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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24182476">My Past, Your Future</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AcerbicAnimagus/pseuds/AcerbicAnimagus'>AcerbicAnimagus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Time [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Play, Dry Sex, Dutch Wizarding Community, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friendship, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Memory Alteration, Mutual Pining, My First Fanfic, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Time Turner (Harry Potter), Vaginal Sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:34:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>147,312</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24182476</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AcerbicAnimagus/pseuds/AcerbicAnimagus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Having barely escaped from the Marauders yet again, Severus just wishes he could get away from his tormentors.<br/>But you know what they say, be careful what you wish for!</p><p>Hermione has just grown accustomed to her potions apprenticeship with the new Potions Master of Hogwarts, the Dutch Jonas Bergen, when she runs into the person she the least expected to see after the war.<br/>Again, Severus Snape makes a huge impact with his presence alone.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hermione Granger/Severus Snape</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Time [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022269</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>346</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>333</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic was inspired by a fanfic I read where Severus turned a student again because of some experiment gone wrong. It's called A Looping of the Scales, by Ms-Figg.</p><p>Some chapters are written as the story progresses, others I've written long in advance. I hope it doesn't show too much (I try to go back to change everything that's out of place due to new chapters and plotlines)</p><p>I hope you'll enjoy it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Prologue</h1><p>BOOM!!! BLAM!!! BANG!!!</p><p>Several hexes and curses were cast, but they bounced off at the wall behind the black blur which dove into an alcove on his right. They flashed bright red, green and white as they hit the stone wall.<br/>
Two boys, one with messy black hair and glasses, the other one with dark brown curls reaching his shoulders, ran towards the t-junction, followed on the heels by two other boys. They had both sand-coloured hair, one of them a few inches taller than the other, a few inches thinner, too.</p><p>“Quick, he couldn’t have gotten that far!” The one with the glasses encouraged his mates, as they turned into the corridor on their left.</p><p>The Marauders were out hunting.</p><p>In the narrow alcove, Severus stood with his back against the wall, holding his breath, his chest heaving. His shoulder hurt from when he collapsed against the wall after his dive, and his ankle felt like someone had stabbed it with a knife, a result of his poor landing. Severus wasn’t athletic, never had been, and diving and jumping like he had, didn’t do him any good. His body was obviously protesting.<br/>
As he listened how the sounds of the steps of his chasers quickly disappeared in the distance, he finally let out some air. They had been damn close to hitting him with one of their hexes, but at last he got away relatively safe. His robes were in tatters, but they were hand-me-down rags anyway. He’d repair them later when he got back to his dormitory. </p><p>This was the third time this week Severus had to run and hide from James Potter and his cronies, and it was only wednesday. They had targeted him ever since their first day at Hogwarts, but never were they this vindictive and motivated to see him actually hurt. Yes, they tried to humiliate him at every single chance they got, but they had never sought him out. Well, they did, but not like this. Not in between classes when they needed to get to class themselves and the corridors were filled with other students.<br/>
They had never shied away from an opportunity to humiliate Severus in front of an audience, but most of the time they saved those moments for the weekends, knowing everybody would be out of their dorms and free to watch whatever they had planned for the Slytherin loner. Apart from tripping him in the corridors, using magic or not, they mostly left him alone during the weekdays.</p><p>But ever since this week had started, Severus found himself hiding in niches and corners when he actually needed to get to class. He’d arrived late two times this week, barging into the classroom, panting heavily, his robes clinging to him with sweat.<br/>
Luckily one of those times had been History of Magic, there had been snickers from his classmates, but Professor Binns hadn’t even noticed him when he’d entered the room like he did.</p><p>The other time Severus wasn’t that lucky.</p><p>Black had hit him with a Pus-Squirting Hex, leaving his face and the front of his robes covered in yellow goo, while Potter had managed to squeeze in a Babbling curse. The class he had to get to had been Transfiguration, and McGonagall wasn’t impressed. At all. Of course the Gryffindors he shared this class with had laughed at him for his mad-looking appearance and they had laughed ever harder when he hadn’t been able to explain himself, babbling like a drunk baby. McGonagall had sent him on his way to the infirmary, taking twenty points from Slytherin House for his late arrival and unkemptness, telling him he needn’t bother to come back. At least Black had been absent as well. Severus had hexed him with a non-verbal <em>Densaugeo!</em> after the puss had started streaming from his nose. There was a good chance Black had to pay a visit to the Hospital Wing, trying to explain his situation to Madam Pomfrey while his teeth reached his knees. The medi-witch was an excellent nurse, but very stern and refused to treat the results of hexes and curses unless the victim explained what had happened to them. She believed if the victim was innocent enough, they wouldn’t hesitate to tell her. If not, she would tell them to find their Head of House and let them deal with the student in question. She was there to help and heal victims of misuses of magic or spells gone wrong, not to heal delinquents only to help them back to their feet in order to continue their bullying.<br/>
The Head of Houses weren’t particularly happy to have to heal their students. It was the medi-witch’s job after all, but they agreed with her that staff shouldn’t encourage bullies. They just weren’t sure healing them was the same as encouraging them.</p><p>Willing his breathing back to normal, Severus cast a time charm. It was seventeen minutes past three. Bugger, he was late yet again and not even a little bit, too. McGonagall was going to be thoroughly pissed. In his head, he scheduled at least a week's detention into his study plan. Well, he was late now anyway, maybe he should just skip the class altogether and work on those Conjuring charms by himself, or perhaps even another subject.<br/>
He had been experimenting with creating his own hexes after all. They’d come in handy when James and Sirius would start to chase him down again, which most likely would be very soon.<br/>
Yes, he would keep himself occupied, rather than risking the thorn of the Transfigurations’ professor, Severus decided. He peered around the corner of the alcove and when he saw it was deserted, all students were in class, he left in the direction of the dungeons.</p><p>Lost in thoughts about what kind of hexes he would like to use on the Marauders, however, he found himself not in the dungeons but somewhere on the seventh floor of the castle. Stopping, Severus frowned to himself. It was not like him to daydream like this. He was always quite focused; he had to be, in order to keep himself out of sight. He thought about how he would give anything to get away from his tormentors as he started walking again.<br/>
He took a left, knowing the corridor would lead him to the Great Staircase, but yet again Severus found himself somewhere else. Merlin’s bloody gonads. Even after almost seven years at the castle one would assume he knew his way around, but evidently he didn’t. He sighed and cursed under his breath, starting to turn on his heels to go in the opposite direction when his eyes fell on a door. He was sure it hadn’t been there when he’d entered the corridor.<br/>
Beside wanting to get back to his dorm to study in peace, Severus knew better than to open unknown doors; Hogwarts had plenty of fake doors, which opened to solid walls as the person who’d opened them crashed into the stone, but it also had some dark spots, luring innocent, unexpecting, young students into their darkness. Salazar Slytherin had built part of the castle after all.</p><p>But Severus was not innocent or unexpecting. And above all, he knew a thing or two about Dark Magic. He was sure he could handle whatever would be behind that door. So curiosity got the better of him and he walked towards it. With his left hand he reached for the doorknob, but he caught himself before touching it.<br/>
With his right hand he drew out his wand and cast several spells at the door. It didn’t show any signs of Dark Magic. That meant either the door was safe or the magic hiding behind was so Dark, these basic diagnostic charms wouldn’t detect it.</p><p>Deciding it couldn’t be much worse than facing the Marauders again, Severus turned the handle and stepped over the threshold. Nothing happened. No Dark Magic then.<br/>
Looking around the room, Severus saw a comfortable-looking wingback chair of the left and a wooden desk on the right. Dropping his bag by the door, the seventh-year walked to the desk, thinking it would be a good study spot. With three long strides he was across the room and stood by the desk. He frowned.<br/>
The tabletop wasn’t empty. A gold pocket-watch lay precisely in the middle, a long golden cord swirled around it. It was beautiful, not shiny, but not dull either.<br/>
Severus picked it up and turned it in his hand. The back had some kind of inscription, but he had dropped Ancient Runes after one year, so he couldn’t make out what it said. Besides, there was a good chance these characters weren’t even Runes, he didn’t recognise even one of them. He turned it back to its front to try to open it to look at its face, but the button on top didn’t seem to work. Maybe it had to be put around one’s neck in order for it to work, Severus thought. He lifted the delicate chain and put it around his neck. This time when he pressed the button, the watch opened. It didn’t look like a regular watch, though. The Roman numerals were all messed up, not in order and there weren’t any pointers. It had to be some kind of special, magical watch, then, Severus concluded.</p><p>He wondered who’d left it there or if he could keep the beautiful golden object. If only Potter and Black could see him now. They always laughed at his shabby clothes, while they wore immaculate robes, bought by their caring, and most importantly, loaded parents. But no, Severus was sure even those two had never seen such a stunning watch. It looked very expensive too. Maybe he <em>would</em> keep it. No one would know he had it after all. But he wouldn’t <em>keep</em> it. No, he would sell it, taking the money. He sure could use some Galleons.</p><p>In a few months he would graduate and there would be no more Hogwarts to flee to. He was sure Slughorn would accept him as an apprentice, but Severus wasn’t sure he would accept Slughorn as his mentor. The man was a magpie. He had only eyes for things and people who could deliver him lots of gold or fame. No, decided Severus, being Slughorn’s apprentice wouldn’t do. The money from the watch would go to his own experimenting. Severus was sure he could create some potions to earn some more gold to rent himself an apartment away from his Muggle father. It would take some effort to convince his mum to leave her abusive husband, but he would take her somewhere safe.</p><p>Wanting to focus on his studies again, Severus pressed the button again to close the lid. It didn’t close. Instead the numerals began to sort themselves, but never setting. Severus watched the characters spin and turn, and had to look away to keep from getting nauseous. </p><p>Suddenly he felt a strange feeling behind his belly button, almost like when using a port key, but his feet were still steady on the ground, so that couldn’t be it.<br/>
As the feeling ebbed away, the numbers stopped moving and Severus arched an eyebrow at the watch. A special watch, indeed, he thought. Turning to retrieve his books from his bag by the door, he saw the clock on the wall. Half past six?! He had been here for almost three hours??!! That couldn’t be. The clock had to be wrong, right? Or maybe it really was a special magical watch...</p><p><em>Tempus!</em> Severus thought, flicking his wand with his free hand. In his mind’s eye, he felt the time. It really was half past six. What the hell? Then he realised the time meant dinner had already started half an hour ago.</p><p>Forgetting about the watch, he stuffed it into his pocket, picked up his bag from the floor and bolted out the door to the Great Hall.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter one - An unexpected visitor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I've posted this chapter at the same time as the prologue, so I've no idea if my writing is worth your time.<br/>I'll keep posting anyway :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter one - An unexpected visitor</h1>
<p>Lost in thoughts, Hermione made her way across the grounds, a wicker basket filled with several kinds of herbs floating behind her. She had been in the Forbidden Forest to collect some potions ingredients. Why they still called it the <em>Forbidden</em> Forest was a mystery to her; students and staff visited the forest all the time.<br/>
It had taken her longer than she’d hoped to get the proper amount of ground ivy. Even though it was a very common plant in the Muggle world, due to its lack of magical properties, the herb was rather rare in the magical world. In the end she’d managed to find a spot with some of the ivy, but it wasn’t enough. Well, she thought, the student body and staff had to stay clear of all rash-inducing things for a few days, because the infirmary would be short of rash-healing salve for the next week.<br/>
While she climbed the last steps of the stone staircase leading to the Entrance Hall, she cast a time-telling charm. Shit! She was late for dinner again. It wasn’t as if her being late would result in punishment anymore, but having to enter the Great Hall mid dinner always made everybody turn their attention to the late-comer, and Hermione really didn’t fancy attracting more attention to her than necessary.<br/>
But before she could enter the Great Hall, she had to stop by potions stores to put away the herbs. If all of them were non-magical, she could’ve banished them to their proper places on the shelves, but since most of them were magical, she couldn’t. Banishing them made them lose their properties, or even eviscerate.</p><p>Quickly walking across the enormous Entrance Hall, she turned on 90 degrees to go in the directions of the dungeons, while checking if her basket was still following her, when she came in contact with something solid, but somehow soft. Hermione let out a little shriek and when she looked up, she saw it wasn’t a something but a some<em>one</em>. Her entire view was filled with black robes.<br/>
Realising she was staring at the person’s chest, she looked up. Her eyes settled on a set of piercing black ones. Taking a step backwards, she started to apologise for running into the boy, when the rest of his frame came into view. The black robes were carefully drawn around the boy’s body, but they were so badly damaged she could see part of the grey clothes underneath and it seemed those clothes were torn as well, because she could make out some sallow skin. Realising she was staring yet again, her eyes found his again. The boy hadn’t said anything and just gazed at her. When Hermione found her wits again, she asked the boy, “How did that happen?”, gesturing to his clothes. He looked down at himself and frowned as though he didn't know the status of his robes. When he met her eyes again, he just shrugged.</p><p>“Are you hurt?” Hermione asked him.</p><p>He shook his head once.<br/>
They continued to stare at each other for a few more moments. Hermione used them to study the boy, he just looked at her face, not blinking once. </p><p>“Are you quite done?” he drawled after a good thirty seconds. </p><p>“No, yes, I’m sorry,” Hermione stuttered, taking off guard by the sound of his voice. It was a deep and low voice, something she would expect to come from the skinny pale boy. There was also something familiar about it, but she couldn’t tell what it was.</p><p>The boy rolled his eyes as he pushed past her, presumably to enter the Great Hall for dinner. Hermione turned to follow him with her eyes, when she noticed he limped.</p><p>“You <em>are</em> hurt!” she called after him.</p><p>The boy stopped walking and turned a bit, but didn’t fully face her. </p><p>“I’m fine,” he said over his shoulder as he started to turn back.</p><p>“No, wait!”</p><p>Hermione quickly walked up to the boy and grabbed him by his wrist. He stopped and looked from her eyes to his wrist which was fully enclosed by her small hand, as his left eyebrow flew up again, but he didn’t jerk away.</p><p>“Let me help you,” Hermione said.</p><p>His right eyebrow joined his left, but Hermione was not easily intimidated.</p><p>“You’re hurt. Let me help you.”</p><p>The boy seemed to think about this for a few seconds, before he just nodded. </p><p>“Good,” Hermione said, “follow me, please.”</p><p>In complete silence, the duo made their way to the dungeons, where Hermione gestured for the boy to hop on one of the desks while she put away her herbs. When she came back, she was carrying a little jar filled with some kind of cream.<br/>
As she pulled out a little wooden stool and took a seat, she ordered the boy to take off his shoe and sock. He obliged without a word, but his eyebrows shot up again. He did that a lot, Hermione thought to herself.<br/>
When his foot was bared, Hermione saw his ankle was all purple and red, and really swollen. </p><p>“How did this happen?” Hermione asked again.</p><p>When the boy didn’t answer, she sighed. He wasn’t much of a speaker, this one.<br/>
A diagnostic spell told Hermione it wasn’t broken, just sprained, but that meant she couldn’t heal it with a spell. She thought as much, because the boy had walked all the way from the Entrance Hall to the dungeons without complaining or wincing in pain.<br/>
Putting her wand on top of the desk next to the boy, she reached for the glass jar, picked up the lid and placed it on the desk as well.</p><p>“It isn’t broken, so I can’t heal it for you. This salve will cool your ankle, though, and take away some of the pain,” she explained to the boy as she scooped out a bit of the cream. </p><p>When she put her hands on his foot to apply the salve, she felt the boy flinch a bit, but otherwise he held still and underwent his treatment in silence. </p><p>“Alright, all done,” Hermione said when she had rubbed in the cooling salve on his entire ankle. </p><p>Wandlessly, she cast a cleaning charm on her hands and the residue of the cream disappeared. As the boy put on his sock and shoe again, Hermione leaned against one of the other desks, studying him. She didn’t recognise the boy, but he had something familiar about him. </p><p>“Which year are you in?” she asked him.</p><p>“Seventh,” he said while tying his shoelace.</p><p>Hermione frowned. She was sure she knew all seventh years. They had been Ginny’s classmates after all, before her transfer to Beauxbaton at least. </p><p>“I don’t know you, do I?”</p><p>The boy shrugged. “I don’t know you either. What does it matter?”</p><p>Wait, how did this boy not know her? She didn’t want to sound arrogant, even in her own head, but after all that had happened last year, people all over wizarding Britain knew her name and face. At Hogwarts there was no one who didn’t know who she was. Well, apart from this boy, apparently. </p><p>“If you don’t know me, why did you let me help you?” she asked the boy.</p><p>“You offered. Not that many would offer their help to me,” he said.</p><p>“Why not? Aren’t Slytherins loyal to each other?”</p><p>“I don’t know. Loyalty is a Hufflepuf quality.”</p><p>“How do you not know? It’s your own house.”</p><p>The boy just shrugged.</p><p>Deciding she wouldn’t get any answers, Hermione tried it from another angle.</p><p>“How come you don’t know me?” she asked softly, trying not to sound too arrogant.</p><p>The boy’s reaction told her she failed.</p><p>“Some kind of witch you are,” he snapped. “Assuming everybody knows you. You don’t know me either, so instead of asking why I let you help me, answer the question why you did.”</p><p>Now it was Hermione’s turn to raise her eyebrows. “You were hurt. Why wouldn’t I help you?”</p><p>“Don’t be daft,” the boy said. “Even apprentices know better than to help me. Bloody cowards. They’re all afraid they become Potter’s target, too.”</p><p>Potter? What had Harry to do with this, Hermione thought to herself, but then she focused on something else the boy’d said.</p><p>“If you don’t know me, how do you know I’m an apprentice?” she asked.</p><p>The boy didn’t say anything, but he eyed the badge on her robes. It read “PA”- Potions Apprentice. Oh of course, Hermione thought, that was kind of stupid of her.</p><p>“I’m sure Harry wouldn’t hurt them, or you,” she went back to defend her best friend.</p><p>“I don’t know about this Harry,” the black-haired boy said, “but James Potter definitely would hurt me. He gets off on it. How do you not know this?”</p><p>James Potter?? What was going on here. Was there another James Potter attending Hogwarts, eighteen years after the death of the original James Potter? It could be, Hermione mused. Maybe someone named their son after him, or it was just some kind of coincidence. Potter wasn’t that uncommon as a family name, nor was James as a first name.<br/>
Ignoring the boy’s question, Hermione decided to approach the boy head on.</p><p>Taking a breath she asked, “So, who are you? What is your name?”</p><p>“Why do you care? Just so you can rat me out to Potter and Black?” the boy shot back.</p><p>Potter <em>and</em> Black? This wasn’t a coincidence, was it? Hermione didn’t know of another wizarding family called Black and it wasn’t a Muggle name. But why did this boy keep mentioning two dead wizards? </p><p>“No, I won’t rat you out. I helped you. I like to know the name of someone I’ve helped,” Hermione said, instead of voicing her thoughts.</p><p>The seventh year held her gaze with a suspicious look in his eyes. </p><p>“Fine! You know what?” Hermione exclaimed in exasperation, taking her wand in hand. “I swear to not tell anyone I helped you.”</p><p>The boy’s eyebrows shot up again as magic swirled around them, invoking a Wand Oath.</p><p>“Happy? Will you tell me your name now?” Hermione said, her irritation clearly audible in her voice.</p><p>“Severus,” the boy said. “I’m Severus.”</p><p>Hermione narrowed her eyes at the tall, skinny boy in front of her. Never had she met someone with that strange name, well apart from <em>him</em>. But he was dead, and also not a seventh year’s student.</p><p>“And your surname?” Hermione asked cautiously.</p><p>“Snape,” the boy said. “My name is Severus Snape.”</p><p>Hermione gasped.<br/>
No, that couldn’t be. How was it that this boy had the same name as the late Headmaster and Potions master? Clearly he wasn’t named after him; his demise happened only a year ago. But why would this boy lie about his name? Was this some kind of joke to him? </p><p>Then, Hermione thought back to the moment when they’d collided in the Entrance Hall. The way the boy had looked at her and had held himself, had frowned. And his voice. It really was familiar. Could this really be who she thought he was? But how? Had the surly professor survived and was this some kind of reset? A second chance at life? Had someone sent him back to his youth or had he done this to himself?<br/>
Pushing her questions to the back of her mind, Hermione decided that if this boy really was Severus Snape, McGonagall would want to know. She cast her patronus and sent a message to the Headmistress, informing her she would stop by in a minute with some very concerning information.<br/>
As soon as the otter disappeared to deliver the message, Hermione grabbed the wizard by his arm and pulled him to his feet.</p><p>“Oi! Watch it, witch!” he snapped, drawing his wand.</p><p>“Relax, I’m not going to hurt you. I just healed you. Wouldn’t undo my effort, would I?” Hermione rolled her eyes. “Come on, there is someone we should see.”</p><p>She tightened her grip on the boy’s arm and tried to lead him towards the door, but he wouldn’t budge. Damn this skinny boy. If he wasn’t so tall, Hermione was sure she would’ve been able to drag him along.</p><p>“Just follow me, will you?”</p><p>“No,” the boy hissed. “I should hex you for grabbing me like that.” </p><p>“You wouldn’t. I’m an apprentice. I could take house points or give you detention.”</p><p>It seemed like the boy just realised that, too. To be fair, Hermione’s attitude hadn’t been very apprentice-like thus far, but he lowered his wand and looked at her expectantly.</p><p>“Well, who do we need to see, hm?” he said impatiently.</p><p>“Gods, you’re impossible” Hermione muttered. If this really was Severus Snape, he was still an arse.</p><p>The boy rolled his eyes, indicating he had heard her, but he didn’t point his wand at her again.</p><p>“Just follow me,” Hermione repeated as she walked out the door.</p><p>o0o</p><p>Halfway down the corridor, Hermione turned to see if the boy had followed her. He had, and when he saw her looking, he sped up, and with a few large strides he caught up with the witch.<br/>
Without talking the two made their way out of the dungeons to the third floor. The young wizard kept his eyes on the floor before him, not once letting his gaze fall sideways. Hermione, however, couldn’t keep her eyes off the wizard.<br/>
The boy really did look a bit like the stern wizard who had been her potions professor two years back. And the way he walked, those long strides. If it wasn’t for his boney physique and the youthness in his face, it really could’ve been Severus Snape. Well, it was, apparently. But how, Hermione had no clue, but she was sure the boy wouldn’t tell her, even if she asked. She wasn’t even sure if he could tell her; he didn’t seem to know anything about what had happened the last two years.<br/>
And so, while they climbed the stairs leading to the landing of the third floor, she asked him a different question.</p><p>“What are your plans for after graduation?”</p><p>“Nothing of your concern.” came the curt reply.</p><p>“God, sorry for asking! I’m only trying to be nice,” Hermione snapped, stopping in her tracks.</p><p>Only after ascending a few more steps, the boy seemed to realise she had stopped walking. He halted as well and turned to face her, his brow furrowed.</p><p>“I didn’t ask you to,” he said.</p><p>Hermione scowled at him. “No, you didn’t, but when I treated your ankle, you didn’t seem to mind so much, did you?”</p><p>“I didn’t ask you to do that either,” the boy simply stated.</p><p>“Well, I bloody helped you either way. The least you can do is not being such a rude git!” Hermione retorted before she could catch herself.</p><p>“Oh no, she called me a rude git. Oh how my feelings are hurt. How can I ever recover from this pain?” the wizard said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “You really think calling me names is going to affect me? At least, when you do it, try to come up with something original. ‘Git’ is getting so bloody boring.”</p><p>“Insufferable arse,” Hermione bristled, as she started making her way up the stairs again, pushing past the boy, and grabbing his arm in passing, dragging him along.</p><p>She felt him drawing his wand, so with her free hand she pulled out her own, fully planning on disarming him. But before she could do anything with her wand, he pulled free of her grasp, and in an instant a white flash appeared, knocking Hermione off her socks, and she fell flat on her face. Luckily, they had reached the third floor, otherwise she could’ve made a nasty fall down the stone steps, a fact Hermione fully realised.</p><p>“What do you think you’re doing, you bastard? You could’ve killed me!” Hermione shouted at the boy, casting a spell of her own.</p><p>He blocked it seemingly effortless, which annoyed Hermione even more, so she threw another hex at him. It never reached the boy as it suddenly turned it’s direction upwards and hit the ceiling.</p><p>“What in Merlin’s name do you think you two are doing?!” a furious voice thundered.</p><p>A wizard in his mid-forties, wearing teacher’s robes, emerged from a classroom on Hermione’s right, looking furious. He had his wand out, pointed at the spot where Hermione’s hex had changed its course.<br/>
With two long strides he was in the middle of the hallway, gesturing both of them to approach. They both obliged quickly, but only when Hermione got closer, the wizard recognised her.</p><p>“I will not have an apprentice of mine hexing a student, Miss Granger. Be assured this will come up on your next review,” Potions Master, Jonas Bergen, scolded her.</p><p>“I’m sorry, professor Bergen, it won’t happen again,” she said with a small voice. Still, after six years of Hogwarts and another year at war, Hermione didn’t handle being berated well. She always felt like a little child, caught with their hand in the cookie jar. </p><p>Her mentor pursed his lips together, and even though Hermione knew this wouldn’t be the end of it, he didn’t press any further, turning his attention to the boy instead. </p><p>“And what did you do to make Miss Granger want to hex you, Mister -...”</p><p>“Snape,” the boy offered.</p><p>“Mister Snape…” Bergen began to reprimand him, too, but then he seemed to realise something and he shut his mouth.</p><p>He let his eyes glide over the boy’s slender frame, at last looking at his apprentice, arching an eyebrow.<br/>
To her credit, Hermione caught on quite quickly and tried to explain the situation to the professor without letting the boy in on the information.</p><p>“Yes, professor, you heard right. That’s why we were on our way to see the Headmistress, sir,” she said, shifting her eyes from the boy to her professor.</p><p>“Very well,” he said, ignoring the boy’s “Head<em>mistress</em>??”, “let me escort you two to her then.”</p><p>Bergen started in the direction of the Headmaster’s Tower, followed by the two students.</p><p>“Why didn’t you rat me out? I hit you first,” the boy whispered to Hermione.</p><p>“Why would I. I cast a spell as well,” she answered, also whispering.</p><p>When the odd trio arrived at the gargoyle, Bergen gave the statue the password and it leaped aside. </p><p>“Up you go,” he urged.</p><p>“Thank you, sir,” Hermione said as she started to climb the circular staircase.</p><p>The boy followed her, getting a strange look from the professor in passing.<br/>
When they reached the door leading to the Headmistress’ office, Hermione turned to the boy. </p><p>“It’s better if you wait here for a bit,” she said hesitantly. </p><p>“Whatever,” he said, crossing his arms across his chest.</p><p>Hermione sighed, but held her tongue as she knocked on the door. A voice from inside told her to enter, which she did, leaving the boy on the small landing.</p><p>“Hermione, dear,” the Headmistress greeted her, “I couldn’t help but notice you missed dinner, but your patronus said this was urgent. What can I do for you?”</p><p>“Professor McGonagall, thank you for seeing me on such short notice. I really think this can’t wait, but it’s rather… curious,” Hermione said warily, as she took a seat in one of the two armchairs facing the Headmistress’ desk.</p><p>“Well, what is it, dear?” McGonagall asked, furrowing her silver-haired brow. People around Hogwarts seemed to do that a lot.</p><p>“So, I kind of run into a student on my way to dinner,” the young witch began.</p><p>Mcgonagall motioned for her to continue. “I assume that isn’t just why you’re here.”</p><p>“No, it isn’t,” Hermione paused for a bit. “You see, I’ve never seen this student before, but he said he was a seventh year and I’m sure I know every seventh year.”</p><p>“Maybe this is just one of the quieter ones?” the Headmistress speculated out loud. “You can’t be sure to know every one of them, even you, Hermione.”</p><p>At this, Hermione smiled a bit, but then her expression turned serious again. “You don’t understand, professor. He said his name was Severus Snape.”</p><p>o0o</p><p>“Severus Snape?” the Headmistress repeated. “He’s alive?”</p><p>Hermione nodded. “Yes, he’s here. I just thought I would come and explain it first before you wanted to see him.”</p><p>“Yes, good thinking, dear. I don’t know what I would’ve done if Severus walked in here without a warning,” McGonagall said more to herself than to Hermione. “Wait, you said ‘student’? What did you mean by that?”</p><p>“Well, he isn’t really what he used to be. Well, actually, he is exactly what he used to be. According to himself, he is a seventh year. He looks like a seventh year, too. So he’s seventeen, a student, then,” Hermione explained.</p><p>The old Transfiguration Mistress looked confused. “And do you know how this happened? Did he tell you how he survived and suddenly turned a teenager again?”</p><p>“From what I can gather, he doesn’t seem to know anything about the war. At first I thought it was some kind of sick joke, but then he mentioned Harry’s dad and Sirius. I think he really is professor Snape, just as a seventh year. He’s wearing a student uniform,” Hermione offered, but her former mentor seemed lost in thoughts. </p><p>To be fair, it was a lot to take in. They’d all mourned Snape when they’d learned he’d died, especially after Harry had shared the professor’s true colours, and the spy was absolved from all his crimes. But Harry hadn’t shared all of Snape’s memories, he had just told the public and the Ministry the man had been on the side of the Light all along, and that without Snape they wouldn’t have won the war.<br/>
Because Snape’s exoneration was a lot to take in without the actual facts causing it, there were still those who thought he got what he deserved, but virtually every Order member just griefed the loss of their spy. They never got a chance to tell him… to tell him how grateful they were to have been under his protection. He had died without knowing if he had succeeded. He never knew.<br/>
Now, maybe there was a chance to tell him. To apologise for their disbelief in him. But then again, Hermione had mentioned he didn’t seem to remember the war, so that must mean he didn’t just turn seventeen physically, but mentally as well.<br/>
And then there was a chance this really was all a weird joke. If that would be the case, some heads would roll, McGonagall decided.<br/>
There was only one way to find out, really.</p><p>“Please let the boy in, Hermione,” McGonagall asked the Potions Apprentice.</p><p>Hermione did as she was told and stood up, walked to the door, opened it, and returned with a scowling black-haired boy.<br/>
Merlin, McGonagall thought, this really was the seventeen year old Severus from her memories, from when he’d been her student. No joke, then.</p><p>“Impossible,” she gasped as they made their way to the desk. So it really was Snape, Hermione concluded from the Headmistress’ reaction.</p><p>“Take a seat, please,” McGonagall said to the duo.</p><p>They both did, Hermione taking the one she had sat in before, the boy on the other one on her left. </p><p>“Do you know why you’re here?” McGonagall asked, addressing the boy first.</p><p>“No,” he said, assuming it had to do with skipping her class, but not giving away any information till it was provided by the other side. </p><p>“Can you tell me your name, then?” the Headmistress asked. She was almost one hundred percent sure it was the former potions professor, but she just needed him to say his name himself.</p><p>“What’s going one here?” the boy ignored the question, turning to Hermione. “Why do you people keep asking me my name? I’m sure I don’t know you, but professor McGonagall sure as hell does know me. Why would she ask my name? And who was that man, Bergen? Where’s professor Slughorn?”</p><p>Hermione just blinked at the wizard, who looked as confused as angry. He clearly thought they were mocking him.</p><p>“Mister Snape,” McGonagall said, bringing herself to address him like any other student, even though it felt really weird to use his name like that. She hadn’t called him Mister Snape since, well, his student years. Ever since he had joined the staff, they had been on first name basis, well, ever since Severus had overcome his habit of calling her ‘professor’, like he’d done when he had been a student. However, it was clear to her now, that this wasn’t the thirty-nine years old Severus Snape who had somehow survived and now in his seventeen year old body, but the seventeen year old student himself.</p><p>The boy seemed to search Hermione’s eyes for a second, but then he turned back to the professor.</p><p>“Mister Snape,” McGonagall repeated, “can you tell me what year it is?”</p><p>“1356,” the boy said sarcastically, really feeling like they teased him, but when the professor lifted one of her silver-haired eyebrows, he hurried a bit more polite, “1978, professor.”</p><p>He didn’t understand why she looked at him like that, and he rolled his eyes when he heard the Granger girl gasp. Both witches then looked at each other, sharing a meaningful look, he didn’t understand either. When he wanted to open his mouth to question them, professor McGonagall handed him something from one of the piles of parchment on her desk. It was a Daily Prophet.<br/>
<em>THE BOY WHO LIVED WITH CHILD?!</em> by Rita Skeeter, the headline said.<br/>
The seventh year looked at his professor, his expression clearly saying “so what?”</p><p>“Look at the date,” McGonagall simply said.</p><p>He let his eyes roam across the front page, till they rested on the little date stamp in the left corner. <em>March 13, 1999,</em> he read. </p><p>“What is this?” he asked. “Is this some kind of joke? Is this because I skipped your class, professor?”</p><p>Ignoring the boy’s admission of skipping her class - it had been two decenia ago, after all - McGonagall shook her head. “I’m afraid not, Mister Snape. Welcome to 1999. Do you know what happened to you?”</p><p>The boy seemed to think about that for a minute. Then he said, “I was running from Potter and Black, so I was late to class, your class, professor.” McGonagall nodded, indicating he could continue. “I decided to skip it altogether and study for my NEWTS by myself instead. Somehow I ended up at the seventh floor, wishing there was some way to escape the Marauders for once and for all, when a door appeared. I didn’t recognise the door, so I entered. There was some kind of pocket-watch. I pressed it to open it. That’s all there is, really.”</p><p>“You entered a door, you didn’t recognise. Did you learn nothing during your school career, Mister Snape? As a seventh year you should know better than that,” McGonagall scolded him.</p><p>Hermione looked at Snape, her brain working at full capacity. He had mentioned a watch; she was sure it had been a time-turner. Those objects were incredibly rare, so it would figure Snape hadn’t known what it was, when he’d picked it up.<br/>
Attending class at Hogwarts always came with certain risks; teenagers with the ability to use magic tended to result in quite some rather precarious situations. Everyone knew to be alert, to watch out for things out of the ordinary, time travel not even being considered “out of the ordinary”. Never, though, had there been a case where a student was sent twenty plus years into his own future beyond his own life. Well, maybe there were cases like this, they weren’t widely known.<br/>
Hermione wondered what Snape thought about. It was a lot to take in, being told you’re suddenly twenty-one years into the future, not to mention he didn’t even know he was dead at this point in time. </p><p>“Professor,” Hermione suddenly said, interrupting McGonagall’s berating, “can I talk to you in private for a second?”</p><p>Both witch and wizard stared at her, Snape opening his mouth already, presumably wanting to protest. He probably would like some answers himself.<br/>
McGonagall thought differently, apparently, and she nodded. Instead of asking him to leave, the old professor pulled out her wand and said, “<em>Muffliato!</em>”  She didn’t trust the boy to stay put if she ordered him to step out for a minute.</p><p>“This is amazing!” Hermione said at the same moment McGonagall said, “This is horrible!”</p><p>“What do you mean, dear,” the professor asked.</p><p>Hermione blushed a bit. “It’s just... It’s clear this really is professor Snape. But he’s young. He already died, but now he’s young again. This could be his second chance at life!”</p><p>The Headmistress shook her head. “No, that’s what I thought at first, too. But since it’s clear this isn’t the result of some spell on the adult Severus, but the result of time travelling young Severus, this really is terrible. We have to find a way to send him back immediately. Our whole world depends on it.”</p><p>“What do you mean, professor?” Hermione asked, taken aback quit a bit.</p><p>“This isn’t just a young Severus Snape <em>after</em> the war, this really is the seventeen year old Severus Snape, the one <em>before</em> the war. This Severus doesn’t know what’s going to happen in in a few years, what's going to happen <em>to him</em>. He doesn’t know he has to die in order to save wizarding Britain. And he can’t know, ever. It would change the course of history. We could end up changing it so that Voldemort will prevail! I don’t even know if he’s a Death Eater already,” McGonagall explained, making Hermione gasped in horror. </p><p>Glancing at the young Snape, he just sat still in his chair, arms crossed, looking angry as hell, Hermione watched as the Headmistress stood up and turned her back to the two students. Hermione was sure Snape wasn’t just angry because he was left out of the conversation, but also 'cause he was left out by his own spell. It was the only one of the Half-Blood Prince’s creations that had become widely known amongst wizarding Britain, first being used by the student body of Hogwarts and then passing it on. No one, apart from a handful of Hermione’s friends, knew the origin of the spell. There was a good chance McGonagall didn’t know she had used Snape’s own spell against him.<br/>
This thought made Hermione chuckle slightly, even with these serious circumstances. She laughed even harder when she saw Snape scowl at her, when he noticed she was laughing even though he couldn’t hear her.<br/>
Gods, she had to pull herself together, Hermione thought, turning her attention to her Headmistress. She appeared to study an empty frame.<br/>
After a few beats, the professor returned to her seat and sighed, “If only that old coot was here. He would know what to do.”</p><p>“Professor, is that the painting of professor Dumbledore?” Hermione asked a little tentatively.</p><p>The Headmistress shook her head and muttered, “Always the meddling fool, but when it matters, he just pops out, only to return when the situation’s diffused already,” but there was no harsh tone in her voice. She sounded a bit tired, actually, and there was a hint of something else, sadness maybe. It figured, Hermione thought; the two teachers always seemed really close, but she didn’t know they had been as close as two people can get for the thirty years straight right until Dumbledore’s death. Nobody knew. Only McGonagall and Dumbledore. And while she always missed him greatly, she knew his death had been inevitable, but at times like this, she really wished he was still there.<br/>
Pulling herself together, McGonagall looked at the young wizard and witch in front of her, and waved her wand, removing the Muffling charm. After, she got right back to business.</p><p>“Mister Snape, do you still have that watch you were talking about?” she asked the boy.</p><p>“No,” he answered.</p><p>“What do you mean, no?” Hermione demanded before McGonagall could respond. “A time-turner stays with you while you time travel, does it not? Did you lose it?”</p><p>“No, I did not,” the boy replied coolly, looking at her sideways. “Keep your accusations to yourself, certainly as long as you don’t have all the information.</p><p>“And it can’t be a time turner. They’re supposed to set you back in time, not send you to the future.”</p><p>“While it is highly unusual, given the fact that you have, indeed, traveled through time, Mister Snape, we can assume Miss Granger is right. The watch was a time turner,” the Headmistress interjected before Hermione could argue back. “Now, Mister Snape, if you don’t have the watch, where is it now?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” he said.</p><p>Hermione rolled her eyes. “How can you not know? You had it in your hand!”</p><p>“I know because I put it in my pocket and now it’s not there anymore, you twit,” the boy sneered. “Maybe you Gryffindors would lose even your own heads if they weren’t fixed to your necks; I don’t just <em>lose</em> things.”</p><p>Before McGonagall could reprimand the boy for his tone, Hermione spat back, “Apparently, you do, 'cause you don’t have the watch anymore, do you, you git!”</p><p>The raven-haired boy didn’t respond, only arched one of that insufferable eyebrows of his. If only people would stop that annoying habit, Hermione thought.<br/>
The Headmistress studied both students with pursed lips. She didn’t approve their little outbursts, but they both had reason to be a little emotional. It was a peculiar situation.</p><p>“Miss Granger,” she said, addressing the still fuming witch, “would you please step out for a moment? I have to talk to Mister Snape, privately.”</p><p>Hermione crossed her arms a bit recalcitrant, but stood and started to leave.</p><p>“Please, stay close. I will talk to you in a bit, Miss Granger,” McGonagall called after her as she went out of the door.</p><p>When the door closed, Snape asked her a question he seemed to have sat on for a while, “What now?”</p><p>“Honestly, I don’t know, Mister Snape,” McGonagall sighed. “This is a highly unique situation, but what I do know is that it's of utmost importance no one knows of your visit to our time.”</p><p>“What do you mean, professor?” Snape asked.</p><p>“I don’t know how much I should tell you. Everything you learn from your time here, could alter history and therefore the present.”</p><p>“Surely I don’t make that much of a difference,” Snape muttered, not liking being kept out of the loop. He had a slight understanding how this had happened, now that he thought about it, but he didn’t understand why it was such a bad thing. He could just live his life in the here and now, right? Sure, he would've liked to have his books, but most important of all, he was away from the Marauders; they all graduated years ago, he would never have to face them again. It wasn’t as if he had many friends in his time. He could manage living in the “future”. The only thing nagging at him was Lily, but she hadn’t talked to him in years anyway, and he could always look her up in time.</p><p>“I don’t mind staying here, professor, if that’s your biggest worry. If you can remember, I don’t have much to return to anyway,” he quickly said, hoping she would let him stay, but he didn’t like the look on the Headmistress’ face. It wasn’t one of approval.</p><p>“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that,” she said without missing a beat, shattering his hopes at once. “I really shouldn’t tell you this, but you have quite the future laid out for you. You have to return to 1978 and live your years as you’ve done in this time.”</p><p>She sighed inwardly. It was one thing to learn about the Potions Master’s miserable life afterwards, but to send him back, knowing the things he would have to face, was something else. It didn’t sit quite right with her, but it must be done. The whole world depended on it.<br/>
She studied the boy, comparing him with her memories of him. She could recall how miserable he’d already been in his last year at Hogwarts, but he had seemed determined to prove himself to the world, and maybe himself. The boy who sat in front of her now, seemed kind of resigned to the fact that he had to get back to that life, his shoulders sagged, his eyes turned down.<br/>
For a moment she wondered how his life would be if he had the chance to live his life in this peaceful world they lived in now, but then she shook her head as if physically banishing those thoughts. It couldn't be that way, pondering about it was a waste of time.</p><p>“So, what am I supposed to do? How will I get back?” the boy asked, pulling the Headmistress from her thoughts.</p><p>“We’ll have to come up with a way to send you back safely, since you don’t have the time-turner anymore. Till then, you have to stay hidden. No one can know you’re here and you cannot talk to anyone about your future. Do you understand, Mister Snape?” she pressed firmly. </p><p>The boy nodded stiffly. He did understand, even though he was sure she was just being overly cautious, which he wanted to tell her, but when he opened his mouth, he heard a little cough and it hadn’t come from the Headmistress.<br/>
Behind her a painted Dumbledore walked into his frame, his eyes twinkling as always, while Snape overcame his surprise at the fact McGonagall had a portrait of Dumbledore in her office, meaning the wizard had died somehow. Well, that certainly explained McGonagall’s presence and Granger’s use of the term Headmistress rather than Headmaster.<br/>
At the sound of the cough, McGonagall stood up and turned on the spot, seething.</p><p>“Damn it, Albus, why weren’t you here earlier?!” she shouted at the painting, but he stayed frustratingly calm. </p><p>“I am here now, dear,” he responded softly before addressing the astonished looking boy. “Severus, my boy, it’s good to see you. How are you?”</p><p>Snape just frowned. Never had the Headmaster been that nice to him. In fact, the only time the old man had spoken to him, he had told him to keep his mouth shut about nearly being murdered by a bloody werewolf, protecting said werewolf. So something must have happened between himself and the Headmaster somewhere in his future, or past. This was getting really confusing, he thought.<br/>
Anyway, he was curious what had happened to the now late Headmaster, so he asked.</p><p>“Nothing of your concern now, boy,” the painting waved his question away. “Now, what are we going to do with you?” he mused to no one in particular. “What would you like to do now, Severus?”</p><p>“I want to stay,” he said immediately, trying his luck again, not that he had much experience with luck, but they could always tell him no.</p><p>And indeed, the Headmaster shook his head. “No, I’m afraid that can’t happen. You must be sent back. But in the meantime, how would you like to spend your time?”</p><p>McGonagall couldn’t help but think Albus was giving the boy a choice here only because he felt some remorse.</p><p>The boy just shrugged. “I don’t know. It depends. Will I be sent back to the exact moment I left or does time go on while I’m here and will I miss the time in the past I spent in this moment?”</p><p>“Why do you ask?” Albus inquired, intrigued the boy was so calculated already. He knew he had been as an adult, but he’d never know him that well as a student.</p><p>“If I lose the time I’m here, when I get back, I want to continue my studies. I didn’t take 8 NEWT classes to fail them in the end because of some watch. If I get back at the exact same moment, I’d like to be able to do some brewing,” he replied, adding “sir” at the end when he realised he was still talking to a Headmaster, even though it was one in painting form.</p><p>“Very well, I’m sure we will work something out,” the painting said, studying the boy’s face for a moment before turning to the Headmistress. “Minerva, dear, do you have any idea already how to send the boy back to his time?”</p><p>“I was hoping you would have some ideas, Albus,” she responded tightly.</p><p>Dumbledore studied her face for a moment as well.</p><p>“We will work something out,” he repeated. “In the meantime, why don’t we get Miss Granger back in the room. I think I have a perfect solution for the time being.”</p><p>Both professor and student raised their eyebrows and the painting - Dumbledore hadn’t been in the room while she had been there -, but they didn’t say anything, as the door swung open, revealing a pacing Hermione.</p><p>“Come in, Miss Granger,” Albus’ voice called out cheerily, to the worrying young witch.</p><p>It was only then, Hermione seemed to realise they were all watching her. Her face reddened a bit, but she hurried into the room, closing the door behind her before she took a seat again.</p><p>“How have you been, Miss Granger?” the Headmaster asked Hermione, who started to answer, but McGonagall cut her off.</p><p>“Now is hardly the time for pleasantries, Albus,” she said impatiently. “If you would please enlighten us with your idea.”</p><p>“As you wish, dear,” Albus chuckled, earning himself a deadly glare from the Headmistress. </p><p>“How would you like to tutor a student, Miss Granger?” he asked Hermione, ignoring his partner’s scowl.</p><p>“Er… I’m sorry, I’m not sure what you mean, professor?” she stuttered.</p><p>Instead of explaining himself, Dumbledore turned to the silent wizard. He wasn’t known to be wordy as an adult. It seemed he had been like that all his life. Well, keeping to the background to prevent being harassed most of the time would do that to a person, Dumbledore mused, feeling a bit guilty he hadn’t interfered all those years ago.</p><p>“Since she already knows you’re here, Severus, would you like to continue your studies with Miss Granger? As I recall correctly, you take the same classes she did last year. She could help you with your NEWTS as well as some experimenting with potions,” Albus added the last bit with a knowing look meant for the both of them, which made Hermione blush, while Snape just remained stoic as always. “I’m sure Jonas will be happy to mentor you alongside his apprentice. He knows of your presence here, already?”</p><p>Now, McGonagall was sure the painting had been lurking just out of sight, following everything in the office closely, but keeping out of view till he thought he could meddle a bit. They hadn’t even talked about the new Potions Master, only the boy had mentioned he knew who was before asking about professor Slughorn.</p><p>“Yes, professor Bergen knows professor Snape is here and young,” Hermione said quickly. “He just doesn’t know he comes from the past, though. I think he’s just assumed the adult professor Snape has turned himself young again. Like we did.”</p><p>She gestured to her Headmistress, who nodded in agreement.<br/>
Jonas Bergen had been the Potions Master at Beauxbaton, after attending there himself. He was Dutch and hadn’t fought in the war, only heard about it afterwards. The circumstances concerning Severus Snape’s death always had been incomplete, his body missing and all, so they’d all just assumed someone had moved his body. The Golden Trio had been there when he’d died after all.<br/>
It was possible Bergen had his own theories about the spy’s death or had just filled in the gaps himself, so maybe being uninformed made it easier to accept Snape’s survival.</p><p>“Let’s keep it that way then. The less people know, the better,” Dumbledore said. “We only have to make sure he doesn’t ask Severus any questions about his life. But I’m sure he’ll make a Vow if I ask him to.” Turning to Hermione, he continued, “Miss Granger, will you tutor Severus?”</p><p>Hermione reddened a bit. It didn’t feel appropriate to tutor her former professor. After all, almost all she knew about potions, she had learned from him. It would be weird for her to teach him not only NEWT level potions but also his other subjects. He hadn’t even liked her while she had been in his class, loathed her, really.<br/>
But didn’t she owe the professor? Well, not in this form, but the dead spy. After all he’d done for them, surely she could tutor him, right? </p><p>“If professor Snape wants me to, I will, sir,” she said quietly to the painting.</p><p>“I’m sure <em>Severus</em> would like you to,” he responded, emphasising the wizards' given name.</p><p>“Oh right,” hermione said, glancing sideways at the black-haired boy. “If Severus wants me to, I will tutor him.”</p><p>They all looked at the boy in question, who furrowed his brow.
He wasn’t sure if he wanted to be under this witch’s tutelage. She had a temper, which he was bound to set off at one point. On the other hand, she <em>had</em> helped him, even without knowing who he was. </p><p>“I… I would like that,” he said, not looking at the witch, keeping his eyes trained on the painting instead.</p><p>“Then it’s settled!” Dumbledore said far more cheerfully than McGonagall thought was appropriate. “I suggest we inform professor Bergen of his new apprentice.” Turning to the Headmistress who had been silent the whole time, he said, “Minerva, dear, I’m sure the boy can stay at the apprentice quarters during his time here. There’s plenty of room there, the castle will accommodate his stay.”</p><p>McGonagall pursed her lips together. She didn’t like the idea of a young Severus Snape staying in the same rooms as Hermione. She trusted the witch not to engage inappropriately with the boy, he had been her professor after all, and she had something going on with the Weasley boy anyway, but she didn’t particularly trust the wizard. He hadn’t been overly affectionate while she’d known him during his adulthood, but now he was a seventeen year old, and there wasn’t one seventeen year old McGonagall knew who wasn’t as randy as the next one.<br/>
Apparently, the painting took her silence as agreement, for he dismissed the two students, saying, “You can return to your quarters. Use the Floo so you won’t run into someone on your way there.”</p><p>The pair nodded while standing up. They walked over to the Floo, studying each other.</p><p>“I’ll show the way,” Hermione said after a few seconds. </p><p>She grabbed the wizard’s arm again and pulled him into the hearth, Floo powder in the other hand.</p><p>“Miss Granger, Mister Snape,” McGonagall addressing them from behind her desk, “Don’t leave the quarters, and don’t let anybody in. Do you understand?” </p><p>“Yes, professor,” they both replied, and Hermione threw the powder at their feet, calling out “My quarters!” and they both disappeared in a flash of green flames.</p><p>When the flames died down, Minerva stood up and faced the portrait. </p><p>“The boy said something important, something I hadn’t thought about yet,” it said to her.</p><p>Minerva furrowed her brow. It wasn’t like Albus to forget something important. Maybe it was because this was only a painting of him.</p><p>“We don’t know to which point in time Severus will get back,” he elaborated. “You must find a way to get him back to exactly the same moment, or he’s going to be missed. I believe he’s already in contact with Tom Riddle, but it’s still early. We can’t have him forgetting about the boy. It is of utmost importance Severus will continue to build his bond with Tom, the rest of our history depends on it.”</p><p>“Oh Albus, seeing Severus again. Young Severus, here and well. Think about all the things he has to face!” she broke down, tears beginning to form in her eyes.</p><p>“Yes, he will face horrible things, but in the end he knew he had to fulfill his destiny. When we send him back, everything will work out and he will know. He will not be forgotten,” Albus said softly.</p><p>“I know, I know,” the Headmistress said, wiping her tears. “It’s just terrible to think about it.”</p><p>“Yes, it is,” the painting agreed, “but it has to be this way.”</p><p>The witch nodded. “Now, what are your plans on how to send him back?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter two - Mister I-Take-Eight-NEWTS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Severus is cocky, Hermione is cocky. Nothing new here, really.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter two: Mister I-Take-Eight-NEWTS</h1><p>Hermione and Severus tumbled out of the floo back in Hermione’s quarters.<br/>
The living room they stood in, while brushing the soot off their robes, was already lit, the sentient castle having lit the candles the second the floo turned on.<br/>
The hearth was surrounded by a comfortable looking sofa and two matching leather wingbacks, several persian rugs underneath. On the other side of the room was a desk placed against the wall, accompanied with tall bookcases packed with dusty tomes and fresh scrolls of parchment on either side. The room was divided by a round wooden dining table, six matching chairs placed around it. A half-wall separated the living area from a tiny kitchen. Against the half-wall, there was a hardwood workbench, behind that a few counters, one with a sink, a stove and a cool cabinet, posing as a Muggle fridge. </p><p>The whole place was immaculate.</p><p>Severus looked around the room, while Hermione went to the kitchen to fix a pot of tea.</p><p>“What did you mean, ‘professor’?” he asked the witch, still standing in front of the floo, looking at her back as she prepared a kettle.</p><p>“What?” her response came.</p><p>“You called me professor. What did you mean? Do I become a teacher here?” he clarified.</p><p>Hermione ignored him as she turned and walked over to the sofa, taking a seat, her feet curled under her. When the kettle started whistling, she flicked her wand and soon a teapot and two cups flew in her direction, and placed themselves on the coffee table, the tea pouring itself into the cups.<br/>
Reaching, Hermione took one of the two cups between her hands, warming them on the hot porcelain.</p><p>“Sit,” she ordered the wizard, who still hadn’t moved.</p><p>Severus went and sat down stiffly at one of the armchairs. He didn’t repeat his question. If she wanted to answer it, she would. If he asked her again, it would only piss her off.<br/>
He could hold his tongue, but he doubted she could. The way she had reacted and responded in the Headmistress’ office, he guessed she would talk eventually.<br/>
He wasn’t wrong.</p><p>“I can’t tell you anything,” Hermione said, looking at him.</p><p>Severus studied her face in return. “So I do, otherwise you would’ve just said no.”</p><p>Hermione didn’t answer, but her face told him enough.</p><p>“What subject?” he asked.</p><p>“You know I can’t tell you that,” she snapped.</p><p>He rolled his eyes. “If you tell me what subject I will teach, it won’t change anything. If anything, I will become even more determined.”</p><p>“I can’t tell you,” Hermione persisted.</p><p>“Is it Dark Arts?” Severus tried. He was surprised, really, to learn he would teach as a career. He had never considered it a possibility. He wasn’t the most patient man and he didn’t like kids. They were always mean to him.<br/>
He also liked potions way better than Dark Arts actually, but there was no way he would teach a subject involving the risk of exploding cauldrons to a bunch of dunderheaded teens. He knew how unmotivated most of his classmates were, and if they couldn’t understand the beauty of brewing, he would keep the art to himself. He would never teach potions.</p><p>“It’s <em>Defence Against</em> the Dark Arts," Hermione said irritably. "And stop asking, you know I can’t tell you. What does it matter anyway? You will learn in time." She asked herself why she had agreed to tutoring the wizard. He had been infuriating as a teacher and clearly he was infuriating as a student.</p><p>They both sat in silence for a moment, sipping their tea, watching each other sipping that tea. Severus waited for the girl to speak again. He already guessed right she wasn’t able to keep her mouth shut for too long. She didn’t disappoint him.</p><p>“What NEWTS do you take?” she asked him.</p><p>He was wondering when she’d ask him about that. </p><p>A bit smugly, he answered, “Transfiguration, Charms, Herbology, Potions, Dark Arts, Arithmancy, Astronomy and Magical Creatures. That’s eight, by the way.”</p><p>He didn’t get the reaction he had hoped for. Eight NEWTS was a lot of NEWTS, certainly for someone who had already set his sights on one particular field, potions in Severus’ case, but Hermione didn’t seem that impressed at all. </p><p>“Yes, I can count, thank you,” she said. “Just so you know, I took nine.”</p><p>Severus arched an eyebrow, impressed. He didn’t know anyone taking as many NEWTS as he would, let alone one extra. About four or five was the usual amount, six or maybe seven if the student was particularly interested in an extra subject.</p><p>“Which ones?” he inquired, making sure to keep his voice even so he wouldn’t show his amazement.</p><p>He didn’t manage to completely, judging by the smirk forming on the girl’s lips.</p><p>“Transfiguration, Charms, Herbology, Potions, Dark Arts, Arithmancy, Ancient Runes, Muggle Studies and History of Magic,” she counted. “That last one is obligatory. Did you forget to name it or did you get it confused with another?”</p><p>“Yes, I take eight NEWTS only to mistake one of them for another,” Severus said sarcastically. “And you said you took nine? No, in my time you can drop it. Quite fortunate if you ask me; it’s all just a load of crap. Nothing important happened, really.”</p><p>“Well, Mister I-Take-Eight-NEWTS, I did take nine and got an O for seven of them and E’s for the other two. And History of Magic is not unimportant. It teaches us what mistakes have been made, so we don’t make them again!” Hermione snapped, placing her empty cup on the table with a thud.</p><p>I plan on getting Outstandings for all eight of my NEWTS, that beats your seven O’s, Severus wanted to retort, but something else she said caught his attention.</p><p>“What mistakes are you talking about? Why is History of Magic obligatory? They only do that if something major happens,” he asked, narrowing his eyes on Hermione, whose cheeks reddened.</p><p>She didn’t answer.</p><p>“What happens?” Severus demanded. “Does it involve me?”</p><p>Hermione sprang up, crossing her arms defensively. “You know I can’t tell you anything. Stop asking!”</p><p>“Well, excuse me for wanting to know what happens in <em>my</em> future!” Severus said, standing up as well.</p><p>Both witch and wizard glared in the direction of the other.</p><p>“So, it does involve me,” Severus more or less stated. “That’s why you can’t tell me anything.”</p><p>Hermione just kept glaring at him. Why did he have to be so damn quick-witted? </p><p>“If it would involve you, I couldn’t tell you. Just. Stop. Asking me questions you know I can’t answer!!” she shouted at him, waving her arms.</p><p>Severus kept scowling as well. “Alright, calm down, witch, don’t get your knickers in a twist because of a few questions.”</p><p>“You git! Don’t say a word about my kni-” Hermione shrieked, making Severus’ glare turn into a smirk, but she got interrupted by the sound of a door banging against a wall.</p><p>“Miss Granger, it’s been a long day for all of us, please keep your voice down,” professor Bergen said as he walked into the room.</p><p>Hermione and Severus turned to look at the Dutchman. He suddenly looked a lot older than forty-six, no doubt caused by the information he’d gotten from the Headmistress.</p><p>“I’m sorry, professor. It won’t happen again,” Hermione said, lowering her voice.</p><p>“Yes, so you’ve said,” Bergen responded before turning to Severus, extending his arm.</p><p>“Mister Snape, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Jonas Bergen, Hogwarts’ Potions Master, and together with Miss Granger here I will prepare you for your NEWTS. Do you have any questions?” Bergen said.</p><p>Severus shook the professor’s hand and thought. Hearing it was a pleasure to meet him was certainly a first. He had a lot of questions, but he wasn’t sure which ones they would actually answer. </p><p>“Pleasure to meet you, too, sir” he said to the wizard. “I was wondering where I would be staying.”</p><p>Dumbledore had said the castle would accommodate his stay in the apprentice’s quarters, but so far Severus could see only one door seeming to lead to a bedroom. He wasn’t sure if the castle would create another bedroom and had yet to do so, or if it would expand the already existing room, and he and Granger would be roommates. In that case, he would just sleep on the sofa, if she would let him. <em>He</em> had no problems sharing a bedroom. They would only be in there at the same time while they were sleeping after all. They would just change in the bathroom behind a closed door. Besides, he had almost seven years of experience sharing a room with other people, and unfriendly ones at that, surely he could handle one irritable witch.<br/>
But his opinion didn’t really matter, he was sure. He doubted the girl would see it like that. She would probably let Bergen sleep in the same room as her before she let him, judging by her snappiness when talking to him.<br/>
Yes, he would settle for the sofa.</p><p>Bergen tilted his head to one side, flicking his eyes between his two apprentices and the room. Then, he walked over to Hermione’s bedroom. Before he opened the door, he met the witch’s eyes, seeking approval to open the door to her private space. She nodded.<br/>
After he’d opened the door, Bergen frowned.<br/>
Apparently the castle hadn’t created another room, but extended Hermione’s one. Dumbledore and McGonagall had told him the castle would provide space for the Snape boy to live in. He had assumed this meant the adding of another bedroom, but evidently it was not.<br/>
The once rather small bedroom, was now the size of a standard students’ dormitory, but containing only two beds. They were still four-poster ones, but a bit bigger than those of the students. Being an apprentice came with several perks after all.<br/>
There was also a second, identical wardrobe, but other than that nothing had changed.<br/>
Given the fact that the room was now substantially larger, it seemed rather empty, since it only housed two students instead of the usual five.</p><p>While he was used to shared dormitories because at Beauxbatons boys and girls all shared their dorms, Bergen appreciated the fact the beds were placed on the complete opposites of the room, leaving a good thirteen feet between them. He was sure Hermione wouldn’t try anything with the wizard, she had Ron, after all, but they <em>were</em> two young people sharing a room without only the two of them instead of eight others, and if an opportunity presented itself…<br/>
The Potions Master shook his head and pulled out his wand, using it to place a divider between the beds, giving both witch and wizard some privacy. He flicked his wand, conjuring a big wooden frame, covered by curtains on each side, and placed it in the middle of the room. One of the curtains was red, the other one green. That should be obvious enough to keep the two of them separated.<br/>
The door to the adjoining bathroom could be locked from the inside and both students knew their privacy wards, so he didn’t worry about that.</p><p>Hermione and Severus waited in the living area, wondering what the professor was doing. They couldn’t see anything, ‘cause he was standing in the doorway, blocking their view. </p><p>“I’ll just take the sofa,” Severus said to Hermione. </p><p>“You won’t get any rest sleeping on that thing, trust me,” she told him. She had some experiences with falling asleep on it mid-reading- or studying. She would always wake up sore all over and absolutely not rested at all. </p><p>“Where would you suggest I would sleep, then?” Snape drawled, scowling at her. “I can’t leave the room, and I don’t exactly see another bed, do you?”</p><p>“You’re a wizard, conjure a bed,” Hermione said prickly, giving him a dirty look of her own. She was seriously regretting her choice to tutor Snape. </p><p>“I don’t know if you ever tried to, but conjured beds are hard as stone. Surely, your sofa is a better option, but if you’re that territorial about your couch, I’ll conjure one, I promise,” Severus said sardonically.</p><p>“I’m not territorial about my sofa. Please, be my guest and try to sleep on the damn thing, but don’t come to me complaining about your back. Merlin forgive me for warning you,” Hermione muttered. </p><p>“So you warn me about an uncomfortable sofa, but recommend sleeping on a stone slab?”</p><p>“I’ll have you known I <em>have</em> conjured bed before and mine were fine!”</p><p>Now, Severus was impressed. Nine NEWTS with Hermione’s results were not nothing, but as far as he knew, conjuring comfortable beds was basically impossible. It wasn’t a rule or something, like conjuring food, which you just couldn’t do, but beds always turned out hard as a rock. Hermione’s beds did not apparently.</p><p>“Why don’t you conjure a bed, then?” Severus asked. “If you can do it well, produce one yourself.”</p><p>“And why would I do that? It’s not if I need one. You can sleep on the floor, for all I care.”</p><p>Well, that was not true, Severus knew. If she really didn’t care, she would’ve made the remark about the sofa. She was just being snappy now.</p><p>“You’ve helped me before, you can do it again,” he said, not realising how rude he sounded.</p><p>“I certainly did, but I don’t hear any thanks coming from you!”</p><p>Severus had already opened his mouth to argue back, but he shut it again, hearing her words. She was right. He hadn’t thanked her. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t grateful, he just wasn’t used to being helped by someone just because they could. When someone had helped him in the past, they’d always wanted something in return. Hermione did not. She had just offered him her help. Merlin knew why.</p><p>“You’re right. I’m sorry. Thank you. I appreciate your help, you didn’t have to do that,” he conceded.</p><p>“You’re quite welcome,” Hermione said, a bit surprised, but meaning it. She felt like she owed him, after all. She just wasn’t sure if she’d ever heard Snape say thank you. <em> I guess I could get used to it.</em></p><p>“I’ll conjure a bed for you,” she said, showing him he was indeed welcome.</p><p>“That won’t be necessary, Miss Granger,” Bergen said as he came back into the living room. “The castle has provided us with another solution.”</p><p>He took a seat at the dining table, conjuring himself a cup and with a flink of his wand, the teapot flew from the coffee table towards him, and filled his cup with steaming hot tea.</p><p>“Well, go on, have a look,” he encouraged the duo who just stared at him.</p><p>The boy and girl shared a look, both of them frowning, but they didn’t say anything as they walked to the bedroom.</p><p>“No way!” Hermione gasped while the boy just continued to frown.</p><p>Bergen chuckled to himself. He had predicted the witch would react like she did. She was always so transparent with her thoughts and feelings.<br/>
From what he had heard, the boy had been a man of very little words. It seemed like his teenage self wasn't that much of a fan of words as well. </p><p>It would be interesting to see the two work together, the professor thought. He didn’t know anything about their shared history, but he could see they’d form a fascinating pair. They were both highly intelligent and shared a love for quite a lot of things, actually. Yes, they would probably annoy the hell out of each other, judging by the bickering he’d heard from them while he’d been in the bedroom, but he was sure they’d get along just fine in the end.</p><p>“What seems to be the problem, Miss Granger?” Bergen asked, hiding his smirk.</p><p>“I’m not sharing a bedroom with Snape!” she exclaimed.</p><p>The boy’s face showed a smirk of his own, making it harder for the professor to hide his.</p><p>“You’ll only be in there while you’re sleeping, and there’s a screen to give you some privacy. I’m sure you can handle it,” Bergen said.</p><p>Hermione crossed her arms. While she was used to sharing space with boys, sleeping in a tent with Harry and Ron for months had done the trick, she wasn’t about to share her own bedroom with Snape. Maybe Jonas was right, but that didn’t make it any less weird. This was her former professor they were talking about. Not to mention her forming relationship with Ron.</p><p>“But what if Ron-” she began, but catching herself. No, she wouldn’t go there. She was sure, Bergen was aware of her… bond with Ron, but she wasn’t about to complain about being deprived of her privacy to shag. Well, they had yet to be intimate like that, but that was also something she would not say. Certainly not in front of Snape.</p><p>But it seemed the damage had already been done, both wizards wore a knowing smirk on their face. Oh bugger, Hermione thought, turning as red as a beet, which only caused the smirks to grow even bigger.</p><p>“I’m sure you know a Privacy spell or two,” Bergen said. He sounded as if holding in his laughter, something absolutely didn’t fell right with Hermione, but she couldn’t scold him for it. He was her mentor, after all.</p><p>Severus let out a low chuckle, which earned him a deadly glare from the witch. He had no problem sharing the room, especially with how this one was laid out. The beds were on the absolute opposites of the room.<br/>
The divider was a plus, too. If he would toss and turn in his sleep and his sheet shifted, she wouldn’t be able to see his bare chest or back.</p><p>“I can even cast my own silencing charms from my side, if it’s any help,” he offered, knowing his comment would set off the witch.</p><p>She didn’t disappoint him, snapping, “I don’t need your help, thank you.”</p><p>“Now, now, Miss Granger, is that how we treat our guests?” Bergen interjected, not at all unkindly. If anything he was still very near bursting out laughing. “I suggest you get used to the idea. We don’t know when we’ll be able to turn Mister Snape back to his real age, so settle in. For all we know, he’s going to be here for a while.”</p><p>Hermione just glared at her professor, really annoyed by the fact both wizards seemed to think the situation was funny.</p><p>Bergen turned to Severus. “Mister Snape, I think it’s best for you to turn in for the night. It’s rather late, and you have a busy day ahead of you.”</p><p>Hermione and Severus took a glance at the clock on the wall. Merlin, it was 1 am already. <em>How does that Muggle saying go? Time flies when... you’re having a visitor from the past,</em> Hermione thought gloomily.<br/>
Severus nodded at the professor.</p><p>“Goodnight, professor. And thank you for helping me.” he said, then looked at Hermione, simply said, “Granger,” before walking into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.</p><p>“Have a seat, Hermione,” Bergen said a few seconds after the door had closed. The professor and apprentice were on first name basis, actually, but in the presence of other people they would address each other formally. It was just a habit. Soon they would have to adjust it and call the boy by his given name. It was only fair, he would be an apprentice of sorts, too, after all.</p><p>Hermione did as she was told, but kept her arms folded. She was still kind of mad with the decision she had to share her room. It wasn’t the sharing that bugged her, but the person she had to share it with. Even though the boy didn’t know, all Hermione remembered when she saw him, was the dour potions professor. Imagine sharing a room with that man. The thought alone was enough to give her shivers.<br/>
Well, at least there was a privacy curtain. And it wasn’t as if Ron visited that often, and even then, it had never gone that far. It would be fine, Hermione reassured herself.</p><p>“Hermione,” Bergen started, after casting a silencing charm on the door, “Minerva and Albus explained the situation to me. They said Severus Snape somehow survived, but got turned into his teenage self, losing all his memories. I don’t think they told me everything there is to know, but I don’t need to know. It is enough for me to know I can be of help to the boy, and I’m proud of you for agreeing to help him. But I have to ask you, do you think you can manage?”</p><p>Hermione  looked at her mentor. She had liked the man the instant they’d met. He wasn’t as intense as the adult Snape had been, or as opportunistic as Slughorn was, but he was quite brilliant in his own way, and kind and patient, too. It helped that he was from the Netherlands, having taught in France, because he had brought a fresh view on things to Hogwarts. Hermione liked that, progressiveness. After the war, everything that was the same as before just reminded her of everything and everyone they’d lost, ‘cause they could never go back.</p><p>“I will,” she answered him truthfully. “It’s just weird because he was my professor first.”</p><p>Bergen nodded. “Yes, Minerva told me you have studied under him. How was your relationship with him as a professor? Did you know him well?”</p><p>“I didn’t. Nobody did, I think. He was always very closed off. Well, only after his death it became clear exactly how closed off he’d been.”</p><p>“Alright, I gathered as much,” Bergen said. “But how was your relationship with him? Minerva said all your teachers liked you very much. Our Headmistress is a very private woman as well, but you two are quite close.”</p><p>Now, it was Hermione’s turn to nod. “Yes, I like to think we are. But I’m afraid professor Snape and I were not remotely as close. To be honest, I think he loathed me.”</p><p>“Why would you say that, Hermione? You had stellar remarks, and I don’t remember anything about poor behaviour on your reports. Surely, it can’t be that bad?”</p><p>“Professor Snape tended to pick on every Gryffindor,” Hermione explained, telling Bergen about how unfair the professor had treated Neville. The poor boy had done nothing but show interest and motivation. It wasn’t as if he had failed his classes on purpose. </p><p>“During our third year, he tested a potion on Neville’s toad. He could’ve killed him!” Hermione said, still fuming on Neville’s behalf at the memory.</p><p>“Why did you agree to help him, then?” Bergen asked. He was a bit confused. He didn’t know any teachers acting truly awful. It could be Hermione’s memory of the professor was a bit clouded by her experience as a young impressionable student, but it sounded like Snape really had been an arse. He was sure Snape wouldn’t actually kill a student’s pet, but pretending like he would just to scare a bunch of children was just mean, and not the kind of behaviour a teacher should display.</p><p>“I feel like I owe at least that much to him, after the war and all,” Hermione said, looking at her hands instead of meeting Bergen’s blue eyes. “And this Snape hasn’t treated me that poorly. He doesn’t even know me, so to <em>him</em> I’m just a stranger offering him her help. Someone <em>should</em> offer him help. Merlin knows he didn’t have any as an adult.”</p><p>“Hm…” Bergen mused out loud. “I guess this is that Gryffindor attitude Minerva was talking about. I’m very proud of you Hermione. This is a really mature and kind response.”</p><p>Hermione looked at her professor and smiled slightly. They sat in silence for a minute, both lost in thought before Jonas spoke up again.</p><p>“Go to bed now, you will be fine. I will come to collect you tomorrow at 9 am, so we can go through your study plan, and adjust it to Severus’. </p><p>“Thank you, Jonas,” Hermione said, standing up. Now that she thought about it, she was really tired.</p><p>“Goodnight, Hermione,” Bergen said, Vanishing his empty cup, and banishing the teapot to the kitchen. </p><p>“Goodnight, Jonas,” Hermione said before disappearing behind her now shared bedroom door.</p><p>o0o</p><p>After Severus closed the door behind him, he stayed put for a second, trying to listen in on the conversation going on between Granger and Bergen. He got nothing, though, not a single sound. They must’ve cast a silencing charm, then, he concluded.<br/>
Walking over to his side of the room, he opened his wardrobe, wondering what he was supposed to put in there. He didn’t have any clothes or other belongings with him, only his school bag, containing books at least ten editions old at this point of time.</p><p>The right side of the wardrobe contained shelves, and to Severus’ surprise only most of them were empty. On two of them laid some clothing articles.<br/>
Severus frowned, guessing they were left behind by the former owner of the closet. He flapped open the cover from his satchel and shelved his copies of <em>The Standard Book of Spells, A Guide to Advanced Transfiguration,</em> and <em>Advanced Potion-Making</em>. On second thought, however, he took the potions book back from its place and put in on his nightstand. It was his most prized possession after all, he would keep it near him, where he could keep a close eye on it.<br/>
The Granger girl was a Gryffindor, and they weren’t above snooping around. She seemed like the type pry. She had already given herself the right to ask him all kinds of annoying questions, and that was before they knew they would be spending almost all of their time together. Certainly the girl would want to know the person she had to share her space and time with, and Gryffindors weren’t known for their diplomatic skills. If they wanted to know something, they would straight-up ask, or snoop around, trying to find answers on their own, and since Severus wouldn’t answer any of her questions - she wouldn’t answer his as well -, Granger was bound to do some investigating on her own.</p><p>Yes, he would keep the book on his nightstand, possibly under his pillow.</p><p>Apparently, people in this time already knew one of his own spells, the Muffling Charm, but he wouldn’t take a chance and let them find out about the others. Losing one of his other books in his fifth year had been bad enough because suddenly everyone knew how to use <em>Levicorpus</em>, especially against him. Funny thing was they’d all somehow missed the fact it was supposed to be a non-verbal spell. They all shouted the incantation when they’d use it, giving their victims at least some advantage being given a warning. Severus considered it a small pyrrhus victory.<br/>
However, his OWL-level book had contained only that ankle-pulling jinx. His copy of <em>Advanced Potion-Making</em> had a lot of nastier hexes and curses, and he wasn’t about to share them with the world, if he could help it, even if it was twenty-one years into the future.</p><p>Deciding he would need to get under the covers and appear to be sleeping in order to avoid Granger’s questions, he looked around the room. There wasn’t another door in the living room, so the bathroom had to be adjoining the bedroom.<br/>
Yes, there was a door on Granger’s side. Well, he would need to cross her space, and she couldn’t keep him from doing so. He cursed under his breath, not because of the idea of entering Granger’s half of the room to reach the door, but because the door in question had a little window in it. Maybe he could obscure it with some kind of charm, but he doubted the castle would let him. It didn’t like being charmed.</p><p>Severus quickly used the loo, and was about to transfigure one of his quills into a toothbrush when he realised he had no toothpaste. Sighing, he cast a cleaning spell on his teeth; it would have to do for now. In the morning he would brew himself some toiletries.<br/>
Walking into the bedroom again, he quickly undressed, not wanting Granger to come back before he was covered by his sheets. He went over to the wardrobe to put away his clothes when he was surprised again. The left side of the closed contained a hanger section, but they were all occupied already. Apparently, the castle or the House Elves had provided him with multiple sets of the students’ uniform. It was a little different from the one he had to wear back in 1978, but Severus didn’t mind. His own uniform had always been hand-me-downs, and being magically repaired every time the Marauders had damaged them again in some way, didn’t do any good to them, either. But these robes, shirts, trousers, pull-overs - it was the complete set, times five! - they were flawless. They had even included a Slytherin tie!<br/>
Severus was really beginning to like being in the future. If only they would let him stay and live his own life, instead of keeping him in these quarters… Well, they would have to leave at some point, he didn’t notice a potions lab anywhere, and he would need to go outside for a few of his other NEWTS.<br/>
Climbing under the covers, Severus thought about his studies, closing his eyes. The Granger girl seemed capable, if a bit annoying. Taking on nine NEWTS and getting those results had to count for something, but that didn’t take away her temper. She had already shown him she could fly off the handle in an instant.<br/>
To be fair, he hadn’t been on his best behaviour, either, but that’s just who he was. A chaotic, if that’s what you could call it, home, and living under the same roof as your tormentors at a boarding school for almost seven years would make anyone go a bit grumpy. But what made the girl like that? Was it just her personality? No, she was clever, she probably could keep herself in check if needed, but she had even burst out a bit in front of the Headmistress. What had made her act that way? </p><p>His contemplating the girl’s behaviour got interrupted when the girl in question entered the bedroom. He quickly made sure his breathing was deep and even, so she would think he was asleep. He did peer out from under his eyelashes, though, and he could see the girl pause a beat and look at him before she marched into the bathroom. </p><p>When she got back, she halted again before she climbed into her own bed.</p><p>She seemed to study his face, but he didn’t understand the look on hers. She looked kind of sad, in a way a father would look when he learned his child’s pet had died. He wasn’t particularly griefing himself, but he felt for his child and his loss.</p><p>That analogy startled Severus. The girl <em>did</em> look a bit as if she was griefing. Why would that be? Had she lost someone recently? Her face also showed something else. Curiosity, Severus recognised. He had plenty of that himself. It figured the girl would display curiosity while examining him, but in combination with that sadness?<br/>
Then a thought hit. The way she'd reacted to his name, had called him ‘Professor Snape’..  Could it be that the girl already knew him? Well, not <em>him</em> him, but him as an adult.<br/>
But that sadness bothered him. If someone looked at you with grief, that wasn’t a good sign, especially if that someone was a person from your future and seemed to know you.</p><p>o0o</p><p>When Hermione entered the room, the first thing she saw was Snape was already in bed. He seemed to be asleep already. Good, she thought. After this evening she wasn’t sure if she would’ve been able handle the boy in the confines of their shared bedroom if he had been awake.<br/>
Realising she was staring at her former professor, young or not, while he was asleep, she tore her eyes away and stalked into the bathroom to get ready for bed.<br/>
When she got back, she paused. The boy looked troubled. That figured. Learning you had somehow ended up twenty-one years into the future would make anyone looking a bit troubled. It was strange, studying his face like this, apart from it being a bit creepy. <em>Honestly, watching someone sleep, Hermione? And your former professor, no less? Gods, what’s wrong with you?</em> she scolded herself. </p><p>But she couldn't keep her eyes off the boy. Now that she knew, she could hit herself on the head how obvious it was. Raven-black hair, hooked nose, sallow skin, scowl on his face, how had she not recognised him? Well, in her defense, she had been under the impression the man had died. Severus Snape had been the last person she’d expected to run into, but here he was.<br/>
This teenager version of him looked a lot less stern than the man she’d known as her professor, almost peaceful. Considering everything he would have to go through, Hermione turned a bit sad. It wasn’t fair the man had been manipulated by Dumbledore like that. He had made a mistake as a teenager, and had had to pay the price the rest of his life. Actually, this Severus Snape was only months away from making that crucial mistake, Hermione realised.<br/>
She shook her head. If only she could warn him about the dangers he would face. But she shouldn’t, couldn’t. The risk of altering the timeline was too big. </p><p>Sighing, she walked over to her bed and got in. She shouldn’t think about the boy as his adult version. He didn’t know anything and they had to keep it that way. She would treat him like any other student she had tutored during her student years. Maybe they could even become friends. It would make things easier, considering the amount of time they would have to spend together for the unforseeable future. Hoping it would take McGonagall only a few days to come up with a way to send Snape back would be naive. It would be weird, though, to befriend her former professor. She didn’t even know if she would succeed.<br/>
As a professor he had always treated her like shit, taking points left and right without good reason and making snide remarks at any occasion. Maybe the man just wasn’t capable of kindness. </p><p>Well, she was sure she would find out sooner or later.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter three - Tea solves everything</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hermione and Severus experience their first moments as tutor and student, living in tight confines.</p><p>Jonas just goes about his life the best way he can.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey it's me again! and a brandnew chapter. (well not that brandnew, I wrote this like 2 months ago lol)</p><p>Thank you if you're still readying this rag. I hope you like this chapter enough to stick around for the next one.</p><p>If you want to make me particularly happy, feel free to leave a comment, negative, neutral or positive. You do you.</p><p>Till next week!</p><p>Much love :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter three - Tea solves everything</h1><p>Severus woke with a start. He had been dreaming about being chased by Potter and Black. He hadn’t managed to get away, they just kept following him, so he just kept running. After dreams like that he always woke up feeling exhausted.<br/>
He laid on his back for a moment, looking up to the ceiling. From the other side of the privacy curtain came a soft snoring sound. Severus chuckled inwardly, he wondered if the witch knew she snored in her sleep. If she didn’t already, he certainly wouldn’t mind telling her at some point.<br/>
Without having to cast a time-telling charm, the wizard knew it had to be around six in the morning. His body clock alway woke him around that time. It had become a habit, having to share his dormitory with arses like Evan Rosier and Augustus Rookwood. Even after fifth year when they all bonded over their shared interest in Dark Magic, they were still bastards.<br/>
All the way back to his first year, Severus had made a habit of waking early to avoid having to face his roommates in the morning. He could shower in peace, dress in peace and walk to breakfast in peace. The Marauders weren’t keen on waking early, either, so he wouldn’t have to face them until much later when they would tumble into the Great Hall only minutes before breakfast ended. Only Lupin took his breakfast as early as Severus every now and then, but he never lifted his wand at him when alone. He just sat at the Gryffindor table and ate his food in silence, reading the Prophet. Much like Severus did, actually.</p><p>Well he didn’t need to worry about being attacked, now, Severus realised, unless the Granger girl was secretly some kind of Dark Witch, which he was sure she wasn’t since she was a Gryffindor. Severus hadn’t heard of any Dark Gryffindor, ever.<br/>
Still, he would keep up this habit, so he could use the loo and get dressed before Granger would wake up.</p><p>Getting out of bed, he walked over to his closet, taking a set of the new robes and clothing with him into the bathroom. </p><p>oOo</p><p>Hermione woke at the sound of the shower running. A time-telling charm told her it was 6.17 am, seventeen minutes later than she was used to wake. She blamed it on the exhausting events of the day before.<br/>
Ever since her first year at Hogwarts she woke at six sharp. That way she could squeeze in some reading before breakfast. First she did it purely because her books were so fascinating, after she’d become friends with Ron and Harry, she used the time to read in peace, before the boys would join her at breakfast.<br/>
But now she had to wait till Snape was done using the bathroom. Bugger.<br/>
Did he always get up this early or was it a one time thing? Gods, he wasn’t even her for a full day and she already had to adjust her schedule to him. Well, she knew what she signed up for, didn’t she?</p><p>o0o</p><p>After taking a shower, which was both physically and mentally cleansing, Severus dried himself using his wand and got dressed. There wasn’t much washing to do, physically, ‘cause he didn’t have any soap or shampoo, but standing under the stream of steaming hot water, revived him in a way a simple Cleansing spell could never.<br/>
Dressed in his new clothes he studied himself in the mirror above the sink. His hair certainly didn’t agree with the lack of shampoo. If he hadn’t had potions class the morning before, it wouldn’t be this bad, but standing over a fuming cauldron for two hours always made it incredibly greasy. Otherwise it would just be lanky, not particularly good, either, but it wouldn’t be as gross. Yes, first order of business: brewing a batch of shampoo and other toiletries.</p><p>When he returned to the bedroom, he saw Granger sitting on the edge of her bed, towel in hand. He couldn’t help but notice her slim legs, crossed by the ankles in front of her. Her hair had been a bit bushy yesterday, but now it looked like a niffler had played in it during the night. Evidently, he wasn’t the only one with a bad hair day.<br/>
He nodded at her before he left the bedroom altogether. He was a guest here and apart from thanking the girl verbally, he would find another way to show his gratitude. Deeds always exceeded words, Severus thought. </p><p>He walked over to the tiny kitchen, and opened the cooling cabinet. He pulled out some eggs, mushrooms, tomatoes and bacon. While waiting for Granger to get out of the shower, he would make some breakfast.<br/>
When everything was cooked and he had toasted some bread, he put everything on the round dining table. He also got some pumpkin juice and milk from the fridge, and poured himself a glass of both of the liquids. He threw back the milk in a few gulps before Scouring the goblet and placing it next to the empty plate, meant for the witch. </p><p>Severus wasn’t much of a breakfast eater, actually, but he wanted to do something nice for the witch as a thank you, so he only took a piece of toast, which he buttered before taking a bite.</p><p>o0o</p><p>When Granger emerged from the bedroom her hair wasn’t as exploded as it had been before, but was still quite a lot. Her eyes narrowed at the sight of Snape sitting at the table, eating his breakfast like he’d done so for years.</p><p>“You got us breakfast,” she said.</p><p>“Obviously.”</p><p>“How did you know you could use the House Elves?” Hermione asked. They could because they were apprentices, but she hadn’t told him about it.</p><p>Snape arched an eyebrow. “I did not.”</p><p>“You made this yourself?” Hermione asked in disbelief, but she was also kind of impressed. She didn’t know any seventeen year old wizard who knew their way around the kitchen. Learning how to cook wasn’t customary for wizards. The wizarding world was very traditional in that way.<br/>
While Ron certainly loved food, she doubted he knew what a whisk was, or the difference between a pan and a pot.</p><p>“Yes,” the wizard replied a little stiffly.</p><p>“Why?” the question slipped before she could think better of it, or at least phrase it a little more eloquently. </p><p>The boy’s other eyebrow went up. “Because I wanted to do something nice. You said I hadn’t thanked you properly. You were right. This is my way of thanking you.”</p><p>“Oh,” was the only thing Hermione could think of to say. Snape being nice? Well, she wasn’t about to complain about it.</p><p>Snape kept frowning at her for a few seconds before turning back to his breakfast like the short conversation had never happened.</p><p>Hermione walked over to the table, sitting down two chairs away from the boy. She filled her plate with some of everything, while filling her goblet with pumpkin juice with a wave of her wand.<br/>
After her first bite, she almost moaned. This was way better than the food the House Elves usually made. Oh they could cook, alright, but they would save their skills for banquets, serving only standard breakfast, which always tasted a bit bland.</p><p>“It’s great!” she said to Snape after swallowing. “Thank you.”</p><p>He nodded once in acknowledgement, twirling his goblet in his hand, not looking up at her.</p><p>“Where did you learn to cook like this?” she tried to make conversation.</p><p>Snape met her eyes and cocked his head to the left. He seemed to wonder if he should answer her. Hermione then realised he probably wouldn’t want to talk to her much. He hadn’t been known for his social skills after all. He surprised her.</p><p>“I cook for my mother every the summer,” he said.</p><p>“Oh that’s sweet!” Hermione answered with a bit of food still in her mouth.</p><p>The wizard pursed his lips disapprovingly. Well, he had a point. It was one of her bad habits she picked up during her teens. It was mostly caused by her eagerness to share some kind of knowledge or information with her friends during meals, and partly because she had spent too much time with Ronald Weasley.</p><p>“It isn't,” Snape calmly stated. “She can't do it herself.”</p><p>“Why not?” the witch asked in between bites. Snape had somehow managed to cook the perfect scrambled eggs.</p><p>“She got hurt.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Hermione offered, feeling a bit ashamed for her prying. But that didn’t keep her from asking some more. “What happened?”</p><p>Snape didn’t answer, taking a sip from his goblet. </p><p>Well, small steps, Hermione thought. She’d already gotten more words out of him than she had when he’d been her professor.</p><p>“Jonas will stop by later,” she said, changing the subject. “We can sort out together what we need to do in order to prepare you for your NEWTS.”</p><p>She searched Snape’s face in the hope of any indication of what he thought about that, but it didn’t show anything. Apparently adult Snape had mastered his poker face long before Hermione had met him.</p><p>“Is there anything you want to do in particular?” she tried to bait him into conversation again.</p><p>“I need to do some brewing,” he said.</p><p>Hermione’s eyes lit up. She would love to see the seventeen year old Snape brew. How much of his skill he had had as an adult did he have already? </p><p>“Oh I’m sure that can be arranged. I have free access to Jonas’ labs. I can help you.”</p><p>“That won’t be necessary,” said Snape, wondering why she would offer him her help again. Didn’t she have to do some studying of her own? </p><p>“I want to. Two heads are better than one,” Hermione insisted.</p><p>“I do not need your help, witch,” the boy said. “There won’t be any experimenting, yet. I already know these recipes.”</p><p>“Well, will you at least tell me what you’re going to brew, then?” Hermione deflated a bit.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Why not? If you won’t let me help you, you can at least tell me which potions you’ll be making. I won’t even be there to see,” Hermione tried.</p><p>“I need some toiletries while I’m staying here. I’m doing you as much a favour as myself,” Snape said, a bit touchy. Hermione couldn’t help but notice his sallow cheeks gained a bit of a pink hue. He was blushing.</p><p>Oh, Merlin, Hermione thought to herself. She hadn’t thought about that at all. Of course Snape would want to make himself some soap and toothpaste. He didn’t have any of those things at this point of time. Merlin forbid he just asked for them...</p><p>“You don’t have to brew those things,” Hermione said softly. “I can go out and buy you a few things in Hogsmeade.”</p><p>Snape crossed his arms and said “I don’t need you to take care of me like that.” He sounded a bit like a petulant child.</p><p>“I know you don’t. Can’t you just accept my being nice to you?” Hermione snapped as she stood up.

Why was he being so difficult? Brewing toiletries always took longer than just buying the things, especially bars of soap because it took time for them to solidify. She did understand he didn’t need her help with those “potions” because they were quite easy to make, they only took a large amount of time. If hurried, shampoo and toothpaste wouldn’t actually clean anything. They would be a bit like paint, just smearing about without doing some actual cleansing.</p><p>o0o</p><p>Severus looked at the witch, who started to put away their breakfast stuff by hand, scraping the left-overs in the bin, and filling the sink with warm water to wash them.<br/>
She seemed rather annoyed. He didn’t understand why. If he didn’t want her help, why wouldn’t she just accept that and move on with her life? No, instead she had kept pressing, so he had to tell her about his lack of personal hygiene. As far as he was concerned, if anyone had reason to feel annoyed, it was him.</p><p>Some small voice in the back of his head kept nagging at him, though. </p><p><em>Why do you push her away? Let her think she’s helping you. Use her! She can tell you about your future. Make her tell you and you can stay,</em> it said. The voice sounded a lot like his friend Tom.</p><p>Tom had helped Severus numerous times, teaching him spells, keeping him company when no one else would. However, Severus liked to think he wasn’t as opportunistic as Tom was. He knew Tom only engaged with him because he thought he would get something out of it later. The older wizard tended to manipulate everything and everyone around him, something the Slytherin in Severus could appreciate.<br/>
He just didn’t like it when those other people ended up getting hurt. Like all Slytherins, Severus thought there wasn’t anything wrong with setting things to your own hand, even if the situation required to deceive the other person. Personally, though, he drew the line at actively seeking out those situations in which people would get hurt. Unlike most Slytherins, Severus wasn’t self-preserving to the point of being selfish and self centered, just self-preserving. </p><p>But this situation was unlike all others. </p><p>	Yes, he wanted desperately to stay in this time, away from his father and the Marauders, but apparently doing so would change history for the worse. He didn’t know <em>how</em> exactly, but while he didn’t believe it himself, McGonagall and Granger had made it clear that he would play some important role in it.<br/>
No, he wouldn’t actively try to stay. He would squeeze in some more questions for sure, but not with the intention of using that information. He was just being curious. Who wouldn’t be? This was about his own future.<br/>
His thoughts turned to the memory of the girl looking at him with a sad look on her face. Maybe he would ask about that; worst case scenario, she wouldn't just refuse to answer him.</p><p>Then, he thought about the fact she kept offering him her help. Maybe he would just let her. He just wouldn’t use her like the small voice’d suggested. It was rather nice to have a friendly face around, and this face would be one of the only two he would get to see during his time here.<br/>
That Bergen man didn’t seem too bad, either, and Severus was really looking forward to getting to know the potioneer. The professor probably knew things no one knew back in 1978, and he was dying to find out those things. It couldn’t hurt to learn a thing or two about futuristic potions now, could it? </p><p>Severus’ contemplations got interrupted when Bergen entered the quarters. He didn’t have his teacher’s robes on today. He was wearing a gray tailored muggle suit with a narrow, black, standard issued Hogwarts tie. His leather black shoes and belt matched. His dirty-blonde curls looked clean and soft. At least someone was having a good hair day.</p><p>Severus went back a bit on his view on the wizard. The man looked sharp, too sharp for Severus’ likings. In his experience if a wizard had the time to look that well-kept, it was either because he had too much time on his hands, meaning he didn’t spend it working, or because he wanted to make an impression, and Severus didn’t like it when people tried to manipulate him like that. It wasn’t unlike poisonous flowers and insects; the most beautiful were almost always the deadliest. Lucius Malfoy was a good example of that, Severus thought.</p><p>“Ah Severus, Hermione, you’re both up already, good, good,” the wizard said cheerfully, walking over to them. Hermione was still in the kitchen putting away the pieces of cutlery which she had dried using a tea towel instead of her wand.</p><p>“Hi Jonas, good morning,” she called over her shoulder.</p><p>“Goodmorning, sir,” Severus said, nodding once.</p><p>The professor seemed in a rather good mood, rocking back and forth on his feet, hands in his pockets.</p><p>“Please, call me Jonas, Severus,” Bergen said, smiling. “I’m not really your professor after all.”</p><p>“Okay, Jonas. I will,” Severus answered as Hermione joined them by the dining table.</p><p>“What’s the plan for today, Jonas?” she asked her professor. She seemed to have gotten over their little dispute. </p><p>“I was thinking we could go to the lab. That way when we’ve finished both your schedules you can start right ahead with your studies. You can do some brewing, and there’s plenty of room for practicing spells,” he said before turning to Severus. “I still have to talk to the Headmistress about your subjects requiring being outdoors, but I’m confident something can be arranged.”</p><p>The wizard and witch nodded their agreement.</p><p>“Alright, come on, then,” Jonas said, spinning on his heels and walking to the door.</p><p>Severus and Hermione followed in silence, but when Hermione went to open the door, Jonas stopped her.</p><p>“Severus can’t be seen by anyone,” he explained. “Severus, do you know how to cast a Disillusionment charm?”</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>“Then I suggest we use that. As long as no one knows you’re here, they won’t look for you, so we don’t have to worry about your shimmer,” Jonas said.</p><p>Severus nodded, and then he appeared from view.</p><p>“You can do it non-verbally <em>and</em> wandlessly?” Hermione gasped, highly impressed. She had tried in preparation of the Horcrux hunt last year, but she had never managed to get any further than turning herself a bit see-through, rather like ghosts. </p><p>Severus saw her amazement and got a shit-eating grin on his face, not that she could see that, but its presence was more than clear in the tone of his voice when he said, “It’s not that hard.”</p><p>“Very well, quite impressive indeed,” Jonas said, clapping his hands. “Let’s go.”</p><p>o0o</p><p>The trio made their way to the third floor, where Jonas let his students enter his private lab.<br/>
After the war, when they’d been rebuilding the castle and he had joined the staff, he had asked to be placed on a level above ground instead of the dungeons. He’d explained his classroom and quarters at Beauxbaton hadn’t been in the dungeons, because some potions required being made in direct daylight. Using the Lumos Solem spell, which was used to fight Devil’s snare, worked fine, but it couldn’t beat actual rays of sunlight. He had found natural light enhanced the quality of those potions substantially.<br/>
Since pretty much every corridor, classroom and niche had to be rebuilt, McGonagall had granted his request, ending Hogwarts’ long standing tradition of having all things potions stowed away in the dungeons. How that tradition had started, nobody knew. All other classrooms and teachers’ studies changed floor all the time.</p><p>On the way two the lab they had passed several staff members and a whole bunch of students, all of the teachers greeting them, some of the students as well. And then there were the little groups of students who paused mid-sentence when they got sight of Hermione, or dropped everything they had in their hands, like someone had cast a Stunning spell on them. Even then, ten months after Voldemort’s demise, Hermione’s presence still turned heads, with her being the Brains of the Golden Trio. </p><p>o0o</p><p>Severus had walked behind the other two, he dallied a bit to take everything in. He hadn’t paid much attention to his surroundings the day before as he hadn’t known he wasn’t in 1978 anymore. Apparently, Hogwarts would change quite a bit in twenty-one years. </p><p>The first change he’d noticed was the fact that none of the stairwells had moved while they had made their way up several flights of them. They could walk straight to their destination without having to wait till the staircase decided to deliver them to a landing they actually wanted to reach.<br/>
Severus wasn’t sure if he liked that change. As frustrating it would be to have to wait for the moving stairs while you were already late for class, the moving steps added a certain feature to the magical castle. Without them moving the staircase was just a normal stone stairwell, almost boring.</p><p>The second thing that had caught his eye was the fact Granger seemed to get quite a bit of attention. Students lingered in the corridors to stare at her, and they stopped talking mid-sentence when she came into view. It was rude, really, Severus thought. If you wanted to watch someone like that, the least you could do was making it not so damn obvious. But some of these idiots almost seemed to drool when she walked by.<br/>
Well, at least they appeared to stare because they were awestruck, not because they were laughing at her. Severus had plenty of experience with being stared at, but only when he was being made fun of, otherwise people would do anything to avoid him, like he had some kind of infectious disease.  </p><p>When they entered the lab, Jonas gestured for them to take a seat. They did, each at a different workbench. </p><p>“Severus, the Headmistress has given Hermione the authority to teach you everything you need to know. I will just be overseeing her. I will not check your work, but if you have any questions, you can always come to me,” Jonas said, looking at Severus.</p><p>Severus nodded, but Granger opened her mouth. “Jonas, if I have to tutor Snape on everything, I won’t have any time left to do my own work. As it is, I’m not even near writing my dissertation yet, and I don’t want to fall behind on my preparations.”</p><p>“I understand your concerns, Hermione, but you don’t have to worry about your project. Instead of teaching the first, second and third years, you will teach Severus. We can catalogue your study sessions with him as part of your teaching education. Who knows, maybe he can teach you a thing or two as well,” Jonas told her. “Besides, Minerva has assured me she’ll put in all of her effort to come up with a way to fix Severus’ situation, so it can’t be that long.”</p><p>Severus just sat and listened while the two of them went a bit back and forth about the girl’s study plans and her dissertation. He certainly wouldn’t mind if it would take the Headmistress a few weeks before she could come up with a solution.</p><p>Their discussion seemed to have come to an end when Jonas went to stand, placing his stool back under one of the workbenches.</p><p>“I’ll be back later, then, to check in on your progress,” he declared.</p><p>Severus just nodded once. He didn’t mind the fact that he would be studying with the Granger girl. She was feisty and seemed to have a working brain. As long as she kept her annoying questions to herself, he would be fine. The only thing that hadn’t turned out how he would’ve liked it, was the fact that Bergen himself wouldn’t be teaching him anything. Bummer, really. He would’ve been interested in the French Dutchman’s knowledge. </p><p>“Alright, good luck today,” Jonas said as he moved to the door before opening it.</p><p>“Bye,” both witch and wizard called after him.</p><p>o0o </p><p>Then they were alone again, but the girl didn’t seem to waste any time.<br/>
She got up and walked to a shelf on the right side of the lab, flicking her wand several times. Jars, flasks and bottles flew to her and followed her back to the workbench before placing themselves on the worktop. Another wave of her wand made one of the heavy brass cauldrons hover from its place on one of the shelves on the left. It landed neatly between the glassware, making a soft thumping sound as the base connected with the wooden top.</p><p>“Well, come on then,” the witch said to Severus, sounding a bit impatiently. “Don’t just sit there. Come over here.”</p><p>He raised an eyebrow at her, but complied. Standing next to her, he peered down at the ingredients she had gathered. Clearly she had collected a bit of everything. These weren’t the ingredients of one particular potion.</p><p>“Which potions are you supposed to know?” she asked him.</p><p>“We were scheduled to work on the Draught of the Living Dead next class. Yesterday’s class covered the theoretical side of the potion,” he answered.</p><p>“Good,” Granger said. “Then you can start on that. We can work out the rest of your schedule when it’s cooling down.”</p><p>“Okay,” said Severus. He didn’t care actually. He already knew the potion by heart, as he did with all the NEWT-level potions. Brewing the potions from Slughorn’s curriculum he just considered them practice to refine his skills. Most of them weren’t actually challenging, but as long as he could do some actual brewing, he would get through the day.</p><p>“Choose your ingredients. I will be right back. The literature didn’t change and I still have my copy of the book, so you can use it while you’re here. Just reshelve the ingredients you don’t need,” the witch said, turning around.</p><p>“I have my own copy. It was in my bag when I got here. I can summon it,” Severus protested. He would much rather use his own book since it contained so much more useful information. Besides, he didn’t like brewing without it, ‘cause he couldn’t pen down his thoughts.</p><p>“And have a twenty year old book with your name in it flying across the school, bumping into anyone who could just grab it out of the air, yeah right,” the witch argued. “Just select your ingredients. I’m sure you won’t die without your own book.”</p><p>o0o</p><p>Hermione went into the little office adjoining the potions lab. It felt weird ordering Snape around like that, but oh did she like it. It was wonderful to be able to tell him what to do, knowing he had little choice than to obey. If only the adult Snape could see them…<br/>
She sat down on the edge of the desk for a moment, thinking about the Snape who was in the next room, and about the Snape she’d known as her professor. In only the short amount of time she had known this young Snape he already seemed so different to her than she remembered his older version had been. Well, she knew everything that would happen to him in a few years, everything that would change him to be the man he had been when he’d died. It just was so unfair he’d never had a peaceful life. Even this visit to his future was most uncommon, to say the least. </p><p>Standing again, she grabbed her old copy of <em>Advanced Potion-Making</em> and some tomes on her dissertation project along with some writing equipment. She would teach him everything she knew. It was only fair. As an adult he had taught her so much during his classes, the least she could do was to try to do him the same favour. </p><p>When she got back to the lab, Snape was leaning against the wooden workbench. All his ingredients had been sorted and laid out already, ready to be used. The rest of the herbs and animal parts were back in their spot on the shelvings.</p><p>“Good,” Hermione said, handing him the potions book. “You can start with the Draught. I’ll do a bit of my own research.”</p><p>Snape just nodded, placing the book on the worktop without opening it.<br/>
Hermione went over to another one of the workbenches and put her own books in front of her. She flipped two of them open and started reading. Even though she did an apprenticeship in potions, her dissertation actually covered more of the Charms field, but the old Flitwick hadn’t wanted to take her on as an apprentice, stating he was likely to retire in a few years.<br/>
She was researching a spell to reduce the simmering time. One could cast a charm to speed up time, to quicken up the process, but that way you couldn’t really keep an eye on the potion, which made it likely to blow up, since you couldn't control anything that happened with it anymore. It also lowered the quality immensely, since it was a bit like cooking on a higher flame. It was still good, but not as good as when you took the time to let the food - or in this instance the potion - stew.<br/>
When she had told Jonas about her project he had tried to dissuade her.<br/>
He was a very patient man and appreciated it when things or people let time and nature take her natural course.</p><p>“Haastige spoed is zelden goed,” he had said, quoting his mother. He had told her when properly pronounced, it rhymed, translating to “hasty haste is rarely good”. It was the Dutch equivalent of <em>haste makes waste</em>. </p><p>But Hermione had convinced him to let her continue. </p><p>“That’s exactly why I want to research this,” she had argued. “I want to create a charm that lets you skip the simmering process altogether instead of speeding it up. That way it wouldn’t burn the potion.”</p><p>They had continued to bicker a bit, but in the end she had been given a green light.</p><p>o0o</p><p>Severus was in paradise. He didn’t need to worry about getting attacked by Potter or Black, and he was brewing. If only things could stay like this.<br/>
He placed the silver dagger he’d used to cut up the root of asphodel on the work top, and added his root to the mortar. Cut up it was easier to turn it to powder.<br/>
Adding the powder to the infusion of wormwood, he stirred the concoction clockwise twice. He did all this without having looked at the book the girl gave him once. He didn’t need it.<br/>
Then he dumped his sloth’s brain into the cauldron before he glanced at the Granger girl through the locks of his lank hair.</p><p>She seemed to be watching him in return, though she clearly tried to hide that fact, for she quickly cast her eyes downward when she saw him looking.</p><p>“Seeing something you like?” Severus raised his eyebrow.</p><p>“No!” the girl said a bit defensively. “I was just wondering what you were doing.”</p><p>“Brewing,” Severus said.</p><p>The witch rolled her eyes, which made Severus’ grin widen. </p><p>“Which step are you at?” she inquired.</p><p>“I’m about to add the beans,” said Severus.</p><p>“You know, if you add thirteen rather than twelve, you will get a better result,” the witch told him. “And you’ll get more juice out of them if you crush them with your dagger.”</p><p>Severus frowned at her. He knew this of course. He had already found that out in his sixth year during his experimenting with the potion. What he didn’t know was how Granger knew those little tricks.<br/>
McGonagall had shown she knew his Muffling Charm, but she already knew him. It was likely she had picked up on it when his book got stolen during his fifth year.<br/>
This girl, however, didn’t. Was this confirmation she indeed knew him at this point of time? </p><p>He wondered how he was doing. According to the little bits of information he had pieced together he would become a teacher, presumably at Hogwarts, teaching either Defence Against the Dark Arts or Potions. There was no way he would teach another subject.</p><p>“Sure,” he said to her, picking up the dagger. “Thanks for the tip.”</p><p>He wouldn’t let her know he already knew. Why should he?</p><p>o0o</p><p>The rest of the day went by, but it could’ve been far more pleasant. Of course it wasn’t, because the day involved having a stubborn teenage Severus Snape in the same room with an equally stubborn teenage Hermione Granger all day long.</p><p>Severus finished his potion while Hermione did a bit of research. Of course the potion had been absolutely perfect. Hermione’s reading, however, wasn't quite where she had wanted it to be.</p><p>As they waited for the potion to cool down to a temperature it could be bottled, they went over their schedules.<br/>
Severus insisted he didn’t need Hermione’s help with most of his subjects, saying he was already proficient at them enough to pass his NEWTS, but Hermione wouldn’t hear any of it. </p><p>“I will be the judge of that,” she had said.</p><p>Severus had just shrugged. He was confident he could get at least E’s in all of them already, he would just have to show it to the witch. He didn’t mind showing off a bit.</p><p>They compiled a list with things Severus still needed help with, and things Hermione would only quizz him on, so they would know if he was indeed as good at them as he said he was. They also made a list of things they wouldn’t be able to cover on their own, like Care of Magical Creatures and Herbology. For those he would have to go outside and that was out of the question. They’d ask Jonas how to tackle those subjects, but Hermione already warned him with the possibility he would have to drop them, but Severus had reminded her of his conviction he would pass with E’s even if he were to take his NEWTS then and there.</p><p>“That’s a lot of crap, really,” she had muttered.</p><p>“No, it isn’t. I can’t help it I’m that good,” Severus had countered, arching one of his infuriating eyebrows. </p><p>So Hermione had called him some names, he had returned the favour, and in the end, Severus had cast <em>Incendio</em> on all three lists, stating he wouldn’t need Hermione’s help anymore if she was going to be such a pain in the arse.<br/>
That remark had Hermione seething. Who did he think he was calling her a pain in the arse?? In her rage she had screamed he would be lucky if he would find anyone willing to help him at all, ‘cause it sure as hell wouldn’t be her.</p><p>It was a miracle no one had been hexed.</p><p>They had been on opposites of the lab, both sulking about while muttering under their breath, when Jonas had come back. Severus was busy cleaning the brewing equipment, and Hermione was scratching away on her research parchment, both of them still fuming.<br/>
When he had asked what had happened, they had both kept their mouth shut, something which made the professor chuckle. <em>Ah the young</em>, he had thought to himself.</p><p>Then, he had ordered them to join him in the little office, seating them in front of his desk, sitting behind it himself. He had continued to look at them in silence. He knew his apprentice couldn’t hold her tongue for a long period of time, especially with the tension as palpable as it had been at that moment.</p><p>After only a minute, she had given in. She told the professor what a git Severus was, like he hadn’t been in the same room, and there was no way she would teach him anything if he just kept being so damn stubborn.</p><p>When asked about his side of the story, Severus had just said he didn’t need Hermione’s help, while scowling the entire time they had been in the office.</p><p>Jonas had sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, swearing under his breath in both Dutch and French. Hermione heard “Verdomme” the Dutch version of damn it, something Jonas said a lot after a tiring day. Severus could only make out a really annoyed sounding “Putain”, because he had heard Lucius Malfoy say it a few times when talking to his French mother.</p><p>Instead of trying to get them to agree on something, he had just summoned a House Elf and ordered tea. Drinking tea to diffuse a situation wasn’t something England had monopoly on, the Dutch liked their tea as well. They just didn’t drink it as black as the night or with so much milk and sugar, you’d almost forget you were drinking tea.</p><p>The tea had calmed the young wizard and witch down a bit, both lost in their thoughts.<br/>
Jonas had continued to study their faces as he could almost hear the cogs churning inside their heads. </p><p>After a while, he had met Severus’ eyes, saying he did understand the boy didn’t feel the need for help, but asking him if he <em>wanted</em> it.<br/>
That question seemed to be a lot for the boy, but after giving it a moment’s thought he had nodded yes.</p><p>He hadn’t tried to be so difficult on purpose, he just didn’t like it when someone went back on their word. Granger had said she would help him, but then refused only because he’d said he would already be able to get good remarks on his NEWTS.<br/>
He thought it was because she didn’t like the possibility he could get more O’s than she had. It never occurred to him that he was being an arrogant git, though Hermione had told him so repeatedly.</p><p>He really didn’t think he would need the witch’s help. He would like to have her help, though. She was good company, despite her temper. She reminded him a bit of Lily. Just a bit, Lily was equally fierce, but she would never help him, unless she would get something in return. Severus had thought on multiple occasions she could’ve been sorted into Slytherin. </p><p>When Severus had nodded, indicating he did want her help, Hermione had opened her mouth to ask what was wrong with him. Who treated a person he wanted help from like he had? Why couldn’t he just ask like a normal person instead of being such an arrogant arse?<br/>
She didn’t know about Severus’ life as it had been till then, though. She didn’t know every time someone had offered their help to him, they’d had some ulterior motive.<br/>
Before she could question him, however, Jonas had given her a warning look, shutting her up effectively.</p><p>In contrast to Hermione, Jonas did have some inkling about why the boy was acting the way he was, and was just glad he had gotten him to admit he wanted Hermione’s help. He knew the girl did want to help Severus, but he had to agree with her that the boy wasn’t making it easy for her.<br/>
He got Hermione to take back her words and promise to assist him on his studies and then got them to shake hands, knowing a verbal agreement of sorts, let alone an apology, was too much to ask. </p><p>God, he hoped McGonagall would hurry finding a solution to both the boy’s problem.</p><p>Jonas Bergen wasn’t a man to back down from a challenge, but he could see how this whole situation affected his apprentice, and it wasn’t for the better. He understood what all those people had told him about Severus Snape; he really was a git. But git or not, he was a student now, and under his tutelage, so Jonas decided he would do everything he could to assist him. And to be fair, Severus Snape wasn’t really unlike all other seventeen year old boys. They were all stubborn gits. Jonas knew they would mellow out some in a year or two, three.</p><p>They had spent the following hour actually going over Severus’ study plans, everything working out in the end. The boy hadn’t acted so terribly arrogant, and Hermione kept most of her bossy comments to herself. The interaction between his students had Jonas having to hide a smile more than a few times; the pair of them had a lot in common, even if they couldn’t see it.<br/>
At last, they had agreed Severus wouldn’t actually need a lot of assistance with his studies. Severus would revise his classes on his own, and Hermione would only test him on this and that, not all that much. </p><p>The young wizard had already shown he could perform some extraordinary magic, such as his non-verbal, wandless casting of the Disillusionment Charm, and his perfect Draught of the Living Dead. Of course Hermione hadn’t refrained from taking some credit for the latter, but Severus had let her, not telling her he could have brewed the perfect Draught in his sleep.</p><p>So the next days, Hermione worked on her own research project up in the lab on the third floor, Severus did his reading down and spell practise in the dungeons, while Jonas just popped in every once in a while between his own classes and teacher’s responsibilities.<br/>
The day after the students' dispute he had provided Severus with some toiletries at Hermione’s request.</p><p>	The first two evenings, the three of them would dine together in Hermione’s quarters, but Severus had insisted they didn’t need to do that just to keep him company. They should go out into the Great Hall and eat with their peers. To that, Jonas had agreed, liking the idea of spending some time with his colleagues instead of two teenagers after an entire day of teaching, but Hermione had stayed, stating she wouldn’t be missed anyway.</p><p>Hermione did go out the third evening, a Friday night, to meet with her friends.<br/>
She couldn’t tell any of them who she was sharing her time with now, but they knew she was busy with her dissertation, and because none of them actually understood what it was she was researching, they didn’t press her about her activities. She just told them she had come across some very interesting findings.</p><p>They were all proud of her. She was the only one still at Hogwarts, studying. Harry and Ron had accepted the Ministry’s offer to start the Auror’s program - they were both complaining about a high workload because of some increase in the Aurors’ readings, which monitored the active use of Dark Magic at all times-, Molly had sent Ginny to Beauxbaton for her last year of magical education, not wanting her near “that terribly dangerous castle”. When Mrs Weasly had processed the death of Fred to the extent of being somewhat functional again, instead of sobbing all day and losing her ability to do magic, she began shrieking how they’d all been blinded by the mere presence of Dumbledore, and since the old wizard was gone, Hogwarts was just a school where students got hurt, a lot. No, she wouldn’t have her youngest child, her only daughter attending ‘that horrible place’ again, or some other name she had taken to call Hogwarts.<br/>
Beauxbaton was a lot safer in a way. It didn’t have as much history as Hogwarts, so there weren’t as many surprises, like some secret room with a freaking Basilisk.<br/>
The French magical school was more like any Muggle boarding school, the use of magic was heavily regulated. Students could only use their wands in class, a fact Hermione had been astonished about when Jonas had told her. </p><p>“But how are they able to practise for classes? Not to mention the lack of self-development!” she had argued. </p><p>Jonas had explained Beauxbaton provided the students with special classrooms specifically meant for studying, a bit like Study Hall at Hogwarts, but not just one place, but several rooms, so students could practise and study in small groups instead in a large hall with hundreds of others. Of course teachers oversaw each study room.<br/>
When explained, Hermione could see the benefit of those study rooms -one had to sit through only one Study Hall together with Seamus Finnigan and his endless explosions to understand the advantage of the smaller study groups-, though she still thought being able to use magic on your own would teach you things no one and nothing else could.</p><p>The rest of her evening out, she mostly listened to the stories of the others, while Ron tried to hold her hand or some other part of her body. Neville and Luna sat hand in hand, so Ron argued they had to as well, and of course that didn’t go over well with Hermione. </p><p>“If you want to hold hands with me,” she hissed to her boyfriend, “you have to come up with a better reason than your petty competitiveness for ‘having the best relationship’. Neville and Luna could be full out shagging right now, and that still doesn’t mean we have to as well, Ronald.”</p><p>The boy flushed, but his raised eyebrows and glance in Harry’s direction didn’t go unnoticed by Hermione, causing her to switch places with the Boy-Who-Lives, so she wouldn’t have to sit next to Ron any longer. </p><p>“It’s alright, mate,” Harry said empathetically. “I can’t hold hands with my girlfriend, either.”</p><p>At that Ron punched his mate on the arm, which resulted in laughter by the rest.<br/>
Hermione was pleasantly surprised. By mentioning his relationship with Ginny, Harry had successfully steered Ron’s attention from their dispute. The Auror’s program did him a lot of good, Hermione thought to herself.</p><p>The conversation went back to their lives outside of Hogwarts. Luna and Neville shared their plans to travel around the world; Luna wanted to visit Peru because of the rare Erumpent, which should reside there, Neville would just tag along because he wanted to be in the near vicinity of his girlfriend, and he also didn’t mind seeing a bit of the world and its magical plants in the process. Ron stopped boasting about being an Auror, and Harry told the rest about Ginny’s experiences with attending school at a school that wasn’t Hogwarts. Apparently she got in a lot more trouble in France than she had in Scotland, because, and Harry had quoted her here, “those French gits have some enormous baguettes up their arses.”</p><p>After a lot of laughter, some more stories and a lot more butterbeer, the friends had parted. Neville and Luna got a hug from Hermione, she kissed Harry on the cheek after hugging him as well, and much to Ron’s chagrin, a hug and kiss on the cheek was all he got, too.<br/>
His scowl was unseen by his girlfriend who had turned and left quickly after saying goodbye. She was dying to get back to the castle, where another wizard would be waiting.<br/>
But that was something that didn’t occur to her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yes, Hermione tells Severus how to improve that potion using knowledge she got from him in the first place :)</p><p>Also, I don't like the ending of this chapter because it feels kind of abrupt or something, but whatever I did it just ended up even worse. But oh well, I  hope you can forgive me lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter four - An unusual duo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A lot of miscommunication, a stubborn Hermione and a snarky Severus. So, nothing out of the ordinary, really.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I had a sucky day 'cause I'm sore all over, 'cause I got ran over by a cyclist yesterday and on top of that I lost my ID and bank card today, so here's a new chapter for you to enjoy.</p><p>Please do. Enjoy it, I mean.</p><p>Much love :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter four - An unusual duo</h1><p>Everything went fine between the young wizard and witch the first four days. They got along pretty well actually once they both had come to term with each other’s company. They weren’t exactly friends, but they weren’t overly rude to each other.<br/>
After some convincing from Hermione’s part, they even agreed to call each other by their first name, although they just tried to avoid using each other’s given name, going for terms like ‘witch’ and ‘wizard’ instead. Hermione didn’t like it when Severus called her ‘Granger’. It reminded her of the late Potions Master.</p><p>Severus found he respected the witch. She was brilliant. There was not much he could say or do about his potions experiments she didn’t understand. Apart from Lily no one even wanted to listen to his endless experimentations, and even she had a limit of fifteen minutes about it per day. If he went on any longer, she would complain her brain turned to Flobberworm Mucus.</p><p>Hermione seemed to mellow out a bit, too. She didn’t snap at him as much, though she kept trying to keep looking over his shoulder when he would study. After he had found out she didn’t do it to annoy him, but because she was genuinely interested in his thoughts, he just let her. It was way easier than to tell her off, something she didn’t take very well, he found.</p><p> </p><p>The fifth day was when things went south again.</p><p>It was Sunday, late in the afternoon, when Hermione walked into her quarters, finding Severus busy in the kitchen. He had taken to cooking dinner every evening, his way of thanking the witch for her help. He was a really good cook actually.</p><p>“Witch,” he said in greeting, to which Hermione replied with “Wizard.”</p><p>“What are you making?” she asked.</p><p>“Food.”</p><p>Hermione rolled her eyes. As adept as he was at his school subjects and magic, Severus Snape the teenager seemed to have <em>mastered</em> the skill of getting the blood from under her nails the instant they had met. Something the adult Severus had had no difficulties with as well.</p><p>“So, what kind of food?” Hermione tried.</p><p>“I’m sure your eyes work.” </p><p>She rolled those eyes again. He was being a prat.</p><p>She peered into the pots he had placed on the stove. One of them had some vegetables in water, the other one was still empty. The oven was on as well, two small hens dripping grease on the grill.<br/>
Severus added some potatoes to the still empty pot and pointed his wand at them.</p><p>“<em>Aguamenti!</em>” he said, filling the pot with water till all the potatoes were covered.</p><p>He turned on the stove, setting both pots to a simmer. Then he got the jar of salt, dumping a spoonful into the pot with potatoes.</p><p>“You know salt doesn’t actually get incorporated at this point. The potatoes have to get a bit soft first before they will absorb the salt,” Hermione offered, watching him.</p><p>“If you think you can do better than me, be my guest, take over,” Severus said.</p><p>“That’s not what I meant and you know it. Don’t be a prat,” Hermione chided.</p><p>Severus turned on the stove.</p><p>“For your information, I didn’t add the salt to flavour the potatoes. Salt highers the water’s boiling point. Everything will cook a bit faster.”</p><p>“Oh,” Hermione said, not knowing how to respond. It was quite clever, actually.</p><p>“Yes, ‘oh’,” Severus said sarcastically. ‘Now, will you let me finish, or are you going to ask me some more stupid questions?”</p><p>“Gods, I was just trying to help, you git,” exasperated, Hermione threw her hands in the air. “</p><p>“No need to get so defensive,” the boy replied, frustratingly calmly. “What kind of pixie got in your knickers today?”</p><p>“What kind a pixie in my… that’s great, really,” Hermione muttered under her breath, ignoring Severus’ jab.</p><p>“You want me to phrase it differently?” he asked in his low voice, which made him all the more annoying at this point. “How about, who the hell pissed in your pumpkin juice this morning?”</p><p>“Why do you insist on being such an arse?” Hermione shot back.</p><p>“I’m being the arse?” Severus asked, glaring daggers. “I’m not the one coming in here, questioning my cooking skills. The skills, by the way, you never seem to have a problem with once you shovel my food into your mouth every evening.”</p><p>“I was only trying to help!” Hermione shrieked, stomping her left foot on the ground. How infuriating the boy was!</p><p>“Cook your own meal then, if you think you can do better,” he goaded her, turning back to the stove again.</p><p>“You know I can’t cook.” Scowling at his back, Hermione crossed her arms defensively.</p><p>“That’s not my problem, nor my fault.”</p><p>“No, but the least you can do is stop being such a bastard about it! So you have learned to cook, how fantastic for you!” Hermione said to Severus’ back.</p><p>The boy spun back to her in a split-second, his black eyes glittered dangerously, the look on his face was murderous.</p><p>“I never wanted to learn!” he yelled back. “I had to, 'cause my mother is paralysed from the neck down, courtesy of my lovely father. And the only thing <em>he</em> does is either drowning himself in whiskey while complaining about life, or beating the shit out of his already paralysed wife. It’s quite logical, really, she can’t do anything to defend herself. He can just keep going.”</p><p>Heavily breathing, the boy kept glaring at Hermione, when he seemed to realise what he had said. Obviously he hadn’t meant to share so much about his life, ‘cause he turned back without a word and continued cooking like he hadn’t just shouted about his miserable home situation.</p><p>“I didn’t know,” was all Hermione could manage in response. </p><p>He ignored her.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” she offered quietly. “I would never have yelled at you like that if I knew you-”</p><p>He cut her off. “I don’t need your pity.”</p><p>“I’m trying to apologise here,” Hermione snapped. “You can just accept it and we can both move on.”</p><p>“I don’t need your apology. There is nothing to move on from.”</p><p>“Well, I’m sorry for saying sorry, then” Hermione huffed before storming off to her room.<br/>
She would read in peace till dinner was ready. </p><p>Slamming the door behind her, she sunk down at her bed. </p><p>
  <em>Gods, why does he have to be so difficult about everything?</em>
</p><p>In an attempt to keep her mind of their fight, she pulled out her books on potions and charms.<br/>
Soon, she was lost in her research, reading more and more about the boiling process of different potions, statis charms and what not. After an hour of scribbling down her thoughts and findings, she rolled up her parchment and put away her books.<br/>
Satisfied with her progress, she exited her room to find Severus sitting at an empty dinner table, scowling at the cup of tea he held in his hands. </p><p>“Where’s dinner?” she asked him.</p><p>When he didn’t respond, she repeated the question.</p><p>“In my stomach,” he said, without looking at her.</p><p>“What? You ate all of it? Why didn’t you get me?” asked Hermione, raising her voice. Could he be any more impossible? Was he really that petty, that he had meant it when he’d said she could fix her own meal? </p><p>“No, I ate <em>some</em> of it,” he said.</p><p>“And you didn’t get me?!” Hermione yelled.</p><p>“I did!” Severus snapped, placing his cup on the table with a thud. His tea spilled over the rim, dripping from the edge of the table. They didn’t notice.</p><p>“No, you didn’t! I can’t believe you’re such an arse you deny me dinner just 'cause I asked you a few questions!”</p><p>“I did call you,” Severus yelled back. “It’s not my fault nothing can get through your thick skull!” That wasn’t true. She was highly intelligent, and he knew it. But he also knew his comment would piss her off immensely, and she had hurt him, ignoring him when he had gone out of his way to make dinner.</p><p>“Don’t you dare call me thick! If it wasn’t for me, you would have to do your NEWT preparations all by yourself!” she shrieked. </p><p>“How many times do I have to tell you I don’t actually need your help, Granger,” Severus hissed. “I’m perfectly capable of studying on my own.”</p><p>Oh, so she was ‘Granger’ now eh? </p><p>“So you’ve said, Snape,” she spat, “but you also said you do want my help, which I willingly agreed to give by the way, so don’t be such an arse!”</p><p>Severus snorted.</p><p>“Well, just yesterday you said you didn’t want to give it anyway, so just don’t bother and leave me alone,” he countered, stalking back to their room. A second thud told her he had locked himself away in the bathroom.</p><p>“Fine!” Hermione screamed at the closed door before storming off herself, but out the door to the public corridor.</p><p>She had to clear her head and getting a bit of fresh air would do that for her. </p><p>o0o</p><p>Wandering across the Hogwarts’ grounds, Hermione sighed. Maybe, possibly, there was a little teeny tiny chance Severus had actually called her for dinner, but she hadn’t heard. She was known to get so immersed in her studies she would forget about the world around her.<br/>
The thought of that possibility didn’t sit right with her. If it was true, he hadn’t been the arse, she had. He probably was just hurt, thinking she had ignored him on purpose. He had said his mum was being abused by his dad, for Merlin’s sake!</p><p>She got pulled from her thoughts at the sound of someone calling her name. Halting and looking up to her right, she saw Jonas making his way over to her. She waited till he caught up, and then started walking again.</p><p>“Hi Jonas,” she said with a small voice. She was quite ashamed of herself after reflecting on her behaviour. He was probably here to tell her he was disappointed in her. She had promised to help Severus, knowing he would be difficult and not particularly accepting of her assistance.</p><p>“Hermione,” he greeted her, not unkindly. “Severus told me what happened. He said you didn’t join him for dinner after you had a falling-out.”</p><p>“I guess I didn’t,” Hermione admitted.</p><p>“He felt like you were ignoring him. He’s hurt.”</p><p>“I wasn’t. I was studying and must have missed his call,” Hermione said a bit defensively, stopping, and crossing her arms.</p><p>“So I figured,” Jonas said calmly. “When I explained it to Severus, he said he understood. He isn’t mad at you anymore. You just hurt him.”</p><p>“I did, didn’t I,” Hermione sighed. “I didn’t mean to, I was just a bit… occupied.”</p><p>Her mentor nodded at her, a knowing look in his eyes. He knew how his apprentice could get caught up in her work.</p><p>“Did you know his father beats his mum?” Hermione asked after a moment of silence.</p><p>Jonas looked at her, a shocked look in his eyes. “No, I didn’t know that. That’s not public knowledge. I assume he told you?”</p><p>“Yes, but I think he didn’t mean to tell me. It kind of slipped out in the heat of the moment, so to speak,” Hermione said.</p><p>“Ah, I see,” Jonas replied. “The poor boy. I doubt he has told anybody in his time either. I will speak with Minerva about it. Maybe she can offer him some counseling for the time being.”</p><p>Hermione just nodded in agreement. She didn’t know how else they could help Severus.<br/>
During her sixth year, when she had done research on his mum, she had read about the once beautiful and clever Eileen Prince, but there hadn’t been anything on her being paralysed, nor an abusive husband. She had died in 1979, though, so she must have passed away soon after Severus’ graduation. Hermione could only hope that his mother’s death also meant the end of his father’s terror on Severus.</p><p>“Let’s get back, shall we?” Jonas suggested after a while. “You still haven’t eaten anything, and you can tell Severus you’re sorry.”</p><p>Hermione smiled sadly. “I guess I can go to the Great Hall to have a bite before I go to Severus. I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt him.”</p><p>“He saved you a plate, you know,” Jonas said.</p><p>Hermione looked up to him, frowning. The table had been empty when she got out of her room.<br/>
Jonas recognised her confused look.</p><p>“He just put everything under the grill again to keep it warm. It maintains the flavour better than when casting a Statis Charm, he says,” Jonas told her.</p><p>Now Hermione really felt ashamed of herself, tears springing to her eyes. She had accused him of eating all of the food, food he had cooked in the first place, but when he’d said he hadn’t, she’d just assumed he had Vanished the rest of it. </p><p>Jonas handed her a clean handkerchief.</p><p>“Come now, I know you didn’t mean to hurt him. Severus does, too. He’s just prone to think the worst of things,” he said softly. “Rather like you.”</p><p>She nodded, but the shame stayed. </p><p>The professor and apprentice made their way back to the dungeons, while Jonas told her about his meeting with the Headmistress.</p><p>When she had asked him to stop by, he had assumed it would be about Severus, but he hadn’t been expecting what she told him.<br/>
She had admitted to telling him a false story about the boy, explaining to him the actual situation, that he was in fact from the past.</p><p>Then she had proceeded to tell him she had tried to get a time-turner from the Ministry, but they had all been destroyed. She also told him she didn’t believe a single word of that, and she was sure they’d stored at least one of the things away, but she couldn’t just go and ask for one, since they would ask for an explanation. Maybe Dumbledore had been able to just walk in and get one, no questions asked, but she wasn’t Dumbledore, so she had to go about the official ways, filling in all kinds of forms. Not that it mattered. The Ministry insisted all time-turners were eviscerated from the face of earth.</p><p>It would take some time, she’d said, to obtain a time-turning in some other way, and she had asked Jonas if he had some contacts in France or the Netherlands. The fact that the Ministry of Magic in Britain had destroyed all time-turners, didn’t necessarily mean other countries had disposed of the things as well, she had said.<br/>
Well, that explained why she had decided to tell him the truth, Jonas had thought to himself, but of course he agreed to try and help her, promising he would send out some owls. He wasn’t sure, however, if he had the same kind of influence on his Ministries, since he had left both of those countries. He could always try, though.</p><p>Hermione had been pleased to hear at least they had a plan. </p><p>When they got back to the apprentice’s quarters, Hermione made a beeline for the shared bedroom. She explained her side of the story, and apologised. Severus had accepted the apology, though a bit begrudgingly. At least she did say she was sorry, Lily would never have done that, he thought.</p><p>Over the course of the next few days, Severus and Hermione went back to their civil treatment with each other. Sure, a snarky comment was made every now and then, but all things considered they got along pretty well again.<br/>
Though an unusual duo, if they hadn’t been a witch and wizard who once were student and professor, the latter being dead, you almost could’ve labeled them as bantering friends.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I really like Jonas. He's a good man :)</p><p>I initially planned on ending the chapter with Hermione storming off, but I couldn't keep it unfinished like that, so I added the last parts to end with a peaceful ending. I also took the liberty to clear up how they were planning to get Severus back. </p><p>Till the next one!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter five - Avis</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hermione and Severus have a duel. McGonagall and Dumbledore have a plan. Jonas is just there.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter five - Avis</h1><p>“Ready?” Hermione asked.</p><p>Severus nodded once. He was born ready.</p><p>“<em>Petrificus Totalus</em>!” Hermione shouted, her wand trained at Severus.</p><p>“<em>Flippendo</em>!” Severus hissed, pointing his own wand at the witch.</p><p>A white flash met a red streak. </p><p>It was the ninth day of Severus' stay in 1999. He had been summoned by McGonagall to go through his memory of the day he had arrived one more time, making him so pissed off, Hermione had proposed to do a bit of sparring. To blow off steam, she had said. She didn’t buy Severus' story that the Headmistress wanted to go over his memory again. She was sure his meeting had something to do with Severus’ situation at home and his parents, though she hadn’t confronted the boy with her suspicion. He hadn’t mentioned his parents to her again, so she assumed he didn’t want to talk about it.<br/>
Severus had liked the idea of doing a bit of wandwork since he didn’t have to protect himself against the Marauders every day anymore. He could use the practise, and he was under the impression the girl could put up a decent fight after seeing her hexing and cursing innocent objects in the lab several times when her experiments wouldn’t work out like she had hoped.</p><p>This was why they were in the Room of Requirement, which had turned into a large hall for the purpose of their little exercise, standing on opposites of the room, wands drawn and trained at one another. They had agreed to using only relatively harmless spells, something Hermione had come up with, 'cause she had no doubt even this seventeen year old version of Severus Snape knew more dark hexes and curses than she could count.<br/>
Hadn’t Sirius once said Snape had known even more curses than the seventh years when he first got to Hogwarts? And apart from that, Severus had mentioned he was wondering how his friends Tom and Lucius were doing in 1999 the day before, and there was no way he hadn’t been talking about Tom Riddle and Lucius Malfoy. </p><p>It shouldn't have surprised her that he'd been in touch with Voldemort and Lucius already, but still, she couldn’t quite comprehend that the boy she had spent the last few days with harboured enough dark feelings to eventually join the Dark Lord’s ranks. Or maybe he already had at that point, she hadn’t seen his left forearm after all. But no, it just didn’t make sense to her.<br/>
This was the boy who had made her breakfast, cooked her dinner, got hurt by the mere thought of her ignoring him.<br/>
When she'd told Jonas and McGonagall of Severus’ friends, they'd both assured her that it was how time had happened before even if she hadn’t been aware of it, and it was how time should happen now. They made her promise she wouldn’t interfere, that she wouldn’t persuade Severus to rethink his so-called friendships with the Dark wizards.</p><p> </p><p>Hermione wasted no time, firing one jinx after the other at Severus, but the wizard stayed calm, merely shielding himself using Protego or reflecting them using a Backfiring Jinx. Flashes and streaks of light, deep red, shiny blue and bright yellow, flew back and forth. The sound of their spells being blocked or crashing into walls and furniture was accompanied by the sound of slight panting, which was, much to Hermione’s chagrin, mostly, if not only, coming from her. </p><p>“<em>Tarantallegra!</em>” Hermione yelled.</p><p>Severus stepped aside, making Hermione think he would just let the spell pass him, but at the last second when the streak of light was about to fly past him, he waved his wand without opening his mouth, firing her Dancing Feet spell right back at her.<br/>
Within two seconds, Hermione’s legs started dancing uncontrollably. She had trouble pointing her wand at her moving feet to undo the spell, but luckily Severus was so galant to pause for a moment as she had to try a few times before succeeding. When she’d finally managed to lift the jinx, he even waited a few seconds so she could catch her breath, only pointing his wand at her again, when she did the same first, indicating she was ready.</p><p>Soon flashes of spells filled the room again, now with even more force than before. The short pause had caused them to up their game.<br/>
Both Hermione and Severus had to jump to the side multiple times to dodge the other’s spells.</p><p>“<em>Avis</em>!” Hermione said, conjuring a flock of birds, before she sent them at Severus’ head, shouting, “<em>Oppugno</em>!”</p><p>Severus had to dive to the side in order to keep the birds from attacking his face. Unable to change their course in time, they crashed into the wall behind him instead, dissolving on the spot.<br/>
Hermione, however, used the moment to fire another spell while she thought Severus was still distracted. She didn’t point her wand at him, though, but at a wardrobe on her right, Severus’ left, halfway down the room.</p><p>“<em>Alohomora</em>!” she said, opening the large mahogany cabinet. </p><p>One of the mechanical dummies they had used during the DA sessions appeared. Rolling on its single wheel, it multiplied till there were four of them, approaching Severus at an alarming rate.</p><p>When they were only about four feet away from him, he lifted his wand, and in quick succession, the first one shrinked till it was as small as a peanut, the second turned to stone, the third just disappeared, and the fourth got blasted into bits.</p><p>It went so fast, Hermione didn’t even see his arm moving, nor did she hear him utter one single vowel. He had done all of that non-verbally. Merlin, she had to up her game if she wanted to win.</p><p>She saw him looking at her, a smug smirk on his face. </p><p>“Is that all you got, witch?” he said. “A few dummies to distract me, and you think you can win?” He hadn’t even raised his voice, but she could hear him clearly from across the large hall.</p><p>“You haven’t seen half of it, wizard,” she yelled back as she threw another jinx at him. </p><p>“Really?” he countered the spell, but she parried it. “'cause so far I’m not even trying.”</p><p>“You can try all you want, you’re not going to win,” Hermione said, waving her wand again. A red streak flew with high speed across the room.</p><p>“And yet, I don’t exactly see you winning either,” he drawled, lifting his wand, blocking Hermione’s Stinging hex with ease. A red flash lightened up his face, making his dark eyes glitter.</p><p>Hermione cursed under her breath. Damn, the boy was good.</p><p>o0o</p><p>So far Hermione had been the one on offense, but she didn’t know that it was only because Severus had <em>let</em> her take the lead. He had been waiting to see what the witch had up her sleeve. Now her strategy was clear to him. She would try and distract him before casting a hex at him. Well, she could try, he thought. It was time to let her see what he could do. He hadn’t been duelling Potter and his friends all that time without learning something from it in the process. Tom and Lucius had taught him some things as well, but he wouldn’t use that against her; those spells were for enemies. He had promised he wouldn’t use any harmful spells after all. </p><p>Deflecting yet another one of her attempts to distract him, he began to circle her, taking small steps, staying low, knees bent, like a predator.</p><p>The chair she hurled at him using the Levitation Charm he turned into a flock of birds of his own. They were all black ravens. At his command, the birds zeroed in on her, but refrained from touching her, flying around her head, disorientating her. </p><p>Squealing, Hermione tried to fight them off, but as soon as she managed to slap one away from her, the others would close in. She spun on her heels, shook her head, used her wand to spray them with water, but they just kept coming.</p><p>He kept circling the girl, talking in her ear from a distance, using his ravens to deliver his words. Their beaks chattered while his low and deep voice poured out of them.</p><p>“This is how you conjure and control a couple of birds, witch,” he said. “Have you got enough already?”</p><p><em>Finish her!</em> A voice in the back of his head hissed. It sounded an awful lot like Tom.</p><p>He heard her shriek, “Yes, stop it, Severus, you win!”</p><p>“No, it’s not going to be that easy for you,” he whispered. “You really hurt me the other day, you know. I thought you were ignoring me, didn’t want to talk to me, felt better than me.”</p><p>“That was never my intention!” he heard Hermione cry out. “And I apologised!”</p><p><em>Do it! Take her down, or out, I don’t care. Do it!</em> the voice said. Severus ignored it.</p><p>“Yes, you did,” said one of the ravens, before another said, “and I accepted your apology, but simply apologising doesn’t take away the pain.”</p><p>The witch kept silent. Tom’s voice, however, kept distracting him. <em>She hurt you, you can hurt her!</em> Severus shook his head.</p><p>“Do you know why it hurt so much to think you were ignoring me, witch?” His voice came out as a deep rumble.</p><p>He searched her face through the blur of black feathers. Earlier it had shown shock, maybe even a bit of fear and irritation, but she had calmed somewhat. Of course the birds flying around her didn’t help her situation, but she seemed intent to listen to what he had to say.</p><p>“It wasn’t just the ignoring, you know,” he continued. “It felt like you were going back on your word, again. Like you didn’t want to help me anymore. Like you were abandoning me. Only 'cause I made a few comments. I don’t like feeling abandoned.”</p><p>And with that the birds turned away from her, speeding towards Severus himself, the sight of which made Hermione gasp. It all happened so fast.<br/>
The birds seemed to have turned against their conjurer, determined to attack him. They didn’t, though. Just before they reached him, they formed one black mass, hiding Severus from view for a second, and just a second. 'Cause after that second, the birds disappeared at once, as did Severus, though the black mass stayed. It swiveled and swirled a split-second before it seemed to focus on her, and the blur came directly at her.</p><p>Hermione shrieked and lifted her wand at the black streak, but even if she had been fast enough, which she wasn’t, she couldn’t have stopped it. It was in her face before she knew it, but it never actually touched her. Instead, the moment she thought it would and she was about to close her eyes, Severus materialised in front of her, the black blur vanished as he did so.</p><p>He just stood in front of her, a mere inch between them, looking down at her to meet her eyes, his black ones piercing her brown ones, his feet together, hands clasped behind his back. His brow was furrowed and his cheeks showed a bit of a pink hue.<br/>
Their bodies were almost touching, but he actually kept his distance. Gazing up at him, Hermione swallowed, and not only because of his display of magical power, he was really close. She could almost feel his body heat radiating off him.</p><p>“You hurt me,” he said softly, his voice almost a whisper. Tom’s voice was gone now.</p><p>“I know,” Hermione said back in an equally soft tone. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“I know,” Severus repeated, inclining his head slightly. </p><p>She could see the pain in his eyes now.</p><p>“Don’t do it again,” he said, but making the order sound like a plea.</p><p>“I won’t. I promise. I won’t abandon you.,” Hermione said, looking into those hard, pained, black tunnels.</p><p>“Good.” His eyes turned soft again.</p><p>After studying her face for a few more seconds, he turned on the spot and walked away. Before he left, he wandlessly and nonverbally Disillusioned himself, leaving Hermione to stare at nothing as he swept out of the Room.</p><p>o0o</p><p>Hermione let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding.</p><p>If she’d thought he had been intense as a Professor, this young Severus Snape was certainly something else. She couldn’t decide on hoping McGonagall would hurry finding a way to send him back, or hoping it would take her weeks, so she could learn more about the taciturn boy. This was her only shot at getting to know Severus Snape, and she would do just about anything in order to do so.</p><p>Wait a second, she then thought. He had been able to fly? Actually fly? Well, she knew he could, of course, he had been chasing the Order back when they had moved Harry from the Dursley’s to the Burrow. But she had always assumed he had learned that somewhere during his years as a spy, not so early on.<br/>
Maybe Voldemort, or Tom Riddle as Severus apparently still knew him, had taught him the skill of flying to persuade him to join his ranks. Anyway, she thought McGonagall would want to know about this. It wasn’t as if Hermione was afraid of this teenager version of Snape, but if he was already able to perform such Dark Magic, she wasn’t sure if it was safe to keep him confined and hidden away like this.<br/>
He hadn’t exactly complained about his situation yet, but after his meeting with the Headmistress earlier that day, he had been thoroughly pissed off. Imagine what damage he could do if he got enough. You couldn’t keep a Dragon in a cage for too long, what would happen if they kept Severus locked away for weeks, months maybe? He wasn’t a dragon, but he had the potential to be equally dangerous, emotional as he was.<br/>
And what if he hurt someone, by accident or not? Would it sit on his conscience? Would that change his view on magic, would he be abhorred by his powers, or would he be proud and more determined to use them? </p><p><em>Well, it can’t hurt to just go and see McGonagall</em>, Hermione thought. In the worst case, she would do nothing, saying it didn’t matter. Maybe she would tell her about her progress since Hermione hadn’t actually heard from the Headmistress since the day she’d run into Severus in the Entrance Hall. The only information she had concerning Severus’ inevitable departure came from Jonas, and he had been kind of vague, too. He had told her he was supposed to send an owl to the French and Dutch Ministry of Magic to find out if they had a time-turner they were willing to lend them, and even Jonas wasn’t sure they would be willing, even if they had them.</p><p>o0o</p><p>“Professor, thank you for meeting me,” Hermione said to the Headmistress while sitting down.</p><p>“Of course, my dear. You know I’m always here for you. Now, what is so important you have to see both of us?” McGonagall said with a nod towards Jonas who was already sitting in the other chair.</p><p>Deciding she should just come right out and say it, Hermione said, “Severus can fly.”</p><p>“Yes, we already know he can,” Mcgonagall said, while at the same time Jonas asked, “What do you mean ‘fly’?”</p><p>Hermione gestured at the Headmistress, indicating she should explain.</p><p>“Jonas, I’m sure you read and heard a lot about Severus Snape. However, this isn’t something that’s widely known. The man could fly, without the use of a broom, that is. Filius and I saw it ourselves. No doubt it was a trick his master taught him.”</p><p>“Yes,” Hermione added after confirming the Professor was finished, “except apparently it isn’t something only the adult version of Severus Snape could do.”</p><p>“What do you mean, Hermione?” Jonas asked. McGonagall frowned at her, a knowing look in her stern eyes. </p><p>“I saw him do it. He flew right at me,” Hermione replied.</p><p>McGonagall gasped, her eyes flew wide open. Jonas just turned in his chair to look at his apprentice directly.</p><p>“Did he hurt you?” he asked gently but firmly.</p><p>Hermione shook her head. “No, he didn’t. We were just dueling for fun a bit, to blow off some steam. He was rather… er… emotional after his meeting with you, Headmistress. We used the Room of Requirement as our practise area, nothing dangerous happened. He didn’t even go on offense much, I did. But he conjured some ravens, and then I couldn’t really see what was happening, 'cause they kept circling me, blocking my view, you know. And then, suddenly they were gone, but Severus was gone as well! Well, not gone, but he formed some kind of black blur, and next thing I know he was right in front of me. He said he was hurt.”</p><p>Hermione was babbling by now, really allowing herself to feel the intensity of the event just then and there.</p><p>Jonas took one of her hands in his.</p><p>“I’m sure that must have been overwhelming,” he said softly.</p><p>“Hermione, I don’t doubt Severus is able to perform some dark, by a lack of a better word, magic, even at this age, and I have to admit I really underestimated his abilities as a student, but I don’t see how this changes the situation,” the Headmistress said soberly, but not unkindly. It was just how Hermione remembered her former Head of House to be.</p><p>“No, I don’t think it does, but I was thinking…” Hermione’s voice ebbed away as she got lost in thought.</p><p>Jonas and McGonagall shared a look. They both knew how the young witch could get caught up in her thoughts when theorising. </p><p>“You were thinking...” Jonas urged his apprentice on, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.</p><p>“Oh yes, Well, you don’t keep dragons locked up in a cage for too long, right? And we don’t know for how long Severus is going to be here. During that time he has to stay hidden, locked away.”</p><p>She stopped, flitting her eyes between both her mentors before continuing.</p><p>“I’m not saying Severus is as volatile as a dragon, but I don’t think it’s wise to confine him like this. He hasn’t been complaining till now, but imagine what he could do if he got enough.”</p><p>Jonas let go of her hand, leaning back in his chair, contemplating. He didn’t know enough of the boy to predict his actions, but he could see how he could pose a danger, a small one maybe.<br/>
The Headmistress seemed to have her own difficulties taking in Hermione’s words. She kept nodding her head mutely.</p><p>“If I may,” a voice said from behind her. It was the painting of Professor Dumbledore. He had been dozing in his chair, but of course he’d only been pretending to be asleep.</p><p>“Albus,” McGonagall greeted him while Jonas nodded at him and Hermione gave him a small, awkward wave. </p><p>“Miss Granger, you are right,” the former Headmaster said, cutting to the chase. “We can’t keep Severus locked away for much longer. He won’t complain, I’m sure, he’s too stubborn and proud to object verbally, and he knows he has to stay hidden, but he will act out if this keeps going for too long.”</p><p>“‘Act out’, what do you mean, Headmaster,” Jonas asked. “Will he pose a threat to Miss Granger’s safety?” The more he heard about this Severus Snape, the less he liked the idea of his apprentice sharing her quarters and almost all of her time with the boy. The stories about Severus Snape the spy all told him he had been a calculated and focused man, but even then he had been impatient. What would happen if this hormonal teenager got impatient?<br/>
“Severus is known to be a bit short-tempered,” the painting said, at which McGonagall snorted loudly. </p><p>“That’s putting it mildly,” she muttered.</p><p>Dumbledore’s eyes seemed to light up for a second, but he continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted.</p><p>“I don’t think he’ll hurt others on purpose at this point, not if they don’t hurt them first.” He gave Hermione a knowing look. “But we all know what happens when young people keep too much to themselves. It’s similar to how children before the age of eleven can display outbursts of magic when their emotions get the better of them. I don’t think Severus will actively try to defy us, he’s still a student and knows what’s best for him, but maybe his magic will.”</p><p>Jonas pinched the bridge of his nose.</p><p> “So he’s a danger?” he asked, sounding tired. Why had every Headmaster he had worked with the tendency of prolonging answers . Just get to the point, he thought. If the Headmistress had been Dutch she would’ve just come right out and say what was needed.</p><p>“No, I don’t believe he is, not to Miss Granger anyway,” the Headmaster said, giving Hermione another look before he turned to McGonagall. “We have talked about this, my dear. I believe it is the only way now.”</p><p>Hermione frowned. Why was Dumbledore looking at her like that?</p><p> “What are you talking about, Professor?” she asked the painting.</p><p>Dumbledore went to answer her, but the Headmistress beat him to it. “I’m sure Jonas told you about the time-turners?”</p><p>Hermione nodded, glancing at Jonas who only inclined his head.</p><p>“We may have to take action if Jonas’ Ministries take too long to answer our owls, and Kingley keeps saying he can’t help us, though I highly doubt it. ” McGonagall went on.</p><p>“You mean we have to go to France and the Netherlands,” Hermione said, glossing over the fact her Headmistress just flat out prompted the go around the Minister of Magic himself.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Why aren’t we already there then? If that’s what it takes?” It wasn’t as if Hermione wanted to get rid of Severus as soon as possible but she understood his visit in 1999 was very time-sensitive.</p><p>“Because we don’t actually know France or the Netherlands are in possession of a time-turner. Albus believes there is a good chance the Dutch have at least one, since their country wasn’t influenced by our war, while France had quite a lot of pure-blood supremacists. We think France followed our example and destroyed all of their time-turners, afraid someone might use them to bring back Lord Voldemort. The Netherlands probably didn’t need to take that precaution, so they might have a time-turner we can use, but we don’t know anything for sure,” the Headmistress explained. “And we can’t go and march in there without raising questions.”</p><p>“And how does this help Severus?” Hermione asked apprehensively. She had a feeling what was coming now.</p><p>“If, <em>if</em> we require Jonas to visit his Ministries, he will take you two with him. We’ll tell the Ministries he’s doing research about a potion that’s supposed to imitate some of the effects of a time-turner temporarily, but he has to use a time-turner to test his theory. That way we’ll know if they actually have one, and if they’re willing to let us use it.”</p><p>Hermione turned her head to look at her Potions Master. He nodded at her, smiling softly. Apparently he was already informed.</p><p>“That’s actually really clever,” Hermione said. </p><p>Jonas put his hands up in the air. “It was all them, I’m afraid.”</p><p>“But, Professors,” Hermione began, turning back to the Headmistress and Headmaster. “Where do Severus and I come into all of this?”</p><p>“Well, for one, it is a good opportunity for Severus and yourself to get out of the castle for a while, and aside from that, if you manage to obtain a time-turner, you can use it immediately. I don’t think the French and the Dutch are too keen on seeing their time-turner leave the country, assuming they have one.”</p><p>Hermione thought about this for a moment. It sounded like a good plan. She decided it wasn’t worth mentioning she actually got plenty of time to leave Hogwarts, but didn’t use them because she wanted to stay close to Severus in order to get to know him. After he’d be gone, she would have all the time in the world to catch up with her friends. She only hoped they’d understand once she explained it to them. Ginny would, as would Neville and Luna, Harry and Ron probably not so much.<br/>
Well, this was more important than a might-happen argue-session, this situation with Severus had the potential to ruin history and therefore the present itself, fighting with Harry and Ron did not. Even if she told them now, they would end up being angry with her anyway, so she decided that that particular confrontation could wait. </p><p>Gods, she hoped Ron would understand and that it wouldn’t drive them apart. But then again, after she had told him she would be unavailable for the unforeseeable future due to her research, and that she would be in touch with him as soon as she’d see fit, he hadn’t tried once to see her or to speak with her. He hadn’t even sent an owl, and Hermione seriously doubted he hadn’t because he was being thoughtful.</p><p>Merlin, how did I get here so fast, she thought to herself. Maybe I do have to talk to him, 'cause if I have doubts about us, he has the right to know.</p><p>A little coughing sound pulled her from her thoughts, and she looked up to see her professors, including the painting of Dumbledore, were still waiting for her reaction.</p><p>“So,” she said, more than a little awkwardly, “when will we leave for the Netherlands?”</p><p>The three professors all looked at her. Jonas’ face clearly displayed his concern for her and this situation, McGonagall nodded at her in empathy, but Dumbledore kept looking like he knew something she didn’t. Well, of course he knew things she didn’t know, he had been Hogwarts’ Headmaster and was more than a hundred years old, but this wasn’t one of those things. This thing was about her, she could feel it.</p><p>“You won’t,” McGonagall said after a while. “Not until we hear back from the Ministries.”</p><p>Hermione frowned. “But you said we couldn’t afford to wait till we get a response.”</p><p>“Miss Granger,” Jonas said to her, using her last name for they were in the presence of the Headmistress. “I sent out those owls only a few days back. We have to at least give them a chance to reply. It’s bad form to show up unannounced after you’ve sent an owl. It shows impatience, like you expect them to drop everything on your call.”</p><p>“Oh, that makes sense, actually,” Hermione said with a small voice. She hadn’t thought about that because she was so busy thinking about Severus and Ron. Oh no, she didn’t like that thought, either. Severus and Ron. Like they were equals. They weren’t. Severus was a visitor, a guest, someone she was more or less forced to spend her time with, while Ron was her boyfriend, someone she explicitly chose to spend her time with.<br/>
But she hadn’t lately, had she? She had chosen to spend her days in the dungeons or in the lab, with Severus, not at the Burrow or Grimmauld Place with Ron. Gods, was she really doubting her relationship with Ron because of Severus Snape. How did her life get like this?</p><p>“Jonas,” said McGonagall’s voice, which pulled Hermione from her thoughts again, “if you get back from either one of the Ministries, you have to depart immediately. Time is of the essence here. Just send me a message and I will take care of your duties at Hogwarts.”</p><p>Jonas nodded. “Of course, Headmistress.”</p><p>“Now, Hermione, I assume you went here immediately after your duelling exercise, but do you know where Severus went?” she continued.</p><p>“He’s scheduled to study for his Transfiguration NEWT, so he should’ve returned to the lab after he left the Room of Requirement,” Hermione replied. “I have a feeling he won’t be there, right?”</p><p>It was Dumbledore who answered. “No, if he was hurting, he will not. I believe you will find him down by the Lake. Go to him, Miss Granger, but don’t tell him about this trip yet, alright?”</p><p>“Yes, Professor, ” Hermione said, standing up. “Thank you for seeing me, Professor McGonagall, Professor Dumbledore.”</p><p>Then she addressed her Potions master. “Professor Bergen, will you stay for dinner tonight?”</p><p>“I will,” he nodded. “I’ll get take-out from Hogsmead tonight, so Severus doesn’t have to cook dinner. You can use the extra time to relax a bit, you’re researching and studying so much I would think you’ve forgotten how to relax, Hermione,” he said, deliberately using her first name.</p><p>“Thanks, Jonas,” she grinned at him before closing the door behind her to go and find Severus.</p><p>Meanwhile, Jonas looked at McGonagall who stared right back at him.</p><p>“You’re concerned,” she stated.</p><p>“Of course I am,” Jonas said sharply. “I just learned my apprentice is spending all of her time with someone capable of Dark Magic some of the most powerful witches and wizards can only dream about.” </p><p>“Severus Snape will be one of the most powerful wizards,” the Headmistress pointed out.</p><p>“Yes, but he doesn’t know that. He just knows how to bloody fly!”</p><p>“I know, I know,” McGonagall conceded. “I have to admit I didn’t know he could do that at such a young age. But when Albus says he believes the boy will not be a threat to Hermione or the other students, I’m willing to believe it, too.”</p><p>“You’re right. But it doesn’t make me like this even a bit more,” Jonas muttered.</p><p>“Nor should you,” McGonagall said. “Your concern for your students was the thing that convinced me that you were the man for the job. If you wouldn’t have shown the same care, I would never have considered hiring you. Merlin knew Hogwarts was in need of a caring Potions Professor. After Severus himself and that old goat Horace, we were in dire need of a teacher who actually showed he cared about the wellbeing of his students, and not just because they come with certain perks.” </p><p>Jonas had heard plenty of stories about Slughorn’s antics, only showing interest in his students when he believed he could profit from them in some way. And then there was his predecessor, who certainly wasn’t known for his interest in his students, although he had probably cared about them in his own way.</p><p>“Good to know my degree and research papers in Potions were of any contributing factors, that’s really comforting to know, thanks,” he said, though there was no real bite in his words.</p><p>“Maybe you and our former Potions Master are more alike than I thought,” the Headmistress countered before her voice turned soft. “Of course I appreciate your skills as a potioneer, Jonas, you know that. If I didn’t think you were every bit as good as Severus, I wouldn’t have hired you, either.”</p><p>Jonas stood up. “I know, Minerva, thank you.”</p><p>The Headmistress smiled warmly at him. </p><p> I’ll go now, I still have another class to teach this afternoon. Seventh years,” he said.</p><p>“Oh you would‘ve loved Severus’ rants about that “arrogant bunch of dunderheads, thinking they already know everything”,’ Minerva replied, also standing up.</p><p>Jonas snorted. “I’m sure.”</p><p>He went for the door but Dumbledore’s voice stopped him from leaving. </p><p>“Keep an eye out,” hehe said. “On both of them.”</p><p>“I will, Headmaster. I will.”</p><p>When he was gone, Minerva turned and leaned against her desk to gaze up at Albus’ painting.</p><p>“What are you planning, Albus?”</p><p>The old Headmaster smiled down at her, feigning innocence.</p><p>“What do you mean, dear?”</p><p>But Minerva wasn’t fooled, she had noticed his glances at her former charge, and she could tell by the twinkle in his eyes he was up to something.</p><p>“You know what I mean, Albus, don’t play dumb with me,” she said, crossing her arms. If he had still been alive, she would’ve swatted him on the arm, or whacked him on the head, she couldn’t tell.</p><p>“Hermione seems to have grown quite fond of Severus, is she not? She spoke rather passionately about our boy,” Albus said as he stood up from his chair and started pacing in front of it.</p><p>Minerva pursed her lips. “Hermione speaks passionately about everything she sets her mind to.”</p><p>Her comment seemed to go unnoticed.</p><p>“We have to keep an eye out for them. Severus tends to get quite attached to the people who show him kindness,” Albus went on.</p><p>“Oh I see,” was the only thing Minerva could utter. Of course Albus would think the young witch and wizard would end up falling in love. And while she couldn’t wrap her head about that possibility, Hermione had been Severus’ student after all, if the boy knew it or not, though she had a feeling he did know, she could see the problem it would create. If one of them did fall in love with the other, they probably wouldn’t even tell, but if the boy ended up having feelings for Hermione, it would mean the end of their world as they knew it.<br/>
It would mean he wouldn’t be thinking about Lily Potter all the time anymore, and that could lead to him not begging Albus for his life and turning to the Light.</p><p>“So what <em>are</em> you planning, Albus?” Minerva repeated.</p><p>“I’m not planning anything, my dear,” he said. “I’m just contemplating the fact we might have to ask Hermione to Obliviate her former teacher, a seventeen year old boy, in order to maintain peace.”</p><p>Minerva held back a gasp. “Why can’t we just get Jonas to do it, if it gets that far?”</p><p>“Severus won’t trust him enough to do it. If Jonas were to pull out his wand and point it at the boy, the lad would feel threatened, and then where would we be? If Severus falls in love with Hermione, he would trust her enough to perform a spell on him without telling him what kind of spell. Apparently they’ve already duelled, so it’s not even the first time.”</p><p>“And Obliviating him from a distance, from behind, so he won’t know he’s got a wand pointed at his head?” the Headmistress argued. It wasn’t good form to curse someone from behind, but good form wasn’t something that applied to this situation. Minerva didn’t like the idea of obliviating the boy at all, but certainly not the idea of getting Hermione to do so.<br/>
However, Albus had always acted in favour of the Greater Good no matter what, and would evidently go as far as plotting his own death.</p><p>“Obliviation is Unforgivable in France, I will not risk putting Jonas in prison if Hermione can perform the spell instead. There is a good chance she would do even better than Jonas, she has the experience.”</p><p>“Let’s just hope it doesn’t get that far,” Minerva said.</p><p>“We’ll see.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter six - Under the Birch Tree</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>There's a beautiful Silver Birch tree by the Great Lake.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter six - Under the Birch Tree</h1><p>While it was only mid-March, the sun clearly hadn’t gotten that memo, for its rays warmed the grounds of Hogwarts in a full blaze, as well as the people walking those grounds. </p><p>Hagrid was busy working at his pumpkin field while Fang chased a Gnome, as several groups of students sat in the grass, studying or relaxing. It was a beautiful afternoon, and those who had a free period had obviously planned to make the most of it.</p><p>Two Ravenclaws and a Slytherin, all first years, were throwing rocks in the Great Lake. They’d giggle and point to the Lake when a large tentacle would emerge from the water and throw the pebbles right back at the shore. </p><p>Severus was standing at the far right of the pebbled beach. He was still Disillusioned, but he didn’t even need to be, 'cause he was standing in the shadow of a huge Silver Birch, hidden from view. With his back against the tree, his arms crossed over his chest and his head tilted slightly to the left, he watched with amusement as one of the two Ravenclaws fell over in his enthusiasm.<br/>
The boy, who had so many freckles you’d think they came for free with the Chocolate Frogs instead of the little cards, shrieked happily as he landed on his bum. The Giant Squid had created a wall of water with its tentacles, and sent it to the shore, successfully soaking the kids. The boy’s peers laughed heartily at his clumsiness, and helped him up before they went back to the castle to dry off. They didn’t know any drying spells yet.</p><p>Why he was here, standing by the Lake, Severus didn’t know. He had headed to the lab after he’d left the Room of Requirement, but somehow his feet hadn’t agreed with his intent. It was the second time in two weeks his legs had brought him somewhere without his specific command, the first time resulting in him ending up twenty-one years into the future. At least this time he only ended up by the Great Lake.</p><p>It hadn’t been the first time, though, that he had been standing under that Birch tree. It had been his refuge whenever the world became a little too much for the past two years at Hogwarts, ever since the Marauders had found and harrassed him at his former spot, under the willow.<br/>
Here, in the shadow of the tree, hidden away from prying and cruel eyes, he could finally take a breath, listening to the sound of the water lapping at the shore.<br/>
Water always calmed him. It was a steady element, soft and nursing, but when manipulated it could easily destroy anything in its path. Back home, if he needed to be alone, he would sit by the river which was polluted by the town’s factory and people who carelessly threw their trash at the banks. In fact, it was so dirty that kids wouldn’t chase him there, and adults wouldn’t even think to look for him by that river. The stench of trash and dead animals was horrible, but Severus could do what others couldn’t; he would just perform an air cleansing charm around himself and all was good.<br/>
The river in Cokeworth had sheltered him many summers; this Birch tree had done the same for him for many months, many seasons. He would just sit and watch the water, thinking about his life, or just life in general.</p><p>Now, he was thinking about Hermione, or rather trying not to think about her. He’d only known her for nine days now, though he suspected she had known him for years and years. Well, not him, but his future self.<br/>
He didn’t know what had possessed him to show her his flying ability. After Tom had taught him, he had made him promise to keep his new learned skill a secret. Only with Tom’s specific permission he was allowed to use it. Well, this kind of thing didn’t work with take-backs, he thought somberly.</p><p>He had let his emotions get the better of him and that wasn’t something he had allowed to happen to himself for well over a year. As a kid he would yell, scream, and throw hexes at anyone and anything in reach if he felt frustrated, angry or cornered, but Lucius and Tom had taught him how to control his emotions. They had shown him you could achieve much more if you were in control of yourself. Lashing out would only cause people to not take you seriously. It was childish, they’d said.<br/>
He had also developed thicker skin, or at least learned how to ignore the constant jabs and jibes. The taunting comments from the Marauders, or anyone for that matter, would still hurt him, but he would pretend to just shrug it off instead of flying off the handle, getting himself in even more trouble. And above that, it wasn’t as if he wasn’t <em>expecting</em> Potter, Black and almost everyone else to say cruel things to him, or about him when they thought he wouldn’t hear.</p><p>Maybe that was what had caused him to react the way he had. With Hermione he felt relatively safe. He didn’t feel safe with anyone, not the full hundred percent, but with the girl, he felt like he could at least relax a bit, maybe even a good sixty percent. There was no need to wear his emotional mask all the time, not with her, not away from his actual life back in 1978. If he acted out, it wouldn’t matter, he wouldn’t be here for much longer.<br/>
But what surprised him was the fact that if he did act out, said something mean to her, she didn’t seem to mind so much. Oh, she <em>did</em> mind, he corrected himself, but his words didn’t seem to hurt her as much as he thought they would. In his self-destructive way, he hadn’t been able to push her away completely. She would only shout at him, call him names, threaten to withdraw her help, but she hadn’t actually abandoned him. Not like Lily had.<br/>
So maybe, that was why he reacted like that. He had let his walls down, had outed his capability of flying, had shown her his emotions. He did it because, with her, he could.</p><p>His inner mullings got interrupted when some movement on his left caught his attention. He didn’t have to turn his head to see someone approaching his hiding spot from the corner of his eye. It was Hermione. Did she know he was there? Given the fact he was still Disillusioned, he doubted she had spotted him, but maybe someone had told her about his hiding spot.<br/>
He’d been standing there for quite a while, and while he didn’t know what the girl had been doing during that hour or so, he had little doubts she hadn’t spoken with the Headmistress, or at least Bergen. The stern Scot had probably told Hermione where she could find him, or on second thought, no she hadn’t, her painting had, Headmaster Dumbledore would be the kind of person to know about his hiding place and tell the girl about it. The Headmaster had never had any regard for Severus’ feelings, that much was clear to him ever since that ‘prank’ with the werewolf.</p><p>His suspicion the girl knew where to find him got confirmed when Hermione walked right up to the tree, but to his surprise she stopped on the other side of the trunk and leaned against it. Hearing her sigh, he knew she just made that sound indicate she knew he was there. It made the corner of his lip quirk slightly. If she thought he would be the first to speak, she was mistaken.<br/>
They were standing there for a good ten minutes, both completely silent after that initial sigh from Hermione. Severus could almost hear the cogs and wires buzzing about inside the girl’s head. He didn’t need Tom’s skill of Legilimency to know she was most likely thinking about a way to initiate a conversation. </p><p>“I wouldn’t abandon you, you know,” Hermione’s voice said from the other side of the tree after a while. She had Disillusioned herself as well, in case anyone saw her talking to a tree from a distance.</p><p>Severus didn’t reply.</p><p>“I know you’re kind of lonely. I would never intentionally hurt you like that,” she continued.</p><p>She said she knew eh? No chance. Even if Hermione knew him as an adult, there was no chance she truly knew how utterly lonely his life was. Next to no affection from his mother, Merlin, forget his father, no friends except Lily, and even she had abandoned him in the end. 'Cause he said one word to her. One word had made her forget all those times he had been there for her when she cried because of her cruel sister, all the times he had made her laugh, all the times they had made fun of Potter together.</p><p>“You don’t know anything about me,” he said flatly, making his presence officially known to her. He kept his Disillusionment Charm in place, though, in case someone would throw a glance at their spot and accidentally see him.<br/>
How dare she say he was lonely. It was true of course, not that he was going to admit that, but how the hell did she know that.</p><p>“But I do,” the girl said softly. “I know you know I’ve met your future self. I know you.”</p><p>“I’m going to be your professor, am I right? There’s no way we actually <em>know</em> each other,” he countered.</p><p>
  He heard her shift against the bark, so he assumed she had turned to look at his side of the tree. “But I <em>do</em> know you.” 
</p><p>
 Although they couldn’t see each other, he could definitely feel her gaze on him.
</p><p>
  “How?” he asked.
</p><p>
  “I can’t say.”
</p><p>
  “Oh that’s just brilliant,” he muttered.
</p><p>
  “I’m sorry. I want to tell you. You’re my friend.”
</p><p>
  “Are you friends with me now?” he questioned. He didn’t need to specify he meant his future self.
</p><p>
  “No, I’m afraid not,” she answered. Severus didn’t fail to notice she sounded sad. He didn’t have to see her face to know it would display that same sadness, that grief he had seen on her face before.
</p><p>
  “Why do you want to be friends with me now?” he asked.
</p><p>
  “Because you’re you.” It sounded like she was stating someone’s time of death.
</p><p>
 <em>That’s not comforting at all</em>, Severus thought to himself. He was angry all the time, frustrated, his sharp tongue tending to push people away with its cruel remarks without him knowing what he said. He wasn’t the type of person to befriend. Something must have happened between him and the girl at some point in his future.
</p><p>
  “You’re my friend, too,” he admitted after standing in silence for a while. He felt his cheeks redden at his admission not only to her, but to himself. This was the first real friend he had since Lily. There were no strings attached, no ulterior motives, they were just friends. At first they had been forced to spend their time together, but apparently he hadn’t been the only one to enjoy the other’s company. 
</p><p>
  o0o
</p><p>
“You’re my friend, too,” she heard him say. It was almost a whisper, but she knew she hadn’t imagined it. He thought of her as a friend! 
</p><p>
  Holding back a squeak of excitement, she did the next best thing she could think of to show him her friendship. She stepped around the tree and reached with her hand. They were both still invisible, but her hand made contact with skin. It was Severus’ hand.<br/>
She covered his large hand with her small one, but he flinched away at the contact. Dropping her hand to her side, she inclined her head, staring at the grass as she felt the blood rush to her cheeks. She had overstepped his boundaries. 
</p><p>
  Then she felt something touching her hand again. She didn’t need to see him to know this was Severus’ way of holding out the proverbial olive branch. Still looking down she felt him taking her hand in his, though a bit cautiously. She gave his hand a little squeeze, indicating his gesture was a welcome one. After a few seconds, she got a squeeze in return. 
</p><p>
“Friends.” the squeeze said.
</p><p>
She flexed her fingers in his hand.
</p><p>
 “Friends.” she told him.
</p><p>
 They stood by the Lake for another fifteen minutes before they returned to the castle. No words had been exchanged after their officially established friendship. 
</p><p>
  Back in the dungeons, Severus went immediately to the kitchen after he had lifted the Disillusionment charm on the both of them, but Hermione stopped him.
</p><p>
  “Jonas is coming for dinner tonight. He’s bringing food,” she said.
</p><p>
 “Right.”
</p><p>
 “He’ll be here at seven, I think. He had his seventh years this afternoon, so he has to clean their mess first, and then he has to pick up our dinner at Hogsmeade,” she explained.
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Then I’ll make some tea,” Severus offered. “The usual?”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Hermione nodded and took her spot at the sofa, sitting with her legs crossed, she waited till Severus placed a tray on the coffee table and handed her her mug with Jasmine.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Thanks,” she said at which he simply nodded.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>They sat in silence for a while, Hermione blowing cool air on the surface of her steaming tea, Severus already sipping his brew. </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“What are you drinking?” she asked him after he’d taken a third sip.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Tea,” was his answer.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>She rolled her eyes. “I mean what kind of tea. It smells funny.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“It’s called Lapsang Souchong. It’s Chinese,” he said.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“And why does it smell funny?” Hermione questioned.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“They dry the leaves over pinewood fires. It makes for a smokey pine smell. It’s in the flavour as well.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Hermione made a face. “How can you like that? Tea is supposed to be sweet, not smoky. It’s not Firewhiskey.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Do you want to taste it?”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Hermione shrugged. She didn’t know if she wanted anything smokey on her taste buds, but Severus wouldn’t have any of that. He held out his mug in her direction, urging her to take a sip from it.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“I won’t have you criticising my choice of brew if you’ve never tasted it. Try it, witch,” he said.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Hermione sighed, but placed her mug back on the table before she took his mug from him and took a small sip. The taste, though it wouldn’t have been her cup of tea, pun intended, would have been fine, but she hand't anticipated how hot it was.  How was Severus able to drink it already?! The liquid scorched her tongue, making her yelp while she involuntarily jerked with her arm. </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Hot tea spilled all over her, soaking her with almost boiling hot water. Tears sprang to her eyes as Severus rushed to her, falling to his knees, and took the now nearly empty mug from her. Her clothes were drenched, the liquid causing the cotton to stick to her skin. On her arms, blisters were already beginning to form. Her skin underneath her clothes felt like she was on fire. </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Severus, please!” she ground out through gritted teeth.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>The wizard pulled out his wand and waved it over her in a circular motion.<br/>
Slowly the scalding hot liquid was siphoned out of Hermione clothes. Severus continued his wand work till Hermione’s clothes were fully dry again, and they didn’t stick to her skin anymore, though there were still a few spots at which the garments were still adhered to her body, her skin and the cloth fused as one.<br/>
Hermione moaned in pain but sighed in relief as the boy cast a cooling charm on her skin. It didn’t heal the blisters on her arms, for they needed burn-healing paste to completely soothe the bubbles, but at least it didn’t feel like her limbs were going to explode.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Relieved enough to the point she could think straight again, Hermione put her hand on Severus’ shoulder who was still frantically trying to heal and comfort her. </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
 “It’s going to be alright, Hermione,” he kept saying over and over, his voice low and soothing.
</p><p>
  “Severus, I’m okay now,” she told him, meeting his eyes.
</p><p>
  “No, you’re not! Your clothes are still fused to your skin, I can’t get them off!”
</p><p>
Despite the pain Hermione had to laugh, or perhaps it was <em>because of</em> the pain; the shock that needed to escape. She couldn’t help it, it was a full blown laugh. 
</p><p>
  “You want to get my clothes off?” she hiccuped as the boy’s eyes widened in alarm.
</p><p>
“Relax, wizard, I’m kidding. I’m alright. They’re only burns, I’ve had worse,” Hermione said to  him.
</p><p>
  Severus looked confused. “But you were crying, you were in great pain.”
</p><p>
  She squeezed his shoulder. “I’m fine. It was mostly shock. I’m going to stand up now.”
</p><p>
“Are you sure? I can help you,” Severus said warily.
</p><p>
  “Yes, I’m sure, but thank you for your concern. It’s sweet of you,” Hermione said, letting go of his shoulder and standing up.
</p><p>
  She had a burn-healing paste in the kitchen, plus she needed to get away from Severus’ piercing scrutiny. The boy was indeed very sweet the way he’d reacted, but his intensity was too much. There was still the image of the dying professor with a gaping hole in his neck, blood soaking both their clothes, as she tried to stem the flow. Just now their roles had been reversed with him attending to her injuries, though they were nowhere near the extreme wounds he had suffered. But then again, he had died, she had not. He had died, it echoed through her head.
</p><p>
  Shaking her head, she walked to the kitchen to retrieve the paste. As she moved her clothing pulled on her skin where it was fused together, and she winced.
</p><p>
  In an instant Severus was at her side, his wand drawn.
</p><p>
  “What is it? What can I do?” he asked.
</p><p>
  “It’s fine, Severus,” Hermione said. “It’s just the burns. I think I ripped my skin when I moved. I have a healing salve in the kitchen, they’ll be gone in no time.”
</p><p>
 “Let me get it for you.” 
</p><p>
  He didn’t wait for her reaction, pointing his wand at the cabinets. “<em>Accio</em> burn-healing paste!”
</p><p>
  A door on the left swung open and a glass jar flew in their reaction. Severus caught it mid-air and he turned to Hermione.
</p><p>
“Thanks,” she said with a small voice. Who would’ve thought Severus Snape would be so concerned for her. They were only a few burns, she thought. She really had gone through worse. But of course this boy didn’t know about the war she had been through…
</p><p>
  “Allow me,” he said as he urged her to sit on a wooden stool which was mostly used by her to reach one of the higher shelves in the kitchen.
</p><p>
  She let him push her to the stool and sat down, flinching as her trousers pulled on the skin. The wizard knelt in front of her while he opened the jar, scooping a deliberate amount of the paste in his hand. Wordlessly he took her right arm and began rubbing in the paste. As soon as the soothing cream hit her skin Hermione had to bite back an embarrassing moan. Carefully Severus applied the salve to her entire arm, not just the burns, before he went on to her left.
</p><p>
  When he was halfway through, the entrance door swung open and Jonas swept into the quarters.
</p><p>
 “I’ve brought fish and chips,” he said cheerily as he looked around the room, his eyes searching for his charges. When his eyes landed on Severus and Hermione, he quickly dropped the paper bag before he hurried to their side.
</p><p>
  “What happened?” he asked as he crouched down to be able to look both of them in the eye.
</p><p>
  “Tea accident,” Hermione answered. “I’m fine now, they’re just a couple of blisters and burns.”
</p><p>
  Jonas frowned. “How did this happen with only a bit of tea?”
</p><p>
  “It was my fault, sir,” Severus said quickly, as he continued working in the healing paste. “I made the tea too hot. It burned her skin.”
</p><p>
  “How many times have I told you you can call me Jonas,” Jonas said as he pinched the bridge of his nose, ignoring his admission of guilt. Even if the tea had been a tad too hot, that wouldn’t result in Hermione being covered in burns and blisters unless the boy had thrown it over her, and even though Jonas had his concerns about the boy, he doubted he had done this to her. Throwing tea wasn't vicious enough by a long shot to fit the image of the dark wizard the boy would become.
</p><p>
It wasn’t Severus’ fault,” Hermione cut in. “It was mine. I was being clumsy. He didn’t do anything wrong.” 
</p><p>
  “But it was my tea,” the boy protested.
</p><p>
 “Yes, and if I baked you a cake and you were to choke on it, would it be my fault?” Hermione asked.
</p><p>
  “No, of course not. That’s stupid,” Severus said.
</p><p>
  “So how is this your fault again?” 
</p><p>
The way he inclined his head, Hermione knew her logic had won.
</p><p>
  “So you are alright now?” Jonas asked her. Severus had finished rubbing in the healing paste on Hermione’s arms.
</p><p>
  “My arms are fine, thanks to Severus, but it appears my clothes are knit to my skin where the liquid fell,” she said.
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Jonas tilted his head, his brows drawn together. The tea must have been boiling to make her clothes stick to her like that. Maybe the particular brew the boy had used had increased the temperature. </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
 “I know a spell to remove your clothes from your skin without ripping your skin apart, but I think you would prefer it if a woman performed it,” Severus said, his voice even.
</p><p>
  Hermione felt her cheeks redden and when she glanced at Jonas she saw the corner of his lips curled upwards at the boy’s shameless comment.
</p><p>
 “Let’s get you to Poppy, then,” Jonas said after a few seconds had passed in silence.
</p><p>
  Hermione nodded. 
</p><p>
  “I’ll set the table. We can eat when you’re back,” Severus offered.
</p><p>
  When they got back and Hermione was completely healed, her clothes were back to their original state, the three of them had enjoyed dinner together.<br/>
The junk food tasted deliciously unhealthy, and Hermione told her mentor all about her research while Severus just ate and listened. Neither one of them spoke about the duel nor the Dutch or French Ministries.<br/>
After dinner and after Jonas had bid them goodnight, Severus and Hermione turned in early. The events of the day had exhausted them both. First the duel, then they had established their friendship, followed by Hermione being burned alive.
  
</p><p>
  It had been an unusual day.
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yeah i didn't really know where to go with this one, but oh well... I tried rewriting it multiple times and at least i don't hate this version...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter seven - Never Have I Ever</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hermione experiences some success, Severus is happy for her. They decide to celebrate, but things turn out a little bit different from what they had planned.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Brace yourself. Just a warning.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter seven - Never Have I Ever</h1><p>Days turned into weeks, as Severus and Hermione fell into a comfortable rhythm. Mornings they would spend each working by themselves, Hermione doing research or consulting with Jonas, Severus revising his NEWTS. After lunch Hermione would help Severus with his homework where necessary, or she would quizz him on all kinds of topics not only his NEWTS. More than one afternoon, Jonas had walked in on them having a heated discussion on something completely unrelated to even one of the subjects Hogwarts had to offer. They talked about potions, charms, the Dark Arts, but also about Muggle movies, novels, the news.</p><p>Their friendship resulted in them both relaxing a bit more in each other’s company. They both continued making sneering comments when feeling like it, which happened a lot, but they weren’t overly mean anymore.</p><p>Most days were spent bantering and bickering about, talking a bit, well, Hermione did most of the talking, but ever since that ninth day, Severus didn’t flat out ignore her anymore. He alway said or did something to at least acknowledge her in some way, though he still didn’t actually answer her directly all the time. But that was fair, Hermione reasoned, it was still a major improvement.</p><p> </p><p>On the eleventh day, March 25th, Hermione had some kind of a break-through on her project. The morning they had spent quizzing Severus on Transfiguration and Charms, now they were both in the lab, Hermione brewing, Severus revising Arithmancy.</p><p>“Oh, look!” Hermione exclaimed.</p><p>“What?” Severus asked, not looking up from his reading.</p><p>“Would you just come over and have a look?” Hermione responded a bit irritably. She had made a huge break-through. Couldn’t he just be happy for her?</p><p>Severus had rolled his eyes, but went over and peered down at her fuming cauldron. Judging by the smell of the fumes and the colour of the brew she had just finished the first part of a Cure for Boils.</p><p>“See?” Hermione pointed, excitedly. “It’s orange!”</p><p>“I can see that.”</p><p>“But I didn’t let it simmer for half an hour!” she said, impatiently. </p><p>Severus raised one of his eyebrows at her, but Hermione had learned early on the wizard mostly did that when amused or impressed. Both of them, not good, only one of them, he saw something that got his interest.</p><p>“How?”</p><p>“Surprisingly enough, not a charm,” Hermione frowned.</p><p>The other eyebrow went up, as if he was saying “get on with it, witch!”</p><p>“I was thinking about something you said a few days ago, actually,” Hermione said hesitantly. “But I didn’t remember until yesterday.”</p><p>Severus inclined his head a bit, indicating she should continue if she didn’t want to test his patience. He was actually kind of impressed she had remebered. After he had explained his use of the salt they'd had a massive row.</p><p>“When you added salt to the water when you were boiling the potatoes the other day, you said it increases the boiling point of the water, so everything cooks faster. Since a lot of potions are water-based, it thought maybe it would work on magical boiling as well. It did!” </p><p>Severus cocked his head.</p><p>“And how does that <em>remove</em> the simmering process?”</p><p>“It doesn’t, not its own,” Hermione explained. “It’s actually a bit tricky. I had put in the salt to see if it could lower the simmering time, and wanted to write down the process, but I had run out of parchment, so I put the potion under a Statis Charm to get some more. But when I did, the potion instantly went orange. It’s like the salt sped up the simmering, while the statis charm kept it from burning.”</p><p>Severus tilted his head to the other side but his eyebrows went down again.</p><p>“I still have to do more research on why it reacted the way it did. And I don’t actually know if it works on potions with bases other than water. And I don’t know how the salt will affect the quality of the potion. I’m also not really sure if the salt won’t because other potions to explode, since it actually increases the temperature. There is also a chance it won’t react well with other potion ingredients and I just got lucky with this one,” Hermione rattled off her concerns.</p><p>“It’s clever,” Severus said when she paused to take a breath.</p><p>Hermione had already opened her mouth to go on, but shut it again after hearing Severus’ praise. Severus Snape didn’t give praise. Well, the adult never did. Evidently, this one did.</p><p>“Thanks,” she said lamely. “It’s nothing, really. I just did what you did.”</p><p>“So you’re saying I’m the clever one?” Severus smirked.</p><p>Hermione rolled her eyes, but a smile appeared on her face as well.</p><p>“As if you need me to confirm that for you,” she snorted.</p><p>“I don’t, but it’s nice to hear anyway.”</p><p>“Alright, wizard,” Hermione said. “You’re quite clever.”</p><p>“You’re not so bad yourself, witch,” Severus responded, quirking one of his eyebrows.</p><p>Definitely amusement.</p><p>o0o</p><p>While Hermione had scribbled down her findings, Severus had offered to complete the potion, which she had gladly accepted. She didn't actually need the Cure for Boils and she knew Severus enjoyed brewing just for the hell of it.<br/>
After Hermione had double-checked if she had covered everything, she looked up to see Severus already putting away the unused ingredients, and a crate with phials of the potions placed on the workbench. She knew she didn’t have to check his work. It would be perfect.</p><p>As Severus checked the rest of the stores, making a list of everything that needed refilling, Hermione got busy scrubbing the cauldron by hand. Her Potions Master had taught her the brass would stay in a better condition if you didn’t Scourgify the cauldron every time because the spell didn’t just clean it, but actually scorched off a layer of material. When Jonas had told her so, she finally knew why professor Snape had ordered students in detention to scrub the things by hand all those times.</p><p>When everything was back in its original spot, squeaky clean, Jonas’ head appeared around the corner of the door. He would escort his charges back to Hermione’s rooms, so it wouldn’t look weird if Hermione said anything to Severus.<br/>
This time when they began their walk, Hermione didn’t talk to Severus, but turned to her mentor, her words pouring out of her mouth like the Niagara falls. He looked proudly down at his apprentice as she told him her findings. He didn’t even catch all of it as she rattled on, but it didn’t matter, he would hear all about it the next day during her standard review.</p><p>Back to Hermione’s quarters, Jonas bid them both goodbye, and Severus immediately went to the kitchen, pulling out pots and pans.</p><p>“What do you want to eat?” he asked Hermione over his shoulder.</p><p>Hermione followed him to the tiny kitchen, leaning on the workbench behind him.</p><p>“Why do you ask?” she asked him in return. He hadn’t bothered with the courtesy before.</p><p>“I had a break-through,” he said. “I thought you would want to celebrate.”</p><p>Hermione put her hands on her hips. “<em>You</em> had a break-through?”</p><p>“Yes, with the salt. That was all my idea,” he said, turning around to meet her eyes, arching one black eyebrow.</p><p>Hermione snorted. “You can just admit you want to do something nice for me instead of being such a git, you know.”</p><p>The corner of Severus' lip seemed to twitch a bit, but it was gone so fast, Hermione didn’t know if she’d imagined it. Had Severus just smiled? She hadn’t seen him smile, ever, teen or adult. Then again, she had also never seen the adult cooking dinner, or holding or kissing someone’s hand, let alone her own.</p><p>“I know I can, I just choose not to,” Severus said.</p><p>“So you admit you want to do something nice?” Hermione asked, not failing to notice he didn’t deny it.</p><p>There it was again, that twitch in the left corner of his mouth. The owner of said mouth kept it shut, though.</p><p>“Alright, Mister Nice,” Hermione said, “do you know how to make Lasagna?”</p><p>“Do I look like a barbarian?”</p><p>Hermione let out a laugh. “Do you really want me to answer that?”</p><p>“Probably not,” Severus admitted, a full smirk on his lips. “Alright, witch, I will cook you Lasagna.”</p><p>o0o</p><p>Using his wand to get the casserole out of the oven, Severus poured two glasses of red wine before placing them next to the two plates on the table.<br/>
Lucius Malfoy had taught him how to recognise fine wines and how to match them with food, making it so the wine would enhance the flavours instead of dominating it. He’d said it was a crucial part of showing class.  It wasn’t as if Severus had been in even one situation in which he had to choose a wine, but the master class came in handy now.</p><p>The lasagna hovered to the round dining table and landed on the square marble hot plate. The dish smelled delicious.  </p><p>After quickly checking if everything was in order, Severus walked to the bedroom door and knocked. </p><p>“Hermione, dinner’s ready,” he called, before repeating himself twice.</p><p>“Coming!” it sounded from the other side of the door. After their falling-out a week before, he would call for her till she yelled something back. He knew now she didn’t ignore him, she would just be caught up in her work, and he didn’t mind snapping her out of it by calling a few more times.</p><p>Severus walked back to the table and sat down in his usual spot. It was the chair facing the door and the floo. That way if any visitor decided to drop by, he wouldn’t be ambushed from behind. Not that any visitor could enter unannounced, they had placed several wards on the quarters, alarming both Hermione and Severus if anyone tried to, but for Severus it was a habit he didn’t feel a need for to lose. The people he associated himself with back in 1978 called for a bit of precaution.</p><p>He was about to take a sip of wine, when the bedroom door opened and Hermione came into view.</p><p>Severus arched his left eyebrow. She had changed. She didn’t wear her apprentice's robes anymore, but a flowy red dress, reaching just above the knee, dipping low enough to show a bit of cleavage. She wore a off-white dressing gown over it.</p><p>“What... are you wearing?” he asked incredulously before he could stop himself.</p><p>“You said we were going to celebrate. I wasn’t about to do that in my dirty brewing robes,” Hermione said, sitting down in her usual seat, two spots to his right, leaving one empty chair in between.<br/>
That way they weren’t forced to look at each other during meals, but they could look the other in the eyes if they wished to do so.</p><p>Severus narrowed his eyes at her but didn’t say anything, making her feel a bit uncomfortable because she started to shift a bit in her seat.</p><p>“It smells amazing,” Hermione said.</p><p>“Thanks,” Severus replied, waving his wand to fill their plates with a neat piece of the steaming dish. The layers of pasta were clearly visible, he was proud to notice.</p><p>“I hope you like wine,” he said, making it sound more like a question. If she didn’t he would just drink her glass, she could drink water.</p><p>“Er… yes, I do,” she said with a soft smile, realising he was actually trying to be nice to her.</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>Dinner went by quite quickly and Severus was surprised to find he didn’t mind actually talking to the witch as much as he’d thought he would.</p><p>At first he would only answer her questions, though a bit stiffly, but he remembered his promise to himself he would try to be nice. So he tried to engage with her, which meant having an actual conversation which wasn’t just one-sided. He found Hermione was a rather nice dinner companion and conversationalist.<br/>
He just steered clear of any controversial subjects, asking her about her research instead. She loved to talk about that, even though she had said she couldn’t share every little detail with him because of the risk of altering history. Her ideas were quite clever.</p><p>While they ate their food in a comfortable silence, the wine flowed freely, and when they’d both finished eating, they both felt a little dazed. They hadn’t known it, but good food and a sip of wine had been the exact combination to finally make them relax just a tad more.<br/>
When near each other, which had been almost every part of the day for the last eleven days, they were always a bit on guard, still; Severus because he was always like that in other people’s company after being bullied for most part of his life, Hermione ‘cause she couldn’t help herself and kept glancing at the wizard. He intrigued her, and she also still couldn’t believe he was actually there, alive. She kept looking at him, kind of expecting he would go up in smoke, which of course didn’t happen.<br/>
The only times when they hadn’t been together were when Hermione went to meet with her friends, or when they used the bathroom.</p><p>While Hermione cleaned up, Severus fixed them both some tea. He got her her favourite jasmine brew while he opted for his standard smoky pine one.</p><p>They both sat in silence for a while, sipping their tea.</p><p>Severus noticed Hermione kept stealing glances at him. He’d noticed her doing that quite often, actually, but he’d never said anything. Maybe it was because of the wine, or the good food, or tea, or a combination of the three, but this time he asked what she was on about, initiating the conversation for the first time since his arrival in 1999.</p><p>“What are you doing, witch?” he drawled, narrowing his eyes at her. </p><p>Brown eyes met his black ones.</p><p>“What are you talking about, wizard?” Hermione shot back, looking confused.</p><p>“Unless I’m somehow transparent at the moment and there’s something interesting behind me, I’d say you’re looking at me,” Severus said, using more words than ever.</p><p>“I’m not,” she said, crossing her arms, but Severus noticed her cheeks reddened.</p><p>“Yes, you are,” he stated. “You’re studying me like I’m some rare old tome.”</p><p>“Well, aren’t you a talkative joy all of the sudden,” Hermione bit out.</p><p>Severus smirked. He liked a bit of verbal sparring and while it was a bonus Hermione could hold herself most of the time, this time it seemed she couldn't.</p><p>They both went silent for a while, sipping their tea, before Hermione spoke up.</p><p>“Let’s play a game,” she said.</p><p>Severus eyed her. He wasn’t sure if he would like her games.</p><p>“Just humour me,” Hermione tried to convince him.</p><p>“Alright, witch,” Severus said, a bit curious what she was planning to have them do. “Why don’t you tell me what kind of game you have in mind, first?”</p><p>“It’s called Never Have I Ever,” she said.</p><p>Severus frowned. He knew that game. It was something the older Muggle girls back home played.</p><p>“That’s a game meant for randy alcoholic teenagers,” he said.</p><p>“We are teenagers, Severus,” said Hermione.</p><p>“I’m not randy,” he protested, knowing he sounded rather defensive.</p><p>“Good to know, thanks,” Hermione said. Severus noticed her flushing slightly. “Just try it, would you? We’re celebrating my victory, right?”</p><p>“Right,” he said. He <em>had</em> said that, hadn’t he. Well, he couldn’t just go back on his word now. He would just indulge her.</p><p>“I’ll go first,” Hermione said quickly. “Never have I ever… blown up a cauldron.”</p><p>She looked at him expectantly.</p><p>“So we’re going to play this game with tea?” Severus asked. This was just stupid.</p><p>“Would you like to play it with more wine?” It sounded like a genuine question.</p><p>“That’s the whole point of the game, isn’t it,” Severus said. If he was going to play such a childish game, at least he was going to drink alcohol during it.</p><p>“Alright,” Hermione conceded. “Have it your way.” She summoned a House Elf, who brought them a bottle of red.</p><p>Severus watched as Hermione helped them both to a considerable supply of wine. He took one of the goblets but said nothing. Instead he just kept watching Hermione who shifted awkwardly in her chair. Her cheeks still had a bit of a pink hue.<br/>
Maybe the wine they’d already consumed affected her more than him, Severus thought.</p><p>“Well, are you going to answer the question?”</p><p>Oh right, she’d already started the game. Maybe the wine affected him a bit as well.</p><p>“Who do you think I am?” he scoffed, eyebrows slightly raised. She didn’t seriously think he would be that idiotic to let a potion explode, did she?</p><p>“That’s a no, then?”</p><p>Severus nodded once. </p><p>“Then we’re both not drinking,” Hermione said matter of factly. “Now it’s your turn.”</p><p>Severus furrowed his brow. He hadn’t thought about the fact they would take turns. Perhaps this wasn’t so bad after all. He could try and filch out some information about his future life. He still hadn’t brought up his suspicion the girl knew him. No, he wouldn’t use the information to try to stay in this year, but it couldn’t hurt to test the waters a bit, so to speak?<br/>
He had to be subtle about it, though. Hermione wasn’t thick, she’d know if he would be too prying. Was it going too far if he waited a bit till she was a bit more intoxicated? Hm, well, he would just see how things would go. No use in wasting time making up scenarios.<br/>
Wait, she was still waiting on his turn. Yes, that wine was definitely affecting him more than he’d anticipated. He would just start nice and easy, no ulterior motives, not till later, if the opportunity would present itself, that is.</p><p>“Never Have I Ever hexed or cursed someone by accident,” he decided on, and frowned when Hermione took a sip.</p><p>“We were practising offensive spells,” she explained. “My spell bounced off and I hit Ron instead of the mechanical dummy. It was a Toenail-growing hex, so it wasn’t pretty. Took us longer than necessary to undo it because we couldn’t stop laughing. His toenails were almost two feet long by the time we managed to cast the counter-hex.”</p><p>Severus lifted his goblet to his lips to hide his smile. He hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting Hermione’s beau, and doubted he would, considering the fact he had to stay hidden, but he could imagine the redhead with ridiculous long nails.</p><p>“And you?” the girl asked when she stopped laughing at the memory.</p><p>“Never by accident,” Severus said.</p><p>The girl snorted, shaking her head.<br/>
They went back and forth, making statements and seeing if the other elaborated when they drank. Till then every phrase had been rather innocent; Hermione had asked about pets and brooms, both of which Severus hadn't ever had, he had asked about pulling an all-nighter to study, and about suffering the consequences of a badly brewed potion. Hermione had to drink to both, though she didn't tell him about the cat incident from her second year.</p><p>“My turn,” she said. “Never Have I Ever lied to get in someone’s pants.”</p><p>Now it was Severus’ turn to snort. So this was how they were going to play this game eh?</p><p>“That’s ridiculous,” he said.</p><p>“Have you?” Hermione pressed.</p><p>“No,” he answered truthfully.</p><p>“Never?” Maybe she didn’t believe him because she couldn't fathom the idea of someone so ugly getting the girl without lying.</p><p>“You are always completely honest when you pick someone up?” she asked.</p><p>“I never said I ever <em>picked someone up</em>, as you so eloquently put it,”  Severus said. He didn’t like where this was going. If he wouldn’t change the subject soon, he’d have to talk about Lily, and that was something he wasn’t ready for, but the wine was making his tongue loosen up.</p><p>“So you get picked up by others?”</p><p>“Have you looked at me these past days? I’m not exactly the type to be <em>picked up</em>,” he said, not even bitter about it. He knew how he looked and it wasn’t great.</p><p>“What? You have distinctive features,” Hermione said, gigglingm her cheeks slightly flushed, though that could be a result of the wine.</p><p>Severus let out an actual chuckle. “That’s one way of putting it.”</p><p>He tilted his head to the right, studying the witch on the other side of the table. She wasn’t not done asking questions yet.</p><p>“But you’re seventeen. Surely you must have… erm… needs,” Hermione said as her cheeks turned from pink to red.</p><p>After a few beats of looking at each other, which seemed to last longer than they actually did, he chose to ignore her comment. “I believe it’s my turn now.”</p><p>“Yes, of course, go ahead,” Hermione nodded.</p><p>Thank Merlin, she dropped it so easy, Severus thought, but she gave him an opening to ask some ‘deep’ embarrassing questions. Time to get this show on the road.</p><p>“Never Have I Ever had a crush on a teacher,” he said, knowing his future-self taught her, and even though an affirmative answer wouldn’t necessarily mean she’d have a crush on him, he was just curious to see her reaction. </p><p>She didn’t disappoint him.</p><p>He saw how she flushed tremendously and she seemed to avoid his eyes. Gotcha, he thought.</p><p>“You know you have to drink if you did, witch,” he pushed.</p><p>“Yes, I know how the game works, thank you very much, wizard,” she snapped before she took a swig.</p><p>Severus decided to wait if she would elaborate.</p><p>“It was in my second year. Gilderoy Lockhart, Defense of the Dark Arts. What an idiot.” She made a face when she spoke his name.</p><p>Severus searched her face for a second, but he saw nothing that told him she was lying.<br/>
Not me, then, Severus thought. Well, that shouldn’t be surprising at all, with his greasy hair, hooked nose and sallow skin. Still, it wouldn’t have hurt to know if Hermione had fancied him.</p><p>oOo</p><p>What was he doing? Why would he go and ask that? </p><p>Hermione had already confirmed he would be her professor, but he didn’t know about any other changes in the teaching staff during her school days. He only knew he would teach her.</p><p>But that meant… That meant he was indirectly asking if she had had a crush on him because there was no way she would have had a crush on one of the other teachers he knew, naming Binns for one.<br/>
Gods, he had no right! Or did he? She had been the one to propose playing this game after all, and didn’t she ask him about his conquests? Maybe that was even worse because she knew who Severus was going to be, while he was in the dark. She had just been curious to know if the professor, young or not, did have some game. Ha, the thought of him hitting on someone made her giggle.</p><p>Trying to get herself under control, she saw Severus was still watching her intently. Oh what she would give to know what he was thinking… a wish she also had when he had been her teacher by the way. His face had always been impassive and it was unreadable now.</p><p>“Let’s forget the game,” Hermione said, refilling their glasses with wine. Their tea was long forgotten, and this third bottle of the night was already half empty. “We’re both adults, we can have a normal conversation, right?”</p><p>o0o</p><p>Severus watched Hermione’s brain working at full capacity, well... full capacity on alcohol. He didn’t mind abandoning the game, it would be easier to get her to talk without having to phrase it following the rules.</p><p>“Right,” he said before taking a sip of wine.</p><p>“So,” she started, “what kind of music do you like?”</p><p>Back to safe topics, were they, eh?</p><p>“Am I listening to this music or playing it?” he asked in return.</p><p>Hermione’s eyes grew wide. “You can play? What instrument do you play?”</p><p>“I can play the piano,” he replied.</p><p>“So, what do you play?”</p><p>“Chopin, Tchaikovsky, Rachmaninoff.” He named the three names whose works he had played the most.</p><p>“Oh I love Tchaikovsky!” Hermione exclaimed. “My mum used to take me to the ballet each birthday. I loved those dancers, the music, the décors.”</p><p>“Used to?” Severus asked, not knowing why he did so. Since when did he care about those personal details? That bloody wine, he thought.</p><p>“I guess I haven’t told you about that yet," she said. "My parents live in Australia. We’re not exactly on speaking terms…” Severus noticed she didn’t look at him.</p><p>“Why not?” he asked. He had agreed to ‘converse’, had he not?</p><p>“I did something. They…” Her voice faltered. “It’s not good.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Severus said. He found that he was. “What happened?”</p><p>Hermione met his eyes again. She looked sad. “I’m not sure I can tell you.”</p><p>“Oh,” he said. He understood if she didn’t want to share that information with him. Though they’d spent almost all their time together these past eleven days, and had agreed on their friendship, they weren’t actually that close. They didn’t share personal things. They just didn’t.</p><p>Hermione seemed to notice the disappointment in his voice, because she said, “I know I can tell you, Severus, you’re a good friend. But because it may change the course of your life, I shouldn’t.”</p><p>She felt like she could tell him? She called him a good friend?<br/>
Merlin, he hated not knowing. Not this particular information, no -while he could tell it bothered her, meaning it would probably do her good to talk about it, it didn’t actually matter to him- but the parts about his life she evidently knew but couldn’t tell him. </p><p>“I’m not that good of a friend if I can’t help you with something that makes you sad, am I?” he said. “If it won’t kill me, I want to know. I can tell you have to get it off your chest.” </p><p>“I really shouldn't,” she repeated, reverting her eyes again.</p><p>“I understand,” he said, giving her a rare smile. She might think of him as a good friend, but she didn’t trust him like that. It was fine.</p><p>“I want to tell you, I do,” Hermione hurried, apparently again sensing his self-doubts even without meeting his eyes. “It’s just that… I really shouldn’t tell you.”</p><p>Even though he couldn’t look her directly in the eyes, he didn’t fail to notice a hint of something he’d seen on her before. It was that look of grief. It wasn’t much to go on, but he knew enough.</p><p>“So, it will kill me if I know,” he more or less stated. </p><p>“Well, not you maybe, but…” she stopped herself. “I should stop talking. I’ve already said more than I should’ve.”</p><p>“I wasn’t just your professor, was I,” Severus said. It wasn’t a question. “You said you <em>knew</em> me, in fact, you kept insisting. You aren’t friends with me now, though.”<br/>
Hermione still had her eyes on the floor, but she nodded once, and that one small, almost imperceptible nod told him all he needed to know.</p><p>“If you know me, but aren’t friends with me, how <em>do</em> you know me? What am I up to these days?” he asked, already knowing she couldn’t answer him.</p><p>“I can’t tell you.” </p><p>“You can’t tell me not only because of the danger of altering my future, but because I’m not here, am I?” he said, again not asking her, but merely stating the facts. “I’m dead.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>oh shit!!!!! </p><p>What's Hermione going to do now??</p><p>Damn Severus for being so smart. Did he just manage to change his own future, and make Britain's entire wizarding society go haywire?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter eight - Damn him</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>the previous chapter:</p><p>“If you know me, but aren’t friends with me, how do you know me? What am I up to these days?” he asked, already knowing she couldn’t answer him.</p><p>“I can’t tell you.” </p><p>“You can’t tell me not only because of the danger of altering my future, but because I’m not here, am I?” he said, again not asking her, but merely stating the facts. “I’m dead.”</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter eight - Damn him</h1><p>Hermione was floored. How the hell had he deduced that? It was true of course, but there was no way he just guessed it. She hadn’t said anything, right? And the fact that he <em>thought</em> he knew, didn’t change the fact that he shouldn’t know. She would just have to deny it…? Gloss over it?<br/>
<em>Wait, hold on, how the hell did he come to this conclusion in the first place?</em></p><p>“Why do you think that?” she tried to inquire nonchalantly, not meeting his eyes.</p><p>“First off, the fact that you won’t look at me and your reaction to my questions just now,” Severus replied while he fiddled with his goblet. “Two being the fact that you were a little too surprised when I told you my name two weeks ago. That, plus the fact you sound sad everytime we talk about my life in 1999, it wasn’t that hard.”</p><p>She sounded sad? Well, she was sad about his death, but so sad that he had heard it in her voice? She cursed inwardly. Damn him for being so smart.</p><p>“So you’re not even going to deny it?” Severus asked.</p><p>“Would you believe me if I did?” Hermione shot back.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Exactly,” Hermione said. “But now you know, we can’t talk about your life anymore, not about anything. It’s too dangerous. And I have to tell the Headmistress that you know.”</p><p>Severus seemed to study her for a minute. </p><p>Then he said, “You don’t have to tell her. It won’t change anything. I alway thought I would die young.”</p><p>Now Hermione was utterly dumbfounded and she felt her jaw go slack.</p><p>“What do you mean?” she asked.</p><p>The boy just shrugged. “My time isn’t exactly a walk in the park. There’s a war coming. My friends aren’t exactly the friendliest or safest bunch… Let’s just say the news doesn’t surprise me.”</p><p>Hermione couldn’t help herself and before she knew it, she said, “So you’re about to join a war knowing it will result in your death?”</p><p>“But it won’t, will it?” Severus stated. “Not immediately anyway. I’m still going to be a professor, and-” he cut himself off there. “Wait, do I survive the entire war? How long does it last, two years?”</p><p>“Can’t say.”</p><p>“No, I do survive, do I?” Severus said. “There’s no war now, and in my time there’s no record of a Hogwarts’ professor being younger than thirty and even that is stretching it. I’ll survive the war, live for another couple of years and become a teacher here. You still meet me. You’re what? Twenty? That means I’m still alive for more than another decade.”</p><p>Hermione’s eyes widened, but she didn’t dare meeting those black tunnels which were still fixed on her. Damn him for being so smart.</p><p>“Let’s just go to bed, alright?” she sighed. “We can’t talk about any of this. I’m glad you think it won’t make a difference because if it did, we were all screwed.”</p><p>“No, wait,” Severus protested. “I want to know. When do I die?”</p><p>“I can’t tell you.”</p><p>“You had me as your teacher,” Severus contemplated out loud. “There’s no way you only had me for a year or two, you wouldn’t be so sad about me now. Kids don’t work that way, not even Gryffindors. I died recently, did I?”</p><p>Hermione let out a deep breath and stood, ignoring the wizard. Damn him for being so damn clever. <em>How does he do this? How does he just put two and two together?</em></p><p>“I’m going to bed,” she announced heading for the bedroom. “Good night, Severus.”</p><p>“Wait, I want to know!” she heard him shout at her back. “What happens to me? What happens between my time and yours?”</p><p>Before she reached the door, she spun on her heels and was right back by the table, her face only inches from Severus’.</p><p>“Severus, I’m tired and I think I'm drunk. Don’t do this now. You know I can’t tell you anything even though I want to. Stop being an arse and let it go.”</p><p>The boy went to stand as well.</p><p>“How would you feel if you learned about your own death? Wouldn’t you want to know everything about it? How would you feel if the only one who you call a friend keeps telling you ‘no’ when you ask him something?” he hissed.</p><p>“Severus, please, not now,” Hermione sighed.</p><p>“No, Hermione,” he said. “You can’t keep saying no. You said your history, my future, depends on my ignorance. You said if I knew, your world would change. Well, I don’t think it will. Knowing and acting are two different things; I can keep them separate. Tell me what happens. I already know I’ll die somewhere around 1999 instead of the war back in 1978. What is there that’s that bad you can’t tell me? And don’t say I’m too important. I don’t believe it!”</p><p>Hermione didn’t know if it was because it was already 2 am, or because she was intoxicated, but she couldn’t handle his questions anymore.</p><p>“YOU WILL DIE IN THE WAR OKAY??!” she shrieked, tears rolling down her face. She had had enough.</p><p>Now it was Severus’ turn to be taken aback, and he sat down again, blinking several times as he processed her words.</p><p>“What do you mean?” he questioned quietly after some time had passed, his brows knit together. “How long does that war go on for? Is it still going on now?”</p><p>Hermione sighed deeply and sunk back on a chair as well.</p><p>“There’s going to be a second war. You’ll die in that one,” she conceded. She was so tired she didn’t have it in her to deny him any longer.</p><p>“And why does it matter that I don’t know anything about my future?”</p><p>“You’ll be the key to winning the war, to our peace here and now.”</p><p>“Yes, so you’ve said. I just don’t believe I’m going to be that important. I’m just me. I was bullied all of my life, abused by my own fa-” he stopped himself, but not soon enough.</p><p>‘<em>Abused by my own father’, he was about to say</em>, Hermione thought.<br/>
Merlin, Harry had told her about Severus being bullied, but not about an abusive father. In fact he hadn’t told her barely anything about the memories he’d seen in the pensieve. The only thing he had told her was the fact that Snape had indirectly caused his parents’ death and that their death had resulted in Snape changing sides. He had been on the side of the Light all along, and he didn’t deserve to die like he had, Harry had told the public.<br/>
Even Severus himself hadn’t said anything. During one of their earlier fights he had let it slip his mother was often on the receiving end of his father’s violence, but never had he indicated he was being abused as well. And in what way, Hermione could only guess.</p><p>“I didn’t know,” she said with a small voice. “I’m so sorry.”</p><p>Severus shrugged. “It doesn’t matter.”</p><p>“I’m still sorry,” she offered.</p><p>“I don’t need your pity!” the boy snapped.</p><p>“This isn’t pity. It’s empathy. It’s what friends offer each other when times are rough,” Hermione simply replied.</p><p>Severus muttered something under his breath, but Hermione couldn’t make out what.</p><p>“Alright,” she said. “Now that we’re already here, what questions do you have?”</p><p>Severus looked at her, his head tilted to the side, his left eyebrow up.</p><p>“You’re going to answer them this time?” he asked.</p><p>“You said it wouldn’t make a difference. So try me. The worst I can do is refuse,” Hermione said. She was so done hiding Severus’ future from him. Yes, she understood that if he did something different from the first time around because of the information he got now, it would be bad, but him knowing didn’t necessarily mean it would change his course of actions.</p><p>“When will I die?”</p><p>“1998,” Hermione said. 365 days of guess-space was wide enough.</p><p>“That’s last year,” Severus observed while frowning.</p><p>“I know.” Her tone made it clear she wouldn’t elaborate on that particular notion. Instead, she gave the boy time to process that bit of information.<br/>
“I died only a year ago?” It didn’t sound like he was asking her, but she nodded slowly anyway. At her confirmation, he bowed his head, closing his eyes for a few seconds. </p><p>Fiddling with the ear of her tea cup, she waited till Severus would continue his questioning. She couldn’t read the expression he wore on his face when he opened his eyes again to look her in the eye, his head slightly tilted to the left. After at least a minute had passed, he opened his mouth again.</p><p>“How?” </p><p>“Bravely.”</p><p>Again, he took his time before he continue, though he let his gaze fall to the tea cup in her hands.</p><p>“Will I die alone?”</p><p>“No,” Hermione said. That bit wouldn’t hurt the course of his life and she felt that maybe the information could help him digest the burdensome knowledge he’d gained already. Talking about his death, the sadness she was used to feeling by now swelled in her chest.<br/>
Although the war had ended almost eleven months ago already, the sense of grief had never really left her, but it had mellowed out as time’d progressed. Though she would probably never be the same again, eventually she’d come to terms with the losses of Fred, Moony, Tonks, Dobby and the hundreds of other people that had died during the war.<br/>
But now, all that anguish came rolling right back, swallowing her whole. If <em>she</em> felt this bad, how the hell was <em>he</em> doing? </p><p>“Were you there?” he asked next. Hermione noticed his voice was perfectly steady.</p><p>She studied his face. His face was partially hidden behind the curtains of his black hair, but she could tell he was looking at her, too, calculating every question.<br/>
His hands rested on the table and he was picking his nails.</p><p>“Why do you ask?” she wanted to know. What did it matter?</p><p>“Because you look way too sad now if I was just one of your professors, and you told me we weren’t friends,” he answered without missing a beat.</p><p>Damn him for being so smart.</p><p>“Yes, I was there,” she confessed after some more mutual studying the other.</p><p>“Did you cry?” </p><p>“What?" Hermione was genuinely surprised. "Do you want me to be sad?” What did he want to achieve with this line of questioning? She had given him the chance to ask her about his entire future, and this was what he’d come up with?</p><p>“Even if we weren’t friends then, we are friends now,” he replied. “I like the thought of my friend being there with me. If you cried, you cared, even if we weren’t friends.”</p><p>“Oh,” Hermione said. She hadn’t expected this reaction from Severus Snape. It was rather sad, but also sweet, cute even.</p><p>“Did you?” he pressed. “Did you care?”</p><p>He lifted his chin slightly, his eyes finding hers. There was a pain in them, Hermione realised. It figures, she thought, they were talking about his death for Merlin’s sake.<br/>
For a second her gaze fell on his hands. He had stopped fidgeting with his nails and placed one on top of the other, but that didn’t keep her from noticing he was shaking.</p><p>“Yes, I did care,” she said, covering his hands with hers. “I still do. And I cried, so hard.” Even then and there, she felt her eyes fill with tears at the memory and the look on the face of the boy in front of her.</p><p>There was a long moment of silence in which they both sat looking at each other, their hands clasped together. Both sets of eyes had a sheen of unshed tears, but with their owners lost in thought, they went unnoticed by the other.</p><p>“Thank you for answering my questions,” Severus said after a while. His tone still painfully even.</p><p>Hermione gave him a nod in response. What do you say to someone thanking you for telling him about his own death?</p><p>“Let’s get some sleep, alright?” Hermione asked softly.</p><p>“Right.” </p><p>They both stood up, but before they let go of each other’s hand, Severus lifted Hermione’s right hand and leaned in. With his eyes up, fixed on hers, he asked silently for permission, and when she nodded, he pressed a soft kiss to the back of her hand.<br/>
Then he let go of her and straightened his back. </p><p>“Thank you, Hermione,” he said, his eyes conveying that he meant more than just her answering his questions.</p><p>Hermione gave him a sad smile as she watched him turn and disappear behind the bedroom door. Shaking her head as if trying to physically shake off the night's events, she pulled out her wand and cleaned the table of their wine goblets and forgotten tea mugs.<br/>
When she got to the bedroom, Severus was already in his bed, his eyes closed. Knowing his tendency to mule and contemplate, Hermione guessed he probably wasn’t asleep yet, but she didn’t say anything. They’d talked enough.</p><p>After she’d done her things in the bathroom and had climbed in bed, she laid on her back, staring at the ceiling. The wine still wasn't completely out of her system and her brain wouldn’t stop wirring and buzzing.</p><p>He had said he’d been abused by his father. He hadn’t said in what way, but she didn’t know if she wanted to know. Gods, the more she learned about the boy, the more she felt for him. Harry hadn’t exaggerated when he’d said Severus Snape deserved better.<br/>
And now he knew when he was going to die. He had assured her it wouldn’t change anything, and she believed him. As long as his motivations and actions leading up to his death wouldn’t change, the world would be safe. If only Severus would be safe as well, but Merlin knew he wouldn’t be.</p><p>The only thing Hermione knew as she lay in bed was the fact that her hand still tingled at the spot where Severus had kissed it.</p><p>Strange.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I stole "How? "Bravely" directly from the Cursed Child. </p><p>I read the book as soon as it came out and was greatly disappointed, but then a few years later, I went and saw the play. I'm still not over the scenes with Snape, but not Alan Rickman...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter nine - Music to her ears</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>An extraordinarily moody Hermione in combination with an uncharacteristically cheery Severus can only mean trouble. Right?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The following day Hermione woke up with a headache, no doubt caused by the wine. Severus, however, seemed to have no problems. If anything, he appeared to be in a good mood of sorts, starting conversations, using his sarcastic wit to crack jokes. They both didn’t mention the night before, but it was clear it had changed something, had brought them closer.</p><p>After Hermione had come back from her morning review with Jonas - she had been absolutely thrilled to explain her progress with the salt to him - Severus and Hermione had spent the afternoon working on Arithmancy problems. Severus revising his NEWT, Hermione working on her dissertation. She was trying to work out if adding salt to any kind of potion would botch it or not. Although she couldn’t have been happier that morning when she had told her mentor about the discovery, that afternoon found her in any mood but one of happiness.<br/>
She was frustrated by the fact that her work didn’t go as smoothly as she wanted it, annoyed by Severus’ cheery mood - he had the nerve to hum for Merlin’s sake! -, and kind of disappointed by Jonas. Her mentor had been more than happy for his apprentice, but instead of offering to help her research more on the topic, he had hurried out of their meeting, saying he had something more important to do. </p><p>That night she went straight to bed after dinner, conjuring a second divider to hide behind. That Severus might interpret the thing as if she was shutting him out didn’t occur to her. She was way too agitated to be thoughtful.</p><p>However, agitated as she was, sleep wouldn’t come of course. Instead she replayed the events of the night before in her head over and over. She wasn’t sure where exactly it had all gone down, what she had said causing Severus to deduce his own death. That boy was too clever for his own good, she decided, but she knew she couldn’t well blame him for being smart. In fact, it was one of the things she admired about him.<br/>
As her Professor, Severus Snape had been a focused, calculated, but most importantly a highly intelligent wizard. This seventeen year old wasn’t that far off. Though he wasn’t as cold and cruel as his future self, still a bit on the youthful and juvenile side, if his cheery mood that day had been anything to go by, including his humming. The thought of the indifferent Professor Snape humming alone was enough to lighten Hermione’s mood just a little bit.</p><p>No, Hermione knew she herself was to blame for him finding out about his timely death. After all, Severus had said he had read it in her face. Cursing herself for not being able to school her features, she almost laughed out loud. <em>Yes, that’s brilliant. Hermione Granger the war hero causes the end of a peaceful world because she couldn’t control her facial muscles. Pathetic.</em><br/>
She had survived being tortured by Bellatrix Lestrange after she had refused to give up any information on their horcrux hunt. She hadn’t given anything away then, why the hell had she now? Was she losing her touch, getting too used to living a simple life without the constant fear of torture and death? Why had she lost control only after a few questions of a boy two years her junior and had she lived to be tortured some more by that evil bitch?</p><p>Reflecting, she knew the reason wasn’t because she was losing her ability to keep a secret; she knew how to keep her mouth shut when necessary, for one she hadn’t told Harry and Ron about Severus, and in addition to that, she hadn’t flat out told Jonas about her slip-up with Severus the second she met with her mentor that day. Well, to be fair, in both those situations self-preservation played at least some part in her choice to hold her tongue.<br/>
No, she knew why she hadn’t been able to refuse Severus. It wasn’t a matter of being able to, it was a matter of wanting. She just didn’t want to keep such important and personal information from him, and she trusted him to keep it to himself and not be carried away by it.</p><p>Why she felt like it wouldn’t make a difference, she couldn’t explain, but she knew she just had to answer his questions. And to her credit, though she had answered them truthfully, her answers had been rather vague. The only thing she could really blame herself for was the fact she had yelled about his death in the war in the first place.<br/>
To be honest, she shouldn’t have done that, but knowing the boy, it probably hadn’t even mattered. He had deduced a lot already.</p><p>Maybe it was a good thing even, she had slipped up because now she knew what he knew.<br/>
If they hadn’t talked about it like they had, Severus would have made assumptions on his own and probably without ever voicing them, which would be far worse.</p><p>Alright, if put like that, maybe she could live with her slip-up, and given the fact that she was still alive and safe, lying in her bed in her own apprentice quarters, the few things she had told Severus evidently hadn’t caused extensive changes.</p><p>o0o</p><p>Severus had spent his evening scribbling in his copy of <em>Advanced Potion-making</em>.<br/>
His scribblings weren’t anything as inventive as his spells or adjustments to potion recipes, but the book also doubled as a diary of sorts, not that he would ever call it that, of course. He just liked to write down his thoughts every now and then, and the events of the day before called for a lot of writing.</p><p>It also didn’t help that Hermioine had been incredibly snarky with him that day. Sure, they still made sarcastic comments to each other once in a while, but today she had actually been close to being cruel. He himself had been in a rare good mood, all his questions finally answered. Even the part about his death didn’t bug him as much as one would expect. After all, he now knew at least he wouldn’t die alone, and that thought comforted him.<br/>
Hermione, on the other hand, had bit his head off when he had hummed some tune of Chopin as he worked. Ever since they had agreed on being friends, they both had toned it down considerably, but that day the witch’s cynicism had made a full come-back.<br/>
Partly, he blamed it on the hang-over she probably suffered - he had seen her rubbing her temples more than just a few times-, but mostly he feared he had caused her to be like that. When she was the one asking the questions, it annoyed him to a great extent, but now he had been the one pressing her for information. And quite successfully, too. However, he hadn’t just persuaded her to answer his questions, she had actually snapped, and that bugged him. <em>Am I once again the cause of the end of a friendship? Have I once again managed to push away the one person who cares about me? </em></p><p>As he wrote down his doubts, he realised how dangerous it could be if anyone in his time read his thoughts, so he vanished them as soon as he was finished.<br/>
Closing the cover of the book with a snap, he looked at the clock on the wall. It was half past eleven already, time for bed, since his time-table had an early morning scheduled; he would be accompanying Jonas to the Forbidden Forest, collecting potions ingredients and simultaneously studying NEWT-level plants for Herbology.</p><p>For a while he sat with his hands in his head as he gathered the courage to enter the bedroom where he would have to face Hermione and her snark. If he was lucky, she would already be asleep, but knowing his luck, he didn’t actually hope for that chance. More likely would be a situation with Hermione fully awake but completely ignoring him. Snark he could deal with, but ignoring was the worst. With Lily, it had meant the end of their friendship.</p><p>Rubbing his eyes, he stood and put away his empty tea mug before he went to the bedroom. What he saw was far worse than he could’ve anticipated, though. The witch was not only ignoring him, but she had actually gone as far as putting up a second privacy screen.<br/>
<em>This is it then. Yet again the end of a friendship.</em></p><p>Blinking away some unexpected tears, he marched past the divider and into the bathroom, pulling the door shut with a thud. Whilst brushing his teeth the Muggle way, he looked himself in the eye, using the full-length mirror next to the door.<br/>
He hadn’t cried in years, not after he had shed his last tears for the death of his friendship with Lily. His father’s actions hadn’t caused him to cry ever since he had reached the age of thirteen and he had gotten used to caring for his disabled mother after having to deal with her incontinence and all that her disability entailed for two consecutive school breaks.<br/>
So no, he wouldn’t start crying now. Soon he would be back in his own time anyway, he didn’t need Hermione as his friend. Tom and Lucius would be waiting for him when he got back, though he probably wouldn’t tell them about his little trip. He wasn’t sure it would go over well if he told Tom he had wandered about twenty one years into the future as the older wizard tended to get extremely aggressive when he got envious. And traveling to the future was without doubt something that would cause him to be jealous.</p><p>After he got ready for bed he re-entered the bedroom and slipped under the sheets. When he held his own breath, he could hear the witch’s breathing on the other side of the curtain. It wasn’t deep and steady enough for someone asleep. </p><p>“Goodnight,” Severus said, trying to offer a proverbial olive-branch. Though he didn’t even know if he should be apologising, he couldn’t help but try to make amends and save his friendship. He could at least try, right?</p><p>There came no reaction, though. </p><p><em>That’s what you get for getting too involved</em>, he thought bitterly as he waited till sleep took him in.</p><p>o0o</p><p>In the morning, Hermione woke up feeling rather refreshed. Her nightly mullings hadn’t gotten her anywhere, but in the end she had gathered the rational part of her brain and pushed past her bad mood mostly caused by self-doubt. It wasn’t fair on Severus to act so irascible only because he had asked a few questions - she did the same all the time - and because she hadn’t been able to deny him. </p><p>When she got out of the bedroom, ready for the day, the living room was completely deserted. Walking over to the kitchen she transfigured a shopping list back to its original form and Severus’ schedule told her he was in the Forbidden Forest with Jonas.<br/>
After replacing the spell to hide the evidence of Severus’ presence in her quarters, she fixed herself her morning tea and two slices of toast as she went over her scheduled activities for the day in her head. Till lunch she would take over Jonas’ study groups for first and second-years as he was attending other business, and after lunch she would be revising with Severus.</p><p>She was really looking forward to seeing her first and second-years again.<br/>
Over the course of the last nine days, she had begun to miss their innocence and their ignorance; Severus didn’t need anyone to tell him what to do when brewing potions, and she had missed being of real help. The fact that this was just a Sunday-morning study group didn’t bother her. If anything, it meant she would get even more questions because only the students who were motivated to brush-up their grades a bit attended the study groups.</p><p>Her after-lunch activities also promised to be interesting as Severus was scheduled to go over his Charms homework. The boy was, of course, also quite talented in that field and last time he had successfully performed a non-verbal and wandless Vinegar-to-Wine charm and to his credit, the wine had been rich, velvety and sweet, the deep red colour had been intoxicating, it had been absolutely perfect. Hermione knew she wasn’t able to cast the charm like that and she doubted even Flitwick himself could compete with Severus’ heavenly creation.</p><p> </p><p>Hermione’s morning hadn’t been overly eventful; the first-years had written their essays on the use of Wiggentree bark, the second-years had prepared their ingredients for the Sleeping Draught they would be brewing the next class. However, both classes had been happy to have her fill in for a day as their actual Professor had the tendency to sigh and curse a lot when he got annoyed with them. It wasn’t as if Jonas was anywhere near being as cruel as Professor Snape had been, for he didn’t blatantly insult his students or treated them unfairly, but he was a bit impatient and a deep sigh from their teacher was enough for an eleven year old to make them doubt their entire existence. Mind you, the Potions Master really liked the kids and he loved to help them with that little extra they needed for a good mark, but he also loved having a lay-in on a lazy Sunday, and those morning study groups every other week rendered him a bit prickly.</p><p>After attending lunch in the Great Hall for a change, Hermoine went back to Jonas' private lab. As she was conjuring the last glass tank they would need for Severus’ Charms revisions, the door behind her swung open. Turning around, she saw nothing that could have caused the door to open, but it closed again, Severus appeared from thin air. </p><p>“Severus, good, you’re here,” Hermione said cheerily as she turned back to finish the last wall of the tank.</p><p>The boy didn’t respond as he stalked across the lab and seated himself at his usual spot, pulling out his books.</p><p>“Oh you don’t need those,” Hermione smiled. “We’re going to do a bit of practical revising.”</p><p>Severus ignored her, opening his books and unscrolling his parchment.</p><p>“Has some ingredient from the Forest made you deaf?” Hermione knew her voice was laced with irritation, but she didn’t like the boy’s attitude. He had shown he was able to behave like a normal human being with awfully cheery the day before, so he had no reason to behave like this now. </p><p>
  <em>Bugger.</em>
</p><p>Of course he had reason to ignore her; while he had been in an uncharacteristically good mood, she had been snarling at him like some bitch. Knowing how distrusting the boy was, she had probably ruined all the trust he’d had in her with her antics. Hell, he probably thought she had revoked their friendship altogether. </p><p>Warily she made her way from the tank to the work station beside Severus. As she sat down on the wooden stool, she took her time studying the boy’s face. His brow was furrowed, his eyes trained on the parchment in front of him as he continued slashing ink black as the night across it like there wasn’t some witch watching him.</p><p>“Severus,” Hermione started, making sure her tone was soft and void of any annoyance. “I think I owe you an apology.”</p><p>Of course that wasn’t enough, as he didn’t look up or gave any other indication he had heard her.</p><p>“I’m sorry I treated you like shit yesterday.”</p><p>Now the boy met her eyes, the crease on his forehead still visible but Hermione noted only one of his eyebrows was raised, presumably because he was surprised to hear her using the word ‘shit’. He tilted his head as if saying she should continue.</p><p>“I did treat you like shit,” she said. “And I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair.”</p><p>“It’s fine,” Severus replied after a few seconds of staring at each other.</p><p>He made a move to return to his work, but Hermione reached out and grasped his writing hand.</p><p>“No, it’s not,” she insisted. “I acted horribly and I shouldn’t have.”</p><p>Severus' eyes flitted from hers to their joined hands.</p><p>“Unhand me,” was all he said as he jerked away and went back to his writing.</p><p>“No, please!” Hermione knew she sounded desperate, but she refused to be yet another reason for the boy to distrust any form of kindness because he didn’t want it to be thrown in his face once he let his walls down. “Please just listen.”</p><p>Severus didn’t look up, but his hand paused.</p><p>“I was a terrible friend to you,” Hermione said. “And I’m sorry, Severus, I am.”</p><p>“I said it was fine,” Severus said, his eyes cast downward.</p><p>Hermione sighed, but decided to let the matter rest; if she pressed on, the only thing she would achieve was pushing him further away. No, words wouldn’t help her, she had to make up for her behaviour in some other way. </p><p>Also giving up her plans on charm practise, she summoned her research books from the adjoining study and settled in for a study session instead. She didn’t get anywhere, though, because she was still cursing herself for being so stupid. She had promised Severus to never hurt him like she had before on the fifth day, but because she had been so deep in her self-wallowing, she had hurt him again. Shaking her head to repel those thoughts because they wouldn’t help her, she resolved to find some way to make it up to Severus, to show him she was still his friend. Completely foregoing with her research, she began to plan.</p><p>o0o</p><p>After dinner, which had diligently been made by Severus, despite their misunderstanding, as Hermione labeled it in her head, Hermione put her plan in motion.</p><p>“Are you up for a little walk?” she asked Severus, breaking the tensed silence which had hung in the air between them ever since she had tried to apologise for her behaviour that afternoon.</p><p>“I can’t leave this room,” he replied stiffly, keeping his eyes on the book he was reading, but Hermione hadn’t seen his eyes move for quite some time now.</p><p>“You can and you’ve done so before when we go to the lab or this morning when you went to the Forest,” Hermione pointed out. She wouldn’t let herself be put down that easily.</p><p>“And where would you suggest I go then?” </p><p>“You can follow me?” she suggested, looking intently at the boy. </p><p>“And why should I do that?” it came from behind the novel.</p><p>“Because you want to accompany a friend?” Hermione tried.</p><p>Finally the book came down and Severus met her gaze. His face was unreadable.</p><p>“What are you planning, witch?” he demanded as he narrowed his eyes at her.</p><p>Hermione fought the urge to roll her eyes. <em>Always so dramatic.</em></p><p>“If you follow me, you’ll see,” she simply said as she stood and went to the door.</p><p>When Severus didn’t move, she turned around, her hand already on the handle.</p><p>“Are you coming?” she asked.</p><p>“I’m not allowed.”</p><p>Now Hermione did roll her eyes. “Just Disillusion yourself and follow me. I won’t tell if you won’t.”</p><p>She heard him letting out a deep breath, but he placed his copy of Ovid’s <em>Metamorphoses</em> on the table and got to his feet.</p><p>“Good choice,” Hermione said before she could help herself, but she didn’t regret her remark after she noticed the quirk of Severus’ left eyebrow. </p><p>Still baffled by Severus’ ability to cast such a powerful Disillusionment charm both wandlessly and non-verbally, Hermione opened the door and walked out. Since she couldn’t see him, she could only hope Severus would indeed follow her, but as they made their way through the castle she felt his eyes on her. That was the only thing she had to tell if he hadn’t taken off because the wizard moved with such grace there was absolutely no sound coming from him. Not even climbing five flights of stairs caused him to breath louder or walk with a heavier footfall.<br/>
When Hermione reached her destination, she looked over her shoulder to see if no one saw her entering the door, but fortunately the corridor was completely deserted. Then she remembered every student and staff member was still in the Great Hall listening to McGonagall’s weekly announcements and news updates. The updates were part of the Headmistress' way to show the school she wouldn’t be like Dumbledore, keeping everyone in the dark about the most important things, but they mostly consisted of mundane reports on the Hospital Wing’s potions stock or the state of Sprout’s mandrake’s. Well, at least McGonagall was trying, Hermione figured.</p><p>After making sure absolutely no one could see her going in, she opened the door and stepped inside, giving Severus the time to follow her before she closed the door and warded it for extra safety measures. It was a bit redundant, because she could just as easily order the room to keep all sounds in and all persons out, but placing her own wards added a sense of security.</p><p>Hermione looked around the Room of Requirement which wasn’t the large hall it had been when they had been dueling. Now, it looked like the barroom of a brown café, rugs, bookshelves and worn-down Chesterfields included. The only thing that differed from your standard pub was the grand piano on the left side of the room.<br/>
Hermione turned to see Severus’ reaction, when she realised she still couldn’t see him, so she didn’t actually know if he was there with her. Slowly turning on her heels, Hermione tried to see if she could tell his presence by the usual tell-tale shimmer, but she knew Severus’ charm was far too stable to give him away like that.<br/>
Clearly, he had noticed her confusion because a second later there was a ripple in the air and Severus came into view. He wasn’t where she had expected him to be, though, still be by the door, as he apparently had walked past her to the piano in the corner where he was standing now, watching her.</p><p>“Do you like it?” she asked tentatively.</p><p>“What is this?” he countered her question.</p><p>“You’ve never seen a piano before?” Hermione laughed as she went to him.</p><p>Severus rolled his eyes at her, but didn’t say anything. </p><p>“This is my way of apologising,” Hermione said. “I really was a bitch yesterday.”</p><p>For a moment she wasn’t sure if he liked her idea, his face was as indecipherable as always, but then his left eyebrow quirked upward and his black eyes softened.</p><p>“You told me you could play the piano, so I thought maybe if you find it in your heart to forgive me, you could play me something,” she said softly.</p><p>There was an amused look on his face before he went around the piano and sat down at the little bench. </p><p>“You said you liked Tchaikovsky?” he inquired as he caressed the keys. Hermione didn’t know anything about pianos, but she could tell the boy was completely mesmerised by this one.</p><p>To his question, she nodded. “I do.”</p><p>“Good,” he said, settling his hands on the keys and his right foot on the right pedal.</p><p>Then he began to play and Hermione was sure she had never heard something as beautiful as that. She was more than familiar with the ballet pieces written by the Russion componist, but she hadn’t heard this piece before.<br/>
It was gentle, delightful and lovely, and the way Severus’ hands moved across the keys was equally alluring. It wasn’t unlike the way he prepared his potions, carefully, but confident. He knew what he was doing.</p><p>After only a minute and a half it was done, but Hermione felt like she could listen to it forever.</p><p>“I love that,” she said earnestly. “What else can you play?”</p><p>Severus dropped his hands into his lap and looked at her with a shy smile on his face. </p><p>“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Hermione said quickly. “I just thought you would like the chance to play a bit since you’re all holed up all the time.”</p><p>However, at her reassurance she wasn’t pressuring him into anything, the corner of his lips curled upward and he inclined his head as if accepting her apology. Then he started to play again.</p><p>This time it was a bit slower, but still light in the beginning before it grew a bit more intense, though still light, in the middle only to diffuse again at the end. It was simply beautiful.<br/>
When the song ended, this time Severus needed no encouragement. After he glanced at Hermione, he repositioned his hands and started again. </p><p>This song was nothing like the two previous ones. The instant it started, it sounded heavy and severe, almost like Severus was pushing all of his anger into the piano keys. Still, it was absolutely beautiful. It was, well, like music to her ears.</p><p>Hermione walked backwards till the back of her legs met the Chesterfield sofa and she sat down, curling her legs under her. Leaning back, she let her eyes roam over the wizard and as she studied him, she saw something she hadn’t seen on him before.<br/>
It was almost like he was relaxed. The way he sat, with his back straight, elbows pressed to his sides, knees in ninety degree angles, you wouldn’t come to that conclusion, but it was something in his eyes that told Hermione he was relaxed in a way he wasn’t often.<br/>
Hermione knew him to be collected, composed, but not calm like that. His eyes weren’t as piercing as usual, but still focused, and though completely straight, his back wasn’t full of tension, his shoulders not frigid, but merely squared. It was weird to see him so laid-back, but Hermione had to admit it was a rather good look on him. It made him look like his actual age of seventeen for a change, instead of looking like a haunted twenty-something year old with his severe complexion. </p><p>After the third song had ended, he just went on to the next one, completely immersed by the music. Hermione was glad she could do this for him.<br/>
This song he started using only his right hand, but after only a few notes, his left hand joined in. Hermione just sat back and listened as the song progressed. There was something hopeful but also a certain kind of sadness or longing, a bit like sitting on the windowsill in the dead of the night all by your own, watching the moon. </p><p> </p><p>When Severus finished playing the fourth song, he paused and looked up, meeting Hermione’s eyes. </p><p>“Thank you,” he said. “I haven’t been able to play like that since last Summer.”</p><p>“You’re quite welcome,” Hermione smiled softly. “And thank you for sharing your music with me.”</p><p>Severus gave her a curt nod which made Hermione giggle a bit. Now that he had stopped playing and there was no music to lose himself to, he was back to his rigid self. </p><p>“You don’t have to stop yet,” Hermione said. “If you want you can play a bit longer. I’ll just keep myself busy. Just pretend I’m not here.”</p><p>“I won’t do that,” Severus replied without looking away.</p><p>“Oh, that’s okay, you don’t have t-” Hermione started, when Severus interrupted her.</p><p>“I will play some more, thank you for letting me,” he corrected himself. “But what I won’t do is pretend you’re not here. You’re my friend. I won’t do that to you.”</p><p>
  <em>Ouch. Fair enough, though.</em>
</p><p>“You’re my friend, too, Severus,” she said. “Thank you for letting me listen to you.”</p><p>She didn’t miss the way his black eyes twinkled as she accepted his friendship before he turned back to the piano and began to play again.<br/>
Though she’d never had the intention to end their friendship, she knew how important this confirmation was to him, not only their exchanged words, but this moment they shared. </p><p>“So I take it you've accepted my apology?” Hermione couldn’t help but ask after the fifth song.</p><p>“Do shut up, witch,” was all Severus said as he started on the next, but from her spot on the sofa, Hermione had an excellent view on him.</p><p>He was smiling.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Songs Severus plays:</p><p>1. Tchaikovsky opus 39<br/>2. satie gymnopédie no. 1<br/>3. Rachmaninoff Relude in C-sharp minor, opus 3, no. 2<br/>4. Chopin nocturne no. 1 in b-flat minor, op 9, no. 1</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter ten - Aguamenti</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Time for some Charms practise!<br/>And did some of you wonder where Severus learned to play the piano like that?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day after the piano concert, all was good again, and if anything it had brought them closer together. Hermione made sure she didn’t use Severus as her emotional doormat, and Severus, much to Hermione’s surprise, opened up a bit.<br/>
During their progressing friendship Severus had mellowed out a bit already, but after he had played the piano for almost an hour, the music relaxing him immensely, some of that serenity had stayed. He was still as focused as before and a bit austere, but he wasn’t as indifferent and cold anymore. He looked far more at ease, with his situation, but also with himself.<br/>
Hermione thought it suited him.</p><p>Hermione and Severus were cleaning up after breakfast, something they did together by hand as a form of bonding or something (Hermione had come up with that idea in the early days). An amicable silence hung between them as Hermione cleaned the dishes and Severus dried them off and put them away. </p><p>“So I was wondering,” Hermione began hesitantly. She knew Severus didn’t like prying questions, but she couldn’t keep her mind off it ever since he had mentioned his skill.</p><p>“How surprising,” he deadpanned as he rolled his eyes at her.</p><p>“Yes, so I was wondering,” Hermione repeated, ignoring the eye-roll. “Where did you learn to play like that? Hogwarts doesn't have music classes.”</p><p>“I taught myself.”</p><p>Hermione stopped cleaning the frying pan to look at him. “Where? At Hogwarts?”</p><p>Severus rolled his eyes again. “Have you ever seen a piano at Hogwarts apart from the one yesterday?”</p><p>“No, but I don’t know what Hogwarts has to offer in ‘78,” Hermione responded as she went back to her scrubbing again like the pan had personally offended her.</p><p>The wizard sighed as he put away their two plates with one hand and pinched the bridge of his nose with the other. “And Merlin forbid Hermione Granger doesn’t know something.”</p><p>“I don’t know loads of things,” Hermione said, her eyes trained on the soapy mess in the sink.</p><p>Severus mock-gasped. “You admit to not knowing <em>loads</em> of things? I think I have to call the Prophet. No, scrap that, I have to call all the papers!”</p><p>When Hermione caught sight of his black eyes twinkling instead of their usual glittering, she rolled her eyes at him.</p><p>“Do shut up, wizard,” she shot at him, though there was no real heat behind her words.</p><p>“Oh like you always do, witch,” he quipped.</p><p>Hermione fully turned to face him, dishwashing brush pointed at him like a wand, making Severus put his hands in the air in a disarming manner. His eyes were full of mirth. Again, a good look on him Hermione found herself thinking. Almost carefree.</p><p>“I’ll just shut up,” he said quickly, eying the brush waving in his face. “Unless you want me to tell you about my piano playing experiences.”</p><p>At this point Hermione was debating whether she liked this casual Severus or if his cheek annoyed the hell out of her. She settled on the former, but that didn’t take the latter out of the question.</p><p>“You know I want you to tell me,” she said, keeping her eyes and the brush on him.</p><p>“Alright, witch, don’t get your knickers in a twist. I will tell you,” he said. “Just hand me that frying pan, it’s clean enough now. If you keep scrubbing it like you are, there won’t be much pan left to cook with.”</p><p>Rolling her eyes again, Hermione did what he asked before she unplugged the sink and went to prepare them both a cup of tea.</p><p>“I don’t know how much you actually know about me, but all you need to know that where I come from, an instrument is considered a luxury,” he finally said after he finished putting away the last dishes.</p><p>Hermione nodded for him to continue as they moved to the sitting area, two steaming mugs of tea floating behind them. They still had half an hour before they had to start their day. </p><p>“So...?” she encouraged him after they were both seated, nursing their tea between their hands.</p><p>“There’s a small library in town,” Severus said. “I help out sorting and shelving the books every Summer.” He left out the fact he only started working in that library in the first place was because he earned some money with it, and even those few pounds had to be enough to provide for himself. His father’s salary was mostly spended on liquor, or hospital bills when his mum needed treatment for her paralysis. Severus’ job was the reason the three of them had actual food on the table every night. </p><p>They both took a few sips of tea before he continued. </p><p>“Ever since I was little I used to visit the library and I always noticed the piano in the corner of the shop, collecting dust behind piles and piles of books. When I was ten, I visited the shop with a friend and this friend knew how much I wanted to play that piano. I didn’t know how at the time, but it was like the piano called for me, reeled me in. I never had the guts to ask the librarian if I could play, though, so my friend asked instead."</p><p>"How did you know to play if you hadn't before?" Hermione asked him when he paused to sip on his tea.</p><p>"I didn't," he said matter of factly, but brushing past that and continuing his story.</p><p>“The librarian, not unlike Pince, for your imaging, was a stern old lady, but she knew me from my earlier visits. Apparently she had kept an eye out for me ever since I began to visit frequently. She said a little boy like me shouldn’t be reading in a dusty corner day in day out, but be out playing with peers. She did let me play, though, and since then I played for a full hour every time I visited the library, using the piano scores the library had to teach myself.”</p><p>Hermione was silent for a moment as she finished her tea, and Severus began to wonder if he had shared too much, if he had talked too long. He didn’t like it when people broke out in soliloquies, but he just had done that himself. It was just a very fond memory.<br/>
The witch, however, wasn’t judging him for anything, she was just processing. She wasn't sure if she had ever heard the boy say so many words in one go, but she decided she wouldn't mind if he did it again. Though she could tell Severus wasn't particular comfortable talking about himself, it was obvious he hadn't just shared a story with her. He had shared a memory, which he probably relived with perfect recall while he told it.<br/>
The way he told his story was almost like a lullaby, not because it was boring, but because his deep and velvety voice could just charm you into a state of relaxation. And his voice aside, Hermione thought about the actual words he had spoken. On the surface it was just a story about a young boy wanting to play the piano, but if you read between the lines, the story was rather revealing for someone as closed off as Severus.<br/>
She knew he frequented the library ever since he was little, but was too shy to just ask if he could play the piano. He had talked about ‘this friend’, but he had also let it slip he hadn’t many other friends, judging by that librarian. As far as Hermione was concerned, it wasn’t just a story about a boy and a piano, but a story about a lonely boy seeking refuge, first in books, then in music. It made a lot of sense, actually, Severus had such a passion for the piano. Listening to music could carry you to another world, away from surroundings, let alone what playing music could do.</p><p>“Thank you for telling me,” she said eventually. “I really like that story. Good thing your friend was there.”</p><p>She didn’t notice the sad smile that made a short appearance on Severus’ face as she stood. It was almost half past eight and time for her to continue her research, which she had to do without Jonas, because he had cancelled on her during their meeting the day before. She hadn’t heard from him since, and that kind of bugged her. She was making great progress on her dissertation project and her mentor wasn’t there to assist her.</p><p>Severus got to his feet as well, still reminiscing his days in the library. Yes, it was a good thing Lily had been with him to ask if he could finally play that piano. He also appreciated the fact that Hermione had been satisfied with his story alone and hadn’t pressed him for any details. He wasn’t sure if he could’ve given them, for he had tried to be as vague as possible about everything to keep from oversharing his miserable childhood and home situation. It was bad enough he had let it slip his mother was disabled and his father an abusive dick, he didn’t need her to know any extra specifics on his life. It wasn’t as if he didn’t trust her with that information, he did, but he just wasn’t comfortable sharing those parts of his life. He didn’t want her to pity him. Though there were moments he had thought she would, but she hadn’t then, so there was a chance she wouldn’t if he shared a bit more about himself. To him, that chance wasn’t big enough, though, so his Slytherin characteristics kicked in, and he kept to himself, self-preserving like the Snake he was.</p><p>o0o</p><p>While Hermione spent her morning in up in the lab, Severus stayed down in the dungeons to do some Transfiguration practise. He had gathered all kinds of objects and placed them on the round dinner table; different sized cups, plates and pots, novels, a pillow and a boot, soon they wouldn’t be just random objects.</p><p>His morning flew past as the cups were changed into one considerable sized scale model of the solar system, the plates and pots turned into colourful maori masks and the pillow and the boot both into stuffed animals. When he was done, he was left feeling rather confident on his Transfiguration skills.</p><p>After having lunch by himself and he was debating what to do with his transfigured objects, Hermione tumbled through the Floo. Alarmed, Severus raced to her side, grabbing her by the shoulders to steady her while checking her for any signs of injury. There were none.</p><p>“Are you alright?” he asked warily.</p><p>To his surprise, the witch yanked herself from his grasp and stomped into the room. She was furious.</p><p>Severus frowned. “What is it?” </p><p>“Gods!” she exclaimed exasperated. “Why don’t they tell me these kinds of things?”</p><p>Severus knew better than to press her, so he waited patiently for her to continue. She didn’t disappoint him.</p><p>Fuming, she started pacing. “It’s Jonas. I haven’t spoken to him since yesterday morning.” </p><p>Tilting his head to the right, Severus just remained in his spot by the hearth. Knowing the witch, there was a considerable chance she would start hexing things to let off some steam any second now and he wasn’t about to get caught in the crossfire. As far as he knew, it wasn’t anything strange for a Professor to go off the radar for a day or two, but given the fact the Potions Master was rather invested in his apprentice, it was a bit unusual for him to vanish without notice to Hermione. Still, only a day had passed since their last contact; a day was nothing.</p><p>“I admit I was a bit put out that he didn’t make time to see my progress, but he insisted something from utmost importance needed his attention. He didn’t say what, though.” Hermione kept pacing. Severus just watched her.</p><p>“Turns out,” she continued, “he’s in France!”</p><p>Now Severus arched an eyebrow. <em>Why would the Professor be in France? Had his former employer, Beauxbaton, called for his assistance?</em></p><p>“Bloody France,” the witch seethed. “McGonagall won’t even tell me when he’ll be back! She just said all his classes were covered by the other teachers and we have to carry on with our own studies. Of course I can continue my research without my mentor, but at least a little warning would’ve been nice. Merlin knows how long he’ll be gone for!”</p><p>So Hermione didn’t know the reason behind his travel, either, Severus concluded from this. He let the witch pace and grumble some more while he seated himself in one of the armchairs. Interrupting her now would only offend her and result in her directing her anger on him. </p><p>After longer than he’d expected her to keep bristling, her outrage finally died out. </p><p>“Let’s just get on with your studies, shall we,” she proposed, sounding a bit deflated. “We skipped your Charms practise yesterday.” </p><p>o0o</p><p>As Hermione marched down the halls back to the lab, her mind kept going back to Jonas and France. She hadn’t told Severus, but she knew with almost one hundred percent certainty the Potions Master had responded to an invitation from the French Ministry of Magic. He was trying to acquire a time-turner.<br/>
What she didn’t know was why he hadn’t told her about his little trip, and why he hadn’t taken Severus with him. When McGonagall had explained the plan to her, the Headmistress had insisted Jonas would leave the instant he heard back from either the Netherlands or France. She wanted to see immediate action. However, traveling by himself instead of taking Severus with him, Severus’ travel back in time would be delayed by at least a day.<br/>
Perhaps the French Minister of Magic didn’t want a student of Hogwarts wandering around his country, or maybe Jonas didn’t feel comfortable traveling alone with the boy. Whatever the reason, Hermione didn’t like the fact she was being kept out of the loop. McGonagall only told her about her mentor’s whereabouts after she herself had insisted on Jonas’ presence during the next stage of her project; the Headmistress hadn’t even been planning on telling her, let alone Severus, and he was the one person this whole ordeal was about.</p><p>Making her way from the dungeons up to the lab, she barely had eye for the students who were on their way to their classes. Some seventh-years greeted her in passing, but she didn’t notice.<br/>
Severus, who was walking a few paces behind her, his Disillusionment charm in place, heard them muttering words like ‘arrogant’ and ‘stuck-up’ when he walked past them.</p><p>With more force than she had intended, Hermione slammed open the door to the lab. The wood banged against the stone wall, the sound audible all the way down the hall.</p><p>“Take out your wand,” she sighed to Severus, in an effort to keep her voice void of her frustrations. After the day before she had vowed to herself to not let her emotions carry her away and cause a rift between Severus and her again.</p><p>As the wizard lifted his Disillusionment charm, he came into view, his wand already in hand. He wasn’t looking at her, though; he was eyeing the large glass tank that was still placed in the middle of the lab. It was big enough to pose as a glass bathtub. </p><p>“We’re going to cover the Water-Making charm and the Bubble-Head charm,” Hermione explained, getting into teacher-mode, pushing her contemplations aside. “The Water-Making charm lets us produce a stream of water, mostly not greater than a stream out of a tap, but with the right intent we can use the charm to blow someone off their socks.”</p><p>She paused to see if Severus understood. He inclined his head for her to continue.</p><p>“You will fill the tank with water with your wand, but you have to do it non-verbally. After, we will move on to the Bubble-Head charm.”</p><p>She went over to one of the work stations and pulled out a wooden stool from underneath. Dragging it to the glass tank, she sat down and looked expectantly at the boy.</p><p>He just looked right back, arching his left eyebrow at her. When she didn’t move, he rolled his eyes at her, but he approached the glass tub.<br/>
He seemed to study the dimensions for a minute, tilting his head from left to right as the crease of concentration appeared on his forehead. Then, he lifted his wand and water burst out of the tip with so much force the water splashed on the side of the tank, soaking Hermione.</p><p>She shrieked as the cold water washed over her, but Severus just smirked at her as he continued to fill the tank. In less than a minute the tank was filled to the brim.</p><p>“Sorry for getting you wet,” he said to her, not sounding apologetic in the slightest.</p><p>“Yes, thanks a lot,” Hermione muttered as she felt the blood rise in her cheeks at his double entendre. Pointing his wand at her, he didn’t seem to notice or if he did, he didn’t let it show.<br/>
In an instant, Hermione felt a warm breath wave through her clothes and three seconds later she was completely dry again.</p><p> “Thanks,” she said a bit lamely.</p><p>“But of course, Miss Granger,” he teased. “Now what would you have me do next?”</p><p>Hermione didn’t miss the tone in his voice. It was quite obvious he felt these charms were beneath him. Well, she would put him in his place soon. It would feel way too good to pass on the opportunity to show Severus Snape who was in charge. The icy water had only been a wake-up call for her to move on from her inner mullings about France and get on with her tutelage. </p><p>“Now, you will practise the Bubble-Head charm,” she said.  “Your NEWT requires you to perform it without saying the incantation, so you will cast the spell nonverbally.”</p><p>“Obviously.”</p><p>Hermione rolled her eyes at him, but carried on, fighting the urge to laugh.</p><p>“After you’ve cast the charm, you’ll check the stability of your spellwork by putting your head in the tub,” she smiled sweetly at the wizard who narrowed his eyes on her. “If you’ve cast it successfully, you’ll be able to breathe underwater and your head will dry.”</p><p>“Are you mad?” It was rhetorical. “Go do it yourself!”</p><p>“No...” she said as if considering his words, “No, I’m not. In fact, I’m quite serious. Cast the spell and stick your head in the water.”</p><p>When he didn’t move, she decided to push him a bit; a bit of encouragement, she called it.</p><p>“If you’re as good as you claim you are, the water won’t even touch you,” she pointed out. “And besides, if you mess up, it’s only water. You sprayed me with the same liquid and I’m still alive.”</p><p>The way he glared at her, she knew she had him. “Well, go on then.”</p><p>The look he gave her was hilarious, and though the exact same look had terrified her in her early student days, now it just made her laugh. The image of Severus Snape with his head down a glass tank filled with ice-cold water didn’t help her either. She didn’t even think about him as a Professor, the thought of the stark and stubborn boy alone was enough.</p><p>“Oh come on,” she said, holding back her laughter. “Just do it. Get it over with and I won’t press you any further.”</p><p>“Bloody witch,” she heard him mutter as he pinched the bridge of his nose, in a decent impression of her mentor. “Why do I even bother…?”</p><p>However, after she raised her eyebrows at him, he held her gaze as he pointed his wand at himself and a bubble started to form around his head.</p><p>
  <em>Impressive.</em>
</p><p>“Let’s see if you were successful.” Hermione knew she had a big grin on her face, but she just couldn’t help herself.</p><p>o0o</p><p>Because of the bubble, Severus wasn’t able to react verbally, so he just intensified his scowl.<br/>
He knew this was part of Charms practise, but he didn’t like being ridiculed and the witch was taking far too much pleasure out of his suffering.<br/>
Well, to be fair, he was a bit exaggerating; while it was kind of funny to see someone sticking their head in a tub of water, he suspected Hermione’s mirth was for the most part caused by himself. He hadn’t missed her reaction to his glowering and he knew he didn’t have any good reason to be so opposed to her lesson. Flitwick taught the charm the exact same way.</p><p>Sighing, he averted his eyes and turned back to the tank. In the corner of his eye he saw Hermione lean forward, placing her elbows on her knees. The witch was enjoying this way too much.</p><p>With one last roll of his eyes, Severus got to his knees and inclined his head. </p><p>
  <em>Merlin’s sweaty bollocks!</em>
</p><p>Hermione hadn’t been overdoing it with her shriek as he had splashed her with the water. His head felt like it was stuck in an ice cube. The sharp intake of breath as his head was immersed by the water, told him his charm held up and that was all he needed to know. He pulled his head out of the tank again, and lifted his spell. </p><p>“Happy?” he questioned Hermione, but she was too busy collapsing in on herself with laughter.</p><p>“Yes, very funny,” he drawled. “Would you like to try for yourself? It’s very refreshing, good for the skin. We can take turns.”</p><p>“Severus,” the witch hiccuped between bursts of laughter. “You know you’re not done yet, right?”</p><p>He racked his brain, going over the requirements for the Charms NEWTS. </p><p>
  <em>Bugger.</em>
</p><p>Yes, casting a full Bubble-Head charm was one aspect of the list, but he’d forgotten the side-note which stated your charm had to hold up for at least five minutes. </p><p>
  <em>Bugger, indeed.</em>
</p><p>She meant for him to sit with his head in a tank of ice water for five full minutes<br/>
It was the only way to test if the charm was fully operative, and he knew the NEWT examiners would test it that way, too, but of course that knowledge didn’t make him like it any better.<br/>
Then a realisation dawned on him.</p><p>“You’re right,” he said, willing himself to stay calm. The witch wouldn’t know what hit her. “I did forget about the five minute condition. However, the rules don’t state the charm has to be tested by the caster of the spell.”</p><p>Hermione’s amusement died as she caught on.</p><p>“You’re right,” he repeated, his voice perfectly even. “I have to practise this charm. It’s a really important one. But since you’re the one who brought that to my attention, I think it’s only fair to let you be part of the fun, right?”</p><p>Now, it was Hermione’s turn to scowl. Clearly, she didn’t fancy the idea of being ‘part of the fun’.</p><p>“I think I’ll just cast the spell on you,” Severus went on. “And then, you can go sit with your head in the water for five minutes.”</p><p>He crossed his arms with a triumphant smirk on his face. <em>Not so funny now, eh?</em></p><p>o0o</p><p>Hermione shot him a deadly glare. This was not what she had planned, but she couldn’t argue with his logic. He was right, the conditions didn’t state specifically the charm had to be tested by the caster. It just always went that way.<br/>
She knew she could just refuse, he couldn’t make her do it, and in the end it would be his loss, since he was the one who had to perform the charm for the examiners. However, she didn’t want to pass on the chance to see Severus one more time with his head down the water, so she did what she did best. She used her brain and bargained.</p><p>“Alright,” she said. “You win. I’ll stick my head in the tank, but only if you do, too. Shared sorrow is half sorrow, right?”</p><p>“Right.”</p><p>By the sound of it, Severus didn’t agree in the slightest, but he must have realised theoretically she could just walk away. Not that she would, she had promised to help him with his NEWTS preparations and if she had to sit with her head in a tank of water, then so be it. Contrary to popular beliefs, she wasn’t as stuck-up as she had been at age eleven, and she didn’t mind getting her hands dirty to get a job done, or in this case, her head wet.<br/>
There was also a chance he had come to the same conclusion as she had; if he wanted her to suffer in the water, he had to put in a bit of effort of his own. Either way, she would get him there.</p><p>“We’re friends, right?” she asked him.</p><p>“Yes?” he hadn’t been expecting that question.</p><p>“So we’ll do it together,” Hermione said.</p><p>That pulled him over the line. He nodded his head and lifted his wand at her, encasing her head in a bubble, before casting the charm on himself.<br/>
Through the bubble, Hermione smiled at him, happy his annoyance with her was gone and happy she hadn’t thought about Jonas in quite some time.</p><p>She reached out and took his hand. As she got to her knees, she pulled him with her before letting go again.<br/>
With her on one side of the tank and him on the other, she met his gaze and after she saw the determined glint in his eyes, she leaned forward and stuck her head down the tub.<br/>
The ice cold water did nothing to her, though because she had cast a non-verbal and wandless Heating charm on her head just a split-second before her head met the water. It didn't warm the water in the slightest, she could still feel the pins and needles from the excessive cold slowsly progressing to overall numbness in her cheeks, but at least she wasn't shivering. And though the Bubble protected her head from actually getting wet, the strands of hair that weren't under the charm still swiveled around her in the water, licking her face.<br/>
She wondered if Severus had done the same; though indeed refreshing, she didn’t think it would be pleasant to have your head in water with such a low temperature for five full minutes. If he hadn’t that would be his own loss, though because the temperature wasn’t that low it could hurt, the only thing it would do was cause a headache after a minute or two.<br/>
Then she realised something, and as she looked around her in the water, her suspicion got confirmed. The bastard hadn’t followed her and she just sat with her head down a tub of water for almost a full minute already, all by herself.</p><p>Pulling back, her eyes searched for the wizard and when they fell on him, she couldn’t be more angry. He was laughing, actually laughing, out loud. In fact, he was laughing so hard, she thought she saw tears forming in his eyes. <em>The git</em>, she thought.</p><p>In all her fury, she forgot to lift the charm, so when she started to yell at him, only a warped babbling sound came out, like she was talking underwater.<br/>
Of course that made Severus laugh even harder and she saw him wiping his eyes.</p><p>Quickly undoing the spell, she stomped her foot. </p><p>“This is not funny!” she seethed. “Why would you do that to me?!”</p><p>It took a while for Severus to contain his laughter so he could answer her, but his explanation made it hard for Hermione to maintain her outrage. She wasn’t actually mad at him, she was just miffed he got one on her.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he laughed. “I am, but you were having way too much fun when you thought it would be me sitting with my head in ice water for five minutes. At least now you know what it was like.”</p><p>Hermione had to give it to him; it hadn’t been nice of her to laugh at him like she had. Now <em>he</em> was laughing at <em>her</em> and her first reaction had been to shout at him.<br/>
Still, it stung that he had beaten her at her own game. </p><p>“Fine,” she conceded. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I was a bitch, again.”</p><p>Severus chuckled at the profanity. It still amazed her that the surly boy cracked up everytime she cursed.</p><p>“Thanks for showing me, though,” she said, meaning it.</p><p>“You’re absolutely welcome,” he replied, his eyes still full of mirth. “When you need me to show you again, just say the word.”</p><p>“Oh do shut up, wizard,” Hermione rolled her eyes.</p><p>“Never, witch.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>the next one has some action and dueling because I like writing about them using magic way too much</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter eleven - the Fwooper’s song</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hermione and Severus decide to pay a visit to the Forbidden Forest. A duel follows.<br/>The Headmasters are not amused.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter eleven - the Fwooper’s song</h1><p>“Severus?” Hermione asked from behind her desk on the other side of the room.</p><p>“Hm?” was all Severus responded from his usual spot by the hearth.</p><p>While Spring’s sun made a quite frequent appearance already, the dungeons were still a little cold and clammy in the evenings without a fire going on.<br/>
Instead of sitting in one of the leather armchairs or on the sofa, Severus preferred to sit directly in front of the fire, his back against the coffee table, his legs crossed under him. The way the heat fell on his face always managed to warm him both physically and emotionally, enveloping him into a cloud of warm air.</p><p>After dinner Hermione and Severus had both retreated to the opposite directions of the living quarters, not because they were mad with each other - they had done plenty of that already over the course of Severus’ stay -, but because they just needed some time to themselves.</p><p>o0o</p><p>That morning they had gone deep into the Forbidden Forest in search of the flock of African Fwoopers that had been traveling across Britain, so Severus could familiarise himself with the vibrantly feathered birds in preparation of his Care of Magical Creatures NEWT. Jonas was still in France and Hermione had shown him how to approach them safely, which was to say without getting nuts from their insanity-inducing song. Unlike the handling of a Mandrake, ear muffs weren’t enough to protect your ear ossicles from the Fwoopers. </p><p>“The second we enter the clearing, we’ll be exposed to their song, so we have to cast our Deafening spell now,” Hermione said.</p><p>Severus nodded. They had gone over this three times already on their way to the edge of the clearing the flock supposedly occupied.<br/>
Hagrid had told Hermione he’d seen the birds at that exact same clearing the day before, but his umbrella-wand situation made the game-keeper unable to perform a Deafening charm properly, so he had just left them alone, running back to his hut, as he covered his ears with his hands the best he could. It had been enough for the three seconds he had been in their vicinity, but for Hermione and Severus, it would end very badly if they went about it the same way.</p><p>Despite the risk of lunacy, Hermione had insisted they went to see the Fwoopers, saying they couldn’t possibly let an opportunity for Severus to study the rare creatures pass. However, Severus suspected she just wanted to see the birds for herself, but he was fine with it either way. </p><p>Though, highly unlikely he would be faced with one, the Fwoopers were indeed part of the NEWT curriculum, but that hadn’t been the main reason he had agreed to come. A large part in that decision had been the fact that when he had debated between staying inside reading Ovid, and having a little field trip with Hermione, the latter had sounded the most tempting. So the fact that he’d chosen company over reading in silence, in addition to the fact he liked a chance to get out of the castle again, resulted in the fact he was now standing in the middle of the Forbidden Forest, on the edge of the grounds of Hogwarts, with Hermione as his only company.<br/>
It wasn’t as if Dumbledore warned the student body time and time again not to enter the Forest  unless you wanted to ‘die a most painful death’. Surely, entering one of Hogwarts most dangerous places with only the tiny witch to have his back was a great idea, right? What could go wrong in a forest that was packed to the brim with all kinds of deadly animals? </p><p>“After we’ve cast the spell, you have to keep your eyes on me, alright?” Hermione continued. “Just follow my lead and we’ll be fine. Return to this spot immediately if you feel even a hint that suggests you’re affected by the birds’ songs.”</p><p>Pinching the bridge of his nose, Severus sighed, “Yes, I know. We’ve been over this.”</p><p>“Are you really blaming me for wanting to make sure we stay safe?” </p><p>“Are you serious?” he rolled his eyes. “If we wait any longer, we won’t have to worry about the Fwoopers anymore; some other creature will have gotten to us already.”</p><p>Eyeing her, he could tell by the look on her face, she had come to realise that as well. To her credit, she refrained from making a snarky comment, pointing her already drawn wand at her head instead.</p><p>“<em>Exaudio!</em>” she said, taking away her ability to hear. She motioned for him to do the same before she slowly entered the clearing.</p><p>Not wanting to be left behind, Severus quickly Deafened himself and followed.<br/>
The second he stepped onto the glade, he felt some a shimmer of magic wash over him, so he swiftly cast a non-verbal Shielding Charm, just in case. Seven years of being chased and ambushed by the Marauders had taught him to be cautious.<br/>
Alarmed, he reached out to touch Hermione’s shoulder, trying to get her attention, but her eyes were fixed on a purple ball of fluff in a tree on the other side of the clearing. He tapped her shoulder again, but she didn’t react; she just crept closer to the tree, not lifting her eyes from the Fwooper for a second. Only when she stood right under the branch occupied by the purple ball of feathers, she halted. </p><p>Still suspicious about that shimmer he’d felt, Severus went to her and he took her gently by the arm, forcing her to look at him. What he saw shocked him. </p><p>Clearly, her ignoring his attempt to get her attention wasn’t just because she was merely mesmerised by the admittedly beautiful Fwooper. No, she had a haunted look in her eyes.<br/>
The whites of her eyes were blood-shot, her irises barely visible as her pupils were fully dilated. </p><p>
  <em>Not good.</em>
</p><p>Quickly Severus weighed his options.<br/>
Hermione’s state could’ve been caused by the birds, but that shimmer of magic he’d felt, meant the presence of at least some other magical being; humans weren’t the only ones able to perform magic after all.<br/>
First things, first, he decided. If it really was just the effect of the Fwooper’s song, all he needed to do was to get her away from the Fwoopers and away from the clearing. Covered by the trees of the Forest and safely out of hearing distance of the birds, he could focus on how to reverse Hermione’s insanity. Or if it wasn’t the birds, he could think of a way to get back at the unidentified attacker.</p><p>“Hermione,” he said, which felt really weird because he couldn’t actually hear himself. When she didn’t respond, he repeated her name a little louder, but he got no reaction from her other than the fact that she started to sway on her feet. </p><p>It didn’t take long for the relief he felt when he realised she wasn’t in the immediate danger of the Fwoopers to vanish like snow in the sun. If her Deafening spell worked properly and the birds hadn’t caused her possessed expression, there was something or someone very dangerous lurking somewhere.</p><p>Turning slowly on his heels, he discretely scanned the trees for anything suspicious. As he let his eyes glide over every branch, trunk and leaf, his brain worked at full speed.<br/>
Given the fact that both their Deafening charms were in place, working like they should and they weren’t exposed to the Fwooper’s songs, there wasn’t a dire need to get away from the clearing anymore. On the other hand, standing in the middle of a glade, they couldn’t take cover if their unknown enemy suddenly decided to take further action. And then there was the chance that whatever was affecting Hermione had been caused by some earlier placed ward, and the caster was long gone.<br/>
Other than a handful of Fwooopers in addition to the one above his head, he saw nothing. Whoever was watching them knew what they were doing. There was no sudden movement, no shimmering in the air, nothing. An inexperienced wizard would’ve thought they were alone, but Severus was anything but inexperienced, thanks to Potter and Black for that one. No, he felt a set of eyes on him, like he had hundred and hundred times before even though he couldn’t see those bloody Marauders. He still didn’t know how they did it, but in this case, it helped him pin-point his attacker.</p><p>Slowly he turned on his heels, his gaze still roaming over his surroundings, even though he was carefully watching one particular tree on his right from the corner of his eyes.<br/>
His plotting his next steps got interrupted by Hermione who was still swaying on her feet beside him. For a moment the witch’s swaying got worse; she started shaking. </p><p>Then her eyes rolled back in their sockets and she collapsed. </p><p>“Hermione!” Till now, Severus had been calculating his every move, but with Hermione down, he acted on pure instinct.</p><p>Standing over Hermione to protect her, he pointed his wand at the suspicious tree, firing a series of hexes and curses at it. They all bounced off and nothing happened.<br/>
At least, not behind that tree on his right. The backlash came from a tree on his left, from where a bright red flash came right at him. Thank god, he had cast a Shield charm earlier because there was no way he could’ve known there were more than one enemies, and now that red streak just bounced off him. </p><p>After casting a new Shielding charm, Severus turned to Disillusion Hermione and himself. The result wasn’t optimal because he had other things on his mind, but it would create at least some confusion for their attackers.<br/>
Not wasting any seconds, Severus bent over and with surprising strength for someone as slender as he was, he hauled the unconscious Hermione over his shoulder and made a beeline for the trees behind him, away from the clearing and officially off the ground of Hogwarts.</p><p>He ran as fast as he could, making his way through the dense shrubbery, carrying the witch, only stopping when he was well out of hearing range from the Fwoopers.<br/>
Carefully lowering Hermione to the ground, he spoke the incantation to undo their Deafening spell. At least now, he would be able to hear the still unknown attackers.<br/>
And yes, as if on cue, he heard the sound of someone shoving branches and leaf out of their way. He turned in the direction of the rusting, but not before throwing one quick glance at Hermione and he noticed her breath was way too shallow to be considered healthy. <em> Nothing I can do about that now,</em> he thought as he searched the trees and bushes for any sign of the aggressors. </p><p>Pricking up his ears, he could tell they were getting closer. Any second now they would have to get into view. However, before that happened two flashes, one red, one white, gave away their location. This time, Severus was ready and he lifted his wand, blocking both of the spells.<br/>
Another set of hexes was hurled at him, but now the casters made themselves known.<br/>
Severus watched as they stepped over a large trunk, their wands trained at him. There were two of them, both male, and Severus almost dropped his wand in shock. What the bloody hell were Potter and Black doing here? How did they get to the future and also to the exact same time he was? It was as if they had chased him, which they weren’t averse to, but somehow Severus doubted they’d gone so far as following him twenty-one years into the future. How did they even figure out he was in ‘99? </p><p>At that point it didn’t matter though, because they both opened their mouth and a series of curses and hexes were shot at him.</p><p>“<em>Protego!</em>” Severus yelled, and his face lit up in blue and white.</p><p>But Potter and Black weren’t done and they sent a new stream of spells in his direction. Most of them were blocked, some of them returned to the sender, but few penetrated Severus’ defense. A Slicing curse hit his left shoulder and he immediately felt warm blood soaking his robes. Another Stinging hex hit him in the face, making his cheeks and forehead swell till his eyes were thin slits and he couldn’t see clearly. But that didn’t stop him; he had dealt with worse and the adrenaline pumping in his veins helped counter the pain.</p><p>He pointed his wand at Black, and in quick succession three other spells followed. But Black was an excellent dueller and all his spells were parried or redirected. Other than a Stinging hex of his own, causing Black’s left arm to swell, the pureblood stayed unharmed.</p><p>While Severus focused on Black, Potter approached.<br/>
Only at the last second, he jumped to the side, dodging Potter’s Bat-Bogey hex which flew past and hit the tree behind him, mere inches above Hermione’s head.</p><p>“Don’t you dare hurt her, Potter!” Severus hissed as he upped his firepower.</p><p>“What are you going to do about it, Snivelly?” said Potter, redirecting a Pus-Squirting hex to a tree with a nonchalant wave of his wand. “Drip your grease on us?”</p><p>“I think the girl is his substitute for Lily, James,” Black piped in. “Maybe I will ask her out. I bet she can’t wait to get away from a greasy git like you.”</p><p>“Leave Hermione out of this, Black,” Severus growled. </p><p>“Feeling protective, are we, Snivy?” Black leered as he crept closer, still throwing offensive spells. “What did you do to her that she wants to spend her time with the likes of you? A good ol’ <em>Imperio</em>?”</p><p>“What did I do? No, what did <em>you</em> do? She is unconscious!”</p><p>Severus was seething by now, but also slightly out of breath. Keeping up a fight against two admittedly very capable duelers was taking its toll. At least it was only the two of them. If they had been with all four, he would be done for. Though decidedly less vindictive, Lupin knew how to use his wand, and while Pettigrew never really posed a real threat, his mere presence did result in the fact that the Marauders were four on one.</p><p>“Oh don’t worry, Snivellus,” Potter said, firing one spell after the other at rapid speed. “She’s just Stunned. I’m sure Sirius will take good care of her once she comes to.”</p><p>The smirk on Black’s face made Severus want to punch the pureblood in the face, but he knew he wouldn’t stand a chance against the muscled bloke and his mate. He did have to come up with some other plan, though. There was no chance he could hold them off for much longer.<br/>
Severus was an excellent dueler, but the numbers simply weren’t in his favour. </p><p>A Paralysis hex found its way through his defenses and his wand arm went numb.<br/>
Quick, he took his wand in his other hand, but his grip wasn’t as firm as he would’ve liked it. One swift Disarming charm and it would be the end for him.</p><p>“<em>Furnunculus!</em>” he countered. </p><p>He had aimed at Black, but because of the gash in his shoulder, he missed. Instead, he hit Potter, who had also been under the impression the spell would fly in his buddy’s direction, which was why he hadn’t been fast enough to throw up a Shield charm.<br/>
Immediately, ugly, throbbing boils erupted on his skin, making him drop his wand because they were all over his fingers as well. Fumbling around, he managed to heal the boils, but it took him some time before he got back to his feet, which would be covered with them as well, Severus knew.</p><p>In the meantime, Black increased the rate of his spell casting, fueled by the need to avenge his friend. And damn, he was good.</p><p>Severus found himself no longer able to fire offensive spells of his own, nor did he manage to redirect the series of hexes. Other than shielding himself against the seemingly endless stream of flashes, there wasn’t anything he could do. He wasn’t one to run from a fight, but it had never gone this far. The spells the other two were using weren’t innocent jinxes, more often than not, they cast hexes, bordering on dark curses like the Slicing spell. On top of that, this time it wasn’t just him; he had to think about Hermione’s safety too.<br/>
Potter had said she was only Stunned, but he didn’t know if he could trust that. He still remembered the way she had wobbled on her feet. He had actually panicked when he’d seen her collapse like that. Still, if he could find a way to wake her in between all the spells which were still flying back and forth at great speed, maybe she could help him in some way. Even if she could only be of half use, it was better than nothing.</p><p>Committing to his plan, Severus focused on the incantation <em>Levicorpus!</em> as he pointed his wand at Black. The non-verbal spell made its way through the haze of verbal ones and hit Black square in the chest, instantly lifting the pureblood in the air by his feet.<br/>
Black shouted as he hung upside down, causing Potter to pause his offense to look at his mate.</p><p>Severus, however, didn’t waste any time and he used the diversion to spin on his heels and point his wand at Hermione.</p><p>
  <em>“Rennervate.” </em>
</p><p>With a gasp, Hermione came to and she blinked a few times as she tried to make sense of the situation. </p><p>“You’re bleeding,” she pointed. </p><p>“I know,” Severus said. “How are you feeling?”</p><p>“I’m fi-” she started, but she cut herself off. The sight of a wizard dangling seven feet in the air before another undid the spell must have tipped her off because she jumped to her feet, drawing her wand. </p><p>“Severus! Watch out!” she shrieked, but it was too late.</p><p>At her warning, Severus pivoted to face Potter and Black, but he couldn’t have been fast enough to block their spells.<br/>
First, Potter’s Jelly-Legs Jinx hit him, making him fall to his knees. Directly after that a Stunner hit him and everything went black.</p><p>o0o</p><p>There was… something. A sound, but very faint, like it was coming from miles away. Then something touched his cheek and he tried to brush it off, but his arm wouldn’t cooperate. Meanwhile, the sound grew louder and he could make out a female voice, but not what it said. The touching on his cheek continued, but he found it wasn’t unpleasant. It was more like a soft caress than anything else. It reminded him of his mum, before his father had put her in a wheelchair and when she had comforted him whenever those kids at school bullied him. But that didn’t make sense, she couldn’t be her.</p><p>“Severus,” the voice said. It sounded familiar. Something in him told him to ignore it and just stay in this weird haze where he couldn’t move, but felt strangely at ease.</p><p>“Severus, wake up.” It sounded more urgent, though still far away.</p><p>“Come one, Severus. Please wake up.” This one sounded almost like a plea and he wondered why that was. Why would anybody be so concerned? </p><p>Then he remembered. He remembered fighting Potter and Black while Hermione was unconscious. Ironically, it seemed the roles were now reversed.<br/>
But that meant.. That meant Hermione was still in danger!</p><p>Severus' eyes shot open and the first thing he saw was the worried look on Hermione’s face. That meant she had her back to anyone who wanted to creep up on her, he thought, so he did the first thing that came to mind to prevent her from getting attacked in the back. It wasn’t even a coherent plan, he just acted on instinct.</p><p>Reaching out, he grabbed the girl’s hand, and then he Disapparated.</p><p>o0o </p><p>Their feet found ground again in a narrow alley in Hogsmeade and Severus almost toppled over, light-headed and nauseous. Apparating had demanded a lot from him.</p><p>Though still a bit unsteady, his eyes were focused. Getting a hold off himself, he heard Hermione scream as she yanked her hand back.</p><p>“HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?!”</p><p>He could hear the alarm in her voice, but the actual words didn’t register because he was still in flight-mode. Getting them to safety was far more important than whatever the hell she’d yelled just now.</p><p>“Are you alright?” he asked her with a penetrating stare.</p><p>“Am <em>I</em> alright?!” she shrieked. “Are <em>you</em> alright? You-”</p><p>“Yes, yes,” he waved his hand dismissively. “Nothing I haven’t gone through before. Potter and Black aren’t that creative. Are you sure you’re fine?”</p><p>“Yes, but forget that!” she said, her voice still shrill. “You collapsed and then you Disapparated! Don’t you remember anything?”</p><p>Severus’ brown furrowed automatically. </p><p>“Of course I remember” he replied, getting a bit irritated because he didn’t understand why Hermione wouldn’t let it go. “I remember everything clear as day and I specifically remember Potter and Black Stunning you. They must have followed me through time!!”</p><p>Hermione didn’t respond and pulled out her wand before casting several Privacy charms.</p><p>“Severus,” she said considerably less panicked. “I don’t think you remember everything that happened.”</p><p>Confused by the wary and concerned look in Hermione’s eyes, Severus went over the events in the Forest in his head. At first he could clearly picture Potter and Black, but the more he thought about it, the more the images faded till eventually all he could remember clearly was discussing the Deafening charm with Hermione right before they had entered the Fwoopers’ clearing, and the moment he had Disapparated.</p><p>“What happened?” he asked, and he cursed himself because he knew his voice was slightly shaking. He <em>could</em> technically blame it on the fact that he was still a bit dizzy, but he knew it was because he was scared, though he absolutely loathed that notion. He didn’t even know what was missing from his memory. That was of course the thing that scared him the most, the fact he didn’t know, but it felt ridiculous to him nonetheless. Don’t they say ‘ignorance is bliss’? </p><p>Hermione didn’t respond immediately and he noticed her eyes were still searching his face. </p><p>“What happened?” he demanded. Getting scared wasn’t something he did. Anger felt better. You could control anger.</p><p>Hermione gave him a look he didn’t recognise, but she kept silent, seemingly trying to formulate a coherent sentence. At last she said, “You remember getting to the clearing to see the Fwoopers?”</p><p>Severus nodded slowly, apprehensive about what would come next, though he had an inkling about that already.</p><p>“So, I explained the use of the Deafening charm and went first. You were supposed to cast your own spell and follow me. I guess your hearing is much better than mine.” She paused a bit after that.</p><p>“And?” </p><p>Hermione visibly swallowed before she went on. “Apparently one of the Fwoopers was sitting on a branch right above our heads. You must have picked up on their song, ‘cause you didn’t follow me and began to babble. I think you said something about James and Sirius…”</p><p>“So I went insane,” Severus stated more than said. He had deduced as much from the fact he didn’t remember anything, though it comforted him to know it wasn’t because of bad spellwork.</p><p>“I cast a Deafening charm on you as soon as I realised what was happening, I swear,” Hermione continued. “It didn’t matter anymore, though. The song had already affected you enough to induce insanity. Though the spell prevented the bird from pulling you in further.”</p><p>“Then what happened?” </p><p>“You pointed your wand at the trees and grunted and growled, though you didn’t cast any spells. It seemed like you were dueling two people. You also called my name a few times. I put up a Silencing charm around us to protect us while the bird’s effect was wearing out.”</p><p>“And when it did, I Apparated us to some place safe,” Severus added. At least he had gotten that right.</p><p>Hermione gave him a funny look he didn’t recognise.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Severus,” she began hesitantly. “You’re familiar with the wards at Hogwarts?”</p><p>“Yes,” he replied slowly, wondering what she was getting at.</p><p>“There are anti-Apparition wards placed on the entire school and ground,” she said. “You shouldn’t have been able to Apparate us.”</p><p>Severus felt his eyebrows making their way up to his hairline. He knew you couldn’t Apparate at Hogwarts, he’d just assumed they’d been off the grounds.</p><p>“And we weren’t in the part of the Forest that isn’t under those wards?” he asked. What other explanation could possibly there be?”</p><p>“Er… I,” Hermione drew a blank. “I guess so.”</p><p>“There’s no other way I would’ve been able to Apparte, so it must be,” Severus said. In his opinion, when applying logic to the situation, everything could be easily explained.</p><p>He went over everything in his head again, and concluded that had to be it. Lost in thought, he didn’t notice the curious look in Hermione’s eyes as she studied him.<br/>
In the end, they silently agreed on getting back to the castle. </p><p>Severus still felt a little dizzy from his insanity-filled episode, so Hermione cast a Disillusionment charm on him this time. Then they walked side by side over the gravel pathway leading up to the Castle. They didn’t mind the fact they couldn’t talk without giving away Severus’ presence; both had a lot going on inside their heads. </p><p>They reached the dungeons without saying a single word to each other and when they got inside the only words they exchanged were to inform the other of their afternoon plans.<br/>
Severus said he would stay in the quarters and do some light-reading while he waited till his headache reduced. Hermione said she would go up to the lab.</p><p>She didn’t though.</p><p>The second she got out of her quarters again, she headed to the Headmaster Tower. During Severus’ episode, she hadn’t thought of consulting the Headmistress cause she had been busy calming down the wizard. Now, though, she knew she had no choice but to tell her about what had happened. She didn’t buy the chance that Severus had Apparated because he’d been off the grounds for a single moment, she knew they had been on the terrain. It wouldn’t do, though, to have him be aware of that. If he knew, he might ask a lot more questions and unwind a lot more information that wasn’t suited for his ears. <em>Her</em> ears, on the other hand, were itching to know the reasons behind Severus’ Apparition. There was just no way he could’ve done that, but she also knew there was no way they had been off-ground.</p><p>Luckily, the Headmistress called her up immediately when she got to the gargoyle and she took a seat in front of the large desk.</p><p>“Hermione, to what do I owe the pleasure?” McGonagall said.</p><p>“I’m afraid I’ve come yet again to get some answers, Professor,” Hermione began. The Headmistress bowed her head to indicate she could continue. “This morning I was in the Forbidden Forest with Severus…”</p><p>“You were in the <em>Forbidden</em> Forest?” the Scot interjected. “The Forbidden Forest, with Severus Snape, a visitor from the past, who is dead, need I remind you?”</p><p>Hermione’s cheeks coloured. When put like that it didn't seem like a very good plan to begin with, no, but there was no way she could’ve anticipated that lone Fwooper. And besides, that wasn’t even why she was here, talking to the Headmistress. </p><p>After clearing her throat, she ploughed on. “We were very careful. Nothing should’ve happened.”</p><p>Again, she got interrupted. </p><p>“<em>Should have?</em>” McGonagall asked, incredulous. “I can only surmise something did happen then. What is it?”</p><p>Hermione chewed her lower lip as she thought about what to say. In the end she decided it was better to leave out the bit about Severus’ insanity trip and go straight to the point. Jonas must have left his Dutch impressions.</p><p>“We were going to examine the flock of Fwoopers,” Hermione explained. “It was all safe, but something else startled Severus, causing him to flee.”</p><p>It wasn’t entirely untrue, it just wasn’t the full truth. Clearly Jonas wasn’t the only one to influence her; Severus’ evasiveness was getting to her as well. Still, she didn’t like it, but it was necessary. <em>Bugger, why does that sound so Slytherin??</em></p><p>“The boy fled because he got startled?” Hermione didn’t like how that question sounded. If she didn’t press on quickly, McGonagall might discover a whole lot more than strictly necessary, and more important, desirable. </p><p>“Yes, he did,” she said. “But he thought we were off-grounds already, so he tried to Apparate.”</p><p>“Which he couldn’t of course,” McGonagall added.</p><p>“Well, that’s why I’m here, Professor,” Hermione responded. “He did succeed. He Apparated within grounds.”</p><p>To Hermione’s surprise, there wasn’t a shocked reaction or gasping or anything. Actually, the Headmistress did an uncanny impression of the wizard they had been talking about, impressionable mask, piercing stare and furrowed brow included.</p><p>“That,” she said at last. “Is not possible.”</p><p>“It is, though,” Hermione objected. “He did it. And I’m a hundred percent sure we were still on Hogwarts grounds.</p><p>McGonagall pursed her lips and seemed to weigh some things in her head.</p><p>“Hermione, dear,” she said. “I do not question your intelligence, but surely you are mistaken. There is no way Severus Snape could’ve Apparated within the castle’s wards. There’s just no way.”</p><p>“No offense taken, professor,” Hermione replied quickly. “But I know I’m right about this.”</p><p>“If I may…” it sounded from behind the Headmistress.</p><p>McGonagall turned in her chair and both witches watched as Professor Dumbledore came into view.</p><p>“Albus, please enlighten us with your knowledge,” the Headmistress said with a level of irritation in her voice Hermione hadn’t heard that often from her and she briefly wondered why it was there now. She couldn’t help but wonder if it had something to do with the fact Jonas still hadn’t returned, but she quickly shook that thought as he wouldn’t help her with the situation at hand.</p><p>“First and foremost,” the portrait started. “Minerva, your wards are in place and working perfectly, so please do not fret.”</p><p>Hermione noticed her Headmistress visibly relaxed.</p><p>“Second,” Dumbledore continued. “I believe it is possible for our young Severus to Apparate within the wards, but not because he is such a powerful wizard. Which he is and will be of course, but that isn’t the reason he can come and go as he pleases. Not entirely at least.”</p><p>Jonas’ Dutch forwardness obviously hadn’t influenced the late Headmaster, Hermione thought.</p><p>The old wizard stroked his beard a few times before he continued. “I believe the castle allows him to Apparate within the wards.”</p><p>“Why would it do that?” McGonagall asked. “It never does that”</p><p>“Why yes, dear,” the painting replied. “But you yourself can, can you not?”</p><p>“Yes, but I’m Hogwarts’ Headmistress,” the Scot countered. “He’s just a boy, a student.”</p><p>“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong.” Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled.</p><p>“No!” Hermione gasped as she caught on.</p><p>“I presume you have come to the right conclusion, Miss Granger,” the portrait said kindly.</p><p>“Wait, no, Albus,” McGonagall protested, evidently having caught on as well. “But if he learns his ability to do that and the Dark Lord sees it in his mind… We can’t have that!”</p><p>“Yes,” Dumbledore said. “I believe the castle still recognises him as its Master which is why it allows him to Apparate.”</p><p>He let that sink in for a moment before he went on.</p><p>“Miss Granger,” Dumbledore looked down his long nose. “Where is our boy now?”</p><p>“He’s down in the dungeons, Professor,” Hermione answered. “And he believes he was off-ground at the time.”</p><p>“Good, good,” the Headmaster said. “Let us keep him under that pretense.”</p><p>“The boy is incredibly smart. I’m sure he will figure it out on his own at some point. He is a Slytherin after all,” it sounded next to him.</p><p>It was the first time another portrait had spoken while Hermione had visited the Headmistress’ office.</p><p>“Phineas, what an excellent timing to join our conversation,” McGonagall said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. It was clear to Hermione she didn’t like the Slytherin Headmaster.</p><p>“Yes, I’m quite happy with that myself,” Black’s portrait replied undisturbed. “I just couldn’t stay silent any longer.”</p><p>“And now you have spoken, you can return to being silent again.” McGonagall waved her hand and put a Silencing charm on the portrait. Black went on for a little while until he realised they couldn’t hear him anymore and he stalked off.</p><p>“I’m sure that wasn’t necessary, dear,” Dumbledore admonished her gently. “If he spoke up, he probably had something interesting to say.”</p><p>“Oh I’m sure he had,” McGonagall agreed. “I’m just not sure if I wanted to hear it.”</p><p>At that Dumbledore chuckled into his beard, but when he looked up again, his eyes were serious.</p><p>“He’s got a point, thought,” he said. “We have to make sure Severus won’t find out on his own.”</p><p>“And how do you suggest we do that?” McGonagall questioned. “We can monitor his reading material while he’s here, but there’s no saying he won’t investigate as soon as he’s back in ‘78.”</p><p>“We have to make it so he won’t want to investigate,” Hermione voiced her thoughts aloud and blushed as the two Headmasters looked at her.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” she said quickly, looking at her hands in her lap. </p><p>“No, no!” the Headmistress said. “Don’t be. Please tell us your idea.”</p><p>“I was just thinking,” Hermione started shyly. “We have to take away his curiosity on the matter. If he were sure he was off-grounds, there would be no need for him to look for answers. He would think he already got them.”</p><p>The Headmasters shared a look as they thought about it.</p><p>“That’s clever thinking,” McGonagall complimented her, making her blush again. “I’m sure we can arrange something.”</p><p>o0o</p><p>Hermione studied the wizard by the fire for a moment as she collected her thoughts. While sure the plan they’d come up with would work perfectly, she was still nervous to mislead Severus. The plan would fail miserably if he saw through her. Everything depended on her action skills and she didn’t like that notion.</p><p>
  <em>Come on, Hermione. You can do this. You fought in a war and lied to Bellatrix.</em>
</p><p>That was the little pep talk she needed to close her book and walk over to sit in the chair next to where Severus was sitting on the floor.</p><p>“Severus,” she repeated and he repeated his ‘hm?’ sound.</p><p>“I was thinking about the spot you Apparated from,” she started.</p><p>He looked up from whatever he was reading. “Yes?”</p><p>“I want to go back and see if it’s off-grounds or not.”</p><p>He tilted his head and cocked an eyebrow. Hermione found she started to like how he looked when he did that. You knew he was fully engaged in the conversation, truly listening and interested, too.</p><p>“Why do you want that?”</p><p>“Because if we were still on the grounds, it would mean the anti-Apparition wards aren’t working properly. We’d be exposed to all kinds of threats,” Hermione said, making sure her eyes didn’t shift as they held each other’s gaze.</p><p>“Right.”</p><p>“So are you coming?” </p><p>Inwardly, Hermione was on the verge of panicking. She hated acting and everything would fall apart if he refused.<br/>
Her stomach almost dropped as he kept silent, but then he closed his book and she had to bite back a sigh of relief.</p><p> </p><p>They walked all the way back into the Forest, right to the edge of the clearing. This time they had cast their Deafening charm before they even went into the Forest. Just to be sure.<br/>
When they got near the right spot, Hermione gestured for the boy to keep his eyes on her. He gave a curt nod to say she could proceed. They were still on the grounds as their eyes met and Hermione took a step forward and she spun on her heels. Nothing happened.<br/>
Tentatively, Severus gave her a thumbs-up, and Hermione nodded. She hadn’t disappeared, so it meant the wards were still in place. At least that was how it would look like to Severus. He didn’t know she hadn’t actually tried to Apparate.<br/>
Next they went to the proper spot, the one Severus had to think wasn’t part of Hogwarts’ grounds. Their eyes met again, but this time Hermione grabbed the wizard.<br/>
Then she focused and as planned, the wards were down and she Apparated them to Hogsmeade. </p><p>The second they landed, she cast several Privacy charms and a Disillusionment charm on Severus before she lifted their Deafening charm. </p><p>“See?” she said in a hushed tone.</p><p>“Yes, everything seems to be in order,” Severus' voice agreed. </p><p>“Then let’s get back.” Hermione was anxious to leave this day behind her and go back to the safety of the castle, without Apparition and without Fwoopers.</p><p>“Follow me,” she said as she started in the direction of the castle. </p><p>“I will always follow you,” Severus' voice came from somewhere behind her. It was a good thing he couldn’t see her face, because now he wouldn’t see her blushing. She hated the fact that she was in fact blushing, but deep down she liked the warmth that spread through her at his comment. She just wasn’t ready to admit that.</p><p>The way back was completed in silence again, but as they walked Hermione came up with thousands of questions for the wizard.<br/>
Severus, on the other hand, had other plans, and when they entered their quarters again, he retreated to his spot in front of the fire, Ovid’s Metamorphoses in his lap.</p><p>“So…” Hermione said from the kitchen, where she was preparing tea. </p><p>“So…” Severus reiterated. </p><p>“Are we going to talk about today or not?” Hermione inquired tentatively.</p><p>“What is there to talk about?” Severus asked in return without looking up. His eyes flew over the pages, apparently taking in the words while talking.</p><p>“For starters,” Hermione began. “You went loony. And you shouted my name in the process. What happened?”</p><p>She walked over to the sitting area and put Severus smoky pine tea on the coffee table for him. Then she took a seat on the sofa, her own mug with the jasmine cradled in her hands. </p><p>“Well?” she urged gently. “What did you see?”</p><p>“I don’t remember.”</p><p>Hermione studied the back of his head since he wouldn’t turn around or look up.</p><p>“You know that’s not how Fwoopers work,” she said after a while. “You go mad, but you don’t lose your memories of the trip.”</p><p>“I did.” </p><p>“Severus, would you please-” Hermione began, but she didn’t finish her sentence.</p><p>“Would I please what?” he asked, his eyes still on the book.</p><p>“Would you please turn around so we can talk properly?” Hermione asked.</p><p>o0o</p><p>Severus didn’t move for a good ten seconds, staring at the pages before him. He hadn’t actually read any of the words since they got back, but he used the book as an excuse to contemplate and not talk. <em>That worked out well</em>, he thought sarcastically.</p><p>He knew why he couldn’t clearly remember his episode of insanity, he just preferred to keep any of that to himself. But then again, the episode in itself might be an indicator he should tell Hermione. He just wasn’t used to sharing, still. </p><p>“Alright, witch,” he conceded, closing his book and getting up to sit in one of the armchairs. “I’ll tell you what I remember. But if that tea isn’t drinkable, I’ll go back to my reading.”</p><p>“I think I can live with that,” Hermione chuckled as she watched him get comfortable in the chair.</p><p>Severus rolled his eyes, but held her gaze.</p><p>“So?”</p><p>“Is that the only thing you can say?” he drawled, but with mirth in his eyes.</p><p>“Shut up, wizard, and tell me about your little trip to another dimension.”</p><p>“You want to repeat that?” Severus smirked. “Which one is it? Do I shut up or tell you my experiences as a nutcase?”</p><p>Now Hermione rolled her eyes, but Severus noticed the smile she tried to hide behind her mug. </p><p>“Good thing we have established you’re a nutcase,” she countered with that smile still playing on her lips. “Now tell me!”</p><p>“There isn’t much to tell,” Severus shrugged as he decided to let her remark go. “I thought I was dueling Potter and Black.”</p><p>“And where do I come into this?”</p><p>Severus waited a moment, gathering his thoughts. This was the part he wasn’t keen on sharing, the part he had tried to push to the back of his mind and out of reach. He still had access to the memories of course, he just didn’t want to access them. His little trip revealed more about him then he cared to admit, even to himself.<br/>
On the other hand, he knew he could relax a bit with Hermione. He didn’t have to walk on eggshells around her, she wouldn’t turn on him, not really. </p><p>“You got hurt,” he settled on. It was the truth of course, but vague enough to steer the conversation in any direction.</p><p>“And then you shouted my name?” It wasn’t much of a question.</p><p>He nodded.</p><p>“You were worried?”</p><p>Yes, this was exactly the part he didn’t want to talk about.<br/>
He had been scared out of his mind something serious had happened to the witch. She was his friend and then the Marauders came in and were about to take her away from him, like they had with Lily. But it wasn’t the fact that he had been scared for her, it was the reason behind that.<br/>
Of course you would be concerned if your only friend suddenly collapsed right beside you, but deep down Severus knew that concern ran deeper than just concern. Though a delusion, he still thought it was real at the time and he had panicked, just lost it at the thought of losing Hermione. And he wasn’t sure if he liked what that insinuated.</p><p>“Of course I was worried,” he said. “You’re my friend.”</p><p>He didn’t recognise the expression on the witch’s face as she studied him.</p><p>“I was worried about you, too.”</p><p>He didn’t say anything and took a sip of tea. What do you respond to that? Thank them? </p><p>“I just-” </p><p>This time he waited patiently for her to formulate an actual sentence.</p><p>“I guess I just wanted to tell you that,” Hermione said from behind her mug. She did look him in the eye, though.</p><p>Severus frowned. Tell him what?</p><p>“I just wanted you to know I care about you,” she continued. “You went insane and then you collapsed. I was terrified for you.”</p><p>
  <em>She was scared for me?</em>
</p><p>“And after the past days,” she went on. “I just wanted to tell you I care about you. You’ve learned about your own death, gotten affected by a Fwooper and have to put up with a bossy know-it-all like me, and all of that into your own future.”</p><p>“You’re not a bossy know-it-all!” Severus protested before he could think better of it. He got rewarded, though, by the bright grin she gave him. </p><p>“Thanks,” she said. “That means a lot coming from you.”</p><p>“You’re welcome.” </p><p>Their conversation died out and they sat in silence while they drank their tea and stole glances at each other. Long after their mugs were empty, they stood and retired to the bedroom, each to their own side. </p><p>When they were both in bed, staring at the ceiling, they thought about everything that had happened that day. Though, Sever kept coming back to Hermione saying she cared about him. He felt like something was missing from that conversation, but what he didn’t know. He only realised what after lying awake for more than two hours. And in the safety of his own bed, with Hermione surely fast asleep already, he whispered, “I care about you, too.”</p><p>Little did he know that Hermione was wide-awake as well. She heard those five words perfectly clear and when she finally fell asleep, she was still smiling.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter sees Severus interacting with other people than just Hermione and Jonas.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter twelve - Verseus Aspen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's time for a few festivities! Headmistress McGonagall's planning a ball at Hogwarts and everyone is coming. What could possibly go wrong?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm sorry this chapter is abnormally long. I actually cut in half already, the next chapter is going to be the second half.</p><p>It's been some time since I've written anything for this fic and after going over the already written chapters, I decided I needed something additional. That's this chapter, and the next one, and I had the hardest time putting it together.  The chapters after that were written months ago, though I have to revise and rewrite most of them after writing this one.</p><p>Well, I hope you'll enjoy this one anyway,</p><p>And as always, </p><p>much love!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter twelve - Verseus Aspen</h1><p>The following days were spent inside, no more trips to the Forest. They both didn’t acknowledge their conversation about caring and worrying, both not ready to assess that topic and what it implicated. Their feelings and thoughts on those implications probably weren’t even actually intelligible yet. </p><p>Jonas had returned from France two days after Severus’ Charms practise, the day after their trip to the Forest. He had come up empty-handed; the French hadn’t been able to help them with their quest for a time-turner. At first Hermione had been angry with him because he hadn’t told her about his trip, but after he had explained the situation to her, she’d agreed there hadn’t been any other way. The missive inviting the Potions Master at the Ministry hadn’t been much of an invitation and more like a summon. It had requested Jonas’ immediate presence and he was to visit alone. He hadn’t been able to refuse. It was a direct request of a Minister of Magic after all.<br/>
The Minister would’ve kept him even longer, weren’t it for his British counterpart, who had requested Hogwarts’ Potions Master back in the country. In fact, the appointment had been scheduled for well over a month ago, something to do with the ball which would take place the following day. </p><p>The Headmistress was organising a fundraiser ball for the school to pay for all the repairs that had been done the last year. At the time, a fundraiser event would’ve been absolutely insensitive, but now it was the perfect time.</p><p>When the war had ended McGonagall had insisted the school would open next September and go about her usual business. </p><p>“The students of Hogwarts will no longer be denied proper magical education,” she had argued to a reluctant Minister of Magic. “After that disastrous year, the British wizarding community needs to be built up again and what better way to do that than to start educating our children on how to use magic for good instead of evil.”</p><p>Eventually Shacklebolt had agreed it was desirable to open Hogwarts as soon as possible. The only problem with that was the fact that there was no money. Both the Ministry and the school board were in shambles after the war, and unable to fund the work force to have Hogwarts back up and running in mere months. That was when they’d come up with the idea of a fundraiser ball. Every witch loved a good ball and even the wizards couldn’t pass on an evening of good drinks, music and company. </p><p>“Of course my best Aurors will be present as well, but your own vigilance will be needed as well,” Shacklebolt addressed Hogwarts’ staff during the last meeting before le moment suprème. </p><p>“Everything will be in order, my boy,” said Flitwick, who had been tasked with the placement of age-lines around the punch bowls.</p><p>Jonas, who would be patrolling the Great Hall, nodded in agreement. “Nothing will happen, Minister.”</p><p>“You picked the right bunch for the job, sir,” Hooch agreed, peering down her hawkish nose. She would be flying around the perimeter, on the look-out for anything out of the ordinary. “We’re teachers of magical children. We’re the most vigilant human beings to walk the earth. How else do you reckon we’re able to keep them alive?”</p><p>And just like that, the meeting had ended. </p><p>“Walk with me?” McGonagall asked Jonas as his colleagues and he got up to leave.</p><p>Jonas nodded, recognizing in the tone of her voice it wasn’t really a question.</p><p>They walked in silence until they were out of earshot of the rest of the staff, but for good measurement, the Headmistress put up several privacy charms before she started talking.</p><p>“We need to assess our young friend,” she said meaningfully.</p><p>“You mean we need to talk about what you’re going to do if the Netherlands end up being as unhelpful as the French,” Jonas said bluntly.</p><p>“Don’t you worry about that, yet,” Minerva responded in what was probably supposed to be a reassuring tone, though Jonas found himself not reassured in the slightest.</p><p>“First, we have to decide what to do with Snape during the fundraiser,” she stated.</p><p>“I was under the impression you would just order him to stay within the confines of the apprentice quarters.” </p><p>The unasked question hung in the air for a while as the two colleagues walked through the deserted corridors.</p><p>“Then again, who’s to say he would actually listen and stay put?” Jonas continued when it became clear the Headmistress wasn’t going to respond. “Perhaps we’re all better off with the boy in our midst, where we can keep an eye on him.”</p><p>“We can’t have him wandering about the castle with the entire Order present. With all the Weasleys there, he is bound to overhear something unfit for his ears.”</p><p>“So just lock him up,” Jonas offered, not unkindly.</p><p>Minerva shook her head. “I can’t do that. Merlin knows he will live a whole life in tight confines. I can’t just lock the boy up. He doesn’t know what’s going on, so he will feel confused, angry and hurt. I refuse to add to his pain like that. I’ve done more than enough already.”</p><p>They walked in silence for a bit, both lost in thought. Pretty sure his employer was referring to the time the boy had actually been under her tutelage, Jonas tried to imagine the relationship between the professor and Snape. Not good, he settled on.</p><p>“Why don’t we let Hermione take him?” he suggested. “They get along well enough to spend their evening together. She can watch him while we watch them.”</p><p>Frowning, Minerva thought about it. It was the best plan they had, except for the fact Hermione was part of the Golden Trio, which meant people would be swarming around her. Not the ideal setting for someone who is supposed to keep out of sight.</p><p>There was also the little problem called teenagers and romantics. </p><p>Years of experience with that dangerous combination told the Headmistress it wasn’t wise to make Hermione attend the ball with Severus. One, she wasn’t looking forward to explaining to the girl she had to forego spending the night with her boyfriend to babysit Severus Snape.<br/>
And two, there was actually a chance they would enjoy their evening together and something would blossom between the two of them, which was something Minerva couldn’t afford. She did not need another drama on her hands with all that was going on and certainly not one involving the illegal use of Obliviation.</p><p>“Surely your painting has some ideas,” Jonas’ remark pulled her from her thoughts. “He seems to come in handy every now and then.”</p><p>To his surprise, Minerva came to a halt with a strange look on her face.</p><p>Jonas, stopping as well, arched an eyebrow. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“I have to stop depending on that bloody portrait,” the witch sighed rather heavily. “It’s just that, a portrait.”</p><p>Jonas pondered those words for a bit, studying his boss and friend.</p><p>“Nah you don’t,” he said after a while, shaking his head dismissively. “Yes, it’s just a painting, but if the man gives sound advice, just take it. It’s free after all.”</p><p>“I’m afraid it’s not that simple,” Minerva replied with a sad smile, though she started walking again.</p><p>“So what are we going to do?” Jonas went back to the topic at hand.</p><p>“I was hoping you could enlighten me on that notion. You spend more time with the boy than I do and he doesn’t trust me anyway,” she added. “Though that is hardly his fault.”</p><p>o0o</p><p>“Severus, Hermione, sit down, please.”</p><p>Severus looked up from what he was doing and searched for Hermione’s eyes from the other side of the room. The girl shrugged ever so lightly, but banished the parchment scrolls scattered across the sofa and her lap to the coffee table and stood.</p><p>“What’s up, Jonas?” she asked as Severus closed his copy of <em>Advanced Potions-Making</em> and got up as well.</p><p>The three of them gathered around the diner table and sat down, Hermione and Severus expectantly watching the Potions Master. Well, Hermione was watching in slight excited anticipation, whereas Severus had something of a scowl going on on his face, though nothing terribly serious. He was just a bit wary, alert if anything. He really had lowered his guards during his stay in his future, so he wasn’t as apprehensive as he would’ve been. Old habits die hard, though, which was why he was still frowning cautiously at the dutchman.</p><p>“I was wondering,” the Professor started, meeting Severus’ eye. “What you had planned on doing tomorrow evening.”</p><p>Severus’ frown deepened into a real scowl. He didn’t like the man’s prying into his business. Though he understood the professor had the right to know his whereabouts and actions during the day, during the school day, he hardly thought it necessary to share his plans during his free evenings with the man. As long as he kept his head down and out of sight, of course. </p><p>“I don’t see how that is any of your concern, Professor,” he replied, his voice even as he tried to keep his tone polite.</p><p>To his surprise, he saw a smile tugging at the man’s lips, and instead of the reprimand he had expected, Jonas chuckled lightheartedly.</p><p>
  <em>Must be his being Dutch.</em>
</p><p>“I can imagine,” the Professor said. “Though I think I can fill in your plans, if you care to let me explain.”</p><p>Not certain if a verbal response was required, Severus raised his eyebrows in question. Presumably at the sight of that little movement, Jonas chuckled again, at which Severus glanced at Hermione, but her expression said she didn’t know what was going on either. </p><p>“What do you mean, Jonas?” she asked. Severus noted her rather unsuccessful attempt at trying to keep her voice void of impatience. It was clear the girl desperately wanted to know the reason for her Professor’s visit.</p><p>Just as well, Severus thought. From what he had seen, he had never met someone as hungry for knowledge as Hermione was, apart from maybe himself. Of course he wanted to know whatever it was Jonas had to say as well, but he couldn’t help feeling more than a little apprehensive. What if this was the man announcing they had found a way to send him back to ‘78?</p><p>Again, Jonas’ reaction surprised him. He didn’t immediately explain, which was not the surprising element - Severus was rather used to teachers withholding information from him -, though it was a little irritating. This teacher’s reaction in particular was more amusing than irritating, though.</p><p>“And here I thought you were supposed to be my highly intelligent apprentice, as Minerva has put it multiple times,” Jonas said dryly, but without any malice. Still it earned him a glare from the apprentice in question, which resulted in Severus’s right eyebrow to return to its original place. </p><p>“I-” Hermione started, assumingly to defend herself, but she shut her mouth before any more words came out. Severus knew that look. She had just realised something.</p><p>“Do you mean what I think you mean?” she asked her mentor hesitantly. Severus watched as her eyes widened when the man merely nodded, a pleased look on his face.</p><p>“But that’s wonderful!” Hermione exclaimed. The way her brown eyes lightened up and filled with joy didn’t go unnoticed. </p><p>“Would any of you care to elaborate?” Severus found himself questioning before he could stop himself, ending his streak of pretended indifferent silence.</p><p>For the third time, Jonas’ reaction was one Severus had expected.</p><p>The man smiled broadly as he got to his feet. “I'll let you two talk.”</p><p>“What was that about?” Severus asked as soon as the door closed behind the leaving Professor.</p><p>Instead of answering him, Hermione rose from her chair and started pacing.</p><p>“Oh my god!” she whispered excitedly to herself. “With all that’s been going on I’ve completely forgotten about it! I haven’t even gotten to writing a speech. I never even talked to Harry and Ron. Oh no! Ron! I haven’t spoken to him for ages. Does he expect us to attend together. Well, of course he does, but we’re the Golden Trio, but <em>together-together</em>? What am I going to do? Do I owl him? No, it’s too late for that. I’ll Floo him. What’s he going to say. Oh no, I’ve been such a bad girlfriend. Girlfriend… Are we really that? Boyfriend and girl-...”</p><p>As she trailed off she finally looked up to meet Severus’ confused eyes. Not so much the witch’s ramblings confused him, but he didn’t know what she was babbling about. </p><p>“Are you quite done?” he drawled. “Though I admit it is highly amusing to see you work yourself into a frenzy, I would like to know what you’re on about.”</p><p>“Yes, yes,” Hermione nodded, still more to herself than Severus. “Yes, of course. You don’t have to worry, though. This is rather good news!”<br/>
“You are aware your definition of good news isn’t a conventional one?”</p><p>Hermione rolled her eyes at the wizard, but sat down again and started to explain.</p><p>“Look, in the light of last year’s events, there’s going to be a fundraiser ball,” she said. “I can’t tell you any details and I’m not sure how the Headmistress is planning on keeping you out of the loop, but-”</p><p>While Hermione went on about her concerns, Severus crossed his arms over his chest, both of his eyebrows slightly raised. At the mention of a ball he was positive the witch and him were not on the same page regarding this so-called ‘good news’.<br/>
As much as he would like to be in the presence of someone other than Hermione and Jonas, he wasn’t that desperate. Besides, you could hardly call him a social butterfly and Hell would sooner freeze over than he would attend something as stuck-up as a fundraiser ball. Lucius had put him through events like that to last him a lifetime and surely as soons as he’d get back there would be more of that. No, he was quite content with staying in the dungeons, far away from that whole shabang.</p><p>“I’m not going,” he interrupted Hermione from her chattering about dress robes.</p><p>“I’m sure you’ll look brilliant in- what?” the girl fell silent mid-sentence. </p><p>Rolling his eyes, Severus leaned back in his chair, putting one leg over the other, crossing them at the knee. </p><p>“You’re not going?” Hermione repeated dumbfounded.</p><p>Resisting the urge to roll his eyes yet again, he narrowed them at the witch instead. </p><p>“Attending a fundraiser alongside Ministry’s officials and apparently war heroes isn’t exactly ‘keeping out of sight’ now, isn’t it?” he said. “And here I was, thinking I was to be hidden at all times. Don’t tell me I could’ve been skipping around the castle all this time after all. I get terribly upset when people lie to me, you know.”</p><p>Though he kept his voice light as he talked, there was no mistake he was a hundred percent serious. Fully aware of what the wizard was capable of, Hermione rushed to explain.</p><p>“I trust the Headmistress has thought about all of this,” she stated matter-of-factly. “Without a doubt they’ve come to this conclusion only after giving it much thought. I think it’s so they can keep an eye on you. And no, you cannot go around the castle, hopping about. Though I have a hard time imagining you skipping at all.”</p><p> </p><p>In the end the two of them went to McGonagall who explained the reason behind Severus having to attend the ball. The elder witch had already expected them to drop by the moment Jonas’ patronus told her that he had broken the news to them.<br/>
After a lot of objecting from both Hermione and Severus -the former being a lot more fierce in her questioning, though more reasonable, and the latter being on some sort of silent protest after stating he wouldn’t go-, eventually the three of them had come to an agreement.</p><p>Severus and Hermione would go together as colleagues, with Severus as an international potions apprentice from France. They had agreed on Severus’ silence so he wouldn’t make himself known because of his distinct voice, though the boy had drawn the line when Hermione suggested they should alter his appearance. </p><p>“Absolutely not,” he had said. “You’re mental if you think I’m going blonde.”</p><p>Fortunately for him, McGonagall had interjected, stating it was highly unlikely for anyone to recognise him on look alone. Not only was he the last person people would expect to see, his youthfulness in combination with the foreknowledge he was from another country would throw them all off. Besides, the Headmistress had argued, within the first hour everyone will be too pissed to properly see at all, let alone recognise Severus as the surly Potions Master.</p><p>All things considered, Severus got off easy. He didn’t have to talk to anyone, in fact he was ordered to keep silent, and he could hide behind Hermione and her endless chattering.</p><p>o0o</p><p>“Are you ready?” Hermione called from the sitting room.</p><p>“Give me a minute, witch!” Severus yelled back from the bedroom.</p><p>“Honestly, how long does it take to pull on some dress robes?” Hermione muttered to herself as she got to her feet and walked over to the bedroom door and placed her ear on the wood.</p><p>She had been sitting at the diner table for a while, nursing now cold tea, as she worried about the evening ahead of her. Though she had explained to Harry and Ron she wouldn’t be able to go to the ball with them because she had apprentice duties, she very much doubted they would let it rest.  Not one hair on her admittedly bushy head thought they would swarm around her and try to engage in the festivities. And then to think they would see Severus… Only time would tell how Severus would handle her friends.</p><p>“What’s taking so long?” she asked through the door when Severus still hadn’t shown face after another minute.</p><p>She heard a lot of stumbling inside the room and some muttered obscenities but then finally the door opened and Severus came into view.</p><p>“Oh you look fantastic!” Hermione gasped in awe before she could stop herself.</p><p>The wizard grumbled something unintelligible while he glowered at his reflection in the mirror. His discomfort was more than clear as he tugged and pulled on his black bowtie.</p><p>Personally, Hermione thought McGonagall had outdone herself in providing the dark-haired boy with proper attire for a gala. He was wearing black trousers and a matching waistcoat with a pristine white dress shirt underneath. His robes were in the same colour as his trousers and vest and upon further inspection, Hermione noticed they weren’t black, but in fact a deep shade of blue. </p><p>But that wasn’t the most astonishing part, though he looked quite remarkable in the whole get-up. No, the part that had Hermione’s jaw drop to the floor was the fact he had done his hair.<br/>
Of course she had noted he had foregone his usual recreational brewing that morning, nor had he brewn for his studies. Instead, Severus had spent the day reading and scribbling away in that old and battered book of his. </p><p>Now, it was clear why he’d done so. </p><p>His normally greasy locks were still shining, but this time it wasn’t because of the greasy inducing potion fumes, but because apparently he had washed it with not only shampoo but also conditioner. Even in the bun he had pulled it into, which rested on the top of his head, on the spot a Jew would place his kippah, Hermione could see he had really taken his time making sure his hair was clean and soft. In fact, it looked so soft, Hermione had to fight the urge to reach out and give the bun a squeeze. The only thing that kept her from doing exactly that was the prospect of Severus pulling his wand on her if she so much as breathed on his perfectly done man bun.</p><p>“If you’re done staring at me, I suggest we go upstairs,” Severus drawled, still scowling. “We are expected in less than ten minutes.”</p><p>“I wasn’t the one taking a full hour to get ready,” Hermione remarked. “And I’m a girl!”</p><p>“I am sorry I have wasted your time waiting,” Severus said sardonically. “While we all know the female desire to preen themselves whenever they get the chance, I, however, do not have that inclination.”</p><p>If only for his words, Hermione would’ve rolled her eyes and retorted something of her own, the look in Severus’ eyes stopped her from doing that.<br/>
His usually hard exterior was somewhat softened by his fancy attire, but Hermione had seen enough of the boy to know there was more to his words than met the ear.</p><p>“Severus,” she said as she went to stand next to him, meeting his eyes in the mirror. “You have not wasted my time. It doesn’t matter that you don’t have much experience with dressing up. You look good.”</p><p>“Thanks,” he replied, though he didn’t sound entirely convinced as he continued to pull on his tie and sleeves, looking away from her gaze.</p><p>The way his already rigid stance became even more stiff when she got to his side, didn’t go unnoticed by Hermione. Now everything fell into place.</p><p>It wasn’t pure defiance when Severus had said he wouldn’t go to the ball and it wasn’t just the fact he was the age most boys generally dislike dressing up. No, in fact, Hermione suspected he secretly liked the dressing up part. The boy just really was out of his depth.<br/>
He was scared.</p><p>Hermione already knew Severus wasn’t the most social of people, but with Hogwarts’ annual Christmas ball, she’d assumed he was at least used to events like this. What she hadn’t thought of was the possibility that he had stayed far away from those balls, which it seemed like he had.<br/>
During those Christmas parties the night before Christmas break, the entire school, faculty included, let loose and celebrated together. Was it possible Severus had never attended the festivities and instead spent those nights alone?</p><p>At that thought, her already full heart filled with even more empathy and sympathy for the boy who stood beside her. She no longer saw the dour Potions Master behind the young eyes of the boy, but she saw <em>him</em>, Severus Snape, as he was in that time and place. She didn’t see the intimidating, looming figure that had been her Potions Professor. She saw the nervous, anti-social teenager who’d gotten himself into more than one precarious situation over the course of only a few days. She saw a boy who was more bluster than bite, a boy who was actually quite sensitive and insecure, though he tried to come across as the opposite with his rigid and seemingly controlled appearance.</p><p>“Severus,” Hermione repeated his name, searching for his eyes directly now, though he refused to look at her. “You do know I am here for you? And I will be there with you, at the ball. I won’t leave you on your own.”</p><p>“You can’t,” he mumbled to his wrist as he tugged on the lapel of his robes. “You’re not allowed to. I’m sure if you were, you would spend your evening with anyone but me.”</p><p>Taken aback by his reaction, Hermione reached out and enclosed the wrist he’d been muttering to with her hand, literally pulling his attention to her. Without his hair to cover his face, she could tell by his eyes he was more than a little troubled. This self-conscious Severus was new to her, especially in comparison to Mister I-Take-Eight-NEWTS.</p><p>“Severus, listen to me,” she said gently as she looked up to his face. “I will not leave you on your own. I wouldn’t, even if I weren’t ordered to. I can see you’re uncomfortable, so I will be there to ease your pain. Shared sorrow and all.”</p><p>She loosed the grip on his wrist slightly and when he didn’t pull away, she took it as encouragement to go on.</p><p>“Now, I can’t promise you my friend won’t try to say hello and such, ‘cause they will, but I won’t leave your side. Understood? We’re going together and we’ll stay together, alright? You’re not alone in this.</p><p>“And to be honest,” she added. “If I had my way, I would spend my evening on the sofa in the next room reading in front of the fire with a cup of tea made by your hand.”</p><p>“I can make you tea,” was all he said, though his non-verbal reaction spoke more words than he could’ve. </p><p>He gently pulled his wrist back from Hermione’s grasp, but only to take her hand in his properly, and while he did so, his black eyes glittered with something Hermione labeled as relief and gratitude. </p><p>In response, Hermione smiled up at him, her smile growing wider when she saw him smiling back at her. </p><p>At the sight of that rare genuine smile of his, Hermione felt a warmth spreading in her chest and she had a feeling he felt something akin, judging by the way his eyes lit up and his cheeks got a sort of blush.</p><p>Not ready at all to recognise why that warm feeling was there exactly, in addition to the fact she felt little to no guilt when she thought about Ron, of whom she didn’t even know if he got another date or not, Hermione quickly let go of Severus hand, though she couldn’t keep from smiling.</p><p>o0o</p><p>“Ah Miss Granger, Mister Aspen,” McGonagall greeted Hermione and Severus when they walked into the little room next to the Entrance Hall which was still fairly quiet. “Are you ready and warmed-up?”</p><p>In just a few minutes all the guests would start to arrive to the castle and the whole Great Hall would be packed to the brim with witches, wizards, squibs and other magical beings who had fought in the war, wanted to pay a tribute to their school or people who just wanted to get pissed for free. Now only a few Professors and Ministry officials were present, though from the sound of it, some important invitees were already right outside the doors.</p><p>“Er… warmed-up, Professor?” Hermione inquired.</p><p>“Why yes, Miss Granger,” the Headmistress replied rather distractedly as she appeared to be looking for someone. “It’s tradition the guests of the hour open a ball. In this case that’s you and-” she took a quick glance at Severus “-and your friends. Surely I told you that?”</p><p>Ignoring the disgusted look on Severus’ face, Hermione shook her head.</p><p>“No, you didn’t, Professor.”</p><p>Apparently giving up on searching the person she needed, McGonagall looked at the young witch and wizard. Her eyes flitted from Hermione to Severus as she awkwardly scratched the back of her head, taking in the appalled look on both their faces.</p><p>“Well, now you know,” she said finally.</p><p>Hermione opened her mouth to protest, but no sound came out. Severus had no such problem.</p><p>“I was under the impression I had to stay out of sight,” he said, his distaste more than clear in his voice. “Not only am I ordered to attend a very public event, now you tell me I have to dance in front of an audience of Merlin knows how many people? Excuse me, Professor, but that’s not exactly staying in the background, isn’t it?”</p><p>Before he got an answer, Minister Shacklebolt swept into the room, and evidently he was the one McGonagall needed to speak to because she waved to him, drawing his attention.</p><p>“Yes, you’re absolutely right, boy,” she said, completely distracted again, her eyes on Kingsley. “Now, good luck and enjoy your evening!”</p><p>And with that she hurried off in a whirl of tartan robes.</p><p>As soon as the Headmistress was out of earshot, Severus pulled Hermione to the side of the room.</p><p>“I’m not dancing,” he declared. </p><p>This time Hermione had to agree with Severus. How did the Headmistress expect to keep the boy hidden if he had to open a ball in front of the eyes of, well, everybody? </p><p>It wasn’t as if she herself was against having to dance. She had done so in her fourth year during the yule ball, and Viktor had been an amazing dance partner.<br/>
Severus, on the other hand, could prove to be… problematic.<br/>
And in addition to that, she’d had enough attention just after the war and Hermione didn’t feel the need to stand in the spotlights yet again. Actually, one of the benefits of apprenticing was living in a fairly quiet fashion, safe for the few awestruck students who hadn’t been expecting her presence. Though that all died down after the first semester.</p><p>“I’m not keen on the idea either,” Hermione admitted to Severus who was plucking on his sleeve again. “But-”</p><p>As she didn’t have a clue on what to say exactly to placate Severus, she got saved just in time by her friends who waltzed into the room in all Gryffindor manner. Very loudly.</p><p>“Hermione!” they both yelled at the sight of her, not once realising she was talking to someone else.</p><p>They rushed over to her and enveloped her in a group hug a bit too tight for her taste.</p><p>“Hi Harry,” she managed to get out while all the air got squeezed from her lungs. “Hello Ron.”</p><p>“I’ve missed you,” Ron said into her hair.</p><p>“Me too,” said Harry.</p><p>“I’ve missed you too,” Hermione chuckled. “Now let me go, you idiots. You’re ruining my dress.”</p><p>As Harry and Ron stepped back and apologised, Hermione quickly met Severus’ eye, trying to apologise to him without words. He had put a bit of distance between him and the excited young wizards, not only physically, but judging by his impassive expression also mentally.</p><p><em>Well, that’s not good</em>, Hermione thought. </p><p>She didn’t have time to overthink, though because Harry and Ron started to rattle off all the things she had missed during the past few days, not one thing she found particularly interesting.</p><p>“Hermione!” another voice interrupted from behind her. </p><p>She turned to see who it was and she was pleasantly surprised.</p><p>“Ginny! What are you doing here?!”</p><p>“Not going back to school, I can tell you that much,” the red-headed girl laughed as she gave Hermione a quick hug. “Actually Mum let me go as Harry’s date, can you believe it? I still think Dad’s Confunded her to be honest. Harry told me you’re here with a colleague apprentice instead of my idiot brother. Good to see you’ve finally come to your senses.”</p><p>Despite herself, Hermione laughed good-heartedly at Ginny’s joke, though she noticed from the corner of her eye, said brother wasn’t as amused. </p><p>“Ginny, that’s great. I hope you’ll enjoy your evening together,” she said sincerely, before leaning over to whisper in her friend's ear. “Do you happen to know who Ron’s date it?”</p><p>“Veronique’s a student at Beauxbatons. Her dad has some influence in higher places so she could tag along. Why?” Ginny wanted to know. “So you’ll know if you’ve got to be worried and jealous?”</p><p>“No! You’re absolutely terrible, Ginny,” Hermione chided the younger girl whose smile only grew at her comment. “I’ve got my own date and he’s a perfect gentleman, thank you.”</p><p>That was the first mistake Hermione made because now Ginny’s smile turned into a conspiratorial expression as she looked around the room. </p><p>“Who is it then?” she asked in a hushed voice. “The shy one over by the wall, the one in the dark robes?”</p><p>She indicated the lad in the corner with a flick of her head and Hermione had to hold her laughter, for Ginny’s assessment of the wizard by the wall was spot on. <em>If she only knew.</em></p><p>Hermione nodded. “Yes, that’s him. Actually I’ll go over now. It’s a bit rude to let him stand there on his own, don’t you think?”</p><p>Before she could get away, Ginny grabbed her arm and pulled her in. The girl’s eyes roamed freely over Severus’ body as she inspected him.</p><p>“He’s sexy!” the girl hissed in her ear. “He’s all mysterious. And look at the man bun! The guy’s got style! Good for you!”</p><p>Hoping the other girl wouldn’t notice her blushing profusely, tried to free her arm, but to her dismay, that only caused Ginny to tighten her grip.<br/>
Looking over at Severus, she saw he was looking at them, and while his eyes portrayed nothing of his thoughts, Hermione could tell his amusement by his raised left eyebrow.</p><p>“Do you have any other sexy potions apprentices lying around?” she asked? “How long have you known each other? Do you know each other well?” </p><p>Then the red-head had the nerve to wiggle her eyebrows, making Hermione blush even more, if that was possible.</p><p>“Are you sure, Ron and you are that serious?” Ginny continued undisturbed. “If I were you I would’ve known what to do, believe me.”</p><p>“Ginny, stop it!” Hermione pleaded in a hushed voice. She didn’t want Ron to overhear, or Severus for that matter.</p><p>Ginny just laughed. “It’s your choice of course. But if it were me…” Hermione flicked the girl’s forehead with her free hand. Oi, okay, okay! I’ll stop! Don’t get your knickers in a twist! Or do, I’m sure he’ll help you untangle them.”</p><p>Before Hermione could respond, Ginny danced out of reach and went quickly to Harry’s side, though Hermione noticed the girl wouldn’t stop smirking.</p><p>Rolling her eyes, she went back to Severus, who had some serious case of scowl-itis going on, his earlier amusement nowhere to be seen.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” she asked. “I wasn’t that long gone. I wasn’t even gone, I was just over there.”</p><p>“It’s nothing,” he gritted out between his teeth, though his glare stayed in place.</p><p>Following his line of sight, Hermione got confused. It appeared like he was looking at Harry and Ginny, but there was no reason for Severus to be so agitated. He didn’t know them yet. </p><p>“Severus,” Hermione said in a low voice so only he could hear her using his actual name. “We’re in this together. You can talk to me.”</p><p>If he actually would open up this time, Hermione didn’t get to know, because McGonagall came into the room and announced for every couple to line up.</p><p>“The evening will start any second now,” the Scot said. “Everyone’s inside, so we will change locations to the Entrance Hall, from where we’ll enter the Great Hall and open the ball.”</p><p>“Everyone ready?” Kingsley asked, as he patted his wife on the hand he held.</p><p>A collective mumble confirmed and Hermione and Severus followed Harry and Ginny, who walked behind the Headmistress and some unknown man, out the door. They were followed by Ron and this black-haired girl with one long plait down her back who was apparently his date. Behind them the Minister and his wife closed their little group.</p><p>“I’m sorry about this,” Hermione whispered to Severus as he steered her through the door. “You can just follow me. I’ll lead.”</p><p>“That is not necessary,” was all he said in response.</p><p>Wondering what he was planning to do, Hermione quietly walked beside Severus, who gently held her arm, her hand tucked into the crook of his elbow, his hand placed on top of hers.</p><p>The little group came to a halt in front of the large doors leading to the Great Hall, and Hermione could hear Ginny and Harry whispering excitedly. The rest was equally silent.</p><p>They didn’t have to wait long before music was heard from inside the Hall and the wooded doors opened slowly, revealing a mass of people and a few other creatures.<br/>
To her immediate left, Hermione saw the Weasleys and Neville and Luna. In the far back, Firenze and Bane were looking over the heads of all the witches and wizards. Not far from them, Seamus, Dean, Justin, Hannah, Susan and the Patil sisters were all looking expectantly at the small line Hermione found herself walking in.</p><p>The Hall itself was absolutely stunning and Hermione suspected the already large room had been magically expanded to accommodate the enormous mass of people that had showed up. The ceiling showed a clear starry night, which fitted the dark blue and silver decorations adorning the walls. The blue was a smart choice, Hermione thought as she was led to the open space where she was supposed to dance with Severus.<br/>
Blue was the colour of serenity and reliability, in other words, the perfect colour to send for a fundraiser after a war.</p><p>She got pulled from her thoughts, when Severus placed her hand on his shoulder and took her other hand in his. Waiting in position for the music to change, she met his eyes, which were still closed off, though his face was slightly more relaxed.<br/>
Looking around, Hermione saw Harry holding Ginny in the manner, as did Ron, Kingsley and McGonagall’s dance partner. They all looked at their partner as they stood completely still.</p><p>“Are you sure you-” Hermione began hesitantly, but he cut her off.</p><p>“Trust me,” he said. </p><p>Hermione couldn’t help but smile a little at his solemn tone.</p><p>“It’s a bit too late to not trust you know what you’re doing, is it?” she retorted, earning one of his eyebrow raises.</p><p>They didn’t have time for any more banter because the music suddenly changed and the four other couples came to live. And to Hermione’s surprise, so did she and Severus.</p><p>Seemingly effortless, Severus led her around the room, twirling her around, waltzing the night away. She didn’t even have to think about her own footwork, ‘cause he led her so perfectly, she only had to follow his body. In fact, the one time she did think about it, was the time she messed up, though Severus pulled her seamlessly to the next steps, without missing one beat.</p><p>Around halfway through the dance, Hermione got the hang of it and could relax enough to actually enjoy their dance. Still astonished the boy knew how to dance and was good at it, too, Hermione smiled up at him. His lips were pursed in concentration, but his eyes showed he was at least enjoying himself a little bit.</p><p>“Where did you learn to dance like this?” she dared to ask after Severus had lifted her and brought her back to her feet.</p><p>“A friend insisted I learned how to dance,” he replied calmly. </p><p>Hermione noted his words matched the paces of the music.</p><p>“You continue to surprise me, Severus Snape,” she said.</p><p>“I do not know who this Severus Snape is,” Severus smirked. “Je m’appelle Verseus Aspen. Je suis de la France.”</p><p>“Alright, monsieur Aspen,” Hermione laughed. “You win. Though actually I win, ‘cause I’m the girl with the brilliant French dancer.”</p><p>Severus merely rolled his eyes at that as he continued to move them around the floor. Hermione did notice, however, he seemed to relax just a tad more, which made her smile.</p><p>After another twirl and lift, the song was at its end and slowed down into the outro.<br/>
Like true gentlemen, the male dancers bowed after kissing the hand of their female counterparts, who curtsied in turn. </p><p>Their audience, whom Hermione had completely forgotten about during the dance, burst into applause. Smiling at Severus, she noticed as he straightened his back after his bow, he looked a lot more at ease than before. There was a certain way he held himself, with more confidence, unlike before when he was either about to erupt in anger, or at least his eyes, or so uncomfortable, you would’ve thought he would curl into himself at any moment.<br/>
Ginny was right, Hermione thought to herself as she looked into Severus’ content and slightly smug eyes, he is bloody sexy. </p><p>“Ladies and gentlemen!” Professor McGonagall’s voice interrupted her thoughts. The Headmistress was using her wand to enhance her voice’s volume to reach everyone’s ears. “Welcome to Hogwarts! I am proud to say that after a year of hard work, the castle is back to her former glory. And not only that, we have added a whole new apprentice programme and other changes are yet to come. I appreciate you all being here, and as always, this school cannot run without her students, but now more than ever. Please feel free to donate whatever you have to give, so we can continue to give our children the magical education they deserve. Thank you for coming and enjoy your evening!”<br/>
Another round of applause followed the Headmistress’ words and the orchestra started the next song.</p><p>Looking around, Hermione saw they were now standing amidst dozens of waltzing people and when Ron came into view, she felt a pang of guilt through her chest as she followed Severus to the side of the room. He hadn’t wasted a second stalking off the dancefloor as soon as the applause had died down.</p><p>Though she probably should’ve seen it coming, only now did Hermione fully admit it to herself. She liked Severus Snape, or Verseus Aspen, or the Half-Blood Prince, or whoever he called himself these days. She liked the wizard who’d pulled her to and fro and had led her expertly over the dance floor in front of so many others, despite his earlier protests and concerns.<br/>
Yes well, of course she knew she liked the boy. They got along pretty well, their minds buzzing on the same wave-lenght. She already knew she liked his company and the fact they had the same interests and enthusiasm about those interests. But only now, did she realise she liked the wizard, not just his company. </p><p>The realisation hit her like the Hogwarts’ Express and for a split-second she panicked. Telling herself to keep calm and level-headed, she forced her breathing to keep steady and willed her hands to stay dry. If Severus had noticed her brief inner panic, he didn’t say, but there was no telling what he actually thought or saw.</p><p>They were already on the third song, when Neville and Ginny popped up and took a seat beside them. </p><p>“Enjoying yourselves?” Neville asked as he watched Harry leading Luna skilfully around the floor. Evidently he had learned much since the horrendous Yule Ball dance in their fourth year.</p><p>Granting a smirking Ginny with one of her more scathing looks, Hermione nodded.</p><p>“In fact, I am,” she said after pulling her facial features into a more natural state. “And you?”</p><p>“You know,” said Neville. “Honestly when McGonagall told me about it, I wasn’t sure what to think of it. I wasn’t particularly interested in another ball, but I have to admit, I’m quite enjoying myself.”</p><p>“That’s great, Neville,” Hermione smiled at her friend before turning back to face Severus, whose expression had turned back into his trademark scowl.</p><p>“And who is your date?” Ginny asked with a mischievous look in her eyes which Hermione didn’t like, though she could hardly blame the witch. “We haven’t met, have we?”</p><p>“He’s French and doesn’t speak English very well,” Hermione said quickly before Severus had to answer.</p><p>That was the second mistake Hermione made. She’d forgotten the girl had spent the last year attending a French boarding school and was perfectly capable of conversing in French.</p><p>“Ah salut!” Ginny greeted Severus, ignoring Hermione’s glare. “Comment ça va? Tu aimes Hogwarts? Que penses-tu de mon amie?”</p><p>“He doesn’t talk mu-” Hermione began to say, but Severus cut in.</p><p>“Bonsoir,” he said in a perfect French accent. “Ça va bien, merci beaucoup. Et toi? J’adore Hogwarts. Elle est la plus belle. Ton amie aussi.”</p><p>Whatever he said, Ginny seemed pleased by his answer and she smiled at both Hermione and Severus. Then she tugged Neville Harry away and let Hermione and Severus on their own.</p><p>“What did you say to her?” Hermione demanded to know when the fourth song ended. She glanced around for any eavesdroppers, but she discreetly cast a Privacy charm but for good measures.</p><p>“Talk,” she ordered.</p><p>“She asked what I thought of Hogwarts,” Severus shrugged. “I told her I think it’s the most beautiful.”</p><p>“That’s it?” Hermione asked. “It sounded like you said more than that.”</p><p>“How do you know? You don’t speak any French.”</p><p>“You’re not even allowed to speak,” Hermione pointed out, ignoring his comment.</p><p>“And yet, here we are, you asking me questions,” Severus remarked dryly.</p><p>“Alright, I concede,” Hermione huffed as she studied the dancing people. </p><p>Though quite energetic, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were engaged in some rather rare kind of waltz, which looked more like a chicken dance. Neville, who had switched back with Harry, seemed to be in form and he and Luna could’ve come directly out of a fairy tale. Dancing near them, Harry and Ginny seemed at ease in each other’s arm and they swayed comfortably back and forth.<br/>
However, Hermione wasn’t quite sure what Seamus and Dean were supposed to portray because it wasn’t a waltz, and she wasn’t certain if whatever it was they were doing could be classified as a dance at all.</p><p>Severus’ silence brought Hermione back to her earlier thoughts about the wizard himself.<br/>
Repeatedly asking herself if she really did fancy him, got her nowhere because deep down she knew the answer was yes, though it still felt wrong to admit that to herself. She didn’t even know where Ron was at the moment as he wasn’t on the dancefloor, though his date was, dancing with Justin Finch-Fletchley.</p><p>Ginny’s words kept circling in her head. Yes, looking at Severus dressed in his fancy robes and his hair pulled back like that, he was quite handsome. Not conventionally, like a Witch’s Weekly cover model, but there was certainly something alluring to him. And to be honest, Hermione didn’t think he looked that bad at all on a daily basis, safe for his greasy hair, pallid skin, overly large nose and crooked yellowish teeth.<br/>
Well, okay, maybe his features could be considered ugly per definition, but still, that didn’t really register with her. Hermione just wasn’t that shallow. What she saw was Severus’ brilliance and creativity, his witty, though often sardonic, remarks, the way he held himself in control, how focused he could be. </p><p>Okay, she did fancy him alright. And because Hermione really wasn’t that shallow to begin with, this was clearly more than just lusting over some handsome fellow. </p><p>Now, here Ginny’s words came back to mind. Did she really think Ron and she were that serious? Were they really boyfriend and girlfriend? Or just dating?<br/>
They held hands, occasionally. They had never been intimate in any other way. And honestly, in comparison to her bond with Severus, Hermione didn’t think there was that much of a connection between her and Ron. Of course they had been friends for years, but that friendship stemmed from something completely unrelated to their relationship nowadays.<br/>
Come to think of it, Hermione distinctly remembered what went down prior to the event resulting in Harry, Ron and her becoming friends. In fact, it had been something Ron had said that had caused her to cry her eyes out all alone in a bathroom. Pathetic, really, when she thought about it. </p><p><em>Just think, Granger</em>, Hermione urged herself to keep composed.</p><p>First off, Ron and she didn’t have that awful lot in common. In fact, they didn’t have anything in common at all, except for all the memories they had made together because of the sheer circumstances.<br/>
Second, their friendship was based on yet another series of weird circumstances, involving a near dead-experience. To put it bluntly, their friendship was nothing more than some sort worshipping her life-saving hero. At least she and Harry shared their connection with the Muggle world, but Ron and she had nothing.<br/>
Third, even if they hadn’t anything in common, that shouldn’t matter that much if the feelings were there. But in this case, they weren’t, were they? And that was a fact, Hermione found hard to overlook.<br/>
Then fourth, considering the previous three points, Severus, on the other hand, shared a lot of her interests and even if he didn’t he was still willing to listen to her, though grudgingly. Perhaps that made him even better; even when he didn’t think something was particularly interesting, he still listened to her and didn’t just pretend. If he wanted her to shut up, he just told her so. While many would consider him rude, Hermione rather liked Severus’ direct approach on things.</p><p>But most important, was the feeling there with Severus? </p><p>Now she saw the wizard in a new light, Hermione thought back to the past days.</p><p>She thought back to their duel in the Room of Requirement and the way his voice had whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine. She thought about the time they’d held hands by the lake, after their duel. She remembered their talk after that disastrous game of Never Have I Ever, she remembered his reaction to learning about his own death. She revisited the night he had played the piano and had completely transformed right before her eyes. This evening of waltzing only helped to prove her earlier observation; Severus could lose himself in music, the way she could in her books.<br/>
Then she thought about their charms practice. She had flat out laughed at him, at his expanse, and instead of getting angry with her, he’d shown her the error of her ways in a playful, yet successful manner.<br/>
Not to mention what had happened only a few days ago in the Dark Forest with the Fwoopers. </p><p>Oh, she was so, so buggered.</p><p>Not only did she have to have some serious conversation with Ron, she had to deal with her own feelings which were almost certainly unrequited. And besides, even if they weren’t, it didn’t matter, because at any given moment Severus was to return to the past and after that they would never see each other again.</p><p>“Are they coming or not?” Severus' hushed voice caught her attention and Hermione got whipped back into reality.</p><p>“Wait, what?”</p><p>“Everyone’s getting dinner,” he said. “Are you coming or should I just get you something?”</p><p>Looking around the room, Hermione saw people standing in groups with a plate in their hands and other people sitting on big round tables, enjoying their food and each other’s company. The orchestra had stopped playing dance music and was now catering the guests’ ears with mellow jazz music.<br/>
Severus was no longer sitting beside her but stood in front of her with his arms crossed over his chest as he peered down at her.</p><p>“I would like to get my dinner today,” Severus drawled. “So if you’ve got other plans, be my guest, but I’m going to get some food.”</p><p>Hurriedly, Hermione got to her feet and followed Severus into the crowd, absentmindedly reaching out for his hand when he walked too fast to keep up. He surprised her by taking her hand in his and placing it in the crook of his arm as he slowed his pace and shortened his strides. They walked in comfortable silence, with Severus leading her through the masses to the two empty spots on a table in the left corner of the Hall.</p><p>“Hey ‘Mione!” Ron’s voice sounded from somewhere and a second later its owner showed up from amidst all the other partygoers. </p><p>“Don’t say a word,” Hermione hissed to Severus before she forced herself to smile at the red-headed boy. As a response, Severus gave her a little pat on the hand he held in the nook of his arm.</p><p>“What an evening, eh?” Ron panted slightly as he fell into step with Hermione and Severus.</p><p>“It’s not even going on for a hour, Ronald,” Hermione replied, though she resisted rolling her eyes.</p><p>Ron, not put off in the slightest, continued as if he hadn’t heard her.</p><p>“I’m not sure where Harry and Ginny are, but they seem to be happy enough with each other,” he said. “I think I left Veronica somewhere over there.” He gestured vaguely in the direction of the right side of the Hall. “Bloody brilliant she is. Good with her feet, I mean. She has nothing on you, ‘Mione. Mentally that is.” </p><p>He gave her a lopsided grin, which made him look more like thirteen than his actual eighteen years. </p><p>“Speaking of Veronica,” he went on without giving Hermione a chance to react, “you two haven’t met yet, have you? I think you’ll get along. She’s from France; Ginny brought her along when she heard I needed another date. Now that I mention it, why is that really? You said something about apprentice duties, but attending a fundraiser can’t have something to do with an apprenticeship now, does it?”</p><p>For the first time it seemed, he took a moment to look at the wizard holding Hermione’s hand.</p><p>“Is this the bloke from France?” Ron asked, sounding genuinely interested.</p><p>“Yes, it is,” Hermione answered, not feeling the need to elaborate.</p><p>“Nice to meet you, mate,” Ron said, extending his hand for Severus to shake, which he did silently. “Keep an eye on this one. She’s a handful, my girl.”</p><p>Severus merely raised an eyebrow at Ron’s words, but held his tongue, though Hermione had a feeling he wasn’t amused this time. She had felt him tense up under her hand on his arm the moment Ron had approached them, and the look on his face was more like a sneer than anything else.</p><p>“Alright, got to go, love,” Ron said as he turned back to Hermione. “I figure I have to find Veronica before she gets herself lost or something. Not the fastest wand in the shed, that one, I tell you.”</p><p>“Don’t be mean, Ronald,” Hermione reprimanded him, though a small smile tugged on the corner of her lips.</p><p>He gave her another one of his boyish smiles. “Can’t blame me now that I don’t have you on my arm to keep me in check all evening.” he eyed Severus for a moment. “Treat her right, mate, or I will find you.”</p><p>Reigning in her temper, Hermione bit her lower lip to keep herself from admonishing Ron for his appalling manners, but he didn’t give her room for any of that. </p><p>“Right, see you later, ‘Mione,” he said before quickly pressing a kiss to her cheek and bustling off.</p><p>“Charming lad,” Severus deadpanned as he pulled out a chair for Hermione.</p><p>“He isn’t that bad,” she replied as she felt a rose coming up on her cheeks at the display of Severus’ excellent manners. “And you, monsieur, have to keep quiet, remember?”</p><p>Certain he’d heard her perfectly, Severus apparently chose to ignore her reminder of his vow of silence.</p><p>“I assume the lovely guy is your boyfriend? Or are all your male friends that protective of you?” </p><p>“He’s <em>not</em> my boyfriend,” Hermione said before thinking better of it as she fingered the dark blue tablecloth. “Though we are… involved, I suppose you could say. And for your information, yes, all my friends are that protective of me. Not unlike yourself, I have to say.”</p><p>If Severus had anything to say, he didn’t. Instead he studied the little menu card placed next to his plate and after giving it some thought, he ordered the plate to provide him with a duck breast, baby potatoes and haricoverts. In an instant his food materialised out of thin air and his crystal goblet filled itself with something Hermione thought was elf-made red wine.</p><p>Following his example, Hermione fixed herself a plate of salmon tartare with potato wedges and ribbons of carrots. One look at her goblet made Hermione raise her eyebrows in surprise. Apparently the glass had decided a bubbling white wine was more appropriate with her meal, since she hadn’t ordered the beverage herself.</p><p>“Enjoy your meal.”</p><p>Hermione looked up to see George grinning at her from across the table. He was flanked by his girlfriend, Angelina Johnson.</p><p>“Thanks,” Hermione said with a smile. “You too.”</p><p>Digging into her food, Hermione had to bite back a moan. It wasn’t as if she wasn’t spoiled with Severus’ handmade meals, but this feast was of another caliber. A gala had obviously warranted the House-Elves to pull out all the stops.</p><p>“What do you think of Ron’s date?” George asked without any tact, causing Angelina to slap him on the chest.</p><p>“I haven’t met her yet, but I’m sure she’s lovely,” Hermione answered truthfully.</p><p>“According to Ginny, Veronique has a boyfriend back in France,” George said. “Not that they told Ron that of course.”</p><p>Eating in silence, Hermione took the time to look around.</p><p>Harry and Ron were sitting at the fourth table to her left. McGonagall was nowhere to be seen, probably patrolling around the room or grounds, as was Jonas. Neville and Luna were seated a little bit closer, only one table between them. The other Weasleys all shared a table on the other side of the Hall; they were all laughing at something Mr. Weasley’d said.<br/>
At her own table, safe for George, Angelina and Severus, she didn’t didn’t think she knew anyone. They were either employees of the Ministry, people from the outer ranks of the Order or just former students of the school.<br/>
Despite her initial assessment of her tablemates, Hermione was proved wrong when a highly annoying voice made itself audible.</p><p>“Hermione Granger!” it said. “Long time no see! I see you’re here without Weasley? Perhaps you’ll grant me a dance later tonight?”</p><p>Sighing inwardly, Hermione turned her head to see Cormac McLaggen sitting on her right. She hadn’t noticed him next to the rather large with flanking his left side. And truth be told, he wasn’t like Hermione remembered him, ‘cause despite his rude manners, he had always looked terribly handsome. Now nothing could be farther from the truth.<br/>
It was obvious McLaggen had indulged himself in his freedom after the war. He’d gained a considerable amount of weight, making his face almost unrecognisable due to his puffy cheeks. In all honesty, Hermione thought he could give Slughorn a run for his Galleons. In fact, despite the fact the evening was still young, McLaggen appeared to be thoroughly pissed already.</p><p>“Cormac,” she greeted him with forced politeness. “How are you?”</p><p>“Good, good,” he said, gesturing wildly with his left arm. “I have just made a generous donation for the school. Of course I’m willing to put in a few Galleons in order to ensure our future children can enjoy their education as much as we did.”</p><p>Unfortunately, his left hand was occupied with his fork which was now empty, because the green peas that had been stuck on it were now flying all over the table. On her left, Hermione heard Severus snort when Angelina pulled a pea from her decolleté. The others at the table refused to give the barbaric wizard any second of their attention other than throwing a quick look of disdain at him.</p><p>“Between Professor Quirrell and that toad Umbridge and her infamous quills, I hardly think of my school days as a source of enjoyment,” Hermione said icily.</p><p>McLaggen either didn’t notice her tone or didn’t care. “You know, I thought about you the other day. Actually, funny story, I was just about to-”</p><p>“You’ll have to excuse me, Cormac,” Hermione interrupted him without caring how rude she sounded. “I was planning on enjoying my evening and I’m afraid listening to you will not result in that.”</p><p>“Excuse me,” she said, addressing her other tablemates as she got to her feet.</p><p>Leaving her dinner for what it was, she started off in the direction of the staff’s entrance at the other side of the room, but after only a few angry strides, someone grabbed her wrist.</p><p>“What?!” she snapped without looking who it was.</p><p>After proving unsuccessful to free herself, she sighed heavily and just decided to carry on, tugging the other person with her, not noticing the other actually let her drag them across the Hall filled with fancy dressed people.</p><p>Out in the little but most important empty room next to the Great Hall, Hermione took her time to actually look at the person she’d unconsciously pulled with her.</p><p>“What are you doing here, Ron?” she asked tiredly.</p><p>“What did that prat say to you?” he asked in return, his ears turning red.</p><p>“Nothing out of the ordinary for him,” Hermione replied, sighing again.</p><p>“I will strangle that idiot,” Ron ground out, letting go of Hermione to wring his hands. “The nerve he has to upset my girl!”</p><p>Folding her arms under her breasts, Hermione didn’t even try to resist rolling her eyes. In the meantime, Ron continued to rant about Cormac.</p><p>“That vile excuse of a wizard,” he thundered. “How dare he mess with my witch!”</p><p>Hearing for the third time that evening she was Ron’s, Hermione had enough.</p><p>“I’m not you witch, Ron,” she said heavily. “I’m not anyone’s witch.”</p><p>“Wait till I get my hand on his filthy- Wait what?” Ron paused his pacing and fuming to look at Hermione. “Of course you’re my witch! What do you mean?”</p><p>“Has it ever crossed your mind that I don’t like to be referred to as anyone’s property, Ronald?” Hermione asked. “Besides, are we really an item? I mean we hardly speak anymore anyway.”</p><p>“Wait a second,” Ron started, already jumping to conclusions. “Are you breaking up with me?”</p><p>Getting fed up with everyone and everything for the night, Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose. </p><p>“No, I’m not Ron,” she said. “In order to be able to do so, we would have to be in an actual relationship.”</p><p> Ron approached her tentatively, frowning as he tried to process her words. </p><p>“I thought we kind of were?” he asked cautiously.</p><p>“Me too,” Hermione sighed softly as she let herself slide to the floor and sat down with her knees pulled up to her chest.</p><p>“But now you don’t.” It sounded like a statement more than a question.</p><p>Hermione looked up at the ginger wizard. This was the boy she had fallen head over heels for somewhere during her fifth year. While his boyish features were kind of endearing, in comparison to Severus it wasn’t what Hermione was looking for in a wizard. And it wasn’t as if Ron was completely stupid, though he acted like it a bit to often, he could actually be quite clever, if his brilliant chess games were any indication. Mind you, she still loved him, she did. Just not like that.</p><p>Ron just wasn’t who and what Hermione needed.</p><p>“No, I don’t,” she admitted in an almost whisper as a lonely tear slid escaped her eye.</p><p>To Ron’s credit, he didn’t lash out or tried to talk her out of it. He just sat down next to her in silence.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Hermione offered after a while. “I am. I didn’t mean to hurt you when I went into whatever it was between us. I just know we aren’t meant to be.”</p><p>“And he is?” Again, to give credit where credit was due, Ron didn’t sound like he was prying or accusing her. He sounded more like a defeated man. Maybe he’d matured more than she’d thought, Hermione thought. </p><p>“Who is?” Hermione asked in genuine confusion. She didn’t think Ron could mean Severus. The two had hardly spoken to each other.</p><p>“Your French lad Verseus Aspen?” Ron took her by surprise. “I saw the way you looked at him while you were dancing. You used to look at me like that.”</p><p>“I truly am sorry, Ron,” Hermione said, choosing not to address Ron’s observation, partly because he didn’t want to hurt him any further, but also because she didn’t think she was ready to. If Ron really recognised the look on her face she had when she looked at Severus, as the way she’d looked at Ron, then whatever she was feeling for Severus, was more than just a little crush. </p><p><em>Didn’t you already know that?</em> she asked herself, <em>Don’t be daft, it doesn’t suit you, Granger.</em></p><p>“For what it’s worth,” Ron tried for what was supposed to be a loftily tone. “I think he likes you too.”</p><p>“What makes you say that?” she tried to keep her voice void of any eagerness.</p><p>Despite everything, Ron chuckled softly. “I also saw the way he looked at you.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>Ron picked at his cuticles. “And Ginny told me he thought you’re most beautiful.”</p><p>“She did what?!” Hermione asked in full disbelief.</p><p>“She said she’d spoken with him in French and knowing you wouldn’t be able to understand them, she asked him what he thought of you,” Ron explained. “He said you’re most beautiful. And he’s not wrong.”</p><p>“Thanks, Ron,” Hermione said with a small smile, leaning against him.</p><p>They sat in silence for a moment before Hermione broke it.</p><p>“Are you going to be alright?” she mumbled into Ron’s shoulder.</p><p>“Who do you think you’re speaking to?” he said. “Of course I’m going to be alright. I’ve faced worse things than some know-it-all witch breaking-up with me, you know. I’ve survived Lavender Brown.”</p><p>“Yes, poor lack of judgment, that,” she grinned.</p><p>“I’ll still love you, you know,” Ron said. “I’ll just try to love you in another way.”</p><p>“You know, Ron,” Hermione replied. “I think you’ve learned more than just about combat and Dark Magic during your Auror’s training.”</p><p>“Thanks, love,” he said before pressing a kiss to the top of her head and standing up. “I guess I have to find Veronica and save her from herself.”</p><p>“You do know her name is Veronique, not Veronica?” Hermione asked, already knowing the answer.</p><p>“It is?” It sounded genuinely surprised. “Blimey, thanks for telling me. That would’ve been embarrassing.”</p><p>Chuckling, Hermione shook her head and watched as Ron exited the small room.</p><p>Her laughter soon died when she realised what had happened and tears began welling up again. Curling up into a little ball, she didn’t notice the door opening again.</p><p>“Are you alright?”</p><p>Looking up, she saw Severus standing in front of her. Furiously wiping at her tears, she forced a smile on her face.</p><p>“Yes, I am. Thanks for asking though.”</p><p>She watched as he raised his left eyebrow at her and sat down in the spot Ron had just vacated.</p><p>“You left me.”</p><p>“I did. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Are you alright?”</p><p>“I’m not the one crying on my own,” Severus pointed out, making Hermione laugh despite her tears.</p><p>“I’m not on my own anymore,” she said, placing her head on Severus’ shoulder.</p><p>“But still crying.”</p><p>“I guess.”</p><p>A few minutes in silence passed before Severus was the first to speak again.</p><p>“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked hesitantly. It was obvious he wasn’t comfortable with the crying witch on his shoulder.</p><p>“Yes, I am, truly,” Hermione murmured. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to find me like this. How did you find me exactly?”</p><p>“That wizard of yours found me and said to come here and make sure you were okay.”</p><p>“Cormac is NOT my wizard!” She shuddered at the mere thought of it.</p><p>She felt Severus shake his head. “No, that other one, the redhead.”</p><p>“Oh,” she said. “He’s not my wizard either, though.”</p><p>“It’s not my business.”<br/>
Though she appreciated Severus not prying for more information, she thought he couldn’t be farther from the truth. It had everything to do with him.</p><p>“Sickle for your thoughts?” Severus' voice cut through her endless thoughts.</p><p>“And here I was thinking you preferred me silent,” Hermione quipped despite herself.</p><p>“Contrary to popular beliefs, I do know how to socialise,” Severus countered dryly. “And you think so loudly, your thoughts are going to render me deaf if you don’t voice them, so out with it.”</p><p>Confirming her suspicions Severus already knew at least a bit of Occlumency and Legilimency, Hermione asked, “If you can hear my thoughts, why do I need to say them out loud?”</p><p>“I can’t,” Severus replied calmly. “but something obviously bugs you, and I thought witches liked to use wizards as sounding boards. So don’t make me regret this, but I’m offering you to use me as your sounding board this once.”</p><p>“Why, tread carefully, Verseus,” Hermione said, a smile forming on her lips. “You almost sound sweet. Is that something French or it is something you got from your counterpart Severus Snape?”</p><p>“Mister Snape is known to have his moments.”</p><p>“Yes, you do,” Hermione agreed, mumbling rather inaudibly into his shoulder.</p><p>“So?” Severus pressed when she kept silent. “This offer isn’t indefinite, you know.”</p><p>Hermione sighed. “Let’s just say Ron was never going to be <em>my</em> wizard, but now he definitely isn’t going to be, ever.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>“See? Not so interesting, is it?” Hermione said before changing the subject. “Now, tell me, what did you do while I was here?” </p><p>“I finished my dinner, listened to the other ginger and his partner. They’re quite funny,” Severus added. “That Cormac-bloke is something else, is he? Why did you storm off like that? He wasn’t that obnoxious yet, was he? You stalked off before you could hear his endless blubbering about his wealth and Quidditch skills.”</p><p>With everything going on with Ron, Hermione had completely forgotten about McLaggen, but now that Severus’d mentioned it, everything came flooding back and her eyes filled with tears again.</p><p>“Okay, hey, I’m sorry!” Severus tried to calm her, putting his arm around her and pulling her closer to him, though he clearly wasn’t sure if his touch was welcome. “What’s wrong? What did I do? Did I hurt you?”</p><p>Leaning into him, making clear his embrace was most welcome, Hermione continued to sob into his chest, unable to answer him.</p><p>More than a bit awkwardly, she felt him pat her head as they sat in silence.</p><p>“You didn’t do anything,” she managed to get out as her sobs died down, though her chest was still heaving and breathing was rather difficult with blocked sinuses.</p><p>“He did.”</p><p>Severus’ calm and almost detached tone helped Hermione get back to her senses and she took a few deep breaths through her mouth.</p><p>“Let me help you with that,” Severus said as he withdrew his wand.</p><p>He tapped her cheeks with the point of his wand and instantly Hermione’s head cleared of all the snot and tears.</p><p>“Thanks,” she said with a still not completely stable voice.</p><p>“I'm sorry he hurt you,” Severus said, not acknowledging her thanks.</p><p>“Me too,” Hermione mumbled sadly.</p><p>“Did he-” Severus hesitated.</p><p>“Oh no!” Hermione rushed to say. “Gosh no! Nothing that serious! He just er… he felt me up and tried to shove his tongue down my throat. Anyway it happened long ago. I don’t know why it still gets to me like this. I should know better.”</p><p>For a while Severus said nothing as he continued to caress her head. Then he said something that made Hermione wonder if he was some sort of old spirit.</p><p>“Sometimes our oldest demons are the ones that haunt us the most. It doesn’t matter how long ago they happened, if it hurts, it hurts. Don’t feel stupid because you feel like you should’ve gotten over it by now. That’s not how hurting works.</p><p>“But even though we hurt sometimes, in the end that’s what makes us feel alive. Without the deep trenches of pain, our happiness would mean nothing.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please bear with me. The next one isn't going to be as long, I think... We'll see. </p><p>Hope you like my version of Ron. I never really liked the Ron-bashing, though I have to admit it's easy to be lured into. Hopefully my rendition of him is a bit more appealing. I always thought people didn't give him enough credit, though I obviously didn't see him ending up with Hermione.</p><p>Also, please excuse my aweful use of the anagram of Severus' name. Like most writers, I'm a sucker for anagrams, but it just does not work with his name. It's still better than just giving him some random french name, though...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter thirteen - Bottoms up!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Despite her "run-in" with Ron, Hermione is determined to have a good time. Will she succeed?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>translations for the french at the bottom!</p><p>much love :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter thirteen - Bottoms up!</h1><p>
  <em>“Sometimes our oldest demons are the ones that haunt us the most. It doesn’t matter how long ago they happened, if it hurts, it hurts. Don’t feel stupid because you feel like you should’ve gotten over it by now. That’s not how hurting works.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“But even though we hurt sometimes, in the end that’s what makes us feel alive. Without the deep trenches of pain, our happiness would mean nothing.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>           The silence in which Hermione and Severus sat after those wise words got interrupted by yelling from the other side of the door. Obviously the alcohol had flowed freely for quite some time now and drunk people were starting ruckus.</p><p>“I think we need to get back, before the Headmistress throws a fit when she can’t find us” Hermione said with a small voice, not wanting to exit Severus’ warm and comforting embrace. </p><p>She had to, eventually. Actually, she hadn’t moved a finger after her comment and only after another quiet moment of sitting in Severus’ arms, the wizard had gently untangled the witch from his embrace. </p><p>Wordlessly, he rose and pulled Hermione to her feet. Then he led her back to the Great Hall without saying a single word.</p><p>Even before the door closed behind them, a wall of sound hit their ears.<br/>
Clearly everyone had been enjoying themselves like only wizards could and not only the younger guest but also parents and former teachers were shamelessly drunk. All in favour of the donations box of course, which glowed up whenever people put in a knut. It was glowing constantly.</p><p>“Ah there you are! I was wondering where you’d been.” </p><p>Hermione tore her eyes away from her drunk friends -Seamus had Dean on his shoulders and they were waltzing with Parvati and Susan simultaneously- and looked up to stare right into the face of the Headmistress.</p><p>“Professor McGonagall,” she greeted, hastily wiping away a stray tear from her cheek.</p><p>“Are we enjoying ourselves?” the elder witch was yet again rather distracted. “Mister Cooper, Miss Kin, ten points from Gryffindor each and if I see you doing that again, you will be spending your next Hogsmead weekend in detention!” she told two fourth year students who were drinking the remainders of wine people had left in their forgotten goblets. “It won’t be long and the entire Hall will be in shambles again with how it’s going,” she then said to Hermione and Severus.</p><p>Hermione didn’t think she heard anything negative lacing the Professor’s voice. In fact, she sounded rather pleased, but with the steadily flowing Galleons, Hermione could imagine why.</p><p>“Everything is fine, Professor,” Hermione smiled.</p><p>“Good!” the Scot said before whirling off again.</p><p>“Lovely,” Severus commented dryly. </p><p>“Oh shut it, wizard,” Hermione hushed without looking at him which was why she didn’t see him smiling at her gentle rebuke.</p><p>Going over to the bar, Hermione ordered two cocktails and handed Severus one of them. Before taking a tentative sip, he sniffed the liquid and swirled it around in the glass.</p><p>“Feeling the need for a little pick-me-up?” he teased with his left eyebrow arched as his nose caught more than a little whiff of alcohol.</p><p>As they stood, watching the mass of people dancing or attempting to do so, Hermione took a big swig of her drink before answering.</p><p>“It’s a Saturday night,” she shrugged while she met Severus’ black eyes. “Bottoms up!”</p><p>Gulping down her entire drink, she ordered a second one which she also polished off within seconds. She was halfway down her third one, when Severus plucked the glass from her fingers.</p><p>“Enough,” he said. “If you don’t slow down you’ll end up in a stupor.”</p><p>“And if that’s what I want?” Hermione rolled her eyes as she tried unsuccessfully to get her glass back. Severus just held in out of reach by extending his long arm.</p><p>“You’re not the drowning your sorrow type of witch,” Severus replied calmly, but Hermione who was starting to feel the effects of two downed drinks shook her head.</p><p>“You don’t know what type of witch I am,” she said while going for a second attempt at getting her drink back.</p><p>Severus wasn’t amused and Vanished the goblet without even touching his wand. “Maybe not, but this doesn’t suit you. You’re too clever for this.”</p><p>“You think I’m smart??” Hermione’s eyes went wide.</p><p>She didn’t notice him rolling his eyes at her; she was too busy watching Harry, Ginny, Ron and Veronique jumping around on the groovy music provided by the band that had replaced the orchestra at some point. Exactly how late was it again?</p><p>Forgetting all about her robbed drink and her concerns about the time, she grabbed Severus by the hand and pulled him into the dancing mass. “Come dance with me!”</p><p>“Unhand me!” came the Severus’ growled protest, though he didn’t attempt to actually stop the girl from dragging him along.</p><p>Hermione paid his objections no attention.</p><p>“Don’t be such a killjoy,” she told him without giving him any chance to get away from her clutches. “Be a good wizard and dance with me.”</p><p>Pushing her way through the masses, Hermione marched all the way over to her friends. Harry, who noticed her first, grinned broadly at her and urged everyone to make room.<br/>
Immediately Hermione started to swing her hips on the beat, losing herself completely to the music and the company of her friends. </p><p>Severus continued to grumble some more under his breath while rolling his eyes at his companion, but started moving nonetheless after deciding playing along was better than standing still on the middle of a dance floor surrounded by hopping and popping witches and wizards. At least in that way, he could blend in with the rest of the pissed dunderheads. </p><p>Doing his version of the “awkward and rigid stepping from left to right while slightly bobbing your head” dance, he took his time to take in his surroundings. Swiftly glancing at the mass of people around the little group he found himself in, he decided his situation could be much worse. </p><p>These young people letting loose was one thing, but they weren’t the only ones letting themselves go wild. Naturally, all students of age were absolutely wasted, as were a lot of underaged students. They hopped and swinged about, not one concern on their mind. At least for the moment, they were carefree, and Severus suppressed the sinful envy filling his mind.</p><p>He himself had never attended even one of the Christmas balls, preferring to stay as far away as possible from the whole ordeal every year. Oh yes, he would’ve liked to go and enjoy himself like those kids were, but not fancying the idea of giving the Marauders an extra opportunity to humiliate him, he’d chosen to stay away each year. Seven years of Hogwarts, safe for a few months, and he had never been to one of the galas, let alone with a witch on his arm.<br/>
The handful of balls Lucius had forced him to attend, he had visited alone. And even then, he kept himself in the background, and not in the middle of a dancing crowd.</p><p>Turning his head, Severus looked at the older attendees. Merlin, he hoped he wouldn’t end up like them. More than a few couples in their forties, fifties, sixties even, were behaving like idiots. In fact, it seemed the older they got, the weirder they acted.</p><p>He shook his head and chose to divert his attention to the people near him. </p><p>He let his eyes glide from Ronald and the girl with the long plait down her back to the girl with silvery white hair and a dreamy look in her eyes. They were involved in some kind of threesome dance which made Severus nauseous by even looking at it. Refusing to let his gaze linger on the familiar-looking, bespectacled guy with the messy black hair and the ginger girl in his arms, he watched an Indian girl was dancing with a tall, bit awkward looking bloke with buckteeth. Contrary to their friends, they actually seemed to know what they were doing. </p><p>Though, as amusing some of Hermione’s friends' movements were, he found himself having a hard time focusing on anything but the witch herself. </p><p>She laughed brightly when the dreamy girl fell over in the middle of some strange dance move, but offered her hand to help her up all the same. As she bent over to pluck the girl from the floor, Severus had to swallow the lump in his throat that hadn’t been there before.</p><p>Of course Severus had already noticed Hermione was a pretty witch. In fact, it didn’t take him much longer than the first few seconds he’d laid eyes on her all those days ago.<br/>
But when she’d walked into the bedroom only a few hours ago, he had to fight his jaw from hitting the floor. Luckily for him, the girl had been too busy staring at him to catch him ogling her in return.</p><p>The normally already pleasant-looking witch was clad in a long sparkly midnight blue dress which reached her ankles, the fabric looking soft enough to make him want to reach out and touch it. Her sleeves were tight-fitted around her upper arms, but widened and flowed freely around her lower arms and wrists. The front was decorated with a lot of buttons in the same colour as the dress itself and the neckline was low enough to leave the girl’s collarbones exposed but without showing any cleavage. It was tasteful, yet gorgeous. As was the witch wearing it.</p><p>The mass of curls on her head had been tamed into long wavy locks cascading down her back, but due to her earlier crying and burying herself into his chest, her hair looked like it had multiplied itself. Not that it mattered; Hermione didn’t appear to mind it and Severus still thought she looked beautiful.</p><p>“Tu as raison,” a voice pulled him from his musings. “ Elle est stupéfiante.”</p><p>Going completely still, he looked up and saw the red-headed girl watching him from over her boyfriend’s shoulder as the couple continued to dance. Willing his cheeks to not show any signs of blushing because he’d been caught staring, Severus nodded at the girl.</p><p>“Effectivement.”</p><p>“Tu l’aimes.” It wasn’t a question.</p><p>Severus kept silent. </p><p>“Hey Hermione!” the girl raised her voice. “Why don’t you dance with your wizard for a second?”</p><p>Hermione, who had been in the midst of a rather enthusiastic twirl, almost tipped over when Ginny’s voice reached her ears.<br/>
Extending one long arm, Severus caught her just in time.</p><p>“Hm, thank you,” Hermione mumbled into his chest.</p><p>Taking her by the shoulders, Severus firmly but gently pushed her away before letting go again.</p><p>“Incapable of behaving yourself, are we?,” he asked loud enough for Hermione to hear over the music but not so loud other people could overhear. That whole ‘don’t talk’-thing was going splendid. “What exactly was in those three drinks?”</p><p>“You mean like this one?” Hermione asked, snatching the goblet Neville was nursing, ignoring the boy’s protest. “I don’t know, but they are yummy!”</p><p>Severus’ glare went unnoticed. Instead, Hermione tossed back the bright blue liquid and smiled up at him, handing him the now empty glass. </p><p>“We are done here,” Severus hissed as he Vanished the goblet.</p><p>“But I’m having a great time!” Hermione whined. “Look!”</p><p>She took a few steps back, plucking Ginny from Harry’s arms and twirled her friend around, making the equally inebriated girl laugh. </p><p>“See?”</p><p>Letting Ginny go, she reached out and held out her hand.</p><p>“Just one dance.” </p><p>Cursing himself inwardly at his sudden lack of a spine, Severus allowed Hermione to take his hands in hers and pull him towards her. But how could he not? <em>Je l’aime, indeed.</em></p><p>For a moment he forgot where, what and who he was and just relished the fact he was dancing with this striking witch, something he’d thought just wasn’t in the cards for him.</p><p>He let Hermione take the lead and followed her steps, watching her face intently. For the most part, she had her eyes closed and just swayed them to the music, but when the song ended and a new one started, she opened her eyes. At the sight of her warm brown orbs, Severus had to close his own eyes for a moment, berating himself for his foolishness. The song was a slow lovesong. Of course it was a bloody slow lovesong. What else could it be with his luck?</p><p>At that point his insecurities made room for the guilt he felt at dancing with a highly intoxicated Hermione. He felt like he was taking advantage of her because, honestly, if she’d been sober, there was no way in Hell she would take him slow dancing. Of course they <em>had</em> danced together already, but that had been under different circumstances, they’d been forced to, and besides, at the time, Hermione had clearly voiced her objections against that.</p><p>But how could he say no to the dazzling witch who’d made her way into his arms as soon as the song had changed?</p><p>It wouldn’t do for him to let himself be distracted by the Potions apprentice like this.<br/>
First off, there was absolutely no chance it would end well, with him being from the past, and second, it felt like he was betraying Lily, even though he had no obligations to her whatsoever.<br/>
Admittedly, since his time here, he hadn’t even thought that much about the beautiful red-headed Gryffindor back in ‘78. If it weren’t for the look-a-like dancing only two feet away from him, somehow he doubted she would’ve crossed her mind at all while he had Hermione in his arms. That notion did nothing to soothe his worries, though. If anything it made him feel even more conflicted. What did it mean he’d forgotten about Lily so easily? Why did he let himself become so attached to someone so unattainable yet again? </p><p>
  <em>Tom warned you about this. Do not let this happen again. You will get hurt.</em>
</p><p>Shaking his head, he forced himself to come back to reality where Hermione was still hanging around his neck with her left arm while her right hand was placed over his heart. Suddenly painfully aware of that hand on his chest and this witch pressed against him, Severus tried to clear his mind with all his might. He was only human after all, and even though he prided himself on his control, he was still a hormonal teenager. </p><p>Before he could embarrass himself, he quickly unwrapped Hermione’s arms from his neck, pushing and holding her at a more appropriate distance.</p><p>“No!” Hermione protested. “What are you doing? It was so nice!”</p><p>“<em>Enough</em>.” Severus hoped his hard glare delivered his message loud and clear.</p><p>Seeing Hermione got it, if the way she seemed to deflate was any indication, Severus tried to keep the disappointed look on her face out of his mind and turned away. He had to get somewhere quiet and preferable somewhere with fresh air.</p><p>o0o</p><p>Despite her efforts to keep him from stalking off, Severus was gone in an instant, blending in with the crowd, but before she could go after him, Harry took her hand and wordlessly pulled her to the side.</p><p>“Explain,” was all he said.</p><p>Hermione frowned. “Harry, I’m way too drunk to know what you’re on about, so if you want something from me I suggest you be specific.”</p><p>“For Merlin’s sake,” Harry muttered, handing her a flask. “Drink.”</p><p>“Wazzdiz?” All Hermione’s proficiency at talking had been used up by her one other comment, making her slur her words now.</p><p>“Sober-up Potion. Drink it.”</p><p>Suspiciously eyeing the messy-haired boy, Hermione swirled the green liquid in the little phial before she relented and threw back the potion. She felt it taking effect immediately and she blinked a few times at the suddenly much brighter lights.</p><p>“Better?” Hermione noted Harry’s impatient tone.</p><p>She nodded. “Now, what is this all about?”</p><p>“How did you two meet?” Harry asked.</p><p>“Meet who?” she asked in return, genuinely confused.</p><p>“Oh come one, Hermione,” the wizard rolled his eyes. “I’m not stupid, nor are you. Where did you meet that bloke?”</p><p>
  <em>Oh bugger. Not good. Not good at all.</em>
</p><p>“He’s a Potions apprentice, like me,” she answered, pretending not to notice Harry narrowing his eyes at her.</p><p>“That’s not what I mean and you know it!” Harry said rather heatedly.</p><p>“Believe what you want, but I really do not know what you mean, Harry,” Hermione bit back, furiously wishing her cheeks stayed void of any redness. “But if this is about Ron, there’s nothing to say.”</p><p>Her friend glared at her. “Don’t play coy with me, Hermione. You know I don’t get involved with Ron and you. If something happened between you, and judging from your reaction, I’m going to assume it did, it’s none of my business. But you know bloody well what I’m talking about! I’m not blind, nor deaf.”</p><p>Beginning to panic, Hermione searched for any words to defend herself, but how the hell was she going to explain her date was none other than Severus Snape?</p><p>“What do you want me to say, Harry,” she settled on, throwing her hands up in an apologetic manner.</p><p>The boy’s glare hardened. “How about you tell me how long you’ve known Snape had a son and why the hell he’s here, as your date no less?!”</p><p>“Snape had a <em>what</em>?!” The words escaped her before she could help herself, being more busy with hiding the relief that flooded her. Harry’d always had a knack for jumping to the wrong conclusions.</p><p>“Come off it, Hermione,” Harry scoffed. “To be honest, I’m surprised no one else figured it out. It’s like looking at a Snape-clone. Then again, I can see why no one even wants to think about the greasy git shagging anyone.”</p><p>Pushing back the urge to defend Severus, Hermione bit the inside of her cheek. </p><p>“Did you really think no one would notice?” Harry continued. “I took one look at him and I knew. He even has the same look of scorn in his eyes when he looks at me. I guess his father’s left him with at least something.” </p><p>“Whose father left who with what?” </p><p>Both Harry and Hermione abruptly turned their heads to see Ginny staggering in their direction.</p><p>“What are we talking about?” she smiled, dazed, putting her arms around Harry to lean all of her weight on him. She was drunk off her arse.</p><p>“I don’t suppose you’ve got any more Sober-up?” Hermione crisply asked Harry, who shook his head.</p><p>“Take her home, Harry,” Hermione advised.</p><p>“NO!” Ginny complained. “I want to know what we’re talking about.”</p><p>“Nothing,” said Hermione.</p><p>“Hermione’s date,” said Harry.</p><p>“Ooooh, the quiet one?” A mischievous glint appeared in the redhead’s eyes. “He’s hot! Would totally shag him. But of course I have my own wizard, don’t worry, Harry.” She tightened her grip on Harry’s neck and pulled him down to pepper his cheek with kisses. “Not that I would have a chance. Do you know he fancies you, Hermione? It’s quite obvious.”</p><p>“Oi, Gin!” Harry strained his neck to keep his face away from her before turning back to Hermione.</p><p>“This conversation is not over,” he hissed before stomping away, pulling a loudly complaining Ginny with him, leaving a completely dumbfounded Hermione behind.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"You're right. - She is stunning."</p><p>"Indeed."</p><p>"You like her."</p><p>o0o</p><p>Okay I lied. Well, at the time I didn't.<br/>I said I cut the previous chapter in half, the second half being this one. Well, the story went a wee different than I anticipated, so we're still not done.</p><p>Anywone wondering where Severus is off to? I know I am.</p><p>Also, after this bit with the ball and all is done, I swear we'll move along to actually sending Severus back. I just don't know how and when that's going to happen exactly, yet.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter fourteen - Severus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hermione feels conflicted.</p><p>Severus does too.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I felt like I hadn't explored Severus' side of the whole "being in the future"-affair enough, so this chapter adresses his thoughts about that.</p><p>I'm not even going to apologise about chapters not containing what I said they would. It just so happens my fingers have typed these words and instead of others so we just have to deal with it, I guess.</p><p>So no more promises on what's going to come next, 'cause it's as much a surprise for you as for me.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter fourteen - Severus</h1><p>
  <em>Shit shit shit! Where the hell is Severus??</em>
</p><p>After Harry’s departure, it had taken Hermione a few seconds to gather enough of her wits to be able to move again. The words of the Boy Who Lived kept swirling around in her head, as did the words of his girlfriend, but now was not the time to think about them. Later that night, when she’d finally be back in the safety of her own quarters, she would give herself her inevitable moment of sheer panic, but for now she pushed all that aside to panic about something else.</p><p>Severus.</p><p>She had promised him not to leave him alone during this stupid ball, but had done so nevertheless. She had sobbed into his arms after she’d abruptly broken off things with Ron, who had taken it so well, she might’ve felt offended had she not been so agitated about other matters, also known as Severus. Then she’d gotten herself drunk, after which she’d forced him to join her on the dancefloor, while he obviously dreaded the whole affair, and to make things even worse, she’d thrown herself in the wizard’s arms yet again, resulting in him storming off. </p><p>So no, Hermione didn’t need to take Harry and Ginny’s words into account to have a full-blown panic attack right then and there; the combination of the events prior to that little confrontation were more than enough to take care of that. </p><p>And those events brought her back to the matter at hand.</p><p>Severus.</p><p>Knowing him, and Hermione like to think she did know him after all that time spent together, he would’ve headed for that Silver Birch by the Lake, but Hermione knew the Aurors had sealed off the entire Castle for the duration of the Ball in fear of an attack. Only some people had clearance to come and go as they pleased and a young Severus Snape, posing as some potions apprentice, was certainly not one of those people. </p><p>The fact he couldn’t have left the Castle, did narrow down her options, but with a castle as Hogwarts, there was still no telling where he’d be. </p><p>Only, there was.</p><p>Cursing herself for her continued stupidity on all kinds of fronts, Hermione shook her head and started off in the direction of the large doors leading to the Entrance Hall. Given the drunken state of the other guest, she didn’t worry much if somebody would notice and question her hurried exit, so she bolted through the doors and made her way to her quarters as quick as her high heels let her.</p><p>Inside her quarters, she noted they were void of a certain raven-haired, acerbic young wizard, so she made a beeline for her bedroom, where she immediately fell to her knees in front of her bed. Reaching underneath, she blindly felt around until her hand made contact with cold leather. Still on her knees, she shuffled a bit backwards, pulling her old trunk from under the bed. </p><p>Despite Harry’s accusations, Hermione silently thanked the wizard for forcing her to drink a Sober-up potion, for she wouldn’t have thought about this without it. Unfolding the stiff parchment, Hermione drew her wand and pointed.</p><p>
  <em>“I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good.”</em>
</p><p>As the Marauders’ Map revealed itself to her, Hermione granted herself a small smile.<br/>
When Harry had insisted she take the Map with her at the start of the school year, she’d tried to refuse, saying she couldn’t possibly take something so dear to him. But Harry had been adamant and that was why she’d ended up with the Map, chucking it in her trunk without looking at it twice. In reality, Hermione’d always thought the Map was terribly offensive in the way it held no regards for one’s privacy, but now she couldn’t be happier to have it in her possession.</p><p>Not only did she feel sick to her stomach when just imagining what would’ve happened if Harry had looked at it and had seen Severus’ name on it, but in this instance the Map proved to come in handy, privacy or not. </p><p>At her initial glance at the dungeons, the lab on the third floor and the Silver Birch, just in case, she came up empty, but Hermione was anything but a quitter, so she searched and searched, but still, somehow Severus’ name seemed to be absent. Frowning, she went over it again when it hit her. </p><p>“He’s in the Room of Requirement,” she said to herself, already getting to her feet, wincing when she felt the pins and needles from kneeling too long.</p><p>Refusing to let something as trivial as a dead leg hold her back, the young witch picked up her wand and the map, and darted out of her rooms. With the help of the Marauders, she took a few shortcuts and found herself on the seventh floor in record time.<br/>
She looked up to one of the massive stone walls before closing her eyes, concentrating as she began pacing in front of the wall.</p><p>
  <em>I need to find Severus Snape.</em>
</p><p>She walked back and forth.</p><p>
  <em>I need to find Severus Snape.</em>
</p><p>She did another lap.</p><p>
  <em>I need to find Severus Snape.</em>
</p><p>In the end, her plea to the Castle wasn’t even a full sentence anymore, and when a door finally appeared, she was down to just “Severus”.</p><p>Not knowing what to expect, Hermione placed her hand on the doorknob, hesitating for a second.</p><p>What if he didn’t want to see her? Would he be angry with her? Would he yell at her, or worse ignore her altogether? </p><p>She’d finally come to terms with him being him, instead of someone from his own future, and she’d come to rather like who he was. She liked this sensitive, rather awkward boy, who so desperately tried to ignore that side of him himself, masking it with all his snark. She liked his wit, his obvious brilliance, but also his intellect, his thirst for knowledge. Hermione could not name one other seventeen year old boy who liked to read Ovid in his spare time, but this one did. </p><p>But maybe all of that wouldn’t even matter.</p><p>Maybe she’d scared him off with her drunken antics, not to mention her sobbing into his chest. She’d felt him stiffen up under her touch when she’d collapsed into his arms, clearly ill-eased with the contact. Maybe she’d pushed him too far and now he would go back to his distant treatment.</p><p>Then again, even though he hadn’t particularly liked her clinging to him, he hadn’t exactly moved away from her. And what did that say about their connection, their bond? Did it mean something that though he’d unmistakable gone rigid, he still let her cry into his embrace? Did in mean something that even though he had voiced his abhorrence of dancing, he still endured it not once, but twice?</p><p>In the end, Hermione had to shake her head to dispel all her doubts and worries, lest she’d never open that door and someone’d come across her staring at that bloody door like some lunatic.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, she turned the knob and entered.</p><p>o0o</p><p>After his hasty exit, Severus had wanted to get some fresh air.</p><p>The feel of Hermione’s soft body pressed against his was something he couldn’t possibly withstand without his own body reacting to it. So even though he would’ve liked to hold her in his arms for hours to come, he’d taken off before he could make a fool of himself. </p><p>In all honesty, SEverus had thought he would’ve done precisely that, but earlier on, during the opening dance. Not that his dancing skills were inadequate, no in fact he knew he was a good dancer, but with Hermione in his arms, he’d thought a certain part of his body would’ve made itself known to his dance partner.<br/>
If it wasn’t for the pressure Severus felt he’d been under, with all those eyes staring at him, he was sure that dance would’ve been disastrous. As it happened, his body had behaved itself and he’d made it through the dance unscathed.</p><p>Of course that encounter hadn’t been the only potential catastrophe of the evening.</p><p>No, of course he had felt himself being pressured into talking, despite his promise not to, and not just talking, but voicing his opinion about Hermione. Luckily, judging by the ginger girl’s reaction, he had said the right things without giving away his true identity.<br/>
A fleeting thought thanked Lucius for dragging him to all those Malfoy family gatherings where he’d picked up more than a little French.</p><p>Then there was that run-in with the boon called Ronald and Severus didn’t even want to begin thinking about him, feeling sorry that Hermione had ended things with the bloke.<br/>
Although, Severus wasn’t sure if he was feeling sorry or feeling guilty, the latter suggesting something his ego just wasn’t quite large enough for. In addition, Severus didn’t like to assume things, especially not if it involved him, so he just stuck with feeling sorry.</p><p>All and all, Severus had reached the end of his broom with all the socializing and “dancing” he’d done that evening and he needed some time alone, outside.</p><p>His plans were ruined because of the human wall of Aurors and teachers at the entrance of the castle, keeping everyone in and anyone out. Since there was no reason in trying to get them to turn a blind eye so he could go outside, Severus turned on his heels and went to the one other place of sanctuary he knew. How it was that the person who had shown him that spot, was the exact person he was running from.</p><p>With his usual long strides, he made his way all the way to the seventh floor, where he began pacing up and down the corridor before slipping into the Room of Requirement.</p><p>
  <em>Perfect.</em>
</p><p>If Severus had known about this place before, his time life would’ve been so much easier. There was a chance the Marauders knew about it as well, but somehow Severus felt it wouldn’t even matter if they did. It was like the room was calling out to him, to ask him what he wanted the room to be, like it would alter itself to his every whim and would shut out everyone if asked. It was a whole new experience for him, feeling the Castle’s presence in his mind like that. </p><p>Again, if Severus had known about this before, running and hiding from Potter and Black would’ve been so much easier. Well, at least the last few months at Hogwarts would be better, Severus thought.</p><p>Now, he found himself looking at the exact same room Hermione had taken him to a few days ago, Chesterfields and piano and all.</p><p>A weary smile playing at the corner of his lips, Severus walked over to the piano and sat down. Like before, he caressed the ivory, sliding his fingertips over the smooth keys before settling them into position. They felt almost soft under his gentle touch, the difference from those battered, dusty old piano back at that little library in town was immense.</p><p>His fingers placed on the right keys, Severus cleared his mind and began to play.</p><p>It was only after the first few bars, he recognised what he was playing, his fingers finding the right keys on their own accord. He figured it made sense his mind had chosen this piece.<br/>
Though it had a different time signature from the standard three-four time waltz, it followed a very similar structure. And with his waltz with Hermione still in the back of his mind, it was only fitting, his hands would play this song. </p><p>It wasn’t a particularly lengthy piece, but beautiful all the same.</p><p>When it was done, Severus just sat in silence for a while, his hands in his lap. Playing the piano had always helped him temporarily escape from reality, but this instance it didn’t do the same. If anything it made him feel even worse, his self-doubt and self-loathing increasing with every note he played.</p><p>Part of him wanted Hermione to be there with him. He wanted to play for her like he’d done before. He wanted her to look at him with admiration like she’d done before.<br/>
Another part of him wanted her as far away from his as possible.</p><p>And it was that part of himself, he hated. </p><p>He hated that he felt the need to repel her from his life, from his heart and mind. He hated she was there in the first place, making him feel vulnerable. And he hated feeling all that hatred without any outlet. </p><p>His whole life had existed of anger, frustration and hatred. </p><p>First it was something he’d witnessed from others, then he’d experienced those emotions himself. Not that his father’s anger had waned one bit in the meantime. Quite the opposite because Severus’ own hatred had made his father’s worse.</p><p>His mother always said anger did only one thing: destroy all the positive things on its path.</p><p>“Just look at your father, Severus,” she’d said. “He is not a bad man, but his anger controls him, takes away all that is good in him, all that is good in this house.” </p><p>Severus remembered shaking his head. He’d thought it was all a lot of crap and if his father was truly good, he wouldn’t take his anger out on his wife and son. The man was evil.</p><p>“Don’t let anger control you, Severus,” his mother had said. “Don’t be angry because of your father. Don’t let his anger control you too.”</p><p>It was one of the few life lessons his mother had taught him. And though he had not entirely lived up to it, he felt he could’ve ended up worse.</p><p>All those times the Marauders had sought him out, had assaulted him, humiliated him, Severus had run. The instances he’d fought back, he did just that, he defended himself, countered the spells he could, but never did he start a fight. Never was he the one to seek confrontation, no matter how bad he wanted to retaliate.</p><p>And it was that life lesson that had Severus feeling like he was going crazy now.</p><p>‘Cause for all of his mother’s placating and mediating, Severus felt like sometimes anger was his only option. </p><p>If he didn’t get enraged, the Marauders would’ve blasted him from the face of the earth. It was for his anger, he got the strength to fight back. It was because of his rage he could hold himself in those unfair fights with four against one.</p><p>Tom and Lucius had praised him for it.</p><p>“Use your anger, your hatred,” they’d say. “Let it fill you up and use it! You’ll feel better.”</p><p>And they were right.</p><p>It felt good to finally let go of all that excess energy and turn it into something useful. His spells got more powerful and his reflexes quicker. Adrenaline overflowed but it just felt so good to finally give in to the temptations. To not feel weak.</p><p>Tom and Lucius had managed to finally give Severus just that bit of much needed confidence. They’d given him a place of strength within himself. And because of that he trusted their judgement and let their judgement lead him.</p><p>To hell with his mother and her “wisdom”. </p><p>Anger and hatred had been part of his life for so long and instead of ignoring it, putting it to use he felt like he finally had an outlet for all that pent-up emotions.</p><p>But now, without the Marauders to taunt him, and with Hermione to soothe him, he felt confused.</p><p>On one hand, Tom and Lucius made him feel better about himself, and on the other hand, Hermione did too, in a completely different way. A way that wasn’t as tiring by miles.</p><p>Whereas anger was exhausting to say the least, Hermione’s friendship gave him more energy. </p><p>To say he felt conflicted was perhaps the biggest understatement of the century.</p><p>Severus knew he was more than just attracted to the witch. He liked her and wanted her to like him in return. He might’ve still liked Lily, but that hadn’t held him back before when Lucius had set him up with those ladies.</p><p>Yes, it had felt like some kind of betrayal, but Lily wasn’t his, and Severus was still very much a boy with needs, though he had refused to talk about those needs with Hermione during their little game of Never Have I Ever.</p><p>Then again, it could only take so long before McGonagall would find a way to send him back to ‘78 and being the Slytherin he was, Severus recognised an opportunity when it presented itself. If something did happen, great. If things went south, no big deal, he would be gone in a matter of time.</p><p>Could he really start something with those intentions, though? </p><p>Tom and Lucius would probably say yes to that. They’d tell him to take what he wanted and that he would feel better afterwards.</p><p>His mother would shake her head, and if she still had the use of her arm, she’d whack him over the head for his stupidity.</p><p>Feeling even worse than before, Severs sighed.</p><p>Why was his life so bloody complicated. He was only seventeen, wasn’t that supposed to be a fun age? Still young and youthful, but legally an adult who could do whatever the hell they pleased? </p><p>That being said, why the hell did he let McGonagall dictate his actions? She wasn’t Headmistress, not his anyway. Couldn’t he just walk away from Hogwarts, the safety of wizarding Britain be damned? He could go abroad, far away from everything that could enfold. He could live far away from his father, Potter and Black, far away from everything that reminded him how miserable his life was.</p><p>
  <em>Stop it. You’re not like that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Am I not? I am a Slytherin after all. We’re known for our self-preservation.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This isn’t self-preservation. This is selfish.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But I will die in the war that’s to come. I can save myself by running away now. That’s self-preservation.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s selfish and self-centered and you’re neither of those things. It’s not saving yourself if you’re running away from life like it’s supposed to happen.</em>
</p><p>Though he was deep in thought, debating with himself, the sound behind him didn’t escape him. </p><p>He knew of only one person who would come looking for him here.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Severus plays Chopin's Nocturne Op. 9, No. 2 in E-flat major.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter fifteen - It's in her eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Severus and Hermione have a little heart-to-heart. Kind of...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We're finally getting somewhere! Just stick with me please :)</p><p>I also want to apologise for any errors, typos, bad grammar or anything like that. I haven't done that before, but I think it goes without saying my writings are not beta'd and all mistakes are entirely my fault. </p><p>Why I apologise now? </p><p>I wrote this chapter at 3.30 am, so the risk of any errors is a bit higher than with others.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter fifteen - It's in her eyes</h1><p>Surprisingly, she didn’t start talking the second she entered the room. Instead she walked over to the Chesterfield she’d sat in before and sat down.</p><p>Severus knew she was nervous; he could hear her fidgeting and shifting on the sofa, the material of her dress rubbing against the old leather. If she was trying to drill a hole in his back with her eyes, she was doing a good job; Severus had to keep from squirming himself under her scrutiny. </p><p>He closed his eyes for a second, willing his breath and pulse to remain calm. It wouldn’t do for him to let Hermione sense his discomfort.</p><p>They continued to sit in silence, none of them wanting to be the first to break it.</p><p>Severus felt if he were to open his mouth now, he wouldn't be able to control whatever would come out, so he kept his lips tightly pressed together.</p><p>Hermione wanted to say a thousand things, but didn’t know where to start. </p><p>Though he would never voice it, she could tell Severus was more than a little uncomfortable.<br/>
His back was awfully straight and rigid, his breathing deep and even, too even. He was controlling it, trying to keep it from quivering or speeding up.<br/>
It almost made Hermione smile. If she’d been any other person, he would’ve fooled her, but she wasn’t someone else. She was Hermione and Hermione was the one who’d come to know him over the last weeks, the one who’d seen through his layers and had seen the real boy underneath.</p><p>“Severus.” Her tone was soft and warm. </p><p>He didn’t react.</p><p>“Are you alright?”</p><p>That did it and his eyes shot open.</p><p>From all the things he’d imagined her saying, it hadn’t been this. He’d thought she would come yelling or screaming at him, or worse, crying and blabbering apologies. Instead, she asked him if he was alright. Her first reaction was to check if <em>he</em>, was alright, no selfishly demanding answers or actions, no explanations or excuses for her own behaviour. Just one simple question.</p><p>And yet, Severus didn’t know how to answer it.</p><p>He was most certainly not alright, and he suspected Hermione knew, but what would happen if he said just that. This wasn’t something that could be helped, not by her or by anyone. He and he alone had to deal with his own existential crisis. Sharing his pain would only result in the Gryffindor girl worrying about him even though it wasn’t her fault nor could she solve his problems. No, Severus wouldn’t do that to her. He wouldn’t cause any more pain than he already had.</p><p>He heard her sigh at his continued silence.</p><p>Then there was some rustling, followed by tentative footsteps in his direction till Hermione stood right behind him. He could feel her presence and he had to close his eyes again, the blackness grounding him.</p><p>While desperate to turn around and reach out, pull her into his arms and bury his face in her curls, he controlled his breath and stayed where he was. Despite his wish, he would restrain himself and stay put.<br/>
After further contemplation, he had decided he wasn’t the sort of wizard to seduce someone, not in the least because of his looks. Besides, he didn’t even know if his avances would still be welcomed by Hermione since he’d run out on her earlier.</p><p> </p><p>If possible, Hermione was sure Severus would’ve stiffened up even more when she approached him. He just sat there on that piano bench, wordless and motionless. It was in fact the only thing giving away he knew she was there. If he hadn’t known it was her, he would’ve spun around the second she’d come in. In contrast to virtually anyone else, Severus trusted Hermione enough to have his back turned to her. </p><p>She wanted to reach out and place her hand on his shoulder, comfort him with her touch where her words would probably fail her. She didn’t though. She’d forced herself enough on him already.</p><p>Instead, she stayed where she was, about three feet away from him, gathering her courage to speak again while looking at the back of his head where a few strands poked out from the bun which had been a perfect little black globe before.<br/>
She hadn’t actually had a plan or thought about what she was going to say to him, when she’d come looking for him. Now that she was here with him three feet away, she kind of drew a blank.</p><p>Well, it was the complete opposite of drawing a blank, actually. </p><p>Hermione was already notorious for her rambling sessions but now all her thoughts were all jumbled, coursing through her head. It was like being pulled in a hundred different directions at once. She wanted to make sure he was alright, though she knew he wasn’t. She wanted to say she was sorry for letting her emotions get the best of her, for letting him down. She wanted to cry in his arms about her break-up with Ron, even though they hadn’t even been that serious. She wanted to stay put in those wiry arms and bury her face into his chest. She wanted to dance with him for real and not because it was mandatory or because she was drunk off her tits. She wanted him to want to do all that with her. And she wanted so much more.</p><p>Yet all that came out was, </p><p>“Your hair is messy.”</p><p>She gasped when she heard her own voice saying those four words which weren’t remotely close to all the things she did want to tell him. She could almost feel Severus’ left eyebrow inching its way up his forehead.</p><p>“And that rat’s nest on your head you call hair is such a sight,” he drawled without turning, but finally responding, which Hermione considered a win.</p><p>“It has seen better times, yes,” she admitted, trying for an airy tone, but not succeeding quite that well. “It doesn’t matter, though. I’m not going back to the ball.”</p><p>“Then I suggest you find some other place to spend your time,” Severus said. “‘cause it’s not going to be here.”</p><p>Hermione sighed, which of course he picked up on.</p><p>“Yes, I can see you’re already fed up with being here. Leaving will help that.Go run off and get yourself drunk. You seem to know how to do that quite well.”</p><p>She could see why he was being a little hostile, but she had really hoped their bond was strong enough to keep it civil. Apparently that wasn’t going to happen, but she refused to let him be the only one to play it that way.</p><p>“I’m staying right here, thank you very much,” she told him defiantly. “If anything, you’re the one that’s not supposed to be here. I, however, can be wherever I want to be, seeing as I’m an official Hogwarts’ apprentice and you’re just lost in your own future, stuck, without a way to get back.”</p><p>That hit a nerve and Severus was on his feet and right in front of her in a matter of seconds. </p><p>He stood just inches from the girl, sneering down his nose at her. Though she had flinched just slightly when he’d turned around and closed the distance between them, he could see no fear in her eyes as she steadily held his gaze. They just shone bright as always, though their brightness was now laced with defiance and stubbornness. </p><p>“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he hissed. “You make it sound like I am the pathetic one, yet you were the one crying your eyes out over some break-up that wasn’t even a break-up and then helping yourself in the direction of alcohol-poisoning because of that.”</p><p>He took a perverse pleasure at Hermione’s shocked features when his remarks hit home, but he should’ve known the Gryffindor girl wouldn’t let him have that one without retaliating. After the initial shock, her eyes narrowed on him, and he could almost feel her magic cackling around them.</p><p>“Yes, I cried.” Hermione lifted her chin. “And I own that. It’s called having emotions. You should try it sometime, instead of running off like some child and hiding in here, the place I introduced you to, need I remind you.”</p><p>Now that was unfair of her, for Hermione knew Severus was in fact full of emotions, but he had struck below the belt and so could she. If he was going to comment on her break-down because of her break-up now, while he hadn’t mentioned it before like some superior gentleman, he could go screw himself.</p><p>She probably should’ve felt scared when she saw his face turn thunderous. Yet she didn’t. Even though he was clearly trying to kill with his glare, she still didn’t feel scared of him. Had this confrontation happened a day before, she might have, but not now, not after tonight, not after her realisations earlier that night. </p><p>o0o</p><p>Severus noticed something change in Hermione’s eyes as he scowled at her, though he didn’t recognise what exactly, which bugged him. Her comment had been a low blow, and though she hadn’t even used the word, he still knew she had called him a coward. It caused him to see nothing but red. People could call him a git, a bastard, an arse, and while it still stung, he could deal with that after hearing it time and time again -Hell, they were right most of the time-, but between all those names he got called, Severus knew he was no coward.</p><p>“Oh I forgot,” he said sarcastically. “All Gryffindors think they are superior because they have feelings, while all you do with them is letting them get the best of you.”</p><p>Hermione put her hands on her hips, her gaze still not faltering. “It’s still better than having no feelings at all! Let me suggest something for you: try to feel some empathy for a change!”</p><p>“Like you’ve displayed tonight?” Severus scoffed. “Are you sure you’re Miss Empathy?” </p><p>Hermione opened her mouth to react, but he held up a hand, effectively shutting her up.</p><p>“Did you not “break-up” with your “boyfriend” tonight?” he asked sardonically. “I’ll take a guess and say you haven’t even talked to the poor bloke for days before tonight, not even to tell him you were ditching him for me. You probably let McGonagall have that talk, did you? You broke up with him out of the blue, not caring about his wishes, only doing what you thought was what you needed. Did you warm him up to the idea? Did you give him any indication this was coming?</p><p>“I bet you didn’t even know you were going to break up with him, did you?. You probably don’t even know why you did it, you just felt like you needed to. How’s that any better than my running off. At least I’m not hurting anyone in the process!”</p><p>A wicked grin appeared on his face when he saw Hermione struggling for words, but his joy didn’t last very long, for the witch had had enough.</p><p>“You bastard!” she shrieked, turning away from him and putting some distance between them. “How can you ask me all that when you bloody well know why I did it?! I know for a fact you don’t really take pleasure at someone else’s pain, so why do you insist at inflicting it?”</p><p>From across the room, she turned to look at him again, staring him accusingly in the eye, her arms folded under the swell of her breasts.</p><p>Now it was Severus’ turn to be at a loss for words.</p><p>He knew he had to tread carefully, lest he would uncover things they both weren’t ready for, but at the look of things they were awfully close. He did not need for her to learn of his attraction for he was most certain she’d be appalled and he wanted to spare her from those feelings and himself from the rejection that was bound to happen.</p><p>He also knew Hermione was right. He took no real pleasure out of other’s discomfort, especially if he was the one causing it. It might’ve amused him, or sometimes he would feel pride at knowing where to press to make it hurt, but that was focused more on his own ability to read people than his skill to hurt someone.</p><p>“Did you tell <em>him</em>, why you broke up with him?” he asked, in an attempt to throw her off her game with his question, ignoring her altogether. </p><p>“I didn’t need to,” she answered snappishly. “He said he could see it in my eyes.”</p><p>“Of course only a blind person would miss that,” Severus muttered under his breath.</p><p>Hermione leaned slightly forward, eyes narrowed. “What was that?”</p><p>Severus blinked once, uncomfortable under her gaze.</p><p>“Nothing more than my utmost surprise for Gryffindors’ inability to keep their emotions to themselves,” he said with all the disdain he could muster.</p><p>o0o</p><p>Hermione rolled her eyes, perfectly aware of what he’d said.</p><p>She had meant it when she said he knew why she’d broken up with Ron; Severus was always terribly perceptive and in addition to his exceptional observational and deduction skills, there was simply no way he was completely ignorant of her attraction to him.</p><p><em>Oh but there is a way</em>, a small voice in her head said, <em>and you know exactly what it is.</em>,</p><p>Till that point she’d forgotten about Severus’ insecurities, because he was being such an arse, but the fact remained: the boy had next to no self-esteem, no matter how hard he tried to mask that with all his scorn and indifference, which meant he probably didn’t think she would even glance at him twice. </p><p><em>He can’t be more wrong</em>, Hermione thought morosely, though now she knew she had her work cut out for her. </p><p>For a minute there, they both said nothing. Instead they kept eyeing each other suspiciously, wondering what the other was thinking. </p><p>Severus could see the girl was mulling things over. After all their study sessions, he knew her facial expressions when there was a plan forming in her head. Usually, though, he could tell what she was contemplating, whereas now he had no idea. Well, he had some ideas, but he wasn’t quite ready to voice those, even to himself.</p><p>Hermione could tell Severus had some inner crisis going on, and she could relate more than just a little bit. </p><p>Though she could finally admit to herself she really liked the boy, she hadn’t quite anticipated the fact he could return those sentiments. How could she? He had never given her any reason to, right? Of course that was where she was wrong, because even though he probably didn’t know it himself, Severus had been uncharacteristically patient, gracious and kind to her over the past days. Yes, he still had a bad temper, but so did she and while they were both capable of setting off one another in a flash, objectively, he had mellowed out more than just a bit. At least towards her. To others, he was still mostly his usual rude bastard self, especially when dealing with the Headmistress. </p><p>No, there were times he was rude, sarcastic, acerbic, sardonic, but somewhere along the way his scathing remarks had lost most of their heat.<br/>
Even now, when his words were flat-out cruel, it was like his heart wasn’t in them.</p><p>At those thoughts, Hermione almost laughed at the absurdity of their situation, though she refrained because it would probably not be welcomed at the moment.</p><p>Still, the sheer idea of herself making plans on how to seduce Severus Snape, boy or not, was ridiculous enough on itself,but who would’ve thought she was actually going to do it?</p><p>Hermione was sure if, a year ago, anyone, even Merlin himself, would’ve told her precisely that, she would’ve laughed the person out of the room, but the Fates were funny like that.</p><p>Seeing him glaring at her, still, she gave him a small smile, which surprised him, if the way his eyes widened was anything to go by.</p><p>That smile still in place, she took a deep breath, gathered her Gryffindor courage once more and took a step in his direction.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Look, I went over this chapter time and time again and it never really felt right to me. It took me a tremendous amount of time to get this chapter anywhere remotely close to not being so terrible I just wanted to cry. It still isn't like I want it to be, but it's Acceptable, I hope.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter sixteen - Blind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>So Hermione is determined to seduce Severus, but who is manipulating who exactly? And is provoking Hermione such a good idea?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Look, I just can't see Hermione as some seductress in this fic, but I said she was going to be one, so here's how I think Hermione would go about it. </p><p>For those who have noticed I've added a tag, I'm sorry for the spoilers.</p><p>Now, enjoy and as always,</p><p>Much love!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter sixteen - Blind</h1><p>
  <em>What the hell is she doing?</em>
</p><p>Severus eyed Hermione suspiciously as she was closing the distance between them, a distance she put there herself just moments earlier.</p><p>Just a few minutes ago they had been yelling at each other, swinging below the belt with their remarks. He hadn’t even been that angry with her, but his temper had gotten the best of him yet again. Honestly, he didn’t even know how they got to the point of shouting; one second the girl was checking in on him the other second they were on opposite sides of the room, trying to turn the other to ashes with their glares.</p><p>Okay, fine, in retrospect, it was probably his own fault for reacting like he had. As always his acerbic tongue had ruined it for him.</p><p>The girl had been asking if he was alright, and when his usually sharp mind had failed to come up with a response, the first thing he <em>had</em> said had been some sarcastic comment. To her credit, Hermione hadn’t even seemed fazed by that and had waved it away, after which Severus had done the only thing he knew: try and drive her way some more.</p><p>Now that he thought about it, it hadn’t been her who had dealt the first strike. No, it was him. </p><p>To be fair, Hermione had been the one to take the first step towards the slippery slope they were on now, by soaking his robes with her tears, then getting herself drunk and going all gooey on him. Yes, he had stormed off, somewhat immaturely, but if she hadn’t followed him, everything would’ve been fine. The next morning, they would’ve fallen into their usual interactions, not mentioning the night before. But she <em>had</em> followed him and here they were.</p><p>Severus stared at Hermione, trying to understand the look in her eyes.</p><p>Something had shifted, thought he didn’t know what and that unnerved him.</p><p>Normally, the girl was an open book, her emotions and thoughts plainly written across her face, but now, there was something off.</p><p>He could tell she was nervous by the way she had her hands clasped together in front of her, but her gait told him she was also very determined to reach her goal, whatever that might be.<br/>
That wasn’t all, thought. No, there was something else going on in that mind of hers, and Severus really didn’t know if he <em>wanted</em> to know what that something was.<br/>
Feeling his pulse rising, he watched as Hermione came closer, till they were face to face, well, her face to his chest. This girl had the height of a fourteen year old.</p><p>He felt the urge to fidget, uncomfortable with Hermione’s front almost touching his, so he clasped his hands behind his back, hooking his fingers together. Time stood still as they held each other’s gaze, and Severus wondered how long they were going to stand there for because for once, Hermione seemed to be patiently waiting for something. </p><p>As they stood in silence, he watched those big brown eyes search his face, which he tried to keep impassive, though it was getting harder and harder as time went on. He noted her eyes flitted from his own eyes to his mouth, and he had to keep himself from wetting his lips. Peering down his nose at her, he held his gaze steady as her eyes glided over his thin frame, not risking to do the same.</p><p>
  <em>What are you up to, Granger.</em>
</p><p>When intensifying his scowl didn’t work to get her to make her move, Severus decided to copy her. In his experience, being imitated was irritating enough to get your victim to snap, and Hermione was more than clever enough to pick up on it.</p><p>Moving his hands from his back to his front, he laced his fingers together, mimicking her fidgeting by picking at his cuticles. He willed his eyes to soften and forced the right corner of his mouth to curl upward in a timid smile.</p><p>Hermione didn’t take long before she noticed exactly what he was doing, judging by her narrowing her eyes on him, and Severus had to suppress a smirk. He knew he had succeeded, when Hermione changed her stance, crossing her arms and favouring her left leg, her hip jutting out. Slow in his motions, Severus duplicated her posture, even going as far as catching his bottom lip between his teeth and gnawing on it.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Hermione asked, suspicious.</p><p>Pleased with himself for drawing out the girl this quick, Severus’ left eyebrow went up.</p><p>“I can ask you the same,” he replied smoothly.</p><p>“I’m not the one copying you.” The girl tilted her head to the side, unwrapping her arms and letting them fall to her sides.</p><p>Severus said nothing as he did the exact same thing.</p><p>“That!” Hermione said accusingly. “Why are you imitating my stance?”</p><p>“What are you doing here?” Severus ignored her question. “Your friends are all downstairs, trying to kill themselves with alcohol poisoning. Shouldn’t you be joining them while you can? Before McGonagall forces you to spend all your time with me again?”</p><p>“I think I’ve had enough alcohol for tonight.” She shrugged, before adding, “and Professor McGonagall doesn’t force me to do anything.”</p><p>“Right,” Severus scoffed. “Like you don’t have anything better to do every day and night than to spend it with me, all holed up in your quarters.”</p><p>“Actually, I don’t.”</p><p>Severus gulped.</p><p>Taking a glance at the room, it seemed like it had shrunk in size somehow. There were still two worn-down Chesterfields, a couple of bookcases filled with battered books, a beautiful chestnut grandfather clock, and that grand piano behind him, but everything felt like it was squished together. The clock told him they had been in the Room of Requirement for almost an hour now.</p><p>Wondering how that could’ve happened, Severus returned his gaze to the witch, who seemed to have gotten even closer, their toes practically touching.</p><p>“Don’t,” Severus said with a low voice.</p><p>“Don’t do what?” Hermione asked in a tone that was way too innocent to be real and did not match her mischievous expression.</p><p>It hadn’t escaped Severus’ notice Hermione’s eyes kept shifting up and down his face. Well, if they weren’t busy checking out his body, that is. A small voice in the back of his head told Severus exactly what was going on, but a bigger part of him wanted nothing more than to ignore that voice. How much he liked the witch, wanted her, wanted her to like him, to want him, his wishes didn’t outweigh his fear of rejection and disappointment. Even if she wanted this, him, for tonight, there was no saying she wouldn’t come to her senses tomorrow, and since he didn’t know when and how he was supposed to get back to his time, he wanted to avoid any situation like this.</p><p>And so he kept his eyes on the spot between hers, not trusting himself to let them wander about. He kept his hands together, his back straight, while leaning back ever so slightly so he wouldn’t have to feel the presence of Hermione’s body so near his.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t come any closer.” He articulated every word with care, making sure his voice was perfectly even and void of any traces of pleading.</p><p>“Why?” Hermione asked, though she did what he said.</p><p>Severus bit his tongue and kept silent, wanting to close his eyes to block her and her adorable brown eyes and those pretty red lips, out of his mind. </p><p>“Why?” Hermione pressed.</p><p>“Just don’t.”</p><p>Despite the fact Severus was sure Hermione could hear the desperate undertone in his voice, the witch moved nonetheless. Severus, however, had anticipated this and took a step backwards, his eyes not leaving hers in the process. The back of his legs hit the piano bench, but he chose to stay upright, hoping his height could help him somehow.</p><p>To his surprise and relief, Hermione didn’t follow him, but stayed where she was, now two feet away from him. She even smiled at him when his features showed his confusion for a split second. </p><p>“I am sorry, you know,” she said, surprising him again. His eyebrows furrowed.</p><p>“For tonight,” she explained. “I know you aren’t comfortable with affairs like these, having to waltz in front of all those people, socialising with my dunderheaded friends.”</p><p>Severus said nothing.</p><p>“I’m sorry you had to spend your night like this,” Hermione continued. “I’m sure you’d rather spend it reading in silence, without my annoying presence.”</p><p>“Even if I could’ve read all night, you would’ve been there as well anyway,” Severus remarked flatly.</p><p>“And I’m sorry for that as well,” Hermione said matter-of-factly. “You have almost no privacy these days, I’m sure that must be hard for you.”</p><p>“That is hardly your fault, nor something you can remedy,” Severus replied.</p><p>“Maybe it’s not my fault, but perhaps there is a way I can alleviate some of the difficulties.”</p><p>“And how exactly are you planning on doing that?” Severus asked with genuine interest, though more than a little sceptical.</p><p>“I have my methods.” was all Hermione answered.</p><p>During their little conversation, Severus had been too distracted with carefully choosing his words, that he hadn’t noticed Hermione inching her way closer to him again. The girl was now almost standing pressed against him once more.</p><p>“Did I not tell you to not come any closer?” Severus ground out, resisting the urge to ball his fists, which he wanted to do only to refrain from reaching out and touching Hermione’s face. His anger wasn’t even directed at her this time, but at himself for letting her divert his attention like that, though he was on the verge of lashing out again, if only to get her to back off.</p><p>“You did,” Hermione agreed, smiling. “I forgot. I guess we were both a little distracted.”</p><p>“I don’t see how this is something funny,” Severus groused. “Yet, you are smiling.”</p><p>“It is, though,” Hermione said. “It’s both funny and amusing.”</p><p>“Yes, of course, my apologies,” Severus drawled. “How foolish of me that I don’t recognize any humour in the fact you’ve completely ignored my request to keep your distance, just pushing and pushing, not taking my boundaries in consideration for even a moment.”</p><p>Severus was aware his voice kept rising with every word he said, but at that moment he didn’t care.</p><p>“No, you are just little Miss Perfect, aren’t you. Miss I-Took-Nine-NEWTS, one of the few female potions apprentices in Britain, not to mention all those men, and women, at the ball, who were virtually drooling whenever you came close. Only you aren’t perfect, are you? You just dumped your “boyfriend” without giving him a chance to fix things. You cry all over me, which I let you do, by the way, and then you practically assault my person with your drunk antics. You just do whatever the hell you want, don’t you?! DON’T YOU?!”</p><p>He was breathing hard when he finished talking, or shouting, really, but Hermione didn’t seem to care, for she still had that smile on her face. She just stood there, right under his nose, with that annoyingly patient smile.</p><p>“Why are you still smiling?!” Severus asked, exasperated.</p><p>“Because of you, of course,” Hermione answered as if nothing had ever been clearer.</p><p>Vexed, Severus opened his mouth to make some scathing comment, resolved to drive her away from him for once and for all, though he wasn’t entirely sure he was able to anymore. All his remarks that evening had achieved was irking her, provoking her, but not really hurting her. Though if that was because Hermione just didn’t care enough anymore or that his heart wasn’t in them, he didn’t know.</p><p>Before he could react, though, Hermione held up her hand in an attempt to silence him.</p><p>“I beg your p-” Severus began.</p><p>“Shut up, Severus,” Hermione calmly, but firmly cut him off. “Now, you listen to me for a second. And do not interrupt me!”</p><p>Swallowing hard, all Severus could do was nod, his body simply refused to do anything else. The witch may have been small, but she was terrifying in her own right.</p><p>“I think it’s time we establish a few things, don’t you think?” Severus was clever enough to recognise it was a rhetorical question. “First off, we don’t know when you’ll have to go back to your time, and for all we know it’s going to take another year. All that matters is the fact you get back eventually and everything will be fine. Till that moment, it doesn’t really matter how you spend your time here, as long as you don’t learn anything that could make you alter the paths you choose in your life. Still with me so far?”</p><p>She took a moment to study his face, and Severus found himself nodding again under her stern gaze. Fleetingly, he wondered if Hermione would ever consider a career in teaching because he thought she would be an excellent teacher.</p><p>“Good,” Hermione went on. “Second off, despite our initial… issues with one another, we have agreed on a friendship during your time here. I don’t think it’s only me if I say our friendship works. Your studies are advancing pretty well and mine are coming along nicely, too. Letting the events of this evening ruin that would be a shame. And though I know I am the one to blame for most of those conflicts, it is up to you if you decide to hold this night against me.”</p><p>“I won’t!” Severus said quickly when Hermione took a little pause, before he could think better of it.</p><p>“I know you won’t,” she nodded, smile still in place. </p><p>Severus didn’t hear her. “I swear I won’t hold it against you, I- wait… You do?”</p><p>In response Hermione’s smile turned into a grin and her eyes softened considerably, but she didn’t actually reply verbally. Severus did note, however, she didn’t call him out on interrupting her despite being told not to, either.</p><p>“How?” Utterly puzzled, Severus felt both his eyebrows disappear into his hairline. “How can you be so sure? So trusting? So… so kind! Why are you being so kind to me? I have done nothing to deserve any of that!”</p><p>“No, you haven’t,” Hermione said softly. “Does that bother you?”</p><p>“I-” Severus wanted to answer her, but his words fell short. Luckily for him, Hermione just continued to talk as if she hadn’t heard him at all, and for once that didn’t irritate him.</p><p>“You accused me of breaking up with Ron without even knowing why I felt the need to,” she recalled with a tone that was just a tad more serious than before. “You’re wrong. I do know why. And I think you know, too.” She paused for a second, presumably gauging his reaction. Severus knew his face showed his confusion, which was probably why she went on by saying, “Ron wasn’t mad at me, you know. I told you he said he could see the reason in my eyes. And I know you said only a blind person could’ve missed that. You’re not blind, Severus. What did <em>you</em> see?”</p><p>“Who said I was looking?” Severus tried to deflect. “You’re an idiot. People just see what they want to see. If Ronald could accept your dismissal so easily, chances are he had been planning to do something similar himself.”</p><p>To his dismay, Hermione didn’t let herself be thrown off by this. She merely raised one eyebrow in a manner not unlike he often did.</p><p>“Could be,” she granted. “Though I feel like that wasn’t what you meant, when you made your comment about the blind person, and Ron himself told me something different.”</p><p>Severus decided it was best to hold his tongue.</p><p>“Do you want to know what he told me?” Hermione pressed. “He told me I was looking at someone else the way I used to look at him. I think you know who that someone is.”</p><p>Again, Severus chose to remain silent, willing his face to remain as impassive as he could manage, which wasn’t all that much at the moment; he felt his cheeks heat up.</p><p>Hermione didn’t comment on it as she continued. “I was also told that same person fancied me and thought I was beautiful. Do you know anything about that?”</p><p>Strongly feeling the need to deny and object Hermione’s words because he felt like they were reaching dangerous grounds again, Severus wanted to open his mouth, ready to deny everything she’d throw his way, but it never came that far. His face must have shown his true colours.</p><p>Although she still wore that same gentle expression on her face, for a split moment, the earlier determination shone through, and not a second later, Severus found himself being pulled down by a small hand on his cheek, warm soft lips meeting his.</p><p>His eyes widened, completely taken by surprise. Never in his life had he expected that to happen, and certainly not now. It felt like electricity was buzzing through his whole body. He felt his skin flush with red and her hand on his cheek almost burned him.</p><p>Yet, despite everything, he froze.</p><p>What couldn’t have been more than two, three seconds felt like a lifetime to him, standing there with Hermione’s lips on his, and when she pulled back, he couldn’t do anything but stare at her. He didn’t even straighten his back. Instead, he kept standing hunched over, eye to eye with Hermione, whose cheeks bore an equally crimson look.</p><p>For a minute they simply stood, gazing at one another, not saying a word. Severus felt his back beginning to ache but he couldn’t find the motivation to move. His head felt too heavy and too light at the same time, and his hands were itching with the desire to pull Hermione against him and kiss her like he should’ve done. Why the hell had he gone rigid like that? Tom and Lucius be damned, that was amazing!</p><p>While he was busy berating himself for being so stupid, he didn’t notice Hermione had some inner conflict of her own. It only caught his attention, when something in her came loose.</p><p>“I, I-” she stammered, turning away from him and beginning to pace. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I’ve miscalculated the situation and now you probably hate me, if you didn’t already after tonight, and-”</p><p>“Stop it.” Severus heard his own voice cut through Hermione’s babbling. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”</p><p>“But I assaulted you! I am supposed to be your tutor, not some horny harlot who can’t keep her hands to herself. I know you’re uncomfortable with touch and here I go, touching you with my lips. What was I thinking? What must you be thinking? I-”</p><p>“Hermione!” Severus yelled, making the girl halt her pacing and stream of words. She turned to face him again, her eyes hopeful but cautious.</p><p> “You were right,” he said in an almost whisper. “I’m not blind.”</p><p>Briefly, Hermione just gaped at him, her confusion evident, but she didn’t take long to catch on and then that confusion made way for something else as understanding dawned on her. </p><p>How she managed to move across the room with her short legs that fast, made Severus wonder if the room really had shrunk, but soon other thoughts occupied his mind, when Hermione’s mouth collided with his again.</p><p>He felt her arms going round his neck, pulling him closer to her, and he had to remind himself to relax under her touch. Letting himself be pushed back and down onto the piano bench, their mouths parting for a second, he watched as Hermione went to stand between his thighs.</p><p>Magic was certainly applied when Severus found himself exactly at eye-level with the witch. Something had elongated the legs of the piano bench.</p><p>The coy smile Hermione wore as she stood in front of him was adorable and Severus longed to have those lips on his again. As if she had read his mind, Hermione placed her arms around his neck again and pressed her mouth on his. Closing his eyes, Severus moved his lips in tandem with her and forced himself to stay relaxed when he felt Hermione part her lips against his, her tongue tentatively flicking out and the tip tickling his lower lip. </p><p>Distracted by the feeling of her fingers loosening his bun before lacing them through his black locks, he opened his mouth as well. Immediately, he was rewarded by Hermione’s tongue entering his mouth and brushing against his own. An embarrassing moan escaped him as he kissed for the first time in his life. This was nothing compared to all the things Lucius’ ladies had done to him. If this was how good you could feel from just a kiss, Severus was sure he wouldn’t be doing anything else with anyone else ever again. All he wanted was to kiss Hermione.</p><p>Severus couldn’t help but feel a twinge of pride when Hermione moaned into his mouth. Apparently he was doing something good, so he repeated his motion of swiping his tongue across hers. </p><p>“Put your arms around me,” Hermione whispered against his lips when they parted for air.</p><p>Eager to do whatever she told him to do in order to make her feel as good as she did him, Severus pulled Hermione into his arms, but in all his eagerness, he used too much force and Hermione’s hands tightened their grip on his hair.</p><p>“Too much!” she told him when she pulled away from their kiss, and Severus quickly loosened his embrace.</p><p>Presumably to show him how it was done, Hermione moved her hands from his hair to his neck and then down his back, rubbing him over his robes in slow circular motions. Copying her, Severus let out another moan when Hermione went back to kissing him languidly and threaded her fingers through his hair again.  </p><p>Severus felt Hermione was trying to press herself even closer and as much as he wanted her to do exactly that, his fear of embarrassment pulled him in a different direction. When Hermione tried to climb onto his lap, Severus shifted awkwardly on the bench. His teenage body had picked up on what was happening and with this girl straddling him, Severus became painfully aware of a certain member of his body. </p><p>“Please, don’t,” he managed to whimper in between Hermione’s maddening kisses.</p><p>“Why?” she pulled back to look at him with genuine concern. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>Severus swallowed hard. </p><p>“Nothing,” he mumbled. “I just-”</p><p>“Severus,” Hermione interrupted him gently. “I do know you’re human, you know. It’s okay.”</p><p>“No, but-” he wanted to protest, but Hermione wouldn’t hear of it and kissed him again.</p><p>Being kissed by such a wonderful witch who also happened to be in his lap, Severus’ words got lost on their way out and he did his best to return Hermione’s fervour, moving his lips and tongue against hers. His knee jerked up when she ground down on his lap, probably purposely brushing against his tented trousers. A grunt came out, which Hermione clearly took as encouragement, for she did it again.</p><p>“Merlin, oh! No, please!” Severus moaned, despite the fact everything Hermione did felt wonderful. From her tongue probing his mouth to her hips grinding down on him, Severus felt like he was flying.</p><p>“It’s okay, you’re fine,” Hermione soothed him as she moved her mouth to his temple, kissing her way down his face to his jaw, and ending up sucking on his pulse point. </p><p>“Aah yes!,” Severus whimpered as he felt his eyes roll back in his skull when she bobbed down on his lap again. “Please don’t stop.”</p><p>Suddenly, he felt his muscles convulse and he started trembling uncontrollably.</p><p>A strangled cry escaped his lips, but got lost in Hermione’s mouth as she attached her own lips to his again. What had been a slow and unhurried kiss, was now a heated and feverish assault of his mouth. Complaining, however, was the last thing on Severus mind as he kissed her back while his shaking only caused more friction between them.</p><p>When he finally went rigid, Hermione’s tongue slowed down and pulled back, her hips seizing their movement. Panting, Severus struggled to keep his head upright, but Hermione’s hands cradling him took care of that as she pecked him softly on the lips.</p><p>“Thank you,” Hermione whispered softly. When he opened his eyes at the sound of her voice, Severus found her smiling at him.</p><p>Confused and worn-out, he barely managed to murmur, “What for?”</p><p>“You called me beautiful.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well, that was... errr.... something...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter seventeen - a comforting hand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Let's see how these two deal with the fall-out of their shared moment together, shall we?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Uni starts in a little less than two weeks, so I'm not sure if I can keep up this schedule of one chapter a week. Maybe I'll have to change in to one every other week, but we'll see. </p><p>Anyway, here's a chapter where Jonas makes an appearance again, 'cause I have missed him. I like the guy.</p><p>As always,</p><p>Much love!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter seventeen - a comforting hand</h1><p>Still kind of high on endorphins, Severus let out a chuckle, which prompted a laugh by Hermione, and soon they were both laughing out loud, Hermione still in his lap. They continued to laugh, shaking off the tension and weirdness of the situation. It was all wonderful, during that little moment of pure bliss Severus shared with Hermione, he was truly happy.</p><p>But then their laughter ebbed away, and silence filled the room once more, only the sound of slight panting left.</p><p>That was the moment Severus felt the panic set in. </p><p>It had been a long, long time since he’d had a panic attack as severe as this one. He still suffered from them every once in a while, but he had learned to deal with it, to breath through them and keep control over his mind. This one was different, though.</p><p>By letting Hermione in, Severus had not only unconsciously lowered his mental walls, but they were completely gone. Of course he hadn’t meant to do <em>that</em>, but when he’d hit his climax, all his control had gone out the window. It had shattered everything he had worked for the past years, everything Tom and Lucius had taught him. </p><p>Yes, letting Hermione in had been absolutely amazing. With his mental walls lowered, everything had felt more intense, more real, like some kind of veil had been lifted.<br/>
But that veil was the one thing that had kept Severus’ emotions in check and his fears buried. Now they were loose and after months of emotional distance from everything, including himself, Severus didn’t know how to handle all those feelings.</p><p>And now he was sitting in the Room of Requirement, in robes that were way too nice for him to ever lay eyes on, but spoiled with his disgusting bodily fluids, and then there was this wonderful girl in his lap, at bloody two-thirty AM. He was also hyperventilating, but that was not something he was aware of, until he heard Hermione’s voice from far away telling him to slow his breathing. </p><p>Unable to comply, Severus’ panic only rose. </p><p>He had let Hermione come too close, his treacherous body coming completely undone under her attention. How revolted she must be. Severus was sure she would be appalled by him, and in his mind he was already listing the things he would need to pack when she’d throw him out. He knew he would if someone were to display such a major lack of self-control. He couldn’t even control his own bloody breathing! </p><p>Through the haze of panic, Severus felt Hermione get off his lap, which nearly caused him to spiral even further down, thinking she was abandoning him. Readying himself for the sound of a door being slammed closed, he squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to let the tears out before Hermione’d left him. Thankful for his long hair which had been let loose from the tight bun, he made sure it covered his face like a curtain in case some tears did escape. Who knew? It wasn’t as if he had any control now, did he?</p><p>When there came no such sound, Severus pried his eyes open again, immediately searching for Hermione’s. He didn’t need to look too far because she was standing right in front of him.</p><p>Blinking a few times, Severus continued to hyperventilate, though he was more aware of his surroundings than before.</p><p>He watched Hermione crouch down and look up to him, genuine concern in her eyes. He felt one small hand on his knee, her right one reaching up to his face. As she caressed his cheek, she whispered comforting words, telling him it was okay and he had nothing to worry or be embarrassed about. </p><p>Slowly, but surely, Severus’ breathing evened out, though a stray tear did make its way down his face. However, before he could work himself into a frenzy because of that tear, Hermione merely brushed it away with her thumb and placed a soft kiss on the spot afterwards, dropping her right hand afterwards, though her left hand remained on his knee.</p><p>“Why are you being so kind to me?” He had meant for it to come out in a serious tone, but he didn’t quite manage. Instead, it sounded more like a plea if anything.</p><p>“You’ve comforted me as well tonight,” Hermione reminded him. “I am simply returning the favour.”</p><p>While Severus wasn’t sure what answer he had been expected, or hoped for, it wasn’t that. It figured, though. Why else would she show such kindness to him?</p><p>In that moment of self-pity and doubt, he forgot about the fact they had snogged each other senseless just minutes prior, or about her Gryffindor status. Anyway, Hermione’s kindness was anything but a return of favours.</p><p>His mental walls still not back up, she must have seen his disappointment on his face, ‘cause she added, “and because I like you.You make me want to be nice to you, Severus.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“I- I don’t know,” Hermione said. “I just know I do. Is- Is that okay with you?”</p><p>Not daring to look up to meet her eye, Severus nodded.</p><p>“I want to be nice to you, too,” It came out in a barely audible whisper.</p><p>Peering through the curtain of black hair, Severus saw Hermione smile softly.</p><p>“Then we’ll both be nice to each other,” she said.</p><p>Nodding again, Severus opened his mouth to address something else, but the words got lost on their way out.</p><p>“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Hermione gently pressed.</p><p>Severus swallowed. This was far from easy for him. In the end, he got there, his need for validation bigger than his fear of being ridiculed.</p><p>“Was I- Did I-” he started. “Was I any good?”</p><p>“What do you-” Hermione began to ask, when she caught on. She dropped her left hand from his knee and the loss of it did more to him than he cared to admit. “You mean the kissing..?”</p><p>In confirmation, Severus gave an almost imperceptible nod as he felt his cheeks turn pink.</p><p>“You were wonderful,” came the sincere answer, and then her hand was back on his knee. It was distracting, really, when he hadn’t even said what he actually wanted to say.</p><p>“But I- and you didn’t- and-” he stammered from behind his hair. His blush deepened.</p><p>“No, I didn’t come,” Hermione said airily. “But that’s okay. Don’t worry, I enjoyed it immensely.”</p><p>She patted his knee lightly, before pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, making his face flush crimson red.</p><p>“Oh! That reminds me.” Abruptly, Hermione got up and drew her wand which she pointed at Severus. Before he could ask what she was doing, however, she waved it once and suddenly he felt way more comfortable. </p><p>“Thanks,” he said, finally looking up to her.</p><p>Hermione waved her hand dismissively. “We can’t have you leaving her all sweaty and sticky now, do we?”</p><p>Despite himself, Severus found himself smiling at that, and when Hermione extended her hand to him, he took it and let himself be pulled to his feet.</p><p>“Ready to go back?” she inquired.</p><p>However, when Severus nodded and she began leading them toward the door, Severus stopped her.</p><p>“What about Disillusionment?” he asked.</p><p>“Not this time,” Hermione smiled. “Everyone has already seen you tonight, and by now they’ve either gone home, or they’re drunk enough not to remember anything.”</p><p>Not completely assured, Severus frowned. “And the Aurors and teachers?”</p><p>“Like I said,” Hermione said patiently. “They’ve already seen you and don’t know who you are. If anyone sees you, they’ll just assume the potions apprentice landed herself some handsome bloke.”</p><p>While his earlier blush had dissipated, another, equally scarlet one, decorated his face just as pretty at the witch’ comment. And when she opened the door and pulled him through, Severus didn’t object.</p><p>o0o</p><p>“Severus, can you come here for a sec?”</p><p>It was three days since the fundraiser and classes had started again. Only two months were left until NEWTS and other final exams were upon Hogwarts’ residents, something the teacher among them were all too keen on letting their students know. In fact, Jonas and McGonagall had been grilling Hermione and Severus so hard, they had barely spoken to one another at all after they’d reached Hermione’s rooms and went straight to sleep in their own beds, the events of the evening more than successful in wearing them down.<br/>
Well, they hadn’t spoken about anything personal, that is. Both of them seemed pressed to avoid any conflict.</p><p>Everytime they were in the same room, they both sneaked more than just a couple of glances at the other, but never did they actually talk about what had happened or what it had meant to them. They advised one another at their respective studies, Hermoine dutifully quizzed Severus on his, but there wasn’t a single word about the night of the fundraiser. </p><p>When, the next day, Jonas had asked them if they’d enjoyed themselves, Hermione had simply said yes, and Severus had ignored the question altogether, though, for him, that wasn’t completely out of character. If the Potions Master had picked up on anything, he hadn’t said anything. </p><p> </p><p>Severus looked up from what he was doing to find Hermione’s whiskey-brown eyes watching him. Nodding, he got to his feet and walked over to where the girl was sitting behind Jonas’ desk.</p><p>“Come here,” Hermione waved for him to go around the desk.</p><p>Standing next to her, Severus took a glance at the project she was working on. There were a lot of lines and circles in various colours and if Severus didn’t know any better it could’ve been a three-year old’s drawing. He’d seen her with those scrolls before, but most of those times she just had been scowling at them, not unlike that moment. </p><p>“What am I looking at exactly?” he asked, unsure what she wanted him to say or do.</p><p>“Arithmetic equations of course!” Hermione answered a little indignantly.</p><p>“I can see <em>that</em>,” Severus said. “Why am <em>I</em> looking at it?”</p><p>“Because I can’t figure it out!”</p><p>Exasperated, the witch waved her wand, making the lines and numbers dance across the parchment, and Severus had to fight the urge to laugh. Whenever Hermione was <em>this</em> frustrated because she couldn’t work out a problem, her magic made her hair all fizzy-fuzzy. The crabby look in her eyes also didn’t help Severus' internal fight, which was why a snort escaped.</p><p>“This isn’t funny!” Hermione turned her head to meet Severus’ eye, her crabby expression now upgraded to something bordering fury. “I have to solve this! It’s part of my apprenticeship exams. Jonas said it’s a longstanding tradition to let every apprentice solve this problem at the end of their first year, so the Masters can see how the students have progressed their studies. I can’t fail!”</p><p>She furiously flicked her wand multiple times to change the pattern of the numbers again.</p><p>“Hey, hey!” Severus crouched down to be face-to-face with the stressed-out witch. Taking her hands in his, he gave them a gentle squeeze. “You’ll do just fine. You’re the brightest witch I know and you will figure this out in no-time once you relax and believe in yourself.” </p><p>It didn’t escape either one’s notice how ironic that sounded from Severus’ lips, but that didn’t make his words any less true.</p><p>“I guess I can take a little break,” Hermione conceded.</p><p>Smiling, Severus got up and pressed a kiss to her head. “I’ll make tea.” </p><p>When he turned to leave, Hermione’s hand caught his wrist, stopping him in his tracks. Raising an eyebrow at her, he looked down at the top of her head. </p><p>“Why did you do that?” she asked, her eyes on the desk before her.</p><p>Confused, Severus’ other eyebrow shot up. “Did I do what?”</p><p>“Why did you kiss my head?” Hermione’s eyes were still fixed on the desk.</p><p>Still frowning, Severus’ pupils widened. </p><p>“I did nothing of the sort.” He almost winced at the sound of uncertainty in his voice.</p><p>“Yes, you did,” Hermione said, but not accusingly. She still didn’t look up from the desk.</p><p>Her response went straight past him as his mind was occupied with replaying the last minute in his head. Coming to the conclusion, he had indeed kissed Hermione on the top of her head, Severus’ frown deepened. He wasn’t known for his physical affection and yet, somehow, he had unconsciously pressed his lips to Hermione’s head.</p><p>When he went back another minute, he surprised himself with the memory of taking Hermione’s hands in his. Of course he remembered comforting her, but he hadn’t realised giving her hands that little squeeze.</p><p>“Hermione, I’m so sorry,” he began when he’d gathered enough of his wits to actually speak again. “I shouldn’t have. I didn’t know what I was thinking. I-”</p><p>“It’s okay, Severus,” Hermione cut him off. At last, she turned her head to look at him.</p><p>Surprised by her reaction, Severus blurted. “It is?”</p><p>“It’s not like we haven’t done anything.. errr… else, right?” she chuckled lightly.</p><p>“Well, yes,” Severus said as he felt his cheeks redden. “But since you haven’t done or said anything since, I just...”</p><p>He trailed off when he found he didn’t know where to go. He didn’t know if he wanted to tell her that it was okay if she had come to her senses and didn’t want anything to do with him anymore, even though it had hurt when she hadn’t approached him again, or if he wanted to yell at her for not doing exactly that. He still had a hard time believing she’d actually made the move on him that night, so the former seemed more than reasonable, which was why he hadn’t spoken up himself. Though he longed for her to be in his arms again, he wasn’t about to push his luck and ruin whatever companionable unspoken agreement they had at the moment. He would just deal with the disappointment and loneliness himself, counting his lucky stars for that one night.</p><p>He hadn’t noticed each time he said something clever or each time he went with his hand through his hair, Hermione went a bit glass-eyed. He hadn’t noticed Hermione watching him, staring at him every time he brewed, his gaze transfixed on his cauldron or whatever ingredient he was preparing with elegant motions of his knife. </p><p>“You haven’t done or said anything since, yourself, mister!” Hermione countered, her eyes narrowing.</p><p>“Yes, but that’s because…” Again, his voice faltered when he didn’t know how to explain his actions.</p><p>“Because <em>what</em>?” Hermione asked challengingly.</p><p>Sighing and inwardly scolding himself for his cowardice, he shrugged and went to turn and walk away. “Forget it.”</p><p>“No, Severus,” the witch shook her head, and caught him by the wrist again. “<em>Why?</em> Why is it that one time you’re this sensitive, vulnerable boy, and not a second later you’re all clammed up? I meant it when I said I enjoyed our kissing. Merlin knows you did as well!”</p><p>“Because!” Severus was just vaguely aware he had raised his voice, yanking his wrist back and stepping a few feet away from the desk, his back to the girl. “Because you have absolutely no reason to like me! How could I bring up that evening again if you’re probably disgusted by even the thought of it?!”</p><p>“Severus, you git!” Hermione got to her feet as well and was yelling to his back. “You’re not listening! I said I <em>enjoyed</em> our kiss. I do not regret it and I am not disgusted! If anything, I would jump your bones right now!”</p><p>As the words registered, Severus slowly turned on his heels, facing Hermione once more, their bodies just inches apart. Clearly she hadn’t meant for that last bit to slip out, if her crimson red face was anything to go by. He knew he had one to match, but for once he wasn’t the most embarrassed party present.</p><p>“You would do <em>what</em>?” he asked in a low voice. He was completely oblivious to the fact that <em>that</em> voice was doing things to Hermione she wouldn’t even be able to describe.</p><p>Giving credit where credit was due, despite her embarrassment, Hermione lifted her chin defiantly and gave Severus something he was sure had to be a sly smirk.</p><p>“You heard what I said.”</p><p>Severus’ left eyebrow went up. </p><p>“But if you’re so sure of your desires,” he said. “what’s holding you back? You don’t seem like the type to wait for anything to fall into your lap. You just take whatever you want!”</p><p>Consciously or unconsciously, Severus didn’t know, Hermione pushed her chest forward as she put her hands on her hips. “Maybe I will!”</p><p>She moved one of her hands to Severus’ chest as she continued to gaze up to him.</p><p>“Just in case you didn’t hear me that night either,” Hermione said. “I like <em>you</em>, and not just that kiss.”</p><p>“I-” Severus opened his mouth to reply but he didn’t come far.</p><p>What would’ve happened after that, they’d never know, ‘cause as they were standing there, their bodies almost flush against the other, the door to the office flew open and a disheveled Potions Master came barging in and Severus and Hermione shot to opposite sides of the room.</p><p>“Hermione,” he said, even before taking in the scene before him. “You’re needed in the Headmistress’ office. A very angry young man named Harry is waiting for you.”</p><p>He only then took time to look around the room, finding his two charges looking anywhere but at each other, both sporting a beautiful scarlet red blush and breathing heavily.</p><p>“Care to explain what just transpired here?” Jonas asked the both of them.</p><p>“Nothing happened,” said Hermione at the same time Severus said, “Not particularly, no.”</p><p>The roll of the Professor’s eyes told them he didn’t believe Hermione for one second, but he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he just turned to her and gestured for her to come with him.</p><p>“Take your things with you,” he said. “This is going to take a while. Severus, you can find your way back to the quarters when the day is done in an hour or so.”</p><p>Severus just nodded before he went over to the settee where he’d been studying earlier. Without even looking, he took one of his books and pretended to read as Hermione went to the desk and began gathering her things.</p><p>“I guess I’ll see you at dinner,” Hermione said when she’d packed her books and scrolls.</p><p>“I’ll see you tomorrow when I pick you up for your field trip to the green houses. Due to personal reasons, Professor Sprout’s classes are canceled tomorrow, so you are free to study Herbology there.”</p><p>Answering with another nod, Severus watched Hermione follow Jonas back into the adjoining lab. Only when a slam of a door indicated they had left, he closed his book, and started his overdue internal debate.</p><p>o0o</p><p>Hermione had to skip a bit to keep up with Jonas’ long strides. The dutchman had awfully long legs. </p><p>“I assume you already know what this is about?” he asked her as they made their way to the stairwell.</p><p>“Do you?” Hermione asked him in return.</p><p>“The Headmistress might have informed me on some of the matters at hand, yes.” the Professor admitted. “What are you going to say to him?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Hermione said. “I’ll just see what he has to say and react accordingly.”</p><p>Jonas let out a small chuckle. “How terribly Slytherin of you, Miss Granger. You would almost think someone is rubbing off on you.”</p><p>Choking, Hermione almost stumbled. The Potions Master couldn’t have picked a worse way to phrase that, but she had a feeling he’d done it on purpose. Not much escaped the man’s notice.</p><p>“What exactly are you implying, Master Bergen?” she asked innocently. She could play this game just as well, if not better, with that Slytherin “rubbing off on her”.</p><p>“Nothing your friend isn’t already,” came the answer.</p><p>“Oh god, Harry isn’t going to let this go, is he?” Hermione asked, giving up all pretense.</p><p>“It seems not likely, no,” Jonas said. “But maybe it’s not a bad thing.”</p><p>He nodded a greeting to a few students in passing as Hermione and he entered the right corridor. Hermione smiled at them.</p><p>“What do you mean, Professor?”</p><p>“I’ll let the Headmistress explain,” Jonas said. “Just sit back and listen. Don’t let yourself get provoked. There is a plan.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Who had forgotten about Harry and his outburst a few chapters ago?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter eighteen - Snape’s son</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Harry pays Hogwarts a visit to get some answers.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter eighteen - Snape’s son</h1><p>“Please, Hermione, dear, Mister Potter, sit down,” the Headmistress said sharply before they  could say anything when Hermione entered her office and the two friends saw each other. It didn’t escape either one’s notice the way she’d addressed them. She also noted almost all the portraits behind the Headmistress’ desk were empty, Dumbledore’s included.</p><p>More than just a bit apprehensive, Hermione quietly sat down in the left leather high-back chair, Harry doing the same on her right. Folding her hands in her lap to keep from fidgeting, she flicked her eyes between the stern-looking woman in front of her and one of her best friends beside her. Never had she thought she would be more prone to seek support from McGonagall than Harry. </p><p>It wasn’t as if she disliked the Headmistress, quite the opposite in fact, but Harry was the one who had been her friend through six years of school and a quite literal Hell and back. And yet, now, she couldn’t find the courage to even look him directly in the eye. She hadn’t spoken with him since the fundraiser event, since they’d had a row over Severus, who Harry had mistaken for Severus’ son. </p><p>“Tea?” McGonagall asked the two of them, her eyebrows raised. Hermione declined by shaking her head in what she hoped was a polite manner.</p><p>Harry said, “Tea is not going to help this matter.” </p><p>Resisting the urge to gasp at Harry’s blatant disrespect, Hermione’s head snapped sideways to look at the boy. He was hardly a boy anymore, though. It hadn’t really registered with her during the ball, but somewhere along the line, Harry had matured significantly, and not in a good way per se, Hermione decided. Boyish features long gone due to the war, the past month Harry’s face had changed even more. His anger was clearly visible, but there was a haunted look in his eyes, and he looked like he hadn’t had a good night’s rest in forever. Hermione couldn’t recall if he’d looked like that just three days ago, but she supposed Harry could’ve used glamour spells for the occasion.</p><p>“Are we seriously going to sit here, sipping tea, ignoring the Erumpent in the room, or castle rather?” Harry glared at the two women. “How long have you known Snape had a son?”</p><p>If McGonagall was taken aback by Harry for his rudeness, Hermione thought she hid it well. She merely regarded the black-haired boy over the rim of her teacup, her eyebrows drawn into a frown. Hermione herself wanted to scold Harry, but upon remembering Jonas’ warning to just sit and listen, she bit the inside of her cheek and held her tongue.</p><p>“How could you not tell me this?” Harry asked the Headmistress accusingly before turning to Hermione with the same accusatory look in his eyes. “And you! I thought we were friends?! How could you keep this from me, not to mention Ron? How could you do this to him, with the git’s son no less?!</p><p>Her Potions’ Master’s advice in mind, Hermione looked to the Headmistress for help, and to her relief, the elder woman placed her teacup back on its saucer before addressing Harry.</p><p>“To answer your first question, Mister Potter,” she said. “No, we will not ignore the matter at hand, in fact, I am rather pleased you’re here to discuss it. However, before we proceed, I must ask you to take a Wand Oath never to reveal anything said in this conversation to anyone but Miss Granger and me.”</p><p>“No,” Harry said, too quickly to Hermione’s liking. If he was going to be this difficult, this meeting could take all night, because she was sure McGonagall wasn’t just going to send him on his way if he kept refusing. “You can’t make me take such an oath. And if you think it’s necessary to do so, this must be important enough I’m required to inform the Ministry of it.”</p><p>The Headmistress didn’t appear phased by this in the slightest. She simply nodded with her lips pursed into a thin line before replying. “No, I’m afraid I can’t make you take an oath. However, I think you will understand why I ask you to do so, after you’ve done it and I can explain the situation.”</p><p>Sensing Harry was about to refuse again, Hermione jumped in in order to persuade him. She had no idea what McGonagall and Jonas’ plan was, but she wasn’t thick-headed and understood the importance of Harry’s sworn silence.</p><p>“Harry, please, take the oath,” she said, looking him straight in the eye. “Whatever comes next, you were never this loyal to the Ministry. Your loyalties lie with Hogwarts, remember? As did Professor Snape’s. You were the one who testified on his behalf. Your testimony freed him from all the charges. Would you have done that if you thought him to be truly evil? Please, just take the oath and listen to what Professor McGonagall has to say. I swear I will answer your questions to my best abilities afterward, but please just take the oath.”</p><p>Holding her breath, Hermione just watched Harry as she tried to gauge his reaction. Whatever they taught him at that Auror’s programme, her friend had improved considerably at schooling his features. From the corner of her eye, she saw the Headmistress nod approvingly.</p><p>“Alright, Hermione,” he said at last with an audible sigh. “I trust you one this one, but you’ll have to do a lot of explaining.”</p><p>Thanking whatever gods who were willing to listen, Hermione smiled softly at her friend, glad he’d come to his senses. She reached out and tentatively touched his hand, not sure if it would be welcomed, but Harry didn’t recoil. Instead he just pulled his wand out of his pocket with his free hand and spoke the words to invoke an Oath of Silence.</p><p>Thank you, Hermione mouthed at him, when he’d put his wand away again, though he kept ahold of her hand, still.</p><p>“Very well,” the Headmistress said, her tone milder than before, though still quite serious, “thank you for your understanding, Mister Potter.”</p><p>Harry nodded in response. Hermione kept silent, anxious to know what plan the former Transfigurations Professor had up her sleeve.</p><p>“To answer your most burning question, Mister Potter,” the woman said. “Yes, Headmaster Snape indeed fathered a child, the boy you’ve met at the fundraiser.</p><p>Unable to keep completely from reacting at all, Hermione bit back her gasp, but her eyebrows flew upward. Whatever she’d expected the plan to be, it wasn’t that. </p><p>Harry’s face must have shown confusion as well, ‘cause the Headmistress continued by saying. “I do not know with whom, but I believe that information is of no concern at this point of time. Speculations aside, it is fairly safe to assume this child is a bastard or, at any rate, a castaway, for he has been brought up by other people than Professor Snape or his true mother. His adoptive parents are Muggles, which is why till recently, the boy was considered a Muggleborn. He has attended Beauxbatons and has only returned now, after the war, because of his wrongly assumed bloodstatus. Records show, however, the boy truly is a Snape.”</p><p>Hermione watched Harry’s expressions change from confusion to disbelief to something else with every few words the Headmistress spoke, knowing her own would’ve done the same if she hadn’t been trying furiously to not show her surprise. After all, she was supposed to know all this already.</p><p>“The boy wishes to return to England permanently,” McGonagall went on, after taking a sip of tea. “, but with his father’s reputation, we fear this might not be safe for him. This is where you come in, Mister Potter.”</p><p>“You need something from me,” Harry stated rather gravely. His tone made it clear he wasn’t open to the idea of helping, though Hermione suspected it was because of something other than just it being who Harry thought to be his former Professor’s son. But to her dismay, she couldn’t figure out what that something was. </p><p>“Yes, I do,” the Headmistress admitted instantly instead of beating around the bush like her predecessor might’ve done. “I need you to make a public statement concerning Severus Snape. It is time the world knows not only of his true nature but of his actions as well. The public needs to know how much he has sacrificed in order to restore balance in our world. His reputation has been blemished for too long, and if his son is to live in our world safely, there need to be made some changes to the public’s way of thinking.”</p><p>Harry cocked his head and let go of Hermione’s hand, folding his arms over his chest.</p><p>“It won’t work,” he said. “They will not listen. They don’t want to listen. It was Snape who allowed the Carrows to torture them or their children. They will never like him, forget respect him.”</p><p>Despite not liking his words, Hermione had to admit they held some truth to them. Whatever praising statement Harry might make, it was highly unlikely the public would see it the same way. Her own questions were focused on something else, though, namely why McGonagall needed Harry to do such a thing, for there was no son to protect at all. Yet, she held her tongue as instructed and just continued to sit and listen.</p><p>“Yes, it will work,” the Professor responded. “Because that’s not all you’re going to do. You will also call a meeting with our Minister of Magic and insist there will be a Severus Snape Day to commemorate everything he has done for our world’s safety.”</p><p>“May I ask why don’t you do it yourself?” Harry questioned, not unreasonably.</p><p>“Because I am not the Boy Who Lived,” came the curt response. </p><p>Hermione looked from Harry to McGonagall and back, wondering what they were thinking. She had absolutely no idea why the Headmistress would ask this of all things from Harry, and she knew Harry wouldn’t hesitate a second to refuse if asked directly. </p><p>It didn’t come to that, though.</p><p>“I won’t do it,” Harry said decidedly after a moment of silence. Hermione could tell by his voice something bothered him, and if Hermione didn’t know any better she’d say he was sad.</p><p>“Yes, you will,” the stern Professor said resolutely. “You will because I know you don’t want another young man’s life ruined because of influences he cannot control. You can prevent that from happening and I know I have taught you differently than to refuse doing the right thing.”</p><p>By the expression on Harry’s face, Hermione knew the Headmistress got him. However, there was still some other conflicted look in his eyes, and Hermione wondered if he would tell them what bugged him.</p><p>There was a good minute of silence before Harry slowly nodded his consent.</p><p>“Fine,” he conceded. “I’ll do it. Just make sure the boy makes good use of his freedom.”</p><p>“He will make a proper man out of himself,” the Headmistress promised him before turning to Hermione. “I’m sure you and Mister Potter have lots to discuss. I trust you’re able to find a proper place for a discussion like that.”</p><p>Hermione looked up to meet the Professor’s gaze, which told her the message behind her cryptic message. <em>Keep him away from Severus</em>, it said. She just hoped Harry wouldn’t pick up on it.</p><p>After McGonagall told Harry she would be in touch for the information regarding the public statement, they bid the Headmistress goodbye. </p><p>In silence, they descended the staircase and walked down the corridor. Silently they headed to the seventh floor, where they approached the right wall for the entrance to the Room of Requirement. It was the only place Hermione could think of that would suit their needs. No one would be able to follow and overhear them and she could ask the castle to protect her from Harry in case he would erupt in anger upon hearing her answers to his questions.</p><p>There was no way of being certain of course, but Hermione had the distinct feeling she was not going to like his line of questioning. Most likely it would involve Severus, or rather his made-up son, Ron and a lot of yelling. And if things weren’t confusing enough for Hermione, she was now standing in the exact same room she’d kissed Severus just three days back, which reminded her they’d been awfully close to doing the same thing just an hour ago.<br/>
Sighing, she sat down at one of the worn-down Chesterfields.<br/>
It made sense that the Room had turned itself into this form. It <em>had</em> been on her mind after all. The room itself, Hermione didn’t mind, it was a nice furnished little space. She just wished she was in the room with someone else and it felt almost wrong to be there with Harry, like he didn’t belong there. It felt like he was intruding on something intimate and private.</p><p><em>Keep it together, Granger</em>, Hermione reprimanded herself. It wouldn’t do for her to lose her cool, now. Harry would want to know all kinds of things and she couldn’t afford to lose focus and let something slip she shouldn’t say.</p><p>“Please sit, Harry.” It wasn’t an order, but Harry scowled at her nonetheless and continued his pacing in front of the sofa.</p><p>“How <em>could</em> you, Hermione?” Exasperated, he halted his steps to look at her before he started walking again. “How could you not tell me Snape had a son?”</p><p>Sighing again, Hermione tried to think of what to say. She knew she was a terrible liar, so just fibbing something would almost certainly not work, not with Harry, who had known her for half his life. The only option she had was to divert her friend’s attention, but how she was going to do that, she had no idea. Gryffindors weren’t made to play mind games.</p><p>After a full minute of silence and a still pacing Harry, Hermione got off the sofa and walked over to the book cases which were lined up along one of the walls. If Harry was going to let her continue this silence, she would just wait till he pressed her for actual words. She had promised to answer his questions after all.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Harry eyed her suspiciously as Hermione ran her finger over the dusty spines of the old tomes. “Some questions cannot be answered with books, you know.”</p><p>“Harry, please,” Hermione said with her back to him. “This isn’t easy for me either. There’s no need for you to be cruel.”</p><p>She heard a sigh coming from behind her, followed by cautious footsteps in her direction. </p><p>“You’re right,” she heard Harry say. “I just-...”</p><p>Slowly, Hermione turned to look at her friend. Up until now, he had mostly been angry with her, but now his tone betrayed his true feelings. She had been right before; something truly vexed him. He wasn’t just bitter because she had witholden information from him, there was something else disturbing him.</p><p>“Harry,” she said warily, “what exactly is it that makes you this angry with me? Yes, I didn’t tell you, though I wanted to, but you can understand why I didn’t, right?”</p><p>Harry, even though he was a head taller than her, wouldn’t look at her directly. Instead he kept his gaze at the books behind her.</p><p>“Harry, come on,” Hermione gently coaxed him. “You’re my best friend; I can tell there’s something bugging you, and it’s not just this whole son-thing.”</p><p>“You should’ve told me,” was all Harry said. “Why didn’t you tell me? You said you would answer my questions.”</p><p>“I promised Professor McGonagall I wouldn’t,” Hermione replied.</p><p>“Do other people know?”</p><p>Hermione nodded. “Jonas, my Potions Master, does.”</p><p>“The Ministry?”</p><p>Harry still had his eyes on the book cases, which irritated Hermione. She wasn’t the one who wanted to have this conversation. The least Harry could do was look at her when he spoke to her.</p><p>“Not to my knowledge, no,” she said truthfully.</p><p>To her surprise, Harry seemed to be relieved as he let out some air. Wasn’t he the one who had insisted they had to tell the Ministry?</p><p>“Harry, what’s going on?” Hermione asked him.</p><p>He turned away from her and sank down at the most saggy of the two Chesterfields. With his head in his hands, he sullenly shook his head multiple times, muttering under his breath.<br/>
Only when Hermione went over and sat down beside him, he looked up and met her eyes.</p><p>“He loved her.”</p><p>Hermione frowned. </p><p>“Who loved who?” she asked, genuinely confused.</p><p>“Snape,” Harry said, surprising her again. “He loved my mother.”</p><p>“Wait, what?!” The words had left her lips without her realising it, but never in the world had she thought she would hear those five words without a single trace of deception.</p><p>“How do you know?” she asked Harry, but as soon as she had asked the question, she knew how.</p><p>“The memories.”</p><p>She felt her stomach fall as she watched Harry slowly nod. </p><p>She simply couldn’t believe it, didn’t want to believe it, not while she was sitting in the same bloody room she and Severus had been snogging just a few days ago. The boy could be cruel in his words, but she hadn’t thought he would mislead her like this. He had appeared genuine in his affections and words. Had it all been a ruse? Did his heart truly belong to Lily Potter, who he knew as Lily Evans? Had he just used her for his physical needs?</p><p>Then something else about this whole ordeal caught her attention.</p><p>“Harry,” she began hesitantly. “What is bugging you exactly?”</p><p>Shaking his head, her friend smiled sadly at her. “He loved her.”</p><p>“But-” she got interrupted before any other words could come out.</p><p>“He loved her!” Jumping to his feet, Harry resumed his pacing while he ranted away.</p><p>“The greasy git loved her, called her a Mudblood, got her killed! And now this! How the hell did he manage to- No, it can’t be, I don’t believe it. Then again, who would even consider- The bastard!”</p><p>“Harry,” Hermione tried to snap him out of it. “Harry!!”</p><p>It didn’t work one bit as he continued to furiously stalk up and down the room. </p><p>“Harry, when I kept information from you, you didn’t like it,” Hermione reasoned. “Don’t do this to me, too.”</p><p>That seemed to come through somehow, and Hermione was glad he stopped pacing. Uncomfortable as she was already, Harry’s nervous break-down didn’t help her.</p><p>“What’s wrong, Harry?” she tried again, trying unsuccessfully to meet his eye. With a glassy look, he seemed to stare at something that wasn’t there.</p><p>Staying seated, she repeated the question. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“The boy,” Harry muttered. “Your date? I think he’s my brother.”</p><p>Despite her efforts to counter it, Hermione felt her jaw go slack. For once thankful Harry’s words had shocked her to the core, she managed not to laugh or cheer as he mind held an internal party. She did feel a little guilty her friend felt so utterly tormented by the idea of having a half-brother, but seeing as that whole story was a lie, there was really nothing to be so tormented about in the first place.</p><p>
  <em>Oh bugger.</em>
</p><p>Almost as soon as her celebratory feelings had come, they vanished as she realised she had to talk Harry down, all the while keeping him out of the loop from what was happening for real. In the meantime she was fully aware Harry was still expecting some sort of reaction from her, but due to obvious reasons, Hermione couldn’t find herself to form any sensible words. </p><p>Just blinking at him, Hermione’s thoughts went at full speed. At last, three internal debates and two and a half mental break-downs down the line, she came to the conclusion she had to tell him the truth. Every fib she came up with, she knew he wouldn’t believe her anyway, how well-put the lie would be. She simply couldn’t lie and trying to do so would only piss Harry off even more. She just hoped he wouldn’t fly off the handle when he heard the true story.</p><p>So she told him, she told him everything.</p><p>She told him about how she’d first run into the awkward lanky seventh-year student, how she’d learned his name, how she’d come to agree to tutor him while the real adults would try to find a way to send him back into the past. She explained how they had butted heads at first, but how they found themselves liking one another, which had turned into a friendship. She even told him how she had fallen for the teenage Severus Snape, which was why she’d ended things with Ron. She tried to explain McGonagall’s plan on getting a time-turner, but since she wasn’t privy to all the information about that herself, there wasn’t much to explain. She went on by telling Harry why she couldn’t tell him all this before, and still was forbidden to do so, but seeing him so disturbed made her do it anyway.</p><p>She told him everything she had wanted to tell him during the past weeks. The only thing she kept to herself was what had transpired in the very room she was in now. </p><p>To Harry’s credit, he listened to her without uttering a single word, sitting down next to her on the sofa somewhere in the middle, and when she concluded her story, all he said was, “You’re completely mental, and I mean that in a good way.”</p><p>When Hermione just cocked an eyebrow, he had added, “I can’t imagine how the hell you would fall for someone as Snape, but I know you and if you say you like him, I’m sure he’s different from his adult self. And even if I’m not entirely keen on the idea of you snogging him, it’s better than being convinced he was the father of my half-brother!”</p><p>“Then don’t think about me snogging him!” Hermione exclaimed, while jabbing him in the ribs.</p><p>“So you don’t deny you are?” Harry waggled his eyebrows at her.</p><p>“Gods, you’re impossible!” Hermione shook her head, but she couldn’t honestly be mad at Harry. He had taken this the best way possible and she was glad she finally had someone to talk to.</p><p>“Wait a sec,” Harry then said, smirking slightly, “Does Ron know you dumped him for Severus Snape?”</p><p>“No, he does not!” Hermione said quickly. “And I would appreciate it if you kept your gob shut, Harry!”</p><p>She glared at him, making him throw up his hands in a disarming manner.</p><p>“Alright, alright,” he gave in. “I won’t tell him.”</p><p>“Or Ginny!” Hermione pressed. “Or anyone.”</p><p>Harry nodded dismissively, so Hermione felt the need to drive the message home.</p><p>“I mean it, Harry,” she said. “If someone bad learns of his visit here, he could be in serious danger, and I don’t say this just because I care about him. If something were to happen to him, we could lose our world as we know it. We all know he’ll be the key to winning the war, we can’t afford to lose him.”</p><p>“Yes, I know,” Harry nodded, now more solemnly. “I won’t say anything.”</p><p>They sat in silence for a moment, both lost in their thoughts. To be fair, Harry had a lot of information to digest, in addition to the relief he must have felt when he learned he didn’t have a half-brother. Hermione, on the other hand, was busy working herself into a frenzy because of McGonagall’s inevitably negative reaction when she heard Hermione had told Harry the truth.</p><p>While she was kind of wondering what went through Harry’s mind, she let her eyes glide around the room. Of course they lingered for a bit at the piano bench, but shaking her head, she willed herself to look away. She wouldn’t think about that, not with Harry right there next to her.</p><p>The past year, Harry had spent his time in the Auror’s training programme, greatly improving his observational and deduction skills, which is why Hermione’s weary glance around the room didn’t go unnoticed.</p><p>“Hermione,” he asked tentatively. “What are you going to do when he goes back?”</p><p>Sighing, Hemrione hung her head. This was not something she liked to think about. In fact, she had avoided thinking about it right until now. </p><p>“There’s nothing I <em>can</em> do, is there?” she replied in a small voice. “He has to go back and save the world. Merlin knows how much he is going to suffer and how lonely he’ll be. I wish I could help him, but I can’t. He’ll just have to live his life like before, ending with him dying in that horrible place.”</p><p>A stray tear fell down her cheek, followed by more. How she ended up crying in Harry’s arms, she didn’t know, but she knew she was grateful for a good friend like him.</p><p>“At least he has his time here,” Harry said. “From what I’ve seen, I don’t think he was particularly happy during his school days, but at least during the fundraiser, he seemed happy enough to be with you. You know he’s said he thinks you’re beautiful?”</p><p>Through her tears, Hermione let out a chuckle. “Yes, Ron told me Severus told Ginny, in French by the way. I honestly had no idea he spoke French. We thought he would just keep his mouth shut, but well… he didn’t.”</p><p>“He’s lucky to have met you, you know.”</p><p>“Thanks, Harry.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay, I confess, I just couldn't turn Harry into the bad guy here. I've read many stories that depict him as some hateful bloke, and honestly in those stories it kind of works, but in mine, I felt like Hermione has been isolated enough and needs a friend</p><p>Anyway, I tried to write Harry as a bit emotional volatile, still, like I thought he was in the books, though I tried to give him a bit of a matured side, which made it a bit tricky to write him. I just hope that he isn't totally fickle or odd, not more than I intended him to be, at least :)</p><p>I <em>think</em> we're one chapter away from the whole Severus-returns sequence, by the way, so that's something...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter nineteen - Lasagna</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Severus loves Lily. Severus loves Lily. Severus loves Lily.</p><p>Does Severus love Lily..?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Look, even since I've watched the film Garfield 2 as a child, I absolutely LOVE lasagna.</p><p>That's why they ate it all those chapters ago, and it's why it's back now.</p><p>I have no regrets. No. Regrets!</p><p>Also, you're about to go on a little bit of a bumpy ride, so you might want to buckle up...</p><p>But as always,</p><p>Much love!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter nineteen - Lasagna</h1><p>Relieved she had finally someone to confide in, Hermione almost skipped as she made her way down to the dungeons. She had walked Harry to the Apparition point where they’d hugged with a promise to see each other soon. When Jonas had informed her a very angry Harry had been waiting for her, dread had filled her, but the day couldn’t have ended better than this. Well, at least according to Hermione. She still doubted McGonagall would see it that way, but that would be an issue for later. For now, she was just going to walk to her quarters where Severus would be waiting, and then they would dine together like every other evening.</p><p>When she walked through the door, the delicious smell of lasagna hit her nose, and a gurgle from her stomach reminded her she had skipped her lunch and tea-break due to her fixation on that incredibly hard Arithmancy problem and Harry’s visit.</p><p>“Everything alright?” she heard Severus’ voice come from the kitchen as she put away her cloak and leather satchel. </p><p>“Hm,” she mumbled in response, making her way over to him.</p><p>She took a goblet from the left overhead cupboards and filled it with water with a flick of her wand. Goblet in hand, she leaned against the counters as she watched Severus move about with pots and stirring utensils.</p><p>“Lasagna, Severus?” she asked him. “Are you trying to impress me?”</p><p>“Why, Hermione,” he smirked over his shoulder from his spot by the sink where he was doing the dishes. “Is there any reason I should?”</p><p>Lifting the goblet to her lips to hide her own smile, Hermione knew her eyes betrayed her anyway.</p><p>“Oh I don’t know. Is there?” she asked in a feigned light tone.</p><p>Severus took his moment responding, using his wand to put away the cleaned dishes before he went over to the stove to check on the lasagna in the oven.</p><p>“Let’s say I was,” he said. “Would a perfectly stacked lasagna help do the trick?”</p><p>Openly smiling now, Hermione placed her cup on the counter.</p><p>“If that’s what you have in the oven there, you can consider me impressed.”</p><p>She pushed herself away from the counter and approached Severus while he was still peering through the little window in the oven door. When he got up and turned, Hermione stood right in front of him, her nose practically touching the wool of his jumper.</p><p>“Hello there,” he said shyly with a small awkward smile playing at his lips as he gazed down at her.</p><p>“Hi,” Hermione said, placing her hand on his chest. After the emotional taxing afternoon beginning with frustrations about Arithmancy, followed by sexual tension between her and Severus, ending with anxiety because of Harry, Hermione needed physical comfort more than ever before. And what she needed even more, was the assurance, Severus wanted her. </p><p>Harry had told her Severus loved Lily, but he hadn’t said when or for how long. She could only assume it had to be around the same time he’d left ‘78, which meant his heart probably still belonged to the red-head. How he could have accepted her attention after the ball, she didn’t know, but she knew she needed him to do it again. Just this last time before everything would fall apart.</p><p>“You didn’t mention how it went,” Severus remarked, recoiling just marginally from her touch. “With this Harry? What did you do to piss him off?”</p><p>“Please don’t mention him when I’m about to kiss you, Severus,” Hermione said, putting her other hand on his cheek, pulling his head down to meet her.</p><p>He didn't resist her when she pressed her lips to his, but he didn’t exactly kiss her back. He just kept still and let her move her mouth against his, his arms hanging down, not touching her.</p><p>
  <em>Stop it. He doesn’t love you. This is not what he wants.</em>
</p><p>With an internal sigh, Hermione pulled away and let her hand fall from Severus’ chest. Looking up to meet his gaze, she saw a certain heat in those bottomless black orbs, which only confused her more. If he wanted her, why didn’t he kiss her back?</p><p>It was time for some of that famous Gryffindor courage.</p><p>“Severus,” she said tentatively. They were still staring at each other. “Do you want this?”</p><p>She used her hands to wave awkwardly between them.<br/>
If the burning heat in his eyes was anything to go by, Hermione would’ve assumed ‘yes’, but he didn’t say so. He just kept silent while a frown appeared on his forehead. He looked conflicted.</p><p>Recognising it wasn’t a solid ‘yes’, Hermione stepped away from the Slytherin, going back to stand by the counter she’d been at before.</p><p>“Is it because of Lily?” she asked, her eyes never leaving his and vice versa.</p><p>o0o</p><p>
  <em>How the hell does she know about Lily?</em>
</p><p>Too shocked to answer Hermione properly, Severus just stared at her as he felt his cheeks redden.</p><p>“You love her.” It wasn’t a question.</p><p>Swallowing thickly, Severus just nodded, apprehensive of Hermione’s reaction. He wanted to know how she’d come about this information, but for some reason his mouth wouldn’t ask the question. </p><p>A defeated sigh came from the girl and she shook her head a few times, finally averting her eyes. She wasn't fast enough though, to cover the flash of hurt in her eyes.</p><p>“Finish your lasagna,” she said. “We’ll talk over dinner.”</p><p>Without waiting for an answer, she walked away and disappeared into the bedroom, leaving Severus standing alone in the tiny kitchen. </p><p>o0o</p><p>“Coming!” Hermione called from her bed when there was a knock on the door.</p><p>She’d been reading to keep her mind from dwelling on Severus and Lily. Though she already knew her attraction to the Slytherin boy was more than just lust, the thought of him being in love with another witch hurt her more than she cared to admit. There was nothing she could do, though, and she would just accept she’d broken up with Ron for a boy who didn’t want her.</p><p>Well, to be fair, that break-up had been inevitable, and in all honesty, Hermione was glad she’d done it now rather than later. She’d known she didn’t feel for Ron what he felt for her and it hadn’t been fair of her to string him along like that. No, breaking up with him had been the best thing she’d done for their relationship.</p><p>That brought her back to Severus, though. She knew it was stupid of her to feel sorry for herself; they hadn’t even agreed on something as concrete as a relationship and still it felt like he’d dumped her just now. Hadn’t it meant anything to him, that night in the Room of Requirement? He couldn’t deny there was some level of mutual attraction, otherwise he would’ve reacted the way he did, right? Then again, he was just a teenage boy and maybe his body had reacted for him.</p><p><em>Oh god! Have I sexually assaulted him??</em> </p><p>Just that afternoon, in Jonas’ office, when she’d accused him of not doing anything, what was it he’d responded.</p><p><em>“Yes, but that’s because…”,</em> he’d said, and then he’d trailed off. She’d tried to get him to finish his sentence, but he’d refused, saying <em>“Forget it.”</em></p><p>Had he been trying to tell her he hadn’t said or done anything to assure her of his want for her, because he had none? Had he been trying to tell her he had none because his heart belonged to someone else? Had he been trying to tell her he hadn’t said anything because of Lily?</p><p>All caught up in her crushing guilt, Hermione didn't realise for a second that guilt might have something to do with her avoidance of a certain matter of an unrequited attraction. It never occurred to her she was unconsciously searching for another cause her affections were not completely welcomed, anything to keep herself from having to accept Severus loved another witch. It also never occurred to her, her affections actually were welcomed and Severus had kissed her back that night in the Room of Requirement. </p><p>Hermione just wasn't used to these emotional matters. She favoured logic and rationality, not feelings. In her head, all of this made sense, how guilty it made her feel. She was a woman of logic, therefore, these conclusions were purely logical as well, right?</p><p>Compelled to apologise profusely, to set things right, to do whatever it would take to make it up to him, Hermione shot from the bed, through the room and yanked open the door, only to collide into something solid, yet soft.<br/>
Peering up, she found herself looking into the eyes of Severus, who she thought would’ve just knocked to let her know the food was ready and then retreated back to the dining table. Evidently, he hadn’t and she lowered her gaze in shame.</p><p>
  <em>Great. First I assault him and then I run into him. Aren’t you just brilliant at this ‘boys-thing’...</em>
</p><p>“I’m so sorry!” the words spilled out her instantly. “I just thought- No scrap that, there is no excuse. I messed up. Now, I mean, but also three days ago. I’m so sorry! You should’ve just stopped me though. Not that I blame you or anything. Everything is entirely my fault and I don’t know how I can make it up to you or if still trust me. And I get it if you don’t want to be near me anymore, though I resent that thought, but I-”</p><p>“Are you done?” Severus’ voice cut through her ramblings. </p><p>“No, yes, I-” Hermione started, though she fell silent when she looked up again. There was no sign of anger in Severus’ expression, no hurt, no fear, no distrust. There was annoyance, though that one was kind of obvious, but also surprise and confusion. As expected, his left eyebrow had left his normal position in favour of one higher up his face, but something in his eyes surprised Hermione. She could see his confusion, but also something soft, something akin to… affection? If she didn’t know any better, Hermione thought she saw respect. In fact, his entire face seemed to be unguarded, for Hermione couldn’t recall a time Severus’ expressions had been so clear as they were now. Well, of course annoyance and anger were visible all the time, but not his positive feelings, not things like affection at any rate. Why was it there now?</p><p>o0o</p><p>The moment Hermione had left the kitchen, Severus let out some air he hadn’t known he’d been holding.</p><p>His mind reeling, he turned again to check on the food in the oven. It was done already, but he knew Hermione and he both needed a moment for themselves. So instead of immediately serving up the lasagna, he turned off the oven and put the food under a Statis Charm to keep it from going bad. </p><p>To keep his hands busy while he thought, he began sharpening the kitchen knives and when all twelve of them were so sharp they could’ve cut through steel, he went over to the cooling cabinet. Pulling out several vegetables, he set about to prepare a light salad to go by the lasagna. It wasn’t necessary to have a salad for sufficient nutrients; he made his lasagna using spinach in the sauce, but cutting cucumbers, tomatoes, bell peppers and whatnot, occupied his hands for the time being. </p><p>As he worked, his mind went over everything that had happened the last weeks. </p><p>He thought about the day he’d first met Hermione and how utterly annoying she’d been, though very insistent about helping him despite his protests. He went over their duel in the Room of Requirement, followed by their established friendship, the night he’d played the piano, and over his practise of the Aguamenti charm. Then he thought about the Fwooper incident, about his hallucinations. What was it that Potter had said, or was it Black?</p><p>
  <em>“I think the girl is his substitute for Lily.”</em>
</p><p>Despite it being an illusion, it had felt real enough to Severus and only now did he allow himself to think about the implications of that particular manifestation of his own subconscious. Up until now, he hadn’t thought back to that day in the Forest. His mind had been occupied with other stuff, but most of all, he didn’t want to think about it. That whole affair meant something was happening to him long before the fundraiser, something involving both his mind and, more important, his heart, something that confused him.</p><p>Thinking back about the ball, Severus got even more confused. </p><p>It was true, he wasn’t blind and Hermione’s stunning appearance hadn’t gone unnoticed by him when she’d stepped into their shared bedroom. But then they’d been forced to waltz together and honestly, everything after that had just gone downhill. Well, if Severus was being completely honest with himself, he didn’t know if it was downhill or uphill. The way he felt whenever Hermione looked at him with those warm brown eyes full of trust and something he would’ve called admiration if that notion wasn’t absolute nonsense to him, was indescribable. Not even Lily had made him feel that way.</p><p>Both of them had befriended him, when no one else would. Both of them had shown him kindness, made him happy. But Severus wasn’t stupid. Now, two years after the end of their friendship, he could see it for what it had been. Yes, Lily had been his friend, and he loved her dearly, but she’d never accepted him, never loved him. She’d been friends with an image of him, with the person she wanted him to be, not Severus himself. It had taken two years and a new friendship for him to realise it, but Severus now knew exactly what had been wrong with his friendship with Lily. </p><p>Whereas Lily had tried to make him into something he was not, Hermione seemed to fully accept him for who and what he was. She seemed to know him on a deeper level and still wasn’t appalled. Quite the opposite, actually.</p><p>His mind finally made up, Severus felt a certain calmness flowing through him. He hadn’t realised how conflicted this whole situation made him feel, but now that he’d solved it, it felt like his heart could finally beat without hindrance. </p><p>So he did like Hermione and she liked him. What was wrong with exploring that a little? Lily wanted nothing to do with him anymore, why should he turn his head for Hermione, who obviously did want something to do with him, to him even.</p><p>The mere thought of Hermione and her accepting nature made Severus smile. Looking down at his hands he saw the mess he’d made of the salad. He’d cut and diced every vegetable, but he hadn’t taken out a bowl to put them in, resulting in the entire counter filled with greens. </p><p>The scowl that appeared on his face at the sight of the counter would’ve lasted longer if it weren’t for the thought of Hermione still on his mind. Shaking his head because of his own stupidity, Severus just pulled out his wand and directed the vegetables into a bowl and set the dishes to wash themselves.</p><p>Without a second look, he turned on his heels and walked over to the bedroom. </p><p>His heart racing and his hands trembling, he stood in front of the closed door. Taking a deep breath, he lifted his hand and despite it being also his bedroom, he knocked.</p><p>Hermione’s voice let him know she was coming, but that wasn’t what Severus wanted right now. Gathering the courage to just enter the bedroom and come out and say what he wanted, he kept standing in front of the door when that door suddenly flew open and a blur ran into his front.</p><p>He wanted to say something, but nothing came to mind. Hermione apparently hadn't had such problems, for she started to babble like a lunatic within seconds.</p><p>Only making out the words ‘three days ago’ and ‘my fault’, he just stared at the witch in front of him, till he finally found his voice.</p><p>“Are you done?” he asked, interrupting her very confusing monologue.</p><p>“Well, no, I mean, yes, I-” Hermione sputtered, making Severus roll his eyes.</p><p>He watched her face as she awkwardly cleared her throat before looking up. As usually the girl’s face was an open book and he could tell she was surprised and confused, though he didn’t know what had caused those emotions. There was also something else, but he couldn’t place it.</p><p>Searching her face, Severus realised they were still awfully close, standing in the doorway like that, and he took a step backwards to remedy that.</p><p>“Oh Gods!” Hermione exclaimed as he put some distance between them. “I’m so sorry. What you must think of me right now! Of course you don’t want me anywhere near you. I mean I-”</p><p>Having no clue what in Merlin’s name she was talking about, Severus followed her as she retreated back into the bedroom and began pacing while muttering mostly to herself. He just stared at the witch who appeared to have some mental breakdown, because Severus didn’t have any other explanation for the situation in front of him.</p><p>“What exactly are you on about?” he inquired from his spot by the door.</p><p>It took a few seconds before Hermione seemed to realise he’d been talking to her. Upon that realisation, she halted her steps and looked in his direction. </p><p>Seeing he had her attention, Severus repeated his question, but added, “Why wouldn’t I want to be near you? We have been living in each other’s vicinity for the last weeks and I haven’t complained once, have I?”</p><p>Obviously exasperated, Hermione threw her hands up as tears began leaking out of her eyes. “Yes, but that was before I attacked you! Oh my, I’m so so sorry, Severus!”</p><p>“Attack me??” Severus found himself asking. “What the hell are you talking about? You did no such thing!”</p><p>“But I did!” Hermione cried. “That night of the fundraiser, I violated you. And just now in the kitchen I did it again! I’m such an idiot! I’m so so-”</p><p>“Yes, yes,” Severus said impatiently. He was getting fed up with the witch’s antics, especially since he had no clue what had set them off. “You’re sorry, I know, you told me that already.”</p><p>Just then did he register Hermione’s words that didn’t involve how sorry she was. What the hell was that about? She hadn’t attacked him, not in the slightest. In fact, she’d made him feel like the happiest person alive, if only for a moment. He knew she’d enjoyed their interaction as well, she’d told him after all. Why did she think he hadn’t? </p><p>
  <em>Because you haven’t told her, you fool!</em>
</p><p>At that moment, Severus could’ve hit himself over the head.<br/>
While she’d assured him of her delight of their… encounter, even going as far as trying to make a second one happen in the kitchen, he hadn’t said or done anything to make her feel like her attentions were welcomed. Well, he had kissed her on the top of her head, but then again, he had done so unconsciously, so did that really count? Apparently not, because here she was, trying to apologise for something she hadn’t done.</p><p>Flustered because of the memories of their intimacies, Severus cleared his throat before swallowing thickly. </p><p>“I enjoyed it, too,” he said, his eyes on the floor. He didn’t dare to look at her as he made his confession. It made him terribly uncomfortable talking about these kinds of things. “The fundraiser <em>and</em> the kitchen, I mean. You did nothing wrong. Quite the opposite, actually. I thought that much was clear. I mean… because of my physical reaction..?”</p><p>“Well, yes, but that doesn’t mean your mind wants it,” he heard Hermione’s trembling voice argue from a distance. “You can’t always control your body and I should’ve known to back off.”</p><p>There was a bit of a silence as Severus gathered the courage to come clean.</p><p>“My mind wanted it, too,” he said to the floor. “<em>Wants</em>, it, I mean.” He really wasn’t good at these things. </p><p>He lifted his head slightly to peer at Hermione through his curtain of hair. She had her arms wrapped tightly around her as tears continued to stream down her cheeks, and Severus’ heart ached at the sight of the utterly distressed witch.</p><p>He heard her mumble something, but he couldn’t quite make out what it was, so he stepped a bit closer, still leaving a good two feet between them. </p><p>“But what about Lily?” he heard.</p><p>“What about her?” </p><p>Hermione took a shuddering breath. “You love her.” </p><p>Knowing it was bad form to confess your love of a witch to a witch who wasn’t that first witch, Severus just nodded like he’d done before.</p><p>“But you still want me, despite her?” Severus could hear a hint of hope in her voice, even though it was still a little bit shaky.</p><p>He nodded again.</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>To that, Severus didn’t have the answer himself. He just knew he did, so he told Hermione exactly that.</p><p>“I don’t understand.” She’d stopped crying by now, but kept her arms around her, probably taking comfort in the thought of someone holding her. A fleeting thought crossed Severus’ mind, and for a second he wanted to be the one holding her, but he didn’t know if it would be welcomed. He felt like there were still a few things that needed to be cleared up.</p><p>“I don’t either,” he admitted.</p><p>For the first time in quite a while, Hermione lifted her eyes to meet his and what he saw surprised him. There was no frustration or impatience, no annoyance or anger, or worse, pity. All he saw was empathy, tenderness, affection. It wasn’t even the sight of those things that surprised him, but the fact he recognised them, for he wasn’t all too familiar with them.<br/>
But Severus prided himself in his self-awareness, even though he didn’t always want to admit everything about himself to himself, and after a quick scope of his soul, he knew why he was able to tell those positive feelings apart. </p><p>He felt them too. His own eyes reflected Hermione’s feelings in every single one of them.</p><p>As if some greater forces were at work, Severus felt himself being pulled forward and he closed the distance between him and Hermione.</p><p>“Is this okay?” he asked in a near-whisper as he slowly reached up to brush away a stray tear with his thumb. With Hermione’s earlier outburst, he wasn’t taking any chances.</p><p>Seeing her nod, relief flooded through him but the way Hermione leaned into his touch as he eyes fluttered close, did more to him than that single nod could’ve even done.</p><p>His hand still on her cheek, he gently caressed the soft skin. He felt rather out of sorts, but his instincts were screaming at him to just kiss the girl already. He wouldn’t though. Not yet anyway.</p><p>When Hermione opened her eyes again, he felt her warm hand cover his larger one, which was still touching her face. It wasn’t lust or want in those brown orbs, but pure warmth, and Severus knew his own eyes shone bright with that same warmth.</p><p>How long they were standing in that bedroom, him caressing her cheek and her caressing the hand caressing her cheek, Severus didn’t know. He just knew that if he could’ve spent the rest of his time like that, he would’ve.</p><p>At last, it was Hermione who made the next move.</p><p>Continuing to hold on to his hand, her other hand came up to touch his face, brushing a few of his black strands of hair out of the way, tucking them behind his ear. She smiled sweetly up at him as she laced her fingers through those tresses, cradling his head in her small hand before she applied a bit of pressing, indicating he should incline his head.</p><p>Smiling back at her, Severus complied and slowly leaned forward. In the back of his mind, Severus realised Hemione must have gone onto her tippy-toes, because as he got closer, her lips met his in the middle in a soft kiss.</p><p>Severus closed his eyes, reveling in the feel of her warm lips against his, as their lips moved together as one. Having learned from before, he brought his free arm around Hermione’s shoulders, drawing her closer, while he kept his other hand on her face.</p><p>A shiver went through them both as sparks flew around them. This was completely different from the frantic kisses they’d shared in the Room of Requirement. Whereas that had mostly been lust, this was something else entirely. Severus didn’t know what to name it exactly, but he knew he didn’t mind this version of kissing at all. </p><p>It was Hermione again, who took things further, slowly opening her mouth and tickling Severus’ lower lip with the tip of her tongue. Even if he wanted to, he wouldn’t have been able to keep his mouth closed at the exquisite feel of Hermione’s sweet tongue asking for entrance. His own tongue welcomed hers with a stroke on the underside of the flexible muscle, making Hermione moan ever so slightly, much to Severus’ delight. He was doing something good, then.</p><p>They continued to play around in Severus’ mouth, their tongues dancing around each other, before Hermione coaxed him to follow her back into her own. With glee, Severus let her take the lead of the kiss and almost whimpered as she licked the roof of his mouth in a playful manner before pulling back. </p><p>Opening his eyes, Severus saw Hermione smiling at him and he found he couldn’t resist the corner of his lips to curl upward, too. As they gazed into the other’s eyes, Severus realised that in that moment he truly felt at ease.</p><p>A growl coming from Hermione’s stomach broke them out of their reveries, making Hermione’s eyes widen in embarrassment, but Severus just let out a chuckle.</p><p>“Good thing the lasagna is still waiting for us,” he said dryly.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You know, these two have some serious communicational problems. I think it has something to do with them both still being teenagers. I do think it makes kind of sense for them to have so many misunderstandings though... And part of the reason behind those minderstandings is something I've realised just recently:<br/>I think I know why I think Hermione and Severus are both such interesting characters to write and especially when interacting with each other.</p><p>They’re both thinkers. They play mind games.</p><p>House affiliations aside, they both tend to live inside their head, their mind. They basically live by the phrase Mind over Matter. Depending on the POV, you never know what the other is going to say or do. You never know if they’re lying, maybe even to themselves, why they do things, or what their motivation is, which makes writing those characters always fun. You think they go this way? Nope, they go that way. It's always surprising and never boring.</p><p> </p><p>Well anyway, for the ones actually reading these notes:</p><p>I'm almost finished writing this fic and I'm dreading writing the last bits, 'cause I don't want it to be over. I won't give away any spoilers, but I've been living in this kind of haze while my chapters twirl around in my head. On one hand I'm satisfied with what I've written, but on the other, since this is my first fic, I want it to be as good as possible when I'll actually post the last chapters. </p><p>This fic ending doesn't mean I'll stop writing by the way... Sorry to anyone who secretly thinks my writing is horrible.<br/>I've got some ideas for another story, and then there's still the one other fic on my dashboard... I guess we'll see what the future holds...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter twenty- the Low</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Good, you’re both here,” Jonas said, panting slightly. “Pack a set of normal clothes and a set of dress robes. There’s word from Van Maanen, the Minister of Magic of the Netherlands. We’re expected to be there in the morning.”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Alright, here we go, the beginning of the end.</p><p>Please enjoy!</p><p>and as always,</p><p>Much love!</p><p>disclaimer: I never read anything about the wizarding community in the Netherlands, so I made up my own version of it. This is NOT an official representation of the Dutch wizarding world.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter twenty- the Low</h1><p>Three days had passed since Harry had paid Hogwarts a visit and Hermione’s life had turned upside down yet again. She couldn’t be more relieved to be back on Harry’s good side and not only that, she finally had someone to talk to about Severus, someone that was not a teacher, that is. Already dozens of owls had been sent between the two friends and Hermione felt like a weight had been lifted off her with Harry back in her corner.</p><p>During the three days that had passed, one might’ve expected Hermione and Severus to be all over each other, and while that wasn’t far from the truth, it wasn’t quite so intimate as one would think. It was true the two of them were quite inseparable, though that wasn’t very different from before. They did spend almost all of their time together already after all. </p><p>The difference was mostly a mental one. They hadn’t taken this further in the physical sense of things, but the moments they spent together were more intimate nonetheless. Apart from a few stolen kisses and several instances lingering touches, they kept their hands to themselves. Their minds were the ones colliding, swirling around each other, dancing with one another.</p><p>Their free evenings, they still spent reading, but instead of them both reading their own book, Severus had taken to reading out loud to Hermione, who had confessed her attraction to his velvet voice. Still drawn towards the classics, Severus read Catullus, Virgil and of course Ovid, but in Hermione’s opinion, he could’ve read the yellow pages and she would’ve been fine.</p><p>To their knowledge, no one knew of their relationship. Well, apart from Harry of course, but Severus didn’t know that either. They were careful with any public display of affection, but it also helped Jonas Bergen was the only person who would actually see them together anyway. </p><p>Of course they hadn’t taken in consideration the level of alertness teachers possessed. Though they didn’t know it, Jonas had picked up on their closeness probably even before they had themselves.</p><p>It was worrisome, though, he thought, which was why he’d requested a meeting with the Headmistress that Friday afternoon.</p><p>“Jonas, please come in,” Minerva said as Jonas peeked around the corner of the door. She gestured to the leather chairs in front of her desk as she held up a teapot in an unasked question.</p><p>The Potions Master entered the spacious office, took a seat, but refused the offered cup of tea. He was here for business, not pleasantries, and his Dutch directness made him want to get to the point as quickly as possible, which required a lack of liters of tea.</p><p>“Headmistress,” he did greet his boss politely, before jumping to the matter at hand, “I fear for my apprentice’s wellbeing and yes, it has everything to do with our young guest.”</p><p>Having gotten used to the man’s straightforwardness by now, the Headmistress didn’t even bat an eyelash and just nodded for him to continue as she lifted her teacup to her lips.</p><p>“It seems,” Jonas said, “Hermione and the boy have formed quite the bond between the two of them, and while I don’t make a habit of meddling in my students’ personal affairs, I fear this time the girl’s personal matters will affect her education considerably, which is why I’ve come to you.”</p><p>He watched Minerva’s face to gauge any reaction from her, but the stern woman’s expression didn’t show anything he could work with, so he went on.</p><p>“I know we are still waiting on a response of the Dutch Ministry, but I think there is a dire need to speed things up if we want Hermione to function properly when all this is through,” he said in a grave tone. “While their relationship is still in its early stages, Hermione won’t suffer as much if the boy goes back sooner rather than later. Their attachment will not be as strong. If we wait much longer, the girl will fall into a deep depression upon losing her companion. Remember what happened when she learned she would be the only one of her friends returning to Hogwarts? Remember what state she was in when no one was able to return her parents to her, when it really kicked in they would be lost forever? I will not have her go through something like that again.”</p><p>Before Minerva could respond to any of the things Jonas had said, there was some movement in one of the portraits behind her and Dumbledore cleared his throat.</p><p>“Well, hello there, Jonas,” he greeted the Potions Master jovially. “How are you doing on this fine Friday afternoon?”</p><p>“Albus, please,” Minerva interjected even before Jonas could open his mouth. “Save the pleasantries for another time, will you?”</p><p>A few of the other portraits giggled at that.</p><p>“Of course, my dear,” Dumbledore’s portrait apologised. “It seems we have a quite serious problem on our hands.”</p><p>“Indeed,” Minerva muttered under her breath before taking a big swig of tea.</p><p>“Thank you for taking this so serious, Minerva,” Jonas said, a bit confused. While he knew the Headmistress was quite fond of Hermione Granger as well, he’d anticipated having to convince her of the graveness of the situation. Apparently that wasn’t necessary.</p><p>Sighing, the woman held up a hand to silence him before she fully turned to face the portraits.</p><p>“Do you really think those measures are necessary, Albus?” she asked her predecessor. </p><p>“I’m afraid so, yes,” he nodded.</p><p>“This is ridiculous!” another painting called out. It was Phineas Black.</p><p>“Why, yes of course this is a ridiculous situation, Phineas,” Dumbledore responded, not phased at all despite the Slytherin’s outburst. “But that doesn’t make it any less important.”</p><p>“I will not stand and watch you obliterate the boy’s mind!” Black protested vehemently.</p><p>Now, Jonas was intrigued. What did they mean ‘obliterate the boy’s mind’?</p><p>“Gentlemen, please!” the voice of the current Headmaster of the school cut through the portraits’ conversation before it could escalate. “This is not helping, Phineas,” she scolded him, before addressing all the former Headmasters, “If you have nothing helpful to contribute, please refrain from joining this discussion and if you know you’re incapable of doing so, please leave for the remainder.”</p><p>A few of them mumbled something inaudible, but they all stayed where they were, even Phineas.</p><p>“Right,” she then said, turning back to Jonas, who was utterly flabbergasted. He hadn’t had the privilege of seeing so many portraits interacting with each other and was more than interested to see more. Now was not the time, however, and he directed his attention back to the only person in the room who wasn’t a painting.</p><p>“What did Headmaster Black mean by obliterating the boy’s mind?” he asked, keeping his tone from getting accusatory.</p><p>He folded his hands in his laps to keep himself from crossing his arms over his chest in an offstandish manner.</p><p>“Have some tea, Jonas,” Minerva sighed, pushing a saucer towards him. “This is going to take a while.”</p><p>As Jonas sipped on the way too sweet and milky tea, he listened to the Headmistress explaining Severus Snape’s love for a certain Lily Potter, née Evans, and why the boy couldn’t fall for Hermione. He could tell Minerva was more than a little apprehensive of the idea of having Hermione Obliviating the boy, but she also seemed resigned already, and Jonas knew he wouldn’t be able to change her mind.</p><p>“So Hermione has to Obliviate the boy’s affection for herself from his mind?” he asked when Minerva was done talking.</p><p>“Yes, she has,” she nodded.</p><p>“Well, verdomme,” Jonas cursed under his breath, using one hand to pinch the bridge of his nose while he used the other to balance the saucer with the now empty teacup on his knee.</p><p>“Verdomme, indeed,” the Headmistress agreed. A few of the older portraits gasped in horror, hearing such an unchristian word, but others, like Dumbledore and Black chuckled darkly into their beards.</p><p>“So what now?” Jonas asked. “This does not change my initial response to their relationship. If anything this makes the boy’s return even more urgent.”</p><p>“You’re right,” Minerva said, “I admire your concern for your apprentice and this does increase the need to speed things up significantly. Therefore, I will call an immediate meeting with Minister Van Maanen. The man ignores all my polite requests for one; all I get is a reply from his assistant saying he is a busy man. Like I didn’t know that...” </p><p>“A direct approach may be useful, yes,” Jonas nodded thoughtfully. Growing up in the Netherlands, he knew how evasive the Dutch could be if not pressed head-on. In their eyes, a polite request was just that, a request, a suggestion. In order to get things done, all you needed to do was to state your wishes, especially with ministry officials, otherwise your request would just get lost among all the others. According to those officials, if you didn’t simply demand your desires, your need must not be pressing enough. Anyone who learned that early on in their interactions with the Dutch would save themselves a great amount of time and frustrations.<br/>
Of course Minerva, a Brit through and through, didn’t understand the Dutch need for straightforwardness, and had probably wasted her time Owling and Flooing a bunch of low-paid assistants or clerks.</p><p>“He will get one, alright!” his employer declared. “I will not be refused any longer.”</p><p>“And Hermione?” Jonas asked. Though he was grateful Minerva was willing to hurry the matters, he still worried the girl would suffer.</p><p>“We will handle whatever comes our way,” the Headmistress answered in all seriousness. “The girl’s education will not suffer under these bizarre circumstances. I will not let it!”</p><p>Though he had to agree with his boss, Jonas was not satisfied, not yet.</p><p>“And her mental state?” he inquired. “She’s clever enough to work through her apprenticeship while deeply depressed, but I would prefer it if she would not have to suffer from such mental health problems.”</p><p>“We’ll deal with those problems if they do occur,” the cryptic answer came, but not from Minerva. It was Dumbledore who had spoken up, his eyes twinkling.</p><p>o0o</p><p>It was the next day, and witch and wizard were side by side in the kitchen, Severus doing the dishes by hand, Hermione putting them away, when Jonas burst into the quarters. </p><p>“Good, you’re both here,” Jonas said, panting slightly. “Pack a set of normal clothes and a set of dress robes. There’s word from Van Maanen, the Minister of Magic of the Netherlands. We’re expected to be there in the morning.”</p><p>Hermione had jumped at the wizard’s sudden arrival and his rapid flow of words, but she complied instantly. Severus just stood fixed in place.</p><p>“Why are we expected in the Netherlands?” he asked, both his brows drawn up.</p><p>“Would you please pack a bag for both of you while I explain the situation to Severus?” Jonas asked Hermione. “We’re leaving in fifteen minutes. The Headmistress had procured a port key.”</p><p>“What situation?” Severus demanded. He didn’t like the nervous energy radiation of the Dutch wizard. It made him feel jittery himself.</p><p>Jonas sat down, motioning for Severus to do the same. “Severus, sit down, please.”</p><p>The boy did as he was told.</p><p>“Professor McGonagall has explained your presence here, in full. Unfortunately, the Ministry of Magic insists they don’t have a time-turner and they can’t help us. However, under the pretense of research Minister Van Maanen, the Dutch Minister of Magic is willing to lend me a time-turner. As soon as we’ve obtained it, we’ll use it to send you back to your time, but we have to go now. They’re doing us a favour here, and we can’t keep them waiting.”</p><p>“Wait, send me back? A time-turner sends you back in time, not in place. How will I get back to Hogwarts when I’m in the Netherlands? It’s not possible to apparate back.” Severus protested. </p><p>“Yes, Apparition beyond a country’s borders isn’t possible,” Jonas agreed. It wasn’t. The license you got after you’d pass your Apparition Exam would allow you to apparate only within the country that gave you the pass. A different country meant different wards and a different permit, meaning a British wizard was only able to Apparate within Britain. When travelling to another country, one could file for an Apparition Permit, but in this instance, there was no time.</p><p>“Our Headmistress has given me permission to provide you with a port key which will take you back to Hogwarts. However, it will bring you to the gates of Hogwarts, not the castle itself. Is that going to be a problem?”</p><p>“I don’t see why. It isn’t as if anybody will miss me. If I recall correctly it was time for dinner anyway, so everybody will be at the Great Hall. No soul will mind if I skip it altogether,” Severus answered.</p><p>He noticed Jonas had a funny look on his face as he studied him, but the Professor didn’t say anything. Both wizards continued to stare at each other for a moment before they got interrupted by Hermione who returned from the bedroom.</p><p>“Severus, I put your clothes in your school bag along with your books. Is there anything else you had with you when you got here?” she asked as she put two leather satchels on the table.</p><p>Severus shook his head in response.</p><p>“Then we’re all set,” Hermione announced.</p><p>Jonas gave a curt nod and stood.</p><p>“We’ll Floo to the Headmistress’ office and take the port key from there. She wants to have a talk with you before we leave,” he said.</p><p>Severus and Hermione followed the Potions Master to the hearth and stepped through after him.</p><p>“Ah Jonas, just in time,” they heard the Scottish brogue as soon as they stepped into the Headmistress’ study.</p><p>“We have ten minutes before the port key will take you to the Netherlands. In the meantime..” McGonagall said with an apologetic look at Jonas and Hermione. She waved her hand and immediately Jonas’ and Hermione’s ears were filled with buzzing. Jonas pinched the bridge of his nose when he felt the buzz in his ear, but resigned to the fact the Headmistress didn’t want him to hear what she had to say to the boy.</p><p>“Severus,” the Headmistress said, turning to the boy. “I’m so proud of you.”</p><p>Severus inclined his head, indicating he appreciated the woman’s words even though he didn’t know what had warranted them. He hadn’t spoken to her all that much during his stay. After the first day, the only time he had seen her had been that one meeting she had summoned him for back on the ninth day. She had told him he could always come to her if anything needed to be sorted out, both educational problems and personal ones. He had denied the existence of those problems, of course, and after some more pressing, the Headmistress had given up, sending him on his way through the Floo, back to Hermione’s quarters.</p><p>“I’m sure you know more about your future than you did when you first arrived here. I won’t confirm or deny anything you may have heard, but please know you are a great wizard, no matter what happens,” she continued.</p><p>“Thank you, Professor,” Severus said. </p><p>They shared a look and Severus couldn’t help notice the Headmistress had the same kind expression on her face he’d seen on Hermione’s weeks earlier. It was that sad one.</p><p>Then there was some movement behind the Headmistress, making her turn around and Severus look up. It was Dumbledore’s portrait.</p><p>“My boy,” it said, causing Severus to raise both his eyebrows. He still wasn’t used to the late Headmaster’s familiarity. The Albus Dumbedore he knew wasn’t that kind to him.</p><p>“You’re going to be a great man,” the portrait said. “Whatever path you will walk, whatever faces you will meet, I am proud of you.</p><p>“Thank you, Professor,” Severus repeated.</p><p>Both Headmaster and Headmistress smiled at him before Dumbledore walked out of his frame.<br/>
Then McGonagall waved her hand again, and Severus' ears began buzzing while Hermione’s ears cleared.</p><p>“Professor,” she greeted.</p><p>“Hermione,” the Scot said. “I’m afraid we don’t have much time, but I have to tell you something and you can’t ask any questions.”</p><p>Hermione noticed the Headmistress’ eyes flicked to Severus for a second. She also didn’t fail to notice the Headmistress had used her given name instead of calling her Miss Granger. That only happened if things got particularly serious, and most of the time, emotional.</p><p>“We noted you have become quite fond of young Severus, and we believe Severus is equally fond of you, if not more,” McGonagall began. “We know about your relationship with Mister Weasley. However, Severus hasn’t bonded himself to another witch and he is known to become quite attached to those who show him kindness, such as yourself.”</p><p>Hermione frowned. Who did the Headmistress think she was assuming all that? Apparently no one had told her that whatever there had been between Ron and her was over.</p><p>“While Severus might not be in love with you right now, he cares about you a lot, and might grow to love you in that way. Merlin knows he deserves to love a witch who can return his feelings, but it cannot happen, I’m afraid,” the Headmistress went on.</p><p>Love her? How the Hell did she come to that conclusion? In fact, till that moment, Hermione had been under the impression the specifics of her bond with Severus had only been privy to the two of them. While there was certainly something between them, she wasn’t sure if she would call it love. They’d only known each other for a handful of weeks and their mutual… connection had only been known to them for a couple of days. Surely the Headmistress was mistaken. Severus loved Lily, right?</p><p>Then McGonagall’s voice broke through her thoughts.</p><p>“Hermione, if you get even an inkling Severus is beginning to see you as more than a friend, you have to stop it. It cannot happen. If it happens, you have to Obliviate him. Now tell me, has the boy done anything that indicates his feelings?”</p><p>Unconsciously Hermione crossed her arms defensively. How was this any of the Headmistress’ business again?</p><p>“Hermione, you have to tell me. Severus can not fall in love with you. He has to stay infatuated with Lily Potter. Our world as we know it depends on that infatuation,” the Headmistress pressed.</p><p>Though she already knew Severus loved Lily, however much it hurt to think about it, Hermione couldn’t help but note McGonagall didn’t actually use the word love concerning Lily Potter. She said ‘infatuated’, that bordered on obsession, and since Harry had been the child of Lily and <em>James Potter</em>, clearly Severus’ infatuation had been unrequited. Wait, was that why Professor Snape had been so cruel to Harry all that time ago? From what everybody had told him, he was the spitting image of his father. Had Harry been the constant reminder to Severus of what he couldn’t have? </p><p>“Hermione.” McGonagall’s voice pulled her from her thoughts yet again.</p><p>“He cares about me.” Hermione said hesitantly. “We… like each other.”</p><p>“Has he done anything at all that might indicate he feels something more substantial?” </p><p>“Er…” Hermione hesitated. Why did it matter if they fancied each other? The fact they did was sad enough on its own already, given the situation where they wouldn’t be seeing each other for the rest of their lives in just a few hours.</p><p>“Hermione,” McGonagall reiterated. “You have to understand Severus Snape has always been a private man, young or not. He does not let people in. If he did that, he feels more for you than you think, and we can’t have that. Severus has to stay in love with Lily Potter.”</p><p>“Why?” Hermione asked plain and simple. If she was going to open up about her non-existing lovelife, she thought she had at least the right to know why.</p><p>“Without that love, we are all lost,” was all McGonagall said.</p><p>Hermione let that sink in for a second, waiting for something else, but she didn’t get more than that.</p><p>“Miss Granger, you have to swear to me you will Obliviate him before he goes back.”</p><p>She was back to being Miss Granger now, Hermione thought.</p><p>“Swear it on your wand, Miss Granger. The world depends on Severus Snape’s obsession with Lily Potter. He cannot be distracted by another witch.”</p><p>Hermione sighed, but pulled out her wand. Why the Hell had her life become so bloody complicated again?</p><p>She placed her wand on her open palm and hovered her other hand above it.</p><p>“I swear to Obliviate Severus Snape before he goes back in time if I learn he loves me.”</p><p>Almost before the words had left her mouth, she felt magic swirling around her, the magical oath setting in.</p><p>“I don’t think it will come to that, though, Professor,” she added. “I admit there is… a mutual understanding, but I wouldn’t exactly call it love.”</p><p>“Hmm,” McGonagall said. “Let’s just hope you’re right. Messing with a brilliant mind like that doesn’t sit right with me, and Merlin knows we have meddled enough with Severus Snape’s life already.”</p><p>With that, Hermione had to agree.</p><p>The next second, the Headmistress lifted the Muffling Charm off Jonas and Severus, and they both had a curious look in their eyes. Hermione shook her head. She would tell Jonas later and Severus would have to be kept out of the loop, there was no way Hermione would tell him Professor McGonagall thought he loved her.</p><p>“Alright, there are two minutes left now,” the Headmistress said, motioning for them to approach her desk.</p><p>She placed a simple notebook on it.<br/>
Wordlessly Jonas, Hermione and Severus touched the book.</p><p>“Jonas, keep them safe, will you,” McGonagall said, looking the Potions Master in the eye.</p><p>“Of course I will,” he replied.</p><p>“And you two,” the Headmistress said, her eyes switching between Hermione and Severus. “Behave.”</p><p>“Yes, Professor,” they said in unison.</p><p>Sixty seconds passed in silence and then the three of them felt the tell-tale tug behind their belly-button. The port-key pushed them through space, and when their feet found the ground again, they looked around.</p><p> </p><p>They were standing on grass, mighty oak trees surrounding them. The sky was filled with gloomy clouds, but there was no rain coming out of them. There was a slight breeze, though, and they could see dead leaves bustling about. In the distance they heard a dog barking, and when they looked to their right, a man with a woman on his arm appeared from around a tree. Slowly they made their way down the gravel path and when they were in hearing-distance, they could hear them talking.</p><p>“Ik ben echt toe aan een goede kop koffie,” the woman said. </p><p>Severus and Hermione looked up at Jonas, whose lips were curled into a smile.</p><p>“Welcome to the Netherlands,” he said.</p><p>The young witch and wizard looked at each other. The thought of being in such an unknown little country was still sinking in. Unsurprisingly, Hermione was the first to speak.</p><p>“Jonas, where are we exactly?” she asked.</p><p>The Professor waited as the Dutch couple passed them. </p><p>“Goedemiddag,” the man said at which Jonas nodded.</p><p>When the man and woman were out of hearing-distance again, their dog following them closely now, Jonas answered. “We’re in Dwingeloo, a little town in the east of the Netherlands. From here it’s only a short walk to the wizarding community. Come.”</p><p>He started walking in the opposite direction the Dutch couple went, checking over his shoulder if his charges followed. They did, of course.</p><p>After a ten minutes walk through large oak trees, hills covered with marram and gravel pathways, Jonas stopped. </p><p>“We’re here,” he announced.</p><p>They were looking at a collection of some large boulders, placed like they were supposed to act like a table, four rounder ones with a big slab on top of them. It looked a bit like a small version of StoneHenge.</p><p>“The Muggles call this a Hunebed, I think they believe it came here during the Ice Age, but that’s bollocks of course. This is much like Diagon Alley. It’s the entrance to our community,” Jonas explained as he walked up to one of the rocks on the side. It was at least two meters high.</p><p>“Well, come on,” he said as he stepped through.</p><p>“Ladies first,” Severus said at which Hermione rolled her eyes. But she took a deep breath and followed her mentor through the boulder with a look of determination in her eyes.</p><p>When Severus stepped through he bumped into Hermione who stood nailed to the ground, her jaw slack in astonishment. Following her gaze, Severus felt his mouth fall open as well.</p><p>“This is the Low, or as the Dutch call it, the Lage!” Jonas declared, using that rasping sounding g, the Dutch were known for.</p><p>This was nothing like Diagon Alley. It was more like a natural Venice.<br/>
They were standing on a wooden platform which seemed to hover above water. Everywhere he looked, Severus saw people bustling about, apparently not minding that it was already nine in the evening. </p><p>To their right there was a large farmer’s market, people dealing in food, magical artifacts and animals. To their left, there was an Inn, called De Lekke Klomp. </p><p>Right in front of them, however, was a large lake, canals sprouting to left and right, but much to Severus’ surprise, and he suspected that this was why Hermione still hadn’t said a word, he saw no boats or canoes. The surface of the lake wasn’t empty, mind you, no it was, in fact, packed with witches and wizards, but they appeared to be walking on water! People, young and old and everything in between just wandered about like they would on normal ground. Some of them stopped to talk to others, others crossed the lake purposely and disappeared from view when they stepped on land again. Severus noticed some of the little islands were connected with wooden bridges.</p><p>“How do they do that?” Severus asked Jonas who was standing a few feet away from them, grinning like mad. It was clear he was happy to be home, and also that he was highly amused by his students’ amazement.</p><p>“See that little shack over there?” Jonas said as he pointed to a wooden hut at the edge of the platform. “There you can get your Water Clogs. They look like normal wooden clogs, except they let you walk on water. It’s a special Dutch design. About two centuries back, Muggle farmers would wear clogs when working on the fields, and the Netherlands happens to have a lot of water bodies. Wizard Hans Klomp the Third put two and two together and voilà, the Water Clogs were born.”</p><p>“When can we go and walk on water?” Severus asked.</p><p>“Tomorrow when we go to the Ministry. That’s around the corner over there,” Jonas said jutting his chin slightly to the left to indicate the location of said Ministry. “This wooden platform is accessible for all magical folks, so you can visit the market or have a drink at the Klomp. To get into the actual community you have to register at that little shack, cause that’s also where everyone lives. </p><p>“But first, we get you settled in at the Inn. I’ll be staying somewhere else, but I’ll be back tomorrow morning to pick you up.”</p><p>With that the Potions Master headed to De Lekke Klomp, leaving the students in his wake.<br/>
Mutely, Severus and Hermione followed him.</p><p>Inside the Inn, it was as packed as it had been outside. Everywhere you looked there were people talking, laughing and drinking beers.There were even some who were dancing.<br/>
Jonas steered his students to the far left of the common room and told them to wait while he checked them in.</p><p>Severus and Hermione watched the Dutch as they waited.</p><p>“Why do you think we never invented something like Water Clogs?” Hermione asked the boy.</p><p>He shrugged. “There was never a need for them?”</p><p>Hermione didn’t even seem to register his reply; she already went on. Evidently, she had used her silence before to come up with a million questions and observations.</p><p>“There is something familiar about this place, you know, the canals and the islands, I mean. I think I saw something like it in a Muggle book about Dutch geography.”</p><p>“It’s called Giethoorn,” the voice of Jonas said. The wizard had come back and held out to keys which Hermione and Severus accepted and pocketed. “The place you saw in the book, I mean.”</p><p>“What’s Giethoorn?” Severus asked. </p><p>“Giethoorn is a little Muggle village, similar to our community,” Jonas explained. “Muggles from all over the world come to visit Giethoorn, ‘cause they also have canals instead of normal roads, but they don’t know it’s actually copied from us. A squib thought it was funny to recreate our homes and put them in the Muggle world. Of course the muggles can’t walk on water, so they use boats to get anywhere.” </p><p>“Have you ever visited Giethoorn?” Hermione asked her mentor.</p><p>He shook his head. “No, and I’m not planning to. This here is all I need.”</p><p>“Now,” he continued, “you stay here for the night. Your rooms are upstairs. If you need anything come down here and ask for Mathilda, she’s the Inn’s Keeper. You can also Floo me, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t.”</p><p>“Can I ask why, Jonas?” Hermione asked. “Do you have to prepare our meeting?”</p><p>“Yes, you can ask, Hermione,” her mentor chuckled as his eyes lit up. “But no, I won’t be preparing our meeting. Actually, I’m going home to my wife who I haven’t seen since Christmas Break.”</p><p>“Awww, that’s so sweet!” Hermione gushed before she could help herself, but Jonas just smiled at her.</p><p>“Maybe I can arrange a meeting tomorrow after Severus gets back, if you’d like. I know my wife would like to meet my apprentice. She’s wondering what kind of person can handle my tutelage.”</p><p>Hermione grinned broadly. “I would love that, Jonas.”</p><p>“Alright then,” Jonas said cheerily, clapping his hands together. “Now, behave you two. I know I would be talking to a dead man's ears if I told you to stay in your rooms till the morning, so just be safe, okay? And don’t talk to anyone. While most people here don’t know about Britain’s history, I don’t want Severus to overhear anything that could hurt his future.”</p><p>Severus and Hermione shared a knowing look before nodding. Severus knew already way too much to be considered safe. They would most certainly not be staying in their rooms all night, thought, but they would try to behave themselves.<br/>
The fact that her mentor already assumed she wouldn’t listen to his directions made Hermione smile. The teacher even went so sar he handed them a few notes of paper money and a handful of coins. It looked a lot like the Muggle Pounds in England.</p><p>“This is the Euro, the currency over all of Europe,” Jonas told them. “The wizarding community decided it wasn’t worth the trouble to have our own currency because of the exchange course. You may use it to have a drink or two, but don’t overdo it. If you do, you deal with the repercussions yourself. I won’t be handing out Hangover Cures.”</p><p>The two nodded again.</p><p>“Goodnight then,” Jonas said. “I’ll pick you up at 8.”</p><p>“Goodnight Jonas,” Hermione replied.</p><p>“‘Night,” said Severus.”</p><p>Then Jonas said his goodbye’s to Mathilde, the Innkeeper and left.</p><p>Hermione turned to Severus.</p><p>“So, what are we going to do?” she asked, putting her hands on her hips.</p><p>“What do you suggest we do?” the boy asked in return.</p><p>“We’re in the Netherlands for one night,”Hermione said. “Let’s explore!”</p><p>Severus rolled his eyes at her, though Hermione noticed the corners of his lips curl upwards.</p><p>“Come on, then!” she said, grabbing his hand and pulling him outside.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I want to apologise to any Dutch person who feels offended by the clogs. I know it's a general misconception the Dutch still walk on those wooden shoes, but since the British wizarding world tends to be outdated, I thought it would be rather fitting if the Dutch wizards also had some parts of the country's old culture.</p><p>For anyone who wonders what the dutch lady with the dog said, she says she wants a good cup of coffee.</p><p>De Lekke Klomp, means the Leaky Clog.</p><p>And yes, Giethoorn is a real place in the Netherlands. I've never been there, but the images I've seen are stunning.<br/>Dwingeloo is also real, so are the Hunebeds.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter twenty-one - Stroopwafels and Chocomel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hermione and Severus have a little heart-to-heart.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay, I think this chapter needs a little warning. Don't worry nothing major or explicit is going to happen. It's just that I couldn't get it to be from one POV. I tried keeping Hermione's and Severus' POV separate, but it just wouldn't work, so there is a chance this chapter is a bit confusing. </p><p>My apologies, but I <em>do</em>  think it's better this way, because you get to see what's going on inside both their heads.</p><p>Please enjoy!</p><p>and as always,</p><p>Much love!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1> Chapter twenty-one - Stroopwafels and Chocomel</h1><p>The first thing they went to was the farmers market.<br/>
Severus let himself be dragged from left to right as Hermione seemed to be trying to visit all the little stands. One particular booth they both really like had nothing to do with the Dutch magical inventions and everything to do with a Dutch Muggle food invention, called Stroopwafels.<br/>
Even from a distance they got lured to the little stall by the sweet smell of syrup and thin crispy waffles. </p><p>“This is by far the most delicious treat I’ve ever eaten,” Hermione sighed when they were both nibbing on their own stroopwafel.</p><p>Severus had his mouth full with the warm biscuit and nodded in agreement. He had never eaten anything like it, and that was saying something cause the banquets at Hogwarts always had an amazing selection of treats.</p><p>Stroopwafel in hand, they wandered side by side between the little stalls, both pointing and commenting on anything that caught their eye. Hermione spent ten minutes trying to convince Severus to try on a pair of denim dungarees - the Dutch called them a <em>tuinbroek</em> - which at last the boy did, scowling the entire time of course. </p><p>“Oh you look great!” Hermione said in surprise when the wizard emerged from behind the curtain that closed off the changing booth. She had to bite back a laugh when she saw the wizard’s scowl.</p><p>Severus’ eyes turned hard. He had noticed she was fighting the urge to laugh, and he didn’t like anyone laughing at him. He was about to turn on his heels to change back, cursing at himself for letting himself be manipulated into wearing the bloody dungarees, but Hermione wouldn’t have any of that. Reaching out, she pulled him by the wrist to the mirror that was adhered to the side of the clothing stall.</p><p>“I’m not laughing at you, you know,” she said. “But I can’t help it when you keep glaring like that.”</p><p>Glowering some more at the contradiction in her words, Severus looked in the mirror.</p><p>“You look really handsome, dear,” the owner of the stall told him.</p><p>He felt his cheeks warm at the lady’s compliment and his eyes softened. After inspecting himself in the mirror, he had to agree he didn’t look half as bad as he’d expected.<br/>
The black denim fit nicely around his thin frame and didn’t make him look as skinny or bony as he’d thought it would. In fact, they made his shoulders look broader because the straps covered only part of his chest section, showing his white button-up shirt underneath. It emphasised his angular frame.</p><p>“You should buy them!” Hermione said excitedly as she let her eyes glide over the boy’s body. She couldn’t help but notice the denims made his arse stand out in a way voluminous robes never would.</p><p>“I can’t wear this. People would ask how I got it,” Severus protested in an attempt to hide the fact he rather liked how he looked in them. He was too busy studying his reflection to notice the witch’ blush as her gaze was still fixed on his backside.</p><p>“Just wait till you’re graduated. After Hogwarts you can wear whatever you like,” Hermione said.</p><p>Severus turned to look at her. “Jonas didn’t give us all those Euros to spend them on clothing.” </p><p>“I’ll pay him back,” Hermione said quickly, but Severus shook his head.</p><p>“You’re not buying me clothes, witch.” His brows furrowed.</p><p>“Then promise me you’ll buy a pair when you’re back, wizard” Hermione tried.</p><p>Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, a habit he had no idea where he had gotten it, before he disappeared behind the privacy curtain again to change back into his own clothes.</p><p>Hermione watched as the boy did an imitation of her mentor, the way he pinched his nose.</p><p>To the lady behind the stall she said, “Any chance you’ve got a branch in Britain?”</p><p>“Of course, my dear,” the vendor said. “We from de Lage are very internationally orientated. Just ask for Mister Klering when you’re in Hogsmeade. You know Hogsmeade?”</p><p>Hermione nodded to which the vendor gave her a warm smile.</p><p>“You are very lucky with such a sweet witch on your arm, my boy,” the lady said to Severus as she handed Hermione a yellow sticky note with an address. “And you, young lady, are very lucky with your handsome wizard.”</p><p>Both couldn’t get themselves to answer her, so they just nodded and turned to head back to the Inn. Feeling embarrassed, they walked back without saying a word.<br/>
Hermione didn’t want to think about Severus as her handsome wizard. He wasn’t some prized possession, and after all, in just a few hours they wouldn’t even see each other anymore.</p><p>Severus, on the other hand, was lost in thoughts because he had liked the sound of having Hermione on his arm in public. Sure, their relationship had its ups and downs, and the witch could be insufferable with all her questions, but overall he had to admit to himself he quite liked Hermione’s company. Even since the first two days they’d met he had thought she was brilliant, and it helped that she wasn’t hard to look at. Only after the ball, though, he’d been certain.<br/>
Although he didn’t like it much, he recognised this feeling.<br/>
He’d made a mistake with Lily, not telling her about his feelings for her, and when it had already been too late, he’d lashed out. With Hermione, he didn’t need to worry about being rejected. Of course it would hurt if she didn’t like him, but given the fact she still wanted to be with him despite him loving Lily, he kind of assumed she did like him. And if she didn’t, he would be gone anyway. </p><p>Hell, what was he thinking, ‘being with Hermione’? He would be gone in the morning, there was no question of being with her. He cursed himself for letting his emotions overwhelm him like this again. The past days had weakened him, made him feel like he could express himself like he wanted, like it was safe to open up.</p><p>And then there was her now ex-boyfriend, Ronald. Severus wasn’t the kind of wizard to steal another one’s witch, he knew how painful it could be to have a witch you fancied snatched away from right under your nose. Of course Hermione had already said that whatever it had been was over now, but still… Wasn’t she supposed to be sad about it for at least a little while before getting herself involved with him? Or was he just some rebound-guy to ease the pain while he was there. Again, he’d be gone within a few hours and then Hermione was free to do whatever her heart desired.</p><p>Thinking back, Severus started to doubt everything he’d seen and heard.</p><p>Even before the ball, Hermione had hardly talked about the ginger-headed wizard.<br/>
In his experience if a witch fancied a guy, she wouldn’t stop gushing about the bloke, at all. The Slytherin girls in his year could go on and on about their handsome conquest of the week, spilling way too much details on said conquest for the boys’ likings.<br/>
Hermione, however, hadn’t talked about Weasley at all. She’d mentioned him once when they had sorted out their sleeping arrangement, but that had been it. </p><p>Was there a chance it had never been that serious after all? Had she never felt that deeply about the Ronald bloke? But did she feel like that about him?</p><p>They’d never actually talked about whatever it was between them. They’d just gladly accepted one another’s company and physical affections. Were they a thing? Not that it mattered of course; in a few hours they wouldn’t be anything.</p><p>When they reached the Lekke Klomp, surprisingly Severus was the first to speak.</p><p>“Thanks for getting me to try those denims,” he said.</p><p>Hermione smiled at him. “Don’t worry about it.”</p><p>“Thanks anyway. Maybe someday I will buy a pair, and when I do, I’ll think about you.”</p><p>Oh no! Hermione thought. That wasn’t the plan. She just thought it would be nice to have the boy wearing some clothes he really seemed to like. Judging from the state of his robes he had worn when they’d first met, it wouldn’t hurt him to own a pair of sturdy dungarees. But if he were to think about her every time he would wear them…</p><p><em>No! This was exactly what the Headmistress warned me about! Shit!</em> </p><p>Well, as long as he would only think about her, it wouldn’t be that bad, would it? It wasn’t like thinking about her and falling in love with her were the same thing, right? No harm done then, she decided, more to reassure herself than anything.</p><p>Despite her inner turmoil, she said to Severus, “That’s sweet of you.”</p><p>The boy grinned at her and then did something even more surprising than speaking first.<br/>
Without thinking he grabbed her hand and placed it in the crook of his arm.</p><p>“Let me treat you to a drink before we part tomorrow,” he said as he led her inside. </p><p>Hermione didn’t know what to say, so she just nodded as she was led to a table in the far back of the café. The Inn was still packed with people, goblins and other magical beings. House Elves sped through them, carrying trays with drinks and finger food.”</p><p>“I’ll get us some drinks by the bar. What would you like?” Severus asked her.</p><p>“I’ll take whatever you take,” she replied, sitting down.</p><p>Two minutes later Severus appeared from the crowd, holding two steaming mugs.</p><p>“It’s Chocomel, some kind of Dutch hot cocoa, apparently,” he said, placing the drinks on the table. “Mathilda assured me everyone, child or adult, likes a good cup of Chocomel. It’s good for sleeping too, she said.”</p><p>“Thanks,” Hermione smiled, taking the mug between her hands. The warmth inside the Inn and even the thought of hot cocoa before bed made her feel sleepy already.</p><p>They both sat in comfortable silence for a while, observing the Dutch wizards and witches, as they sipped their drinks. </p><p>Relaxed by the warmth and the sweetness of her drink, Hermione let out a yawn. When she caught Severus staring at her, she quickly covered her open mouth with her hand, returning his gaze as their silence continued.</p><p>“What are you going to do with your research after I’m gone?” Severus asked after a while in an attempt to make conversation. </p><p>“I will continue working on that salt theory,” Hermione said. “It’s quite promising. </p><p>She noticed the boy was watching her, studying her face and her every movement. Feeling her cheeks redden under his scrutiny, she looked away.</p><p>A group of five young witches and three young wizards in the other corner of the common room was playing Spin the wand, a wizarding variation on the Muggle game Spin the bottle. The game required a special wand that could only be used in that particular game. Instead of kissing the person the tip pointed at, the spinner would pick up the wand and point it at the target. It was up to the wand to cast a kind of spell on the victim. If you were lucky it made you sing or dance for a minute, if you were less fortunate it would change the colour of your hair to bright pink, or vanish your trousers or something.<br/>
Well, nothing like spending Saturday evening messing around with your friends in public, right?</p><p>“Ever played it?” Hermione asked Severus, her eyes still focused on the group, which was laughing at one of the wizards. His ear lobes had been enlarged to the point they reached his shoulders.</p><p>Severus continued to look at her, but from the corner of her eye, Hermione saw his left eyebrow move. “Why would anyone want to play such a idiotic game?”</p><p>“You say idiotic, but your eyebrow just went up,” Hermione said.</p><p>“And?”</p><p>“You only do that when you’re amused,” Hermione pointed out. “Both of them, you’re irritated or angry, just that left one, you see something that amuses you.”</p><p>“I do no such thing,” Severus protested as his right eyebrow joined his left.</p><p>“See!” Hermione said triumphantly. “There’s the other one. You’re offended. No need to be, of course. I think it's adorable.”</p><p><em>What the Hell am I saying??! Stop it, Granger!</em> </p><p>It wasn’t as if she hadn’t complimented him like that before, especially over the course of the last four days, but given the news she’d received from McGonagall, Hermione knew she’d better shut up right about now.</p><p>Severus scoffed, though his eyebrows stayed in place. </p><p>“So,” Hermione continued, ignoring the boy’s glare. “Have you ever played Spin the wand?”</p><p>One of the other wizards got his trousers removed and carried on with the game in his pants. Nobody in the café seemed to mind. It was a wizarding establishment after all, they’d all seen a lot weirder things, and as both Hermione and Severus watched the group continue their game, Severus’ right eyebrow went back to its original spot.</p><p>“Have you?” Hermione pressed, not missing the eyebrow movement going on.</p><p>“You don’t have to get me to play some childish game to get me in my pants,” Severus muttered, referring to Potter and Black pantsing him in front of the entire student body.</p><p>Only when he saw Hermione flush and her eyes widen, he realised how his words could’ve been interpreted, and how obviously Hermione had interpreted them.</p><p>He felt his own cheeks redden as he tried to save himself. </p><p>“That’s… that’s not what I meant,” he stuttered, looking at a spot on the floor.</p><p>There were a few seconds of awkward silence.</p><p>“So you’re telling me I <em>do</em>  have to get you to play a game to have you undress for me?” Hermione then asked, hiding her smile behind her mug.</p><p>“No!” Severus said quickly, making Hermione grin even wider. It wasn’t his fault, though. There had been no good answer to her question.</p><p>Then he heard a chuckle coming from the witch on his right. He turned his head to be met with Hermione’s bright eyes. They were full of mirth.</p><p>“Relax, Severus!” she laughed. “I’m just kidding!”</p><p>The wizard let out a breath of relief. “Merlin, witch. You know how to get a wizard’s heart racing.” </p><p>He didn’t notice Hermione’s reaction to his words. He had now idea he had managed yet again to sound like he was flirting.</p><p>Hermione, however, choked on her Chocomel. Coughing like mad, she didn’t see Severus talking to one of the House Elves.</p><p>“Are you alright?” he asked her when her coughing had ceased. “I’ve got you a glass of water.”</p><p>“Thanks, Severus,” Hermione said, taking the glass from him. “That’s very thoughtful of you.” </p><p>“No problem,” the wizard said. “What happened?”</p><p>Now, Hermione wasn’t about to tell the boy she had choked on her drink because his words had made her feel a strange tingle in her chest, and after his comment on him being in his pants, maybe even in some lower parts of her body. </p><p>“It’s nothing, don’t worry,” she said, smiling at him to enforce her words. “It’s just the Chocomel. It went down the wrong pipe.”</p><p>Severus leaned closer, studying her face.</p><p>“You don’t like it? The drink?” he asked.</p><p>“No, no! The drink is fine, Severus,” Hermione assured him. “I love it. It just went down wrong.”</p><p>“Oh, right.”</p><p>There was a moment of silence again.</p><p>The group in the other corner had paused their game. Two of the girls were also down a couple of clothing articles, while all of the boys had very interesting looking features. Apart from the boy with long earlobes, one had earned himself lashes so long they reached his chin, and another wizard had blue eyebrows.</p><p>It was Hermione who broke the silence this time.</p><p>“Severus,” she began tentatively, looking at him, her tone instantly causing the wizard to be on guard. “What is this?”</p><p>Severus met her eyes, confusion clearly visible in his.</p><p>“What do you mean?” he asked a bit apprehensively.</p><p>“It’s just….” </p><p>She had to do a second take.</p><p>“It’s just that these past few days have been wonderful, but we’ve never really talked things over,” her words poured out of her mouth. “We never actually established anything, not that I mean we have to. I just-... Well, unless-... Anyway, I was wondering, is this… you know… What are we?”</p><p>Severus swallowed.</p><p>He was in full agreement over the fact of those wonderful four days, but it was true; they hadn’t talked about anything.</p><p>“What do you think we are?” he asked Hermione in an attempt to get her to name their relationship, so he wouldn’t have to do it himself. He didn’t feel comfortable assuming anything and much more preferred agreeing with whatever Hermione would call them, be it something positive of course. That way, he wouldn’t get rejected.</p><p>“Well,” the girl started hesitantly. “I mean, we like each other, right? And we hold hands, we kiss. We flirt. That’s… er…. something, right?</p><p>Accidentally on purpose focusing on the wrong things, more to protect himself than anything else, Severus opened his mouth to protest.</p><p>“I do not flirt,” he said indignantly.</p><p>Looking directly at Hermione, she gave him a funny look.</p><p>“Yes, you do,” she said. “Maybe you don’t always realise what effect your words can have, so you don’t do it on purpose, but you flirt, alright.”</p><p>Flirting? Well, that was most certainly not on purpose, indeed, Severus thought. He didn’t flirt, he just didn’t. He had watched and heard his classmates make cheesy innuendo’s, use pick-up lines, and just be plain rude, miming all kinds of sexual acts, all in attempts to flirt. He had never understood why a witch would fall for that kind of crap. </p><p>“I don’t flirt,” he repeated defensively, his brows drawn together.</p><p>Hermione noticed his defensive tone.</p><p>“It’s not a bad thing, you know,” she said. “Witches quite like it when a wizard flirts with them.”</p><p>One of Severus’ brows went up again.</p><p>“How would you feel if a witch complimented you, or just paid attention to you? When a wizard flirts with me, it makes me feel like I’m special,” Hermione explained with flushed cheeks, quickly adding, “not that it happens often, of course...”</p><p>Severus had to let that sink in for a moment. He had liked it when Hermione said he looked good in those denims. He thought back to the night of the fundraiser, when she’d plainly ogled him for a few beats and he had felt a certain warmth spread through his chest. Every time she had touched him since that day, he had felt a similar feeling.</p><p>o0o</p><p>Oh gods, what was she doing talking about flirting, saying it made her feel special? She had no business talking about things like that with Severus; McGonagall had made that very clear.<br/>
Why were they talking about these things now?? </p><p>Then again, perhaps this talk was rather overdue. </p><p>Severus Snape of all people made her heart beat faster, that he made her blush like crazy all the time, that she couldn’t keep herself from reaching out and touching his arm or hand.<br/>
Hadn’t the Headmistress said that if she even got an inkling of Severus having deeper emotions, she would have to take action into her own hands? </p><p>Mentally shaking her head, Hermione scolded herself. She knew exactly why she’d started this conversation, and her reasons weren’t one hundred percent selfless. Of course she wanted to know if she had to perform an Memory charm on Severus to save the wizarding world, but she also wanted to know just for her own confirmation. She was still human after all.</p><p>“So would you like it if I were to flirt with you?” Severus asked her after a moment where they’d both been lost in thought. His deep voice was completely even.</p><p>It was sexy.</p><p><em>Keep it together, Granger. Now is not the time for this. Or ever.</em> </p><p>When she looked up at him, she saw he wouldn’t look at her. If anything, she thought he looked embarrassed. </p><p>“Would you be disgusted if I said yes?” she asked in return.</p><p>Now Severus lifted his eyes off the floor and let them meet her brown ones.</p><p>“Why would I be disgusted by that?” he asked, sounding genuinely confused.</p><p>“Because I’m your tutor, but technically nineteen years younger than you and your former student,” Hermione said, feeling the blood in her cheeks rise again. She didn’t like thinking about those facts and hadn’t done so in a long time, but these were the facts. “We’ve also slept in the same bedroom for the past weeks.”</p><p>“If anything, that sounds like it should disgust <em>you</em>  if I flirted with you,” Severus grumbled.</p><p>Hermione continued to watch him. His usual collected expression was laced with an uneasy flicker in his eyes. <em>Not good</em> , Hermione thought, swearing inwardly. It was becoming quite clear she was supposed to Obliviate him, she had sworn a magical oath for Merlin’s sake. Not good at all.</p><p>Deciding she had to know for sure in order to ‘save the wizarding world’, she figured there was only one way of knowing: asking the boy himself.</p><p>“Severus,” she said softly, looking at him intently.</p><p>The boy shifted under her gaze. Not good.</p><p>“Hermione,” he said, his tone equally soft.</p><p>“Would you like it if I liked your flirting with me?” she inquired tentatively.</p><p>“I don’t flirt,” Severus responded promptly.</p><p>“Yes, but let’s say you would, would you want me to like it?” Hermione pushed.</p><p>“I don’t flirt.”</p><p>Gods, he was infuriating. How did he not get what she was trying to ask him. Maybe he does, but he just deflects, a small voice in the back of her mind said, but she shook that thought off.<br/>
Collecting all of her Gryffindor courage, she decided she should just come out and ask him head-on.</p><p>“Severus,” she asked. “Do you like me?”</p><p>Glittering black eyes pierced her brown orbs. Gods, it was like he was looking right through her soul.</p><p>“Of course I like you. We’re friends,” he said. </p><p>Deflecting it was, Hermione thought. If he was going back to this friends-thing, he wasn’t being honest with her. Even if he wasn’t experienced with love and lust, not even Severus could just brush their connection under the rug like that. He had to admit their relationship had evolved into something more than just a friendship. There was no way the awkward boy she’d got to know thought they were just friends-with-not-even-that-good-benefits.</p><p>“Severus, I know this is a bit awkward to ask you so directly, but I have to know if you have feelings for me. It’s about your future and the peace of the wizarding world,” she said gently, deciding to use the safety of the world rather than admitting to him and herself she actually wanted to know herself if he liked her.</p><p>o0o</p><p><em>Oh so she’s only asking because the world’s peace is at stake</em> , Severus thought. The notion hurt him more than he cared to admit, even to himself.</p><p>“What does it matter if I did?” he asked in an effort to deflect her interrogation.</p><p>He saw her eyes searching his face, but for what he didn’t know. She seemed to have some kind of inner struggle going on. Did she find the thought of him liking her that revolting? Then why the hell would she keep kissing him like she did the past days?</p><p>“You can’t have feelings for me, Severus,” Hermione said with a small voice.</p><p>“Because of the Ronald boy,” he more or less stated, already feeling defeated.</p><p>Severus watched Hermione’s eyebrows drawing together as she let her eyes fall to the table in front of them. </p><p>“No, I told you. That was over before it even began,” she said. “You can’t have feelings for me because you have to love Lily.”</p><p>Now it was the turn for Severus’ eyebrows to move, Hermione’s earlier conceptions be damned. He was not amused or irritated now, but both his brows shot up to his hairline. He was simply shocked.</p><p>They hadn’t talked about Lily since their misunderstanding four days earlier, both highly uncomfortable with the topic. Why was she bringing this up now?</p><p>“You know I do,” he replied stiffly, still looking directly at her. “What does that matter now? Do you know her or something?”</p><p>He watched her eyes shifting between his face and her own hands even if she wouldn’t meet his eyes.</p><p>o0o</p><p>“McGonagall told me about her,” Hermione said truthfully, while still stalling actually saying what needed to be said. She hated the fact she had to have this conversation. Who wouldn’t? She had to listen to the wizard she fancied talking about how he loved someone else. This was pure agony. If it wasn’t for the rational part of her brain, she would’ve just skipped over this entirely, like she’d done before. She knew of course Severus loved Lily, but they’d agreed not to let that affect their own bond. Not that it mattered now. McGonagall had made that very clear.</p><p>From the corner of her eye she saw Severus purse his lips into a thin line.</p><p>“So you don’t know her?” he asked.</p><p>She shook her head. “No, I’m afraid not.”</p><p>Looking up to meet his eyes, she saw pain displayed in them, though he tried to hide it when he saw her looking. It wasn’t quite the impenetrable expression he had worn as a Professor, but she could tell he would perfect his cold and expressionless mask in his near future.</p><p>“It’s okay to feel sad, you know,” she said, taking his hands in hers in an effort to comfort him.</p><p>The wizard kept silent, but he didn’t jerk away either.</p><p>“Tell me about her,” Hermione said softly. “From what I heard she is a special witch. Was she the one to get you to play the piano?”</p><p>Maybe it wasn’t the absolute truth, but it wasn’t a lie. She just knew a lot more than she let on. </p><p>From what she’d heard, Lily Potter had been a special witch. Harry had told her and Ron all kinds of stories about his mum once he had heard them from Sirius and Remus. However, they had never told him anything about the nature of the relationship between Lily and Severus, in fact they hadn’t even mentioned they’d been friends.</p><p>Studying his face, she saw Severus’ eyes soften a bit, though the rest of his features still didn’t display any emotion. He sighed but didn’t look away.</p><p>“We met when we were kids,” he said in an almost whisper. “I knew I loved her the instant we spoke, even as a little boy. And yes, it was her who got me to play the piano.”</p><p>Hermione squeezed his hand as encouragement to continue. She could hear the longing in his voice.</p><p>On one hand she wanted Severus to remember his love for Lily Potter, on the other hand she knew it was dangerous territory, talking about love with Severus. <em>Well, if I’m going to Obliviate him then I might as well learn a bit more background information,</em>  she decided, cursing at herself for sounding so Slytherin-like. <em>I guess he’s rubbing off on me... Rubbing off? Stop it, Hermione, get your head out of the gutter!</em> </p><p>“She’s a Muggleborn and didn’t know about magic, so I showed it to her. In return she showed me kindness. She was so excited when we got our letter,” he said as his dark eyes glittered in the candle light. “When we got to Hogwarts she got sorted into Gryffindor and I in Slytherin. We ended up in different circles, met different people.”</p><p>His tone went somber again, so Hermione gripped his hand more firmly.</p><p>“Then what happened?” she urged gently.</p><p>“I said something I shouldn’t have about two years ago,” Severus said. “We’re not exactly on talking terms anymore.”</p><p>Hermione frowned. If he said something bad two years ago they should’ve made up already, right? </p><p>“What do you mean?”she asked. “Did you not apologise?” </p><p>The second her words left her mouth, Severus yanked his hands back, shoving them in his pockets. On his forehead a deep crease appeared. </p><p>“Of course I apologised,” he spat. “In fact, I apologised over and over. She just didn’t accept it. Must have been Potter’s influence.”</p><p>So Lily and James had already been involved in their fifth year, Hermione counted back in her head. Then she shook that notion. There were more important things to focus on. One being the fact that Severus didn’t sound so sad anymore. Instead, she could see rage in his eyes when he said Harry’s last name, but how to turn that rage back into longing again, she didn’t know.</p><p>“So what are you going to do when you get back?” she asked, trying to change the intense topic. If the opportunity presented itself, she would come back to Lily later. Little did she know her question only fueled Severus’ resentment.</p><p>“I’m going to show her I’m more powerful than Potter, of course,” he said, his black eyes glittering dangerously.</p><p>She wanted to ask him how he was planning on doing that, but fortunately she caught herself in time. He was talking about taking the Mark. <em>He doesn’t have it yet, then.</em><br/>
So this was what had driven Severus Snape to become a Death Eater, his determination to show Harry’s dad he was better than him, devoting his life to Voldemort to win over a girl. No wonder Professor Snape had been so damn bitter. He’d probably still been mourning over Lily, who he had lost even before her death.</p><p>So his urge to be more powerful than James Potter was what had led to him becoming a Death Eater. But what had made him change sides? His love for Lily, McGonagall had said, but what did that even mean? Had she changed her mind before she died and had she been planning on leaving James? <em>Gods, why haven’t I ever asked Harry about all this</em> , Hermione thought.</p><p>“So you still love Lily?” she then asked hesitantly. She had to know for sure his heart was still beating for Harry’s mum, so she wouldn’t have to Obliviate Severus.</p><p>o0o</p><p>Severus had been in his own thoughts when he heard her question. Why did she ask? First she asked him if he liked her, now she was asking about Lily. <em>Merlin, those bloody witches, </em> he thought. Was this just a jealousy-thing? He’d already told Hermione he wanted her, had he not?</p><p>“Why does that matter so much?” he questioned, sounding harsher than he’d meant to.</p><p>Hermione seemed to struggle to formulate an answer to that, but what she ended up saying surprised him.</p><p>“‘Cause if you don’t, I have to ask you if you love me, and I don’t want to do that,” she said rather sharply.</p><p>What the hell was she on about? Why did it matter so much to her if he loved her or not? Was she really that jealous or was she just being nosy? Why couldn’t she just accept their bond without asking such difficult questions? Didn’t she understand it just wasn’t that simple?</p><p>She had already asked him directly if he had feelings for her, saying it was a matter of world peace, which he highly doubted by the way, but when she’d asked him to tell her about Lily, he’d thought she had forgotten about her initial question. Apparently not.</p><p>Wait a minute, hadn’t she said, ‘you have to love Lily’? Not that he didn't, he did of course, but what had his love to do with world peace?</p><p>It was time to ask some questions of his own.</p><p>“Why does the balance of the wizarding world depend on my love?” he asked Hermione, ignoring her question.</p><p>When she didn’t answer him, he reiterated his question.</p><p>Still no answer, though he saw her crossing her arms in a defensive matter.</p><p>“How can my loving someone affect the world that much it means the difference between war and peace?” he asked in exasperation.</p><p>He watched as Hermione unclench her fists and jaw before she opened her mouth.</p><p>“I can’t tell you,” she snapped. “You just have to love Lily Potter, and y-”</p><p>He cut her off before she could finish.</p><p>“Lily Potter?! She marries that bastard?!!” he felt his blood boil at the mere thought of it.</p><p>Hermione seemed to fold in on herself. Obviously she hadn’t meant to let that name slip out. When she recovered from that, however, she was equally upset.</p><p>“Yes, Lily Potter, she and James Potter will marry. In fact they’ll have a son together, who happens to be my best friend!” she shouted at him.</p><p>Several other patrons of the café turned their heads in their direction. The group that had played Spin the wand earlier had left a few minutes back. It was around midnight now, but there were still a lot of people.</p><p>Quickly Severus cast his Muffling Charm and a Notice-Me-Not charm around them, giving them some privacy.</p><p>“How do you know that? You said you didn’t know Lily!” he accused her.</p><p>If Hermione had been taken aback by his remark, she didn’t let it show. Instead she ignored it altogether, trying a different tactic.</p><p>“Just say you don’t love me, and I leave it alone,” she snarled.</p><p>“Why does it matter to you if I love you or not? Either way, I’ll be gone tomorrow,” Severus shot back. “Can’t you just let go of this?”</p><p>“Just say it!”</p><p>“Why?” he insisted.</p><p>“‘Cause if you do, I have to Obliviate you, you arse!” the witch shrieked.</p><p>Severus watched as her eyes widened in horror and her hand flew to her mouth.</p><p><em>“See what happens when you let your emotions get the better of you? You say things you shouldn’t say,” </em> Tom’s voice said in the back of his head. He hadn’t heard that voice in quite some time, but then again, he hadn’t been this emotional in quite some time, either.</p><p>He shook his head, willing the voice to disappear both mentally and physically.</p><p>“What do you mean Obliviate me?” he hissed to Hermione.</p><p>She didn’t look at him, letting her head fall in her hands. </p><p>“What do you mean, Granger?” he demanded. <em>What the hell is going on?</em> </p><p>“You can’t have feelings for me,” Hermione murmured from behind her hands.</p><p>“So you’ve said,” Severus said. “Why? And don’t say it’s because I have to love Lily,’ he added warningly.</p><p>During her inner struggle, Hermione seemed to make a decision because took a deep breath and when she looked up to meet his eyes again, he could see the determination lighting up those brown orbs.</p><p>“You can’t have feelings for me, ‘cause it might distract you from loving Lily. And that can’t happen if we want to keep the world like it is now, in peace,” she said, keeping her eyes on him while she spoke. “Headmistress McGonagall made me swear on my wand I would Obliviate you if I learned you had feelings for me.”</p><p>Bloody Merlin, how did his life get so complicated so fast? Obliviating him? Did Hermione know how to do that safely? He didn’t fancy losing his brain in the process.</p><p>“Why were you so nice to me then, agreeing to help me study, letting me stay in your rooms? Why urging me to play Never Have I Ever, asking me about trying to get in someone’s pants, about flirting?” he asked, trying very hard to keep his voice down, though he very much wanted to scream right now. “Why would you demand a dance with me, hold my hand, kiss me, if you don’t want that?”</p><p>“I didn’t know your love for Lily was a requirement for our peace,” Hermione said a bit defensively. “McGonagall only told me before we left for the Netherlands.”</p><p>“That doesn’t explain your drooling when I tried on those denims, don’t think I didn’t notice, or your asking about flirting,” Severus pointed out.</p><p>He watched her face closely as she tried to find her words.</p><p>“You looked good in those dungarees. Can you blame me for appreciating that? Is that so bad?”</p><p>“No, I suppose not. But that doesn’t explain asking me about flirting’ he replied. “And I’ll take your answer as a compliment. Thanks.”</p><p>He saw the corner of her lip quirk a bit.</p><p>“You’re welcome,” she said. “And I asked you about that because I wasn’t thinking properly. I was just interested in getting to know you a little better before you have to leave. But when I realised I shouldn’t have asked you about it, all I did was trying to make you think about Lily, I swear.”</p><p>Unconsciously, Severus arched an eyebrow. </p><p>“My love for Lily has nothing to do with the possibility of fancying you,” he stated. He sounded calmer than he felt. In fact, his heart was beating so fast, he thought the whole bloody Lekke Klom could hear.</p><p>“So you <em>do</em>  still love her?”</p><p>“Yes, I do,” Severus said slowly. “But you already knew that…”</p><p>“So I don’t have to Obliviate you?” Hermione asked. She sounded relieved already.</p><p>“I didn’t say that,” Severus helped her from that relief.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>Severus sighed and closed his eyes for a second.</p><p>“Has it ever occured to you that I can love Lily and have feelings for you at the same time?” he then asked. “Why else would I let you hold my hand, would I take your hand? Why else would I kiss you?”</p><p>Furrowing his brows, he watched Hermione’s face as her confusion disappeared and she began to blush profusely when the intent of his words dawned. He almost took pity on her. </p><p>“You <em>do</em>  love <em>me</em>  then?” Hermione asked quietly.</p><p>“Hermione, look at me,” Severus said softly. He was relieved when she did and didn’t seem to fight the urge to vomit.</p><p>He then took a page from the witch’s book, taking her hands in his. </p><p>“I’m only going to say this once, and only because tomorrow you’ll be free of me anyway,” he started, ignoring every inner voice that screamed at him to shut up. “I don’t know much about love and I certainly have barely any experience with it. All I know is that I think you’re a wonderful witch and I’m glad I’ve got to know you. How could I not? I thought it was quite clear after our misunderstanding?”</p><p>For a good few seconds he panicked. Hermione didn’t react, at all. She just stared at him, immobile and mute. A breath of relief escaped him when her eyes softened and her lips curled into a smile.</p><p>“I…” she hesitated. “I think you’re wonderful, too. And I am more than glad that I’ve got to know you.” </p><p>Hermione mumbled something inaudible as she leaned into his shoulder, resting her head on it.</p><p>They both revelled in each other’s company for a while, watching the other patrons drunkenly dance and talk, before Hermione’s head snapped back up.</p><p>“What is it?” Severus asked, alarmed.</p><p>“Severus,” Hermione started.</p><p>“Hermione,” he said.</p><p>When she opened and closed her mouth a few times without producing sound, he got a bit irritated. </p><p>“Get on with it, witch,” he snapped. <em>Why would she alarm me like that?</em> </p><p>“You have feelings for me,” the witch stated.</p><p>“Yes, I’m aware,” he responded in a dry tone to hide his awkwardness.</p><p>“That means I have to Obliviate you. I’ve sworn I would.”</p><p>Shit. How had he forgotten that so easily? These feelings kept him from thinking straight, he thought.</p><p>At the same time, a small voice in the back of his mind reminded him of the words Hermione had used when she told him about her Vow. Was having feelings for someone and loving someone the same thing? He hadn’t actually flat-out told her he loved her, had he? Fleetingly, he wondered what it meant Hermione simply assumed he did, after his admission? </p><p>He ignored the voice.</p><p>“Do you have to do it now?” he asked.</p><p>“I suppose not. I never specified when, only to do it before you go back in time.”</p><p>“Let’s do it tomorrow then,” he suggested. He wasn’t ready to give up this feeling of mutual affection. After Lily had ended their friendship no one had shown him this kind of affection, and even before that Lily’d never felt anything for him other than friendship. </p><p>“What do you mean?” Hermione asked.</p><p>“You never said when you would Obliviate me. You can do it tomorrow, right before I leave,” he explained, omitting the fact that he didn’t want to lose her already.</p><p>It seemed they weren’t on the same page, though.</p><p>“What difference does it make?” Hermione questioned. “I don’t like the idea of Obliviating you any more than I imagine you do, but I’d rather just get it over with.”</p><p>Severus studied her for a moment. Something in her eye told him she wasn’t telling him everything. Truth be told, he wasn’t either.<br/>
He decided to share his thoughts so she could do the same in return.</p><p>“I’m not ready to give this up yet,” he said. It came out so soft and low, he almost worried she hadn’t heard him. She had, though.</p><p>“If I don’t do it now, I fear I never will,” she replied with a small voice.  “And I don’t fancy the idea of living with an unfulfilled wand oath.”</p><p>He could understand that.<br/>
Unfulfilling a wand oath wasn’t as severe as an unfulfilled Unbreakable Vow, it wouldn’t kill you. It would make you feel like ants were crawling about under your skin, though, a bit like the pins and needles you felt after your leg fell asleep, but without ending. The only way to make it go away again was to have the person you swore to take over your torment by unfulfilling an oath of their own to you. You could dull the itching with potions and charms, but it would never go away completely, thus creating an endless loop of pin and needles, in one person or the other.<br/>
He absolutely didn’t want her to experience discomfort like that, but if only they could enjoy the knowledge of their liking each other for a little longer.</p><p>“I promise you I will get you to do it when the time comes,” he almost pleaded. “Just don’t Obliviate me now.”</p><p>They stared the other in the eye, searching for comfort, affection, confirmation.</p><p>“Alright,” Hermione conceded after a while. “I will wait.”</p><p>Relieved, Severus let out a sigh. It was at that moment Mathilda, the Innkeeper, decided to announce last call. It was 1 am, then.</p><p>Severus arched his eyebrow at Hermione as if asking what she wanted to do. It had been quite some time since they’d finished their Chocomel. </p><p>The girl shook her head. “Let’s turn in for the night. You have a long day ahead of you.”</p><p>He nodded in agreement, though he wasn’t looking forward to it, not after he had told Hermione he liked her and she had said the same about him.</p><p>Hermione seemed to sense his hesitance, since she took his hand as she stood, pulling him to his feet, and led him toward the stairs leading to their rooms. Passing the bar, they smiled at Mathilda, bidding her goodnight. The old lady waved cheerily back at them, smirking knowingly when she saw them walking hand in hand. </p><p>Severus smirked right back at her and his smirk grew even wider when he saw Hermione flush. He wasn’t even planning on doing what the InnKeeper was thinking about, but he thought Hermione’s blush was cute anyway.</p><p>When they got to Hermione’s room, they both halted. Severus’ room was further down the hall.</p><p>“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Hermione said shyly.</p><p>“I guess,” Severus replied in the same shy tone.</p><p>“Goodnight, Severus,” the witch said before she turned and held out her key to the door. Apparently it was a magical key because even before it touched the lock, the door seemed to recognise its magical signature and it swung open.</p><p>“Goodnight, Hermione,” Severus replied as she turned back to look at him.</p><p>They both didn’t move.</p><p>“I have to-” Hermione started hesitantly.</p><p>She got cut off by Severus, who reached out and caught her hand in his. His eyes never left hers as he pressed a soft kiss to the back of her hand.</p><p>“Goodnight,” he repeated, his heart trying to escape his chest.</p><p>Then he spun on his heels and walked away.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You know, barkeepers always see more than you think...</p><p> </p><p>Hints aside, I really love to read your takes on what you want to happen, what you think should happen or what you think is going to happen, so... if you're interested in sharing your thoughts with me, please do! You can use the comments or message me on tumblr @snape-the-hbp</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter twenty-two - Bloody perfect</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Who could refuse a beautiful young woman when she decides she wants you, all of you?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this. is. pure. smut.</p><p>no regrets.</p><p>Please enjoy!</p><p>and as always,</p><p>Much love!</p><p>ps: you can skip over it, if you want to...<br/>pps: I noticed I messed up again with my updates. The last chapter was meant to be posted today, but somewhere along the way it ended up being posted earlier, so yeah.... I guess you just get an extra chapter this time...?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter twenty-two - Bloody perfect</h1><p>“Severus Snape,” Hermione hissed under her breath. “You come back here this instance or so help me…”</p><p>Already halfway down the corridor, Severus froze. Quickly replaying the last minute in his head, he went over every possibility of what he could’ve done wrong. When he came up empty, he slowly turned to face Hermione, who was still standing in the doorway of her room.<br/>
His face impassive, he approached cautiously, but stopped a couple of feet away from her. He had no idea what would happen if he allowed himself to come any closer. It was for the best to keep his distance, he decided.</p><p>“Severus,” Hermione repeated his name, now softly. “Come here, will you?”</p><p>Their eyes locked, Severus complied and took the last steps towards her until he was right in front of her, their bodies practically touching. Up close, his nerves got the better of him and Severus dropped his head to look at the floor, though he still felt Hermione’s eyes on him as they stood there. </p><p>“Severus,” he heard his name again. “Look at me.”</p><p>Even before he could lift his head on his own volition, there was a soft hand under his chin which gently lifted his head to meet Hermione’s gaze.</p><p>“This night is the last one before we will never see each other again,” she said, smiling a little bit, though Severus suspected it was to hide her own nerves. “Will you join me, please?”</p><p>Severus couldn’t believe his ears.</p><p>Of course they’d slept many days together in the same room, but always in separate beds, even during the last couple of days. Now she wanted to sleep in the same bed? And that wasn’t the only thing she wanted, if the blazing look in her eyes was anything to go by. </p><p>Severus had seen many girls with that same look in their eyes, but never had such a look been directed at him. It had always been something reserved for the actually handsome boys, like Lucius or, admittedly, some of the Marauders. However, Hermione was now looking at <em>him</em> with that exact same expression and Severus found he rather liked being looked at like that. Or maybe it was because it was Hermione who was looking at him... Anyway, Severus would have to be a fool not to recognise it and he certainly was no fool.</p><p>Slowly nodding, he felt Hermione drop her hand from his chin, but before he could mourn the loss of her touch, her hand was on his and it was pulling him inside.</p><p>As soon as the door closed behind him, he found himself being pressed against the door with Hermione attaching her mouth to his, her hands tangled in his hair. He welcomed her kiss by parting his lips for her and immediately her tongue slipped inside. An embarrassing moan escaped him, but the sound got lost in their frantic kiss as Hermione swiped her tongue across his.  One of her hands left his head to place his own hands on her waist as she pressed herself even closer against him. If she came any closer, Severus thought she would have to climb inside of him, though he was pretty sure this kind of thing kind of worked the other way around.</p><p>Still not entirely comfortable with his body’s reaction to the girl’s attention, he tried to melt into the door, anything to keep his front from touching Hermione. She, however, seemed to know what he was trying to do, and she broke the kiss to whisper against his mouth, “We talked about this, and it’s okay. More than okay even.”</p><p>He gave out a whimper when she put action to her words by sliding her right hand from his shoulders, over his chest, down his stomach which tightened under her touch, till it came to rest on his crotch. Involuntarily, his knee jerked up, when Hermione’s hand came to rest on his covered erection, but she paid it no attention and kept fondling him through his trousers.</p><p>Feeling her eyes drill into his skull, Severus put his own hand on Hermione cheeks, pulling her into a deep kiss in an attempt to distract her. Of course, his action had the opposite effect, for Hermione’s grip only became stronger and Severus couldn’t help but gasp into her mouth.</p><p>“No, please,” he moaned as Hermione kept stroking his tented trousers. He’d already come in his pants once, and that one time had been embarrassing enough. </p><p>“Shhh,” she shushed. “Just relax. Let me do this for you.”</p><p>Going back to kissing him, she opened his trousers and pulled them down alongside his pants. When she took him in hand, Severus inhaled sharply, squeezing his eyes close at the feeling of her hand on him. </p><p>“Is this okay?” Hermione asked him in between her maddening kisses, to which Severus could only nod.</p><p>“I need to hear you say it, Severus,” she said, keeping her hand still. He could feel her eyes on him and opened his own to meet hers.</p><p>“Yes, please,” he whispered, knowing he was blushing profusely. “Please keep going.”</p><p>“Don’t worry, I will,” she told him before she put her lips to his again.</p><p>Living up to her words, she began to move her hand, making him feel like he was in Heaven. Not that Severus believed in such things, but this very moment could’ve made him rethink it.<br/>
But if he thought this handjob made his world spin already, he had another thing coming because after two minutes of panting into Hermione’s mouth as she continued to kiss him while simultaneously rubbing his length, she got to her knees.</p><p>Opening his eyes when she broke their kiss and her hand suddenly disappeared, he looked down to find Hermione gazing up at him, a fire in her brown orbs, he knew his own eyes reflected. </p><p>“Okay?” she checked again, and again, Severus couldn’t do anything but nod.</p><p>Taking him in her soft and warm hand again, she leaned closer and then his tip was engulfed in the warm and wet heat that was her mouth. A loud groan escaped his lips, as he fought to keep his eyes open, for he wanted to look at this beautiful young woman at his feet. None of the ladies Lucius had sent to him, had done anything like this. Of course he knew it was an option, having to listen to Lucius and other House mates brag about it all the time, but now he finally understood their enthusiasm about it. Before he’d just thought it probably wouldn’t be pleasant for the giver, given the fact men also peed from the very same tip, Hermione was now sucking and licking, but since she’d initiated it and seemed to enjoy it too, he certainly wasn’t going to stop her.</p><p>His eyes on hers, he could tell Hermione was, indeed, genuinely enjoying it. With much gusto, she licked from the underside of his erection to the tip before taking it into her mouth again and bobbing her head up and down, sending a blazing sensation through Severus veins.</p><p>Up until now, she had her free hand on his thigh to steady herself, but then that hand moved and came up to touch his balls. With his trousers in the way, though, she had to wiggle her fingers between him and the fabric, which was probably why she just gave up and waved her hand. Magic swirled around them as she wandlessly mumbled a spell to undress him, leaving Severus standing stark naked against the door. There was an odd moment of Hermione staring at the inside of his forearms, but soon Severus found himself unable to think about anything else than Hermione’s hands on him.</p><p>Satisfied with her own display of magic, Hermione continued her ministrations and her hand came back to his balls, rolling them around. When one of her fingers brushed a little further than probably intended, Severus’ knee jerked up again.</p><p>A mischievous look appeared in Hermione’s eyes, who’d correctly interpreted his reaction as one of pleasure. Pressing the tip of her finger against his perineum, she went back to her sucking and licking. Another one of his moans encouraged her to apply more pressure, causing Severus to no longer be able to keep his eyes open. His head fell back against the door as Hermione just kept going. The one finger between his cheeks was joined by another, both inching towards the spot not even Severus himself had deliberately touched.</p><p>His eyes flew open again when he realised what Hermione was about to do, and shocked he looked down at her.</p><p>“Still alright?” Hermione took a moment to take a breath.</p><p>“I guess so,” Severus breathed, his chest heaving, his skin sticky with sweat.</p><p>“Do you trust me?” </p><p>Severus nodded.</p><p>“Then just relax,” Hermione whispered before taking him between her lips again. She shifted on her knees and pulled out her wand. As she flicked it, Severus felt a tickling sensation going through the lower parts of his body, but he did trust her and just let her keep going.</p><p>Then her fingers were back between his cheeks and they caressed his entrance. </p><p>Severus was sure he had never felt anything like it, but Merlin, was it exquisite. Never had he thought could that area of his body give so much pleasure. Hermione proved it could, though, as her fingers massaged him to open op to her. At first it felt a little weird and there was a bit of pressure as she pushed inside, but whatever spell she’d cast had made him slick somehow, and Hermione’s finger was met with little resistance.</p><p>Her mouth never left his cock as she pressed the tip of one of her fingers inside of him, sending millions of delicious tingles up his spine.</p><p>“Ah Hermione!” he moaned as that finger slowly twisted its way in. “Please, don’t stop.”</p><p>He got a moan from her as a response and the vibrations of it almost sent him over the edge. Apparently sensing he was close, Hermione slowed the movement of her tongue, though she did keep a good part of him deep in her mouth. She also didn’t pull back her finger from his body. In fact, she only pressed in further in, paying attention to every little reaction he gave her.</p><p>Being reduced to a whimpering mess, Severus felt like he could cry because of how good everything felt. It was almost too much for the poor teenager, but it wasn’t until Hermione’s finger hit a particular spot inside his body, he hit his limit.</p><p>“Oh!” he moaned loudly, his legs violently trembling. “Aaah Hermione!”</p><p>His length was aching, so hard was he as he shot his load into Hermione’s welcoming mouth, her finger still brushing against that spot inside him. His eyes rolled back into his head and for a moment Severus was sure he was going to faint. He didn’t though, for which he was grateful, ‘cause in that moment, he was experiencing pure bliss.</p><p>When it was over, Severus had to put in all of his effort not to slump forward. Fortunately, Hermione came up and steadied him with a kiss. Too tired to protest, he lazily kissed her back, tasting himself on her tongue. The taste wasn’t even that bad on itself, but with Hermione moaning as their mouths moved together, sharing what was left of his release, Severus thought it was the sexiest thing.</p><p>“Thank you,” he breathed against her lips, when she pulled back.</p><p>“My pleasure,” she smiled at him. “Join me in bed?”</p><p>Nodding for the nth time that night, Severus followed Hermione to the queen-sized bed that took up most of the space of the room.</p><p>He hadn’t even noticed his surroundings until then, too occupied with the amazing witch who was now undressing till she wore the same amount of clothing as he was, which was none.</p><p>Still feeling a bit shaky from his strong orgasm, Severus couldn’t do anything but just stand still and look at Hermione’s body, his jaw slack.</p><p>“See anything you like?” she grinned over her shoulder before beckoning him to come closer.</p><p>As if in trance, he complied, his legs doing the work on their own.<br/>
When he stood in front of her, he couldn’t stop staring, but when he realised how rude it was to do that, he quickly dropped his eyes.</p><p>A hand under his chin and soft spoken words from Hermione told him it was okay and he placidly allowed her to pull him into bed with her. Resting on his elbows, with Hermione under him, he gazed into her hooded eyes, still burning with passion.</p><p>“Kiss me, Severus,” Hermione said.</p><p>Lowering his head, he did, but this time their kiss was the complete opposite from before. Instead of frantic snogging, their tongues licked and swiped playfully against the other. Even so, their languid movements made both of them moan, especially when Hermione pulled Severus to lie on top of her. Taking one of her hands, she placed them on her breasts. </p><p>“Touch me, please.”</p><p>She didn’t have to tell him twice, and Severus began to slowly knead her soft breast. Her peach skin felt perfectly under his touch and Severus longed to find out if it tasted good too.</p><p>“Go ahead,” Hermione told him, having guessed his train of thought.</p><p>Giving her another peck on the lips, Severus slid down her body, licking and kissing down her jaw, to her throat. He didn’t linger for long, desperate to reach the area below.<br/>
When he reached it, he first focused on the right side, placing a tender kiss on the hardened nipple. A moan from above him told him Hermione liked it, and encouraged by it, he flicked out his tongue and licked around the nub, wetting her dark pink areola. </p><p>Though not surprised at all, Severus was delighted to find Hermione did taste good. Her warm and smooth skin was almost sweet as he kissed and lapped at her breasts, alternating between left and right, while Hermione was moaning the entire time.</p><p>Feeling bold and wanting to return the favour, Severus paused for a bit to meet Hermione’s eyes. Apparently his question was visible in his eyes because she nodded and threaded her fingers through his hair as she gently pushed him further down her body.</p><p>She parted her legs for him and Severus came eye to, well not eye, with Hermione’s most intimate spot. It was glistening already, and after another nod from her, Severus lowered his head again and pressed his lips against her nether ones.</p><p>He felt a bit out of sorts, not having done this before, but as soon as his lips touched her, he heard a whimper followed by an order to not stop, which made him smile before going back in. This time he used his tongue to touch Hermione, swiping it up from her entrance to her clit, eliciting another moan from her. She tasted absolutely magnificent.</p><p>“Oh Severus,” she sighed. “That’s amazing.”</p><p>Not wanting to disappoint her, Severus prodded her bundle of nerves with his tongue a few times, before sucking on it, making Hermione keen in pleasure. Her hands tightened in his hair, keeping him in place. Severus didn’t mind. He had no other place he wanted to be right now.</p><p>Sucking a little harder, the pitch of Hermione’s moans went up and Severus’ chest filled with pride he could do that to a witch. Even just the sound of Hermione’s pleasure, aroused him to no end and he was sporting an aching erection once again.</p><p>He reached down to take himself in hand, careful not to waver in his attention to Hermione. </p><p>“Let me hear you, Hermione,” he whispered against her folds. “You sound so good.”</p><p>“Touch me,” was all he got as an answer, followed by a loud moan as he obliged.</p><p>With his free hand, he tickled Hermione’s sodden entrance, but it was Hermione herself who lifted her hips and pressed down on Severus’ finger. </p><p>They moan simultaneously as Severus’ pointer finger shot its way into Hermione’s heat.</p><p>Mimicking Hermione’s earlier ministrations on him, Severus twisted his finger in and out Hermione’s body, listening closely to her sounds. When he brushed against a particular squishy spot, he knew he’d hit the special spot used to light women on fire from the inside out. However, even if he hadn’t recognised it, Hermione’s loud keening told him everything he needed to know.</p><p>“One more,” she panted, to which Severus happily complied.</p><p>As he continued to suck on her clit, he moved a second finger inside her, making sure to brush against that special spot everything he pulled his fingers back. Hermione’s moan went up another pitch and Severus knew she was close. Letting go of his length, he switched tactics.</p><p>He pulled out his fingers and used them to hold her open. With his other hand he traced circles on Hermione's bud, knowing that alone could be pleasurable enough for an orgasm. Then he went in for the kill, lowering his head again and plunging his tongue inside her heat. </p><p>“Severus!!!” Hermione cried out, her inner muscles clenching forcefully around his tongue, her nub pulsing against his fingers. Her sweet nectar painted his face and hand and Severus happily drank from the source.</p><p>Grinning against her folds, Severus pulled his hand back from her clit to hold her legs open, though his tongue never stopped moving as Hermione shuddered through her climax.</p><p>When she stopped trembling, Severus gave her nether lips one quick kiss as a parting gift, before crawling back to lie next to her.</p><p>“Was that any good?” he asked shyly. “I’ve never actually-...”</p><p>“Good?” Hermione responded before he could finish his sentence, still panting. “That was bloody perfect.”</p><p>A big smile appeared on Severus’ face, but before that could fully register with him, Hermione pulled him closer, her own essence transfering from him to her as their faces met in a tender kiss.</p><p>“You’re hard again,” she commented as she probably felt his arousal pressed against her.</p><p>Severus flushed.</p><p>“Sorry?” he offered, not knowing what to say to that.</p><p>“Don’t be sorry, silly,” Hermione smiled at him, kissing him again.</p><p>Their sweet kiss quickly turned into a heated one again and soon their tongues were dancing around each other once more.</p><p>“Take me, Severus,” Hermoine breathed into his mouth in between kisses. “Please, take me.”</p><p>Eagerly nodding, Severus let himself be pushed on his back, Hermione’s tongue probing his mouth again. He gazed up at the incredible witch straddling his thighs, his length pressed between them</p><p>“Are you sure?” Hermione asked, pulling back just enough to ask her question.</p><p>“What about-...” His words got lost and Severus started moaning when she took him in hand again.</p><p>“Muggle pill,” she smiled at him.</p><p>Then she gave him a few tugs before lifting her hips and sliding over his erection, getting her sweet juice all over him.</p><p>“Ready?” she asked him one last time.</p><p>“Ready when you are,” Severus said, staring into her eyes, knowing his own matched her fiery heat.</p><p>He felt his eyes roll back into his skull as Hermione placed his head to her entrance before slowly sinking down. Breathing hard, he struggled to keep his eyes on her as he felt himself being welcomed into Hermione’s tight opening.</p><p>He groaned loudly as he bottomed out, Hermione’s moan arousing him even further.</p><p>Placing his hands on her hips, it was Hermione who began moving first, but soon Severus met her on every single thrust. It took a while to get to a steady rhythm they were both comfortable with, but when they got there, they were both rewarded with another moan from the other.</p><p>Just the sight of Hermione bouncing on his cock alone, could’ve set him off, but the way she clenched around him, made him close to losing his mind. If he hadn’t come already that night, he was sure he would’ve lost control upon entering her.</p><p>But even just looking at her, Severus knew he would’ve given a limb to experience this kind of bliss. </p><p>Hermione was a true goddess.</p><p>Her wild manes bounced around her shoulders every down thrust, and the way she threw her head back every time he hit that special spot inside her, did indescribable things to him. She had one of her hands on his chest to steady herself and was using the other one to rub herself in tandem with their movement. </p><p>Closing his eyes, Severus tried to focus on just the feeling of being inside her, lest he lose himself too soon, the image of Hermione riding him too arousing. Even if he hadn’t done anything else than straightforward shagging with Lucius’ ladies, he knew it wasn’t just a courtesy to make sure the girl came before him; there was a reward as well.</p><p>Luckily for him, Hermione wasn’t that far away from her peak. He could tell because her motions grew more frantic every thrust and soon she was bucking against him without abandon.<br/>
Her inner muscles gripped him almost painfully as she went over the edge, and when she just kept coming, her already tight channel getting even tighter, he followed her into the abyss.<br/>
Pumping his hips upward, he drove himself in and out of her body again and again, howling his pleasure upon his own release. </p><p>
  <em>Bloody perfect, indeed.</em>
</p><p>A good fifteen minutes later, their breaths had steadied and Hermione had cast a cleaning spell upon the both of them. With her head on his chest and his arm encircling her, he slowly stroked her side. He had no idea what time it was, and he could’ve just used a spell to figure it out, but he found he couldn’t care less. He just Summoned his wand into his hand, charming it to wake them in the morning.</p><p>Kissing the top of Hermione’s head, he whispered “Goodnight” into her curls, careful not to wake her.</p><p>“You know,” her, albeit sleepy, voice surprised him. “I’ve become rather used to sleeping with you in the same room.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>FINA-fucking-LLY</p><p>that's all I needed to say...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter twenty-three - the Department of Magical Artefacts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"I want you to Obliviate me now"</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Things get serious now. I wrote this months ago and my heart still aches. </p><p>Let me know what you think in the comments,</p><p>and as always,</p><p>Much love! :)</p><p>ps: there's quite a bit of dutch in this one. all translations can be found in the end notes.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter twenty-three - the Department of Magical Artefacts</h1><p>At 8am sharp, Jonas appeared from the mass of people and walked right up to the Inn. </p><p>“Severus, Hermione, how was your stay?” he asked cheerily at the sight of his students all dressed up in their formal robes.</p><p>He noticed the glance they shared as his apprentice flushed and the boy arched an eyebrow. Hermione mumbled something about stroopwafels, but otherwise she kept uncharacteristically silent.</p><p>Inside, she wanted to shout from the rooftops, but naturally she didn’t. It wouldn’t do to yell at the Dutch she’d shagged her brains out just hours earlier.</p><p>She didn’t even know what had possessed her to approach Severus like that, though she was more than a little pleased with herself he’d welcomed her attentions almost immediately before returning the favour with even more vigour. Granted, she’d been the instigator that night in the Room of Requirement as well, but that wasn’t remotely comparable with what they’d done this time.</p><p>If it was because she hadn’t been intimate with anyone in years, not since that quick tryst with the terribly handsome Muggle boy six houses down the street back in the Summer between her fifth and sixth year, or because she just couldn’t help herself where Severus was involved, she didn’t know. Her only knowledge consisted of the fact it had been mind-blowing. It wasn’t even as though she had much experience with sex, but she knew this had been special. Even after taking just one look at Severus, she’d known she was in for a wild ride.</p><p>Whereas Viktor and she had never gone past third base, with Connor, the Muggle boy, she’d only had the typical wham-bam-thank-you-maam sort of encounter. Both those times had been initiated by the males and it had been nice, but especially after this time, Hermione knew for sure she had to take the matters into her own hands to take things from nice to absolutely amazing. And indeed, it had, Hermione thought rather proudly. It seemed reading all those ‘informational books’ and the ‘romantic novels’ Ginny’d made her read, had finally paid off.</p><p>Of course, she wasn’t going to tell Jonas any of that, so she just kept her head down.</p><p>“Well,” Jonas said, “I hope you’re in for a little field trip. It’s supposed to be a rare sunny day and I fancy a bit of a walk in the early morning.”</p><p>The duo nodded, their eyes cast downward.</p><p>“Let’s get you registered then,” Jonas said, clapping his hands together. “In a minute you’ll be wearing Water Clogs like real Dutchies!”</p><p>He turned and started off in the direction of the little shack on the edge of the wooden platform. A look over his shoulder told him Hermione and Severus followed, but the girl didn’t talk as much as usual. In fact, she kept completely silent. </p><p>In line for registration, he took his time studying the two. Hermione seemed a bit off, she had dark circles under her eyes like she hadn’t slept, but though her skin was almost as pale as the boy’s standard pallour, she seemed to be glowing. On one hand, she looked truly at ease, but on the other hand, she seemed a bit twitchy, on edge. </p><p>Severus, on the other hand, was even paler than usual. There weren’t dark bags under his eyes, but those dark tunnels were a bit less intense than usual. He looked exhausted.<br/>
But the strangest thing, Jonas noticed, was the absence of the permanent scowl on the boy’s face. Instead, he seemed to be frowning, not glaring, and Jonas thought there was even a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Though upon closer inspection, it didn’t seem like a positive smile. It looked more like a melancholic, sad one. </p><p>Of course Jonas had some ideas of what could cause the two of them to look like that, but he didn't want to assume things. He would ask Hermione later, when the boy would be back to his own time.</p><p>“Ja?” it sounded impatient from the clerk behind the counter when it was their turn.</p><p>“Goedemorgen,” Jonas greeted him. “Ik ben hier met twee studenten van Zweinstein. We hebben een afspraak op het Ministerie.”</p><p>The clerk’s eyes slid from Jonas to Severus and Hermione and back to Jonas. “En u bent?”</p><p>“Jonas Bergen, Meester der Toverdranken aan Zweinstein, burger van de Lage ” Jonas replied calmly.</p><p>The Dutch clerk asked some more questions which Jonas answered patiently before handing over his identification papers. The clerk waved his wand over the paper and after seeing something that apparently satisfied him, handed the Professor two visitor badges.</p><p>“Die moeten ze dragen totdat ze hun klompen weer inleveren bij terugkomst. Je weet hoe het werkt,” the clerk said before waving them off. He had other patrons to serve.</p><p>Jonas stepped aside and turned to the students. The look on their faces told him they hadn’t understood a single word from the exchange with the clerk.</p><p>“Here,” Jonas said, giving them the badges. “Pin those on your robes. Wait here, I’ll get you your Clogs.”</p><p>He waited till the two nodded before he went to the side of the shack where a slender young man handed out the Water Clogs. His puffy round face revealed he could be no older than seventeen.</p><p>“Twee paar Klompen, alsjeblieft,” Jonas said to the boy. “Ze zijn voor hen.” He pointed at Severus and Hermione who showed the boy their badges.</p><p>The boy nodded and waved his wand. From behind him two pairs of Clogs flew through the window and landed on the counter top.</p><p>“Alstublieft, meneer,” the boy said.</p><p>“Dankje,” said Jonas, taking the clogs and walking back to his charges.</p><p>As he explained to them how the Clogs worked, Hermione’s enthusiasm returned and even Severus seemed to enjoy this new experience.</p><p>“Alright,” Jonas said. “Now put them on, and let the Clogs do the work for you.”</p><p>While the students put on their Clogs, Hermione asked. “Why don’t you have to put on a set of Clogs?”</p><p>“Because I’m a citizen of the Low,” Jonas answered. “I can conjure my own Clogs. Well, it’s not as much as conjuring, more like summoning. When I step on the lake, my Clogs will automatically adhere to my person. You’ll see in a second.”</p><p>Standing on the edge of the platform, the students looked around. Left and right, people were stepping off the platform like getting on a train, nobody seemed to be as flabbergasted as they were.</p><p>Jonas understood and said, “It’s just like walking on normal ground. Perhaps it’s a bit spongy.”</p><p>Taking the lead, he took a step and suddenly a pair of clogs appeared from thin air, encasing his leather dress shoes. He was standing on the lake.</p><p>“See?”</p><p>He waited patiently as Severus and Hermione shared a look.</p><p>“Ladies first,” the boy said, but Hermione rolled her eyes and shook her head.</p><p>“No, we’ll go together,” she said, taking the boy’s hand in hers.</p><p>That gesture didn’t surprise Jonas. Hermione was always rather tactile. What did surprise him was the fact that the boy didn’t jerk away, in fact, he seemed to revel in the touch, letting out a relieved sigh, brushing his thumb over the back of the girl’s hand.</p><p>Hand in hand, the duo stepped on the lake and to Jonas’ joy, they reacted just like any other visitor of the Dutch wizarding community. They let go of the other’s hand, walking back and forth, jumping in place, stomping their feet on the surface.</p><p>“When you are done molesting the water under your feet, I can give you a small tour around the neighbourhood before we’re expected at the Ministry,” Jonas chuckled.</p><p>The two nodded eagerly and followed the teacher.</p><p>He showed them the Dutch wizarding homes, shopping streets, an elementary school and even a Muggle football field. </p><p>The two of them were so in awe of the Dutch society, the only sounds coming from them were little gasps or sighs. Even Hermione didn’t ask any questions, too busy trying to take everything in.</p><p>Jonas didn’t fail to notice that as they lingered behind a bit, they had joined hands again. They were walking side by side, pointing at things that caught their attention. It made him smile. Their touch seemed to relax the both of them.</p><p>
  <em>Pity it won’t last.</em>
</p><p>On their way back to the core of the community, the students were still not talking. Whatever had transpired between the two of them the night before, it was obviously still affecting them. Jonas just hoped whatever it was, it hadn’t anything to do with a certain Memory charm, though he knew that hope to be vain. Deciding to distract them, he waited for them to catch up.</p><p>“You two have been awfully quiet till now,” he said after the duo had reached him. “What do you think of my hometown?”</p><p>He noted the two shared a look, but no comment was made. However, their silence didn’t last for much longer and his diversion proved rather successful, for Hermione instantly let loose of all her questions she had been piling up. The boy kept silent, of course.</p><p>“It’s beautiful, Jonas,” Hermione said in awe. “How did I not know you were from such a beautiful place?”</p><p>Jonas chuckled. “Hogwarts isn’t that bad.”</p><p>“No, but Hogwarts is only the British school,” Hermione argued. “The Low is more than that. You said it was the wizarding community. How come everything magical is centered here? Why don’t the Dutch witches and wizards live scattered across the Netherlands, like we do in Britain? ”</p><p>Jonas nodded as he listened to his apprentice. As always she asked some good questions. Curious to find out what the boy thought of the Low, he asked him his opinion before answering Hermione.</p><p>The boy shrugged. “I like the fact people don’t have to live among Muggles. Everything is in reach, it’s a very closed off community, very safe.”</p><p>“Muggles aren’t anything bad or to be feared,” Hermione countered before Jonas could react. “What about Muggleborn witches and wizards? Do they have to leave their families? I think it’s odd to be cut off of the rest of the world like this. No offense, Jonas.”</p><p>Again, before Jonas could respond, Severus opened his mouth.</p><p>“Say that to my father,” he spat. “Ugly piece of a Muggle. The rest of the neighbourhood is just as bad.”</p><p>Frowning, Jonas decided to wait for Hermione’s reaction. As long as they kept it relatively civil, it wasn’t a fight he saw necessary to intervene yet. He was far too curious to see where things would go.</p><p>“I’m sorry your father isn’t a kind man, but he’s no reason to judge all other Muggles,” Hermione said. “I know for a fact that Lily is a Muggleborn, so even you have to admit they’re not all bad.”</p><p>Severus’ face turned nearly murderous, and Jonas was halfway to shutting them both up with a Silencing charm before things got out of hand, but Hermione seemed to sense the risk of causing a scene as well, because she grabbed the boy’s hand with a apologetic look in her eyes.</p><p>“I didn’t mean to mention Lily like that,” she said softly. “I’m sorry. I just don’t think Muggles are as bad as you say they are.”</p><p>Once more, Severus surprised Jonas, ‘cause he didn’t pull away, and though his eyes still displayed a certain level of anger, they weren’t deadly anymore. Hermione’s touch seemed to have a calming effect on him.</p><p>“Maybe it’s time we let this subject rest for a while, agreed?” Jonas offered to lighten the mood. “There’s twenty minutes till our appointment with Minister Van Maanen. We’d better get there early.”</p><p>He watched his students both nod before he led them across the lake to the Ministry of Magic.</p><p>o0o</p><p>Severus couldn’t decide if he was having the best day of his life or the worst.<br/>
On one hand, he was walking hand in hand with someone who had said they had feelings for him, after one of the most amazing nights of his life, if not the most. They hadn’t talked about it afterwards, but for Severus holding hands was more than enough. To him it said, Hermione didn’t think of it as a mistake.</p><p>It was also more than he could ever have wished for from Lily, so he wasn’t about to complain now. He didn’t even know what kind of feelings he felt for this witch holding his hand. He knew he loved Lily, but did he also love Hermione? He hadn’t actually said so the night before, opting to deflect instead.</p><p>
  <em>It doesn’t matter if I love her. I won’t remember fancying her  even one bit.</em>
</p><p>But that was precisely the problem; in just a few hours he wouldn’t even remember holding hands with Hermione, let alone the joy he felt during that moment, or any other moment spent with her. In a few hours he would be back to his own time, where he would be chased by his tormentors, Potter and Black, ignored by Lily, and pushed till and far beyond both his physical and mental limits by Tom and Lucius.<br/>
He didn’t want to go back, now even less than when he first got to 1999. What he did want was Hermione’s attention, maybe even her love.</p><p>
  <em>Fuck, I do love her, do I?</em>
</p><p>Of course he did, and he’d known for some time now. He even knew there was a difference between his love for Lily and his love for Hermione. He just didn’t want to admit it to himself, not before, and certainly not after what he’d learned only a few hours earlier. It was a matter of self-preservation. Once he’d admit his love for Hermione to himself, it would become real. Not doing so, gave him the opportunity to just ignore it altogether and just go along with whatever Hermione offered him.</p><p>He was glad Hermione didn’t feel the need to talk during their walk to the Ministry, either. He wasn’t sure what he would say if she had wanted to converse. On the off chance he wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut, and profess his love for her, scaring her away during those last hours with her, he decided that it was better to not say anything at all.</p><p>“We’re here,” Jonas’ voice said, pulling Severus from his inner mullings.</p><p>“I’ll just go and announce our presence,” the Professor said before walking off to presumably a visitors help desk.</p><p>Dropping Hermione’s hand, Severus said nothing as he looked around the atrium they were standing in. In contrast to the British Ministry the Dutch atrium was bright and joyful, not a dark stone or tile in sight. Instead the Dutch had opted for white walls and a light wooden floor, in every little corner there was some kind of plant or statue. There were high windows on every side of the building, letting in loads of natural light. The paintings on the wall were not the stern portraits which hung at the British walls, but they were colourful, portraying joyful events such as birthday parties and galas. They were not only moving paintings, Severus noted, there were Muggle photos as well. On the left of the atrium split into several corridors, all leading up to different departments. Off to the right there was a small version of the farmers market outside of the Low, on the wooden platform. The smell of caramel and biscuits told Severus at least one of those stalls sold the delicious stroopwafels they had the night before.</p><p>Stealing a glance at Hermione, he saw the girl was busy taking in the atrium as well. The way the light from the windows hit her chestnut-brown curls was breathtaking, the little smile tucked in the corner of her mouth combined with the way her eyes lit up, adorable. The way she lifted her little nose in the air as she caught the scent of the stroopwafels almost got him smiling. If Severus didn’t know any better, he’d sworn someone had spiked his morning pumpkin juice with Amortentia. </p><p>When Hermione saw him looking, she blushed slightly, using her right hand to tuck a loose curl behind her ear. </p><p>“What?” she asked him, her smile still in place.</p><p>“Nothing,” he said, unable to keep the corners of his lips curl into a smile any longer.</p><p>“Severus Snape,” Hermione said in a mock-gasp. “Are you smiling?”</p><p>His smile turned into a lopsided grin. “I guess I am.”</p><p>“Good,” the girl said.</p><p>“Why?” he asked her.</p><p>The witch took his hand again.</p><p>“Because I like your smile,” she simply said before her smile disappeared from her face. Her brown eyes turned serious and she dropped his hand like he had burned her.</p><p>“What?” Severus asked, slightly alarmed.</p><p>“I just don’t like the fact that I will never see your smile again after today,” Hermione sighed. “When do you reckon it’s best for me to Obliviate you?”</p><p>Severus’ own smile vanished as well as he felt the blood thumping in his head. Resenting the thought of forgetting his feelings for Hermione was one thing, but having his memories messed with was something he actually feared. Though he trusted Hermione to do a good job, he couldn’t help but feel scared she would screw something up.</p><p>Memory charms were one of the most difficult branches of magic known, and he didn’t like the prospect of losing even an inch of his intelligence. It was all he had. Without his brain he wouldn’t be able to read or study like he did, and he still had to sit for his NEWTS. And apart from that, he doubted Tom and Lucius would be as invested in him as they had been up until now, if he lost his ability to think properly.</p><p>“As soon as we get the time-turner,” he answered her question. When they got the damn thing, he didn’t want to wait till the last second. If it were him and he had to perform at the last possible moment, he would be way too nervous to perform the spell the right way. It was best to do it a bit before he would actually be sent back.</p><p>Luckily Hermione agreed. </p><p>No other words were exchanged while they waited till Jonas came back. They were both running in circles in their own head.</p><p>When Jonas returned he held out two new visitor badges, which they stuck next to their other ones.</p><p>“Come, follow me,” the Potions Master said, heading off into the corridor that was labeled <em>Departement voor Magische Artefacten en Objecten</em>. </p><p>“Department of Magical Artefacts and Objects,” Jonas translated a bit redundant, but with good intentions. </p><p>They made their way down the corridor which made a few turns. Severus felt like he was walking all across the country before they reached their destination.</p><p>“Neem plaats,” a female clerk said without looking up from her paperwork as they entered the waiting room. “Er komt zo iemand bij u.” She scribbled away with a large brown quill without waiting for them to be seated.</p><p>“Pleasant, those Dutchies,” Hermione remarked dryly, earning a snort from Severus, but an admonished look from her Professor.</p><p>“All Dutch learn English from a young age,” Jonas said. “Be careful when you make comments like that. They’re perfectly capable of understanding every single word you say.”</p><p>Seeing Hermione starting to blush profusely, Severus had to fight the urge to let out a laugh.</p><p>“Still, they’re not exactly the warmest bunch, are they?” Hermione muttered.</p><p>“We consider ourselves to be direct and straight to the point,” Jonas said, sounding offended. “Why bother with pleasantries when you can save everyone a lot of time by not beating around the bush first? It was the first thing I had to get used to in France and Britain. You’re all so damn polite all the time!”</p><p>The Professor’s honest statement made both Hermione and Severus laugh, causing Jonas to lift one of his sand-coloured eyebrows before he allowed a grin to seep into his expression as well.</p><p>Their moment of laughter got broken up, when a small witch entered the room. She looked a bit like McGonagall, with her silver hair drawn back into a tight knot and her face stern. The only difference was the fact that this Dutch witch was probably even shorter than Hermione, and <em>she</em> was just 5’3. She had also a bit more flesh on her bones than the strict Scot at Hogwarts.</p><p>“Meester Bergen,” she said, shaking Jonas’ hand without even a glance in Severus and Hermione’s direction. Severus thought he heard a muttered though very distinct ‘Verdomme’ coming from the Dutchman. “Volg mij.”</p><p>She led them into a small office a few feet back down the hallway. After taking a seat behind the wooden desk, she invited Jonas to sit down as well; she didn’t seem to even notice his charges.<br/>
Jonas obliged with a polite incline of his head, but after taking a seat in one of the wooden chairs, he took his wand and conjured a third, an exact replica of the other two. When he was done, he didn’t pocket his wand, though. Instead he sat back in his chair, his right leg over the other, balancing his wand on top of his knee.</p><p>“My students don’t like standing,” he explained to Janszen as he motioned for them to take a seat. As they complied, Hermione in the middle, Severus on her right, they shared a curious look. </p><p>“Master Bergen, I have to admit I was surprised to see you on my calendar,” Janszen said, switching to English and indeed not beating around the bush. “I was under the impression you had left the Low and France in favour of our neighbours overseas. Your students are British, I take it?”</p><p>If Jonas was surprised at the rudeness of the witch in front of him, Severus thought he did a good job of hiding it. There was no trace of impatience of annoyance in his voice as he replied, in fact he kept his tone perfectly even.</p><p>“Mistress Janszen,” he said calmly. “I have to admit I’m surprised to see you at all. I was under the impression I had an appointment with Minister Van Maanen himself. He is held back, I take it?”</p><p>Severus bit his tongue to keep from laughing. <em>That man has got some balls. I wonder how he would interact with Tom.</em></p><p>Janszen was clearly not impressed with Jonas’ reaction, for she pursed her lips together in a thin line and a deep crease appeared on her forehead.</p><p>“Yes, Minister Van Maanen couldn’t make it,” she said. “Being the Minister of Magic, he had more important business to attend to.”</p><p>“But of course,” Jonas said in the same even tone he’d used before, tracing circles on his knee with his wand.</p><p>Severus turned his head slightly to look at Hermione. Obviously, the witch was holding back her own laughter, ‘cause he could tell she was biting the inside of her cheek, which was a bit pink on the outside.</p><p>“Do tell, Master Bergen,” Janszen continued as if she hadn’t been interrupted. “What is the reason for your visit?”</p><p>“Please, as I’ve said before, Petra” Jonas said. “Call me Jonas. Why keep up with those pesky titles? We’re both experienced Potions Masters after all.”</p><p>So they were colleagues, Severus thought. Why the hostility then? Some experiment gone wrong? Project stolen? No, he didn’t think Jonas was the type of guy to plagiarize a colleague.<br/>
He did have some nerve, though, to speak in such a blunt manner, Severus thought.</p><p>“Yes, we are, Master Bergen,” Petra Janszen responded, emphasising his title. “But in this setting I am an employee of the Ministry, not your equal, and you’d do best to remember that.”</p><p>Severus clenched his jaw in order to keep his mouth from falling wide open. What a pretentious bitch. To Jonas’ credit, he didn’t even sigh, or pinch the bridge of his nose like he would’ve had it been any other person. </p><p>“Now, tell me why you’re here, so I can move on with my life,” Janszen demanded. “I don’t have all day, you know. Some of us still have to do research instead of living a cosy teacher life.”</p><p>So that’s why Janszen was being so stuck-up, Severus thought. She was jealous.</p><p>While being a Muggle teacher wasn’t much, being a wizarding one was a great honour, since you’d be the only one in the country at that post. It was a big responsibility to teach every kid in the country, and not an easy one for sure, taking into account the fact that those kids had to learn safely how to use a wooden stick which could also be used to kill and maim.<br/>
Being a potions Professor came with even more responsibilities because of the added danger of exploding cauldrons and poisonous ingredients. Jonas had to be one of the greatest Potions Masters alive for being Hogwarts’ Master, let alone his magical skill in other fields.<br/>
Janszen, on the other hand, was stuck behind a desk full of paperwork all day, stamping and filling out forms, just like the witches and wizards in the next twenty offices. She was expendable; no wonder she envied Jonas.</p><p>Jonas still didn’t seem phased, though.</p><p>“I have requested a meeting with Van Maanen because I want to use a rather rare magical artefact,” he said. “It concerns a sensitive matter, an experiment if you will.”</p><p>“What kind of artefact?”</p><p>“A time-turner,” Jonas answered.</p><p>That seemed to get Janszen’ attention. Time-turners were indeed rare artefacts. In the wrong hands they could do a lot of damage, so it had to be one hell of an experiment if the Minister himself had agreed to lend one to the Professor.</p><p>“Why do you need it?” she asked.</p><p>“I’m not at liberty to say,” Jonas said, leaving out the fact that Van Maanen didn’t know either. He nonchalantly twirled his wand between his fingers. To Severus, he seemed both bored and amused at the same time.</p><p>Janszen crossed her arms. “Well, if you want one, you’re going to have to tell me.”</p><p>“Shit,” Severus heard Hermione mutter beside him, but with one glance of her mentor, she abruptly shut her mouth. </p><p>Severus himself could do a little victory dance, really. If this stuck-up witch denied them the use of a time-turner, it would mean he would get to stay a little longer.<br/>
But of course Jonas didn’t back down so easily.</p><p>“The Minister himself has already agreed to lend me a time-turner,” he stated, keeping his composure. “I’m afraid I don’t need your approval. The only thing I need from you is to hand over the thing.”</p><p>Oh, Severus could tell the witch didn’t like that. She actually glared daggers at the Professor. </p><p>
  <em>Really professional.</em>
</p><p>“Seeing I’m, indeed, the only thing standing in between completing this little experiment of yours and flunking it altogether, I would choose to give up my reasons, Bergen,” Janszen said, throwing all pretense out of the window. It was more than evident the Masters had some history. “In fact, I advise you to tell. Unless, of course, you already expect to fail with your experiment, and you don’t want me sharing your fail with the rest of the Masters.”</p><p>Severus didn’t fail to notice Jonas gripped his wand a bit firmer. The witch on the other side of the desk had noted his movement as well because she placed her own wand on the desk. It was a warning.</p><p>o0o</p><p><em>Gods, what a bitch. </em>This Petra Janszen made Hermione think of a cross-over between McGonagall and Umbridge. The Headmistress’ shorter look-alike had nothing of McGonagall’s warmth, but her attitude and behaviour screamed Dolores I’m-a-bitch Umbridge.<br/>
Only the fact that Jonas stood his ground against this toad quite impressively, kept her from putting the rude witch in her place herself. Who did she think she was, talking to her mentor like that? </p><p>“Miss Granger,” Jonas said without looking at her, ignoring Janszen’s comment for now. “Take the boy and get a stroopwafel. I’ll meet you back at the stall.”</p><p>When she didn’t move, he looked at her.</p><p>“Go,” he urged, his voice letting no room for arguing.</p><p>Quickly Hermione got to her feet, nodding when Severus followed suit. For two seconds, she shared a knowing look with her mentor before she grabbed Severus by the wrist and swept out of the office.</p><p>“What was that all about?” Hermione asked as they returned to the atrium.</p><p>“It’s quite obvious, is it not?” Severus responded.</p><p>Hermione looked at him, a confused look on his face.</p><p>“That woman is insanely jealous of your mentor,” the boy said as if nothing could be any clearer.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Hermione questioned. </p><p>While they made their way to the stroopwafel stall, Severus explained his observations and conclusion.</p><p>“Do you think Jonas will win her over?” he asked when they were sitting at a little bench opposite of the stall, both enjoying their freshly baked goods. Severus had gone with the normal stroopwafel, but Hermione herself had chosen something called “kruimels” which was basically a little paper bag filled with stroopwafel bits and pieces without the caramel.</p><p>Hermione tilted her head left to right as she thought about it, popping another crumb into her mouth. </p><p>“He will get the time-turner,” she then said. “I’m sure Jonas can handle that witch.”</p><p>She didn’t fail to notice the look of disappointment on Severus’ face.</p><p>“Want to try a crumb?” she said in an attempt to distract him.</p><p>He shook his head, swallowing the last bit of his wafel. </p><p>“So what now?” he asked her instead as he kept his eyes trained on the wafel vendor. The man expertly flipped and turned his wafels using a short metal spatula, which looked like a putty-knife.</p><p>Hermione used this moment to study him for a while. It didn’t come as a surprise to her that he seemed sad. He was set to leave in less than two hours after all, and she didn’t need him to voice his thoughts to know he absolutely hated that fact.<br/>
His brow was furrowed, but not in his usual way. He didn’t glare or scowl, it was just a frown, which combined with the look in his eyes and the way the corner of his lips curled downward, made him look like he was grieving. She supposed in a way, he was. Not a person, but the thought of losing his peaceful life in 1999.</p><p>“I don’t know,” she answered truthfully. She had now idea if there was any protocol for Obliviating your lover, which she realised Severus officially was after last night.</p><p>Severus seemed to accept that answer, or maybe he didn’t but he had resolved to not knowing the full truth.</p><p>With his eyes still on the stroopwafel stall, he mumbled something Hermione couldn’t make out.</p><p>“What?” she asked him.</p><p>“I want you to Obliviate me now,” he repeated his words but now loud enough to hear.</p><p>“Excuse me?” Her words escaped her lips before she could help herself.</p><p>“I want you to Obliviate me now,” Severus reiterated, still not looking at her.</p><p>“Why?” she asked.</p><p>“Does it matter?” he countered. “Just do it!”</p><p>“You want me to Obliviate you in the middle of a foreign Ministry?” She knew he didn’t, but it was just an attempt to stall. She had made her peace with the prospect of having to perform the Obliviation charm on someone she cared about to save them yet again, but they had agreed to wait till the last second. This was not the last second; Jonas wasn’t even back yet.</p><p>“We’ll just go to an alcove or something,” Severus said. “I just don’t want to wait any longer.”</p><p>“Why?” she asked. “When I said the same yesterday, you said you wanted to wait.”</p><p>She got no answer, so she repeated her question.</p><p>“Because this is killing me!” Severus snapped, finally meeting her eyes as he got to his feet. “I can’t sit and wait any longer. I feel like a pig for slaughter. Just get it over with.”</p><p>Hermione quickly cast a Privacy charm around them and yanked him back on the bench with her.</p><p>“We had agreed to wait,” she said, holding on to his wrist.</p><p>“I know what we agreed to,” Severus said rather heatedly as he pulled his hand free. “But now I’m asking you to do it this instant instead.”</p><p>“No,” Hermione said. “I’m not ready yet.”</p><p>“Don’t you get it, witch?” Severus put his hands in front of him, palms up, in an exasperated gesture. “I will never be ready. I just want to be done with it.”</p><p>Hermione stared at him. This emotional Severus wasn’t something she was used to. Even the night before when he had professed his feelings for her, he had worn a rather stony expression.</p><p>“Alright,” she conceded after a full minute of staring at each other. “I guess we have to find a niche then.”</p><p>Severus nodded as she stood and lifted the Privacy charm.</p><p>“I think I saw a suitable spot on our way back here,” she said as she headed back into the corridor which ultimately led to the Department of Magical Artefacts. Severus followed mutely.</p><p>When they reached the alcove, they stepped aside and Hermione put up a new sound barrier together with a Notice-Me-Not charm. Busying herself with the task, she willed her tears to stay put in their conducts instead of rolling down her face. It would not do to let her emotions control her, especially not now. She had a spell to perform and she didn't know what she would do if she messed up.</p><p>“This is it then,” she said as she looked up to meet Severus’ eye.</p><p>There was a little moment of silence before he answered.</p><p>“It’s not goodbye yet. I just won’t remember how I feel about you.”</p><p>“Then it’s goodbye to those feelings."</p><p>His eyes dark as always, he nodded once. "Right."</p><p>Another silence.</p><p>Hermione swallowed. Of all the things she thought she would do during the year after the war, it wasn't this, but here she was, wand in hand, Severus Snape a feet away from her, Memory charm at the ready. Focusing on those black orbs staring at her, she tried not to think about the last time she'd performed that very spell on someone she cared about. While the situation had been different, she felt just as miserable for having to cast the charm again. In <em>that</em> instance, she'd done it to protect her parents; despite the fact it had killed her to do it, it had been to protect them. She'd done it out of love. </p><p>Now, she wasn't sure why she was doing this because it sure as hell wasn't love. It was nothing more than self-preservation and even just the thought of it made her feel sick. If she were to follow her heart now, she wouldn't be able to go through with it, she knew that much. The only reason she knew she would do it, wasn't even because of her naturally rational brain, but because of that stupid Oath she'd taken under duress. If it were up to her, she would just let things play out and see what happened, the safety of the wizarding world be damned. Manipulating Severus' mind in the most literal sense possible was probably one of the top three things she was going to hate the most of all things she'd done in her entire life.  It just wasn't right.</p><p>Her hand feeling like lead, she lifted her wand and put the tip to Severus’ temple. </p><p>“Ready?” she asked.</p><p>He nodded stiffly, his brows drawn together and his lips pursed into a thin line.</p><p>“Relax,” Hermione instructed, forcing her voice to stay calm, to not start trembling. “Try to clear your mind. It’ll go easier.”</p><p>She waited a few beats to give him the chance to relax. When she saw that wasn’t going to happen, not physically at least, she smiled reassuringly at him. Her inner self was screaming at her to stop this, to find another way out, to ignore the Oath she took and just run off with Severus. They could find a way to counter the consequences of an unfulfilled Oath together. Berating herself for wishing things so foolish, she reigned in her maddening thoughts. Her eyes on Severus', she blinked once, trying to convey everything she couldn't with words. </p><p>He bowed his head a bit, no longer peering down his nose at her, meeting her gaze directly instead.</p><p>“I’ll miss you,” he said, while his expression stayed the same. “You’re the one good thing that happened to me in the last few years.”</p><p>There was nothing in his face that told he meant it. The only thing that betrayed his feelings at that moment was his voice which sounded hoarse, almost like a pained whisper, causing Hermione’s heart to break into a million pieces. </p><p>“I won’t forget,” she whispered back.</p><p>Standing on her tippy-toes, she planted a soft kiss on both his cheeks before capturing his lips with her own as she felt a blush creeping onto her own cheeks. When she pulled back, Severus’ face had a pink hue as well, but his dark eyes still glittered with determination.</p><p>Time stood still as they shared one last meaningful look, but as Hermione readied herself and Severus opened his mouth at the same moment, time seemed to speed up again and everything came crashing down. </p><p>“I love y-” he started.</p><p>“<em>Obliviate.</em>”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So there it is. The spell has been cast.</p><p>Find out next week what the repercussion are!</p><p> </p><p>Dutch - English translations:</p><p>"Yes" it sounded impatient.</p><p>"Goodmorning," Jonas greeted. "I'm escorting two students of Hogwarts. We've got an appointment at the Minstery."</p><p>"And you are?"</p><p>"Jonas Bergen, Potions Master of Hogwarts, citizen of the Low."</p><p>The clerk handed the Professor two visitor badges.</p><p>"They have to wear those until they hand back their Clogs when they get back. You know the deal."</p><p>"Two pairs of Clogs, please," Jonas said. "They're for them."</p><p>"Here you go, sir," the boy said.</p><p>"Thanks," said Jonas.</p><p>[..]</p><p>"Take a seat," a female clerk said. "Someone will be with you shortly."</p><p>"Master Bergen," she said. "Follow me."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter twenty-four - the Present is a Gift</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"He offered his hand for a handshake, but Hermione didn’t go for it. Instead she leaped forward and crashed into him, putting her arms around his body, giving him a tight hug."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Do you see a pattern here? I do. And it certainly does not have anything to do with the fact i'm terrible at coming up with proper summaries. It does not.</p>
<p>Also, I want to apologise for this chapter in advance. You'll find out the reason soon enough.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter twenty-four - the Present is a Gift</h1>
<p>
  <em>He said he loved you.</em>
</p>
<p>Those five words kept spinning around Hermione’s head as she stared Severus in the eye.<br/>His eyes were glassy, unfocused, her wand tip pressed against his temple. Physically, he was still as tense as before, but Hermione knew that mentally his memories were rearranging inside his mind, some of them vanishing, others replacing the voids the first ones left behind. </p>
<p>Hermione had only agreed to Obliviating Severus, but she couldn’t get herself to do just that. Maybe it was her Gryffindor stubbornness, but she liked to think it was a bit of human decency that made her do this, because instead of just making the boy forget his feelings for her, she went a step further. Or perhaps it was a step backwards, she couldn’t really decide. Nonetheless, it was a dangerous thing to mess with someone’s brain, and given the fact that any trace of affection or love could ruin the peaceful world as they knew it, made this risk a zillion times bigger. But at that moment, Hermione didn’t care.</p>
<p>She had heard him say it.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I love y-”</em>
</p>
<p>And those two and a half words had caused her to switch paths. Yes, she still obliterated Severus’ love and affection for her from his brain, but she kept something else. She told herself it was a matter of self-preservation, even though that particular reason made her a lot more Slytherin than she cared to admit. Who knew what would happen when Severus’ mind caught up with reality and he found himself in a dark alcove with a wand pressed against his head. <em>Yes, that would go over well.</em></p>
<p>And it was because of the fear of Severus lashing out, she'd changed her plans. At least that’s what she told herself. It was because of this and only this reason that Hermione erased the love and affection, but not the sense of trust. The fact that she knew Severus found it hard to trust anybody, but apparently had trusted her enough to alter his memories, she hadn't taken into account. She had not. She hadn't done it just because she'd wanted him to have someone to trust, or because something inside her wanted to hold on to those three words he had uttered at the last possible moment. No, that was not it. Definitely not.</p>
<p>When she saw Severus’ eyes return to their piercing glare, she knew the spell was completed. </p>
<p>“How are you feeling?” she asked him softly.</p>
<p>“Get your wand from my person,” the response came.</p>
<p>
  <em>Guess I was successful.</em>
</p>
<p>She pocketed her wand, but didn’t stop asking questions. She had to know what memories were still there.</p>
<p>“How does your head feel?” she questioned.</p>
<p>“It’s fine,” he groused. “It seems like you’ve successfully removed my headache. Are you happy now? I still don’t see why I couldn’t have gotten a simple potion from a medi-witch.”</p>
<p>Inwardly, Hermione sighed. She had been successful indeed. </p>
<p>“Let’s just get back to the atrium and wait for Jonas,” she said as she lifted her Privacy charms and stepped back into the corridor.</p>
<p>Of course Jonas took that exact moment to exit Janszen’s office down the hallway. He nodded to the witch who didn’t come out of her office and then started in the direction of the entrance hall. Pinching the bridge of his nose as he walked, he didn’t see his charges who stood mutely side by side.</p>
<p>“Jonas,” Hermione said to pull him from his thoughts.</p>
<p>Her mentor looked up, his eyes flitting from left to right. For a split-second there was a look of confusion on his face, but then his brain seemed to register her voice and he recognised Hermione and Severus standing only three meters away from him.</p>
<p>“Staying out of trouble?” he asked, eyeing Hermione suspiciously.</p>
<p>“Jonas,” Hermione chided. “Don’t keep us waiting like that! How did it go? Do you have the time-turner or not?”</p>
<p>o0o</p>
<p>
  <em>Nou dat ging lekker...</em>
</p>
<p>Muttering under his breath he made his way to the atrium to return to his students, when a voice caught his attention. Looking up he saw Hermione and Severus standing next to a dark niche, their faces betraying what they’d been up to; Hermione’s eyes had a sheen of unshed tears in them, her brows furrowed. She was sad. Severus, however, didn’t appear to notice the state of sorrow his tutor was in. The scowl that had been absent earlier that morning had returned in its full glory. Seeing his piercing black eyes and the way his lips were drawn into a cruel thin line, Jonas could see how this boy would grow to be one of the scariest teachers at Hogwarts.</p>
<p>“Staying out of trouble?” he asked, already knowing the answer.</p>
<p>However, Hermione wouldn’t let herself be distracted from the main objective and she immediately asked about the time-turner. Or maybe she was just a bit on edge because of her latest actions. Jonas, on the other hand, wouldn’t let himself be distracted either.</p>
<p>“Have you succeeded in what Minerva told you to do?” he asked in return, glancing at the boy. He didn’t even seem to be paying attention, studying his nails on his left hand instead.</p>
<p>Jonas saw Hermione biting her lower lip and he knew enough. No point in pushing the matter.</p>
<p>“Alright,” he said approvingly. “You did good. Now, let’s go to the Experiment Vaults. There we can use the time-turner.”</p>
<p>“So you got Janszen to agree?” Hermione exclaimed as they walked to the Vaults, apparently forgetting her distress from three seconds ago. “That’s great!” and turning to Severus she said, “Severus, you finally get to go back to your own time! Isn’t that great!”</p>
<p>Jonas didn’t miss the tone in her voice as she spoke to the boy. It was unnaturally high and overly cheery, not to mention the double use of the word ‘great’. As her mentor, Jonas knew the girl knew a lot more words than just ‘great’. But being her mentor, he also knew Hermione had always been a terrible liar if she didn’t fully stand behind the reasons of her lies.<br/>Severus didn’t seem to notice, though, or maybe he did, but he didn’t let it show in his features. In fact, he was still awfully rigid, honouring his given name in full. He walked with his spine straight, hands clasped in the small of his back, taking long strides, his face unreadable. It was almost worse than he had been when he first got to 1999. </p>
<p>Of course Jonas had noticed the changes in Severus’ behaviour as the days of his visit progressed, but now that those changes were gone, it was even more obvious exactly how much Hermione had affected him. <em>Good thing he’s leaving then.</em></p>
<p>o0o</p>
<p>Severus was walking in between Hermione and the Professor as they turned left to a corridor which was labeled with Experimentenkluizen. Most of the times they did this walk-and-talk thing he walked on the witch’s right and the Professor on her left, but this time it seemed as if Jonas had deliberately put him in between the two of them. He also kept glancing at him as though he was checking he hadn’t taken off or something. </p>
<p>When they reached the only door on the hallway, and after Jonas had opened it, Severus stepped inside, Hermione and the Professor close behind.</p>
<p>“Wait here,” Jonas told them as he went to announce their presence at the help desk on the left of the space.</p>
<p>Not unclasping his hands, Severus let his eyes roam around the room, taking in everything from the sad fake swiss cheese plant next to the help desk to the witch and wizard on the right who were discussing something rather heatedly but with hushed voices. The witch looked like she was in her late seventies, the wizard was absolutely ancient, looking no younger than hundred.</p>
<p>“Are you ready?” he heard Hermione whisper to him as he watched the face of the elder witch scrunch up in disgust. He found himself wondering what the wizard had said.</p>
<p>When he gave no response to the girl, she repeated her question a little louder. Apparently she thought he hadn’t heard her. </p>
<p>In reality, Severus was just contemplating on how to answer her question honestly.<br/>On one hand, he was more ready than he ever could be; there was not much to prepare for anyway. He had his school bag with his books with him and after he’d get the time-turner, it would only be a matter of turning the thing.</p>
<p>On the other hand, he had never been more apprehensive of something than this exact moment. Well, maybe not counting the time when he had to stand in a room with Dumbeldore, Lupin, Potter and the guy who had tried to get him killed, and he had to agree to keep his mouth shut about everything and carry on with life after a few handshakes. </p>
<p>But this moment came in as a very close second, and not because he would miss his life in '99 terribly, all holed up every minute of the day with Hermione as the only person to keep him company, but because dealing with the witch was still a lot better than having to live in the same castle as the Marauders even for just a day. Yes, her endless attempts on conversing with him, or her bubbly and cheery mood were annoying the hell out of him - and he had plenty of hell to exorcise-, but underneath all those irritating features, Severus knew there was actually a highly intelligent human being. So if he had to choose between her and those four idiots back in his own time, it wouldn’t be much of a choice. Though, painfully infuriating, the girl was actually accepting of him and wasn’t cruel. Maybe he wouldn’t miss this life, but he would miss her. She was the only one since Lily who hadn’t seen past his acerbic exterior, who had seen him for who he was, the one person who had understood his cold behaviour wasn’t meant as a personal insult, but merely a matter of self-preservation. She had seen him.</p>
<p>In the end, to respond to Hermione, he did what he always did when he wasn’t sure how to react: he deflected.</p>
<p>“There’s not much to get ready for.”</p>
<p>To Hermione’s credit, she seemed to have taken the hint; he didn’t want to talk about it with her, and she shut up. </p>
<p>When Jonas came back, Severus noted the man’s features were rather grave as he let himself be steered into what he supposed was one of the Experiment Vaults. As soon as all three of them were inside, the heavy metal door snapped shut behind them, locking them inside and away from the outer world. <br/>Severus looked around the room, which was somewhat miserable to be honest. In the middle there was one flimsy looking table surrounded by two equally flimsy looking folding chairs. In the back a large file cabinet decorated the wall, but that was about it. </p>
<p>“Let me see it!” Hermione said excitedly as soon as the door closed.</p>
<p>“Have a seat,” the Professor replied calmly.</p>
<p>Both students didn’t move an inch.</p>
<p>“Or not,” Jonas shrugged, sitting down himself.</p>
<p>Severus just raised one of his eyebrows. After all he’d seen from the Dutch Potions Master, he thought he was rather interesting. He seemed like a good bloke, honourable and caring, intelligent and creative, and overall not someone to break down easily. From what Severus had seen, Jonas Bergen was nothing like Professor Slughorn, who tended to let himself be carried away by the fame and money his naive students had to offer.</p>
<p>“Severus,” the Professor said, ignoring Hermione’s eager facial expressions. That was something else Severus appreciated; the man didn’t seem to be impressed by the witch’s antics, contrary to the professors Severus had dealt with, who would be absolutely gushing about her wits. No, the potioneer possessed a good portion of sobriety, which he probably got from his Dutch heritage.</p>
<p>“Jonas,” Severus said.</p>
<p>“This is goodbye,” Jonas continued. Severus cast a glance sideways at Hermione and saw she was equally tense. “However, your stay with us is not over yet, and you have to listen carefully now.”</p>
<p>Severus gave a curt nod, while the girl sat down as well.</p>
<p>“There has been a change of plans,” Jonas said, “Instead of just handing you the time-turner, I will go along with you. I’ve been assured that this particular one can also travel forward in time. This way, I can travel back to this time when I’ve delivered you back safely, and there will not be a missing time-turning in the Netherlands.”</p>
<p>This was followed by another nod.</p>
<p>“Once we’re in ‘78, I will hand you a port-key, which will bring you to Hogwarts,” the Professor said, as he leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “It's an empty soda can and you can just chuck it in the bin when you’re back.”</p>
<p>Severus nodded again, but he saw Hermione open her mouth, presumably to argue something, but with one look of her mentor, she put her lips together again.</p>
<p>“Now, Hermione,” Jonas went on. “You’ll stay here and ward the door. No one is to enter this vault, understood? I trust you will keep anyone out, till I get back, but this will take a few hours, ’cause it takes time to travel back and forth in time.”</p>
<p>He handed Hermione some fresh parchment scrolls and some old tomes. They were translations of traditional Dutch potions research, and the Professor had picked them up on his way back from Petra Janszen’s office when he’d altered the original plan.</p>
<p>“To kill the time,” he told Hermione, who practically beamed at him for a good few seconds before her misery-filled expression settled down again.</p>
<p>“Good,” the Professor nodded. Hermione’s head bobbed along. “Here we go then.”</p>
<p>Severus gave a nod in return as he felt the tension in the room rise. It was clear to him no one present felt comfortable with the situation.</p>
<p>Abruptly, Jonas stood and he pulled something from some pocket inside his robe. Hermione gasped and she slapped her hand over her mouth, but Severus just narrowed his eyes on the object in the Professor’s hand.</p>
<p>When Jonas uncurled his fingers, Severus found himself staring at an identical watch he had held all those days ago. This was his ride home, the time-turner McGonagall had to go around the British Minister of Magic for, and because of which Hermione and Jonas had traveled across the North Sea.</p>
<p>He took the watch from the Professor’s hand and turned it carefully to look at the back. There was an inscription in Ancient Runes as well, and if he recalled correctly, it was exactly the same as the one which had brought him into the future. <br/>Hermione got to her feet and went to stand beside him.</p>
<p>“The past, the present, the future; only of us is a gift,” she translated.</p>
<p><em>Rubbish</em>, Severus thought. As far as he was concerned none of them was a gift and certainly not the present. That one in particular only caused him a lot of trouble.</p>
<p>Severus looked at Hermione, but there was way too much going on in her eyes to read her thoughts. He saw something he recognised as sadness, as he had seen it before, but there was also resignation and a bit of relief even. When she noticed him looking at her, she gave him a small smile at which he arched one eyebrow.</p>
<p>Jonas’ voice pulled them back from wherever they’d gone to in that short moment.</p>
<p>“I believe it’s time now,” he said gently. “I’ve been told all you need to do is to focus on the moment you want to travel to. You’re going to have to lead us there, Severus.”</p>
<p>Severus looked up to see the Professor studying him and the girl. With one last curious glance at Hermione, Severus stepped back, turning the watch back to its front.</p>
<p>Slowly he put the chain around his neck, handing one end to the Potions Master, while pondering if he had to say something. He felt like he did, something like a thank you would probably be preferable, he just didn’t know how to say it. Thanking people wasn’t one of his fortes, at least not verbally; he liked to show people his gratitude rather than just voicing them. Anyone could say ‘thank you’, it was by people’s actions, Severus thought, you could really tell if a person was grateful, hence, his making dinner every night for the past eighteen days. </p>
<p>Now that he thought about it, he would actually miss those cooking sessions while the girl would do some research or light reading on the sofa, distracting him with her findings. The girl’s distraction, he wouldn’t miss, but the cooking. Back in 1978 he would only cook out of necessity, not for fun, and dare he say it, cooking for Hermione had been fun. He could make anything he’d wanted, every possible ingredient fresh and at his disposal at any given moment, thanks to the House Elves. Soon, every cooking he would do would result in something bland, no matter how hard he'd try. Outside of Hogwarts, every meal would consist of dry potatoes, a meager piece of meat so sad the sole of a shoe would taste better, with a side of three miserable green beans, only to top it all off with a large portion of drunk yelling and smashing glasses against the wall, courtesy of his lovely dad.</p>
<p>“I’ll miss you,” the girl mumbled as she avoided his gaze.</p>
<p>Severus felt his eyebrow rise into his hairline. Sure, they’d gotten along nicely over the past days, they’d even agreed on being friends, but he didn’t think they were that close. Maybe it was because of her being a Gryffindor. Either way, he wasn’t about to complain. No one had ever told him he would be missed. Not Lily, not his mum, no one. It felt good, like a warmth spreading inside his chest.</p>
<p>“Thanks, Hermione Granger,” he said. “Now I’ll have no one to appreciate my dinners.”</p>
<p>The girl looked up and met his gaze at the use of her full name.</p>
<p>“You’re most welcome, Severus Snape,” she replied. “And now I’ll have no one to appreciate my endless ramblings about potions.”</p>
<p>“I do not appreciate your ramblings, witch,” Severus stated.</p>
<p>“Yes, you do, wizard,” she said.</p>
<p>Severus smirked as he noted the big grin appearing on the girl’s face.</p>
<p>“Friends, right?” he said, making sure his voice was even and void of any uncertainty. He just wanted the confirmation he had a real friend somewhere in the universe, even if that friend was living in the future and they wouldn’t see each other again. </p>
<p>When Hermione didn’t immediately respond and her face scrunched up, even though she tried to hide it, Severus nearly shot into panic-mode, worrying he’d overstepped his bounds. Though he didn’t like to admit it to himself, he certainly felt a sense of disappointment and even hurt filling him. Then she opened her mouth.</p>
<p>“Friends,” the girl agreed, and Severus had to push down the urge to sigh in relief. </p>
<p>He offered his hand for a handshake, but Hermione didn’t go for it. Instead she leaped forward and crashed into him, putting her arms around his body, giving him a tight hug. <br/>For a second, Severus froze, not knowing how to deal with this witch clinging to his person, but as soon as his brain functions kicked back in, he put her arms around her, hugging her back. It wasn’t as if he was unfamiliar with hugs, Lily had hugged him loads of times. This time had just been a surprise. To his memory, he and Hermione had never touched each other over the course of the last weeks they had spent in each other’s vicinity, not counting the time he had rubbed that burn-healing salve into her skin, and that time she had put anti-bruising paste into his, but that had been nothing more than that, just healing.</p>
<p>Now, this tiny witch had him enveloped in a hug with a force he hadn’t expected from her, and it was quite welcome. It was the bit of affection he needed to get on with his life in his own time, away from her, not that he would ever admit to that out loud.</p>
<p>After seconds after seconds had passed, he pulled back, not wanting to overstep. They shared a look, and for the first time, Severus noticed how beautiful Hermione’s eyes were. <em>How did I not see this before?</em> Their eyes had met countless times before, but he couldn’t recall a moment he had noted how pretty those caramel orbs really were. </p>
<p>They were nothing like the bright green eyes Lily had, but that was something good, Severus figured. Lily’s eyes were absolutely stunning and Severus had fallen for them instantly, but Hermione’s were charming, alluring, those little copper flecks making you feel like you could easily drown in them, making you trust their owner. </p>
<p>Startled by his own thoughts, Severus stepped back, distancing himself both physically and mentally from the witch. <em> Since when do I consider any part of Hermione ‘beautiful’?</em></p>
<p>Still, he felt those brown eyes trained on him, as he frowned at the time-turning in his hand. When he looked up he saw both witch and wizard were looking at him expectantly.</p>
<p>
  <em>Well, no time like the present. Here goes nothing.</em>
</p>
<p>Pressing the button on top, he opened the lid of the watch and his eyes were reaccaintanced with those weird-looking numerals scattered across the face of the watch. With a quirk of his right eyebrow and a twitch of the corner of his lips, he met Hermione’s eyes for the last time. </p>
<p>“See you soon, Miss Granger,” the Professor said with a tip of his head.</p>
<p>Severus gave one last curt nod before he pressed the button again. Instantly the numerals began to move and his surroundings spinning, Hermione and her warm caramel eyes vanishing from view.</p>
<p>
  <em>Goodbye 1999. Goodbye Hermione Granger.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yes, yes I know and I'm sorry. This is not exactly fixing the obliviation problem. Just wait and see, will you? I <em>have</em> actually planned all of this. Well, most of it anyway... Part of it maybe...</p>
<p>Nou dat ging lekker = Well, that went over well</p>
<p>Also, Hermione obviously was not excited about the whole shabang; Severus just wasn't able to get a good read on her anymore.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter twenty-five - Remember</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Resuming life at Hogwarts without Severus is a little harder than expected.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>it's 2 am. i am tired. still had to go post this chap though cuz i forgot to do it yesterday</p><p>please enjoy!</p><p>and as always,</p><p>Much love!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter twenty-five - Remember</h1><p>Within ten seconds after Severus and Jonas vanished from view, Hermione broke down. Covering her mouth with one hand, she stumbled back to the wall. As tears streamed down her face, she continued to stare at the spot Severus had stood. </p><p>“No, no, no!” she kept mumbling over and over as she stared at the empty spot in front of her.</p><p>Being a Muggle-born, Hermione’d seen all those romantic comedies, she’d seen those farewell-scenes where the girl would crumble into a sobbing mess, but still somehow managed to look beautiful. This was not that. Well, she knew she had the sobbing mess part down, but there was absolutely nothing beautiful about her at that moment. </p><p>Her cheeks were blotched, her nose running, her hair frizzled. She knew her eyes must be bloodshot and she felt a wet patch on the sleeve of her formal robes where she’d wiped her nose. </p><p>She didn’t care though. For all that she was, a highly intelligent, rational woman, she allowed herself this one moment of self-pity, tears and snot included.</p><p>Only after she had no more tears left to cry, she took her time to look at the tomes Jonas had handed her. From what she could gather from just the titles, they could actually be very useful in her research, but when she opened one of them, she found none of the words registered.</p><p>Instead she just kept staring at the pages as though they were blank.</p><p>She didn’t even notice her Professor appearing from thin air three hours later. </p><p>“Hey,” he said softly, announcing his presence as he knelt beside her where she was seated with her head resting on the book in her lap. “Are you alright? I cast a Time-Telling charm when we arrived. He’s back safely.”</p><p>Shaking her head, Hermione managed to choke out a pathetic sounding ‘no’ before bursting into tears again.</p><p>“Shhhh,” her mentor said, as he took his wand to conjure a glass of water. “He’ll be fine. You’ll be fine.”</p><p>“No!” Hermione protested through her sobbing. “You don’t understand. He said he loved me. He told me I was the one good thing that had happened to him, and I took it away!”</p><p>Jonas nodded sadly. “I know. And it had to be done. You did good.”</p><p>“He’ll be so lonely,” Hermione cried out. “He’ll have no one to look out for him.”</p><p>“Yes, he will,” Jonas said. There was no point in denying it. “But he will not die in vain. He’ll die saving Britain’s wizarding world and for that we must be grateful.”</p><p>Hermione didn’t respond and Jonas just stood in silence as he waited for his apprentice to come to herself again. Eventually her breathing returned back to normal and she pulled out her wand to cleanse her sinuses. </p><p>“What are we going to do now?” she asked, her voice still a bit wavering. </p><p>Jonas already opened his mouth to answer, but she wasn’t done.</p><p>“Wait a second,” she said. “What did you say to that woman to get her to relent?”</p><p>Her mentor chuckled which made Hermione raise her left eyebrow. It seemed Severus’ influence hadn’t gone with the wizard himself.</p><p>“I promised I would go over some of her research with her to improve it,” he said simply.</p><p>“But she hates your guts! Why would you offer her your help?”</p><p>“Because she knows she needs it, so she wouldn’t refuse,” he replied. “And Petra doesn’t hate my guts, she loathes the fact I’m more- let's say, more accomplished than she in our line of work.”</p><p>“So Severus was right,” Hermione mumbled more to herself than to her mentor.</p><p>“He was?”</p><p>“He said she was envious of you and that was why she behaved so rude,” Hermione explained.</p><p>When she said that, she noticed the surprise in Jonas’ eyes, before they lit up with delight.</p><p>“He really is a clever wizard,” he chuckled. “A special wizard, indeed. Remember that, Hermione.”</p><p>She nodded.</p><p>Squeezing her shoulder in a comforting manner, Jonas got up. </p><p>“Now, let’s get out of here.”</p><p>The rest of the day, Jonas spent speaking with all kinds of witches and wizards who apparently needed him on the projects they were working on, while Hermione explored the Low some more.</p><p>She wandered through the different neighbourhoods, watched some ducks in a pond and bought another stroopwafel. Those things were really addictive.</p><p>By the time the evening came around and Jonas Apparated to her side, he took her to his home and introduced her to his wife, Margot. The three of them had a lovely dinner, Margot had made something called Hutspot, and Hermione was grateful they both didn’t mention Severus. Instead, Margot told her about Jonas as a teen and asked her about her apprenticeship with him in return. They talked about life in the Netherlands, going to school at Beauxbaton -Hermione filed everything away to tell Ginny-, potions, and more, and when it was time for bed, Jonas showed her the guestroom, in which she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. It had been a trying day. </p><p>The eighth of April brought a sunny day and Hermione was sad to leave the Low. Though she was eager to proceed with her dissertation project and see her friends again, she was more than a little apprehensive of going about her life without Severus there. She knew how sad that sounded, even in her own head, but the past weeks she had become used to the wizard’s presence. Without him, everything just seemed empty and wrong. </p><p>She had joined Harry and Ron for a drink at Grimmauld Place Monday’s evening, but though she’d been there physically, her mind had been somewhere else. Blaming it on her trip to the Netherlands, she carried on with her evening and the days after that, but her heart wasn’t in it. Harry and Ron must have noted her weary expression, but they hadn’t mentioned it.</p><p>As days progressed, Jonas noticed considerable changes in his apprentice’s behaviour. She was often lost in thought, though not as usual. She seemed to keep to herself, detached even. Her work didn’t suffer under her changed behaviour, but he could tell her mental stability clearly did. While she still excelled on everything she did professionally, she continued to spiral downward more and more each day.</p><p>He hadn't actually talked to her about the fact she had Obliviated her friend, but he didn’t know how to approach the topic. Everything the boy’s name was dropped, her eyes turned sad and she zoned out. It was obvious she had lost more than just a friend. </p><p>The girl hadn’t even told him about it, Minerva had. She had told him to keep an eye on the girl in case she wouldn’t go through with it and he’d have to step in. Now, after the fact, there wasn’t much needed to see it would keep affecting her for a long period of time.</p><p>That Monday when they’d come back to Hogwarts, a letter had been waiting for Hermione on her desk. It was now the eleventh of April, three days later, and she still hadn’t opened the envelope. However, she knew what it contained and that was exactly why she didn’t want to open it.</p><p>The Ministry’s stamp on the front told her all she needed to know.</p><p>It was an invitation to the first year’s Annual Memorial for the war.</p><p>In three weeks, it would be precisely a year since the Battle of Hogwarts, and Minister Shacklebolt, together with McGonagall, was busy organising a memorial service at Hogwarts on May the second. They would commemorate the death and celebrate the living at the feast in the evening. When the war had ended they hadn’t held a memorial or a victory party, everything had been too fresh, too painful. They had all needed time to grieve the ones they’d lost and to rebuild the lives without those.</p><p>Harry and Ron had told her all three of them were set to speak at the opening of some monument the Ministry wanted to place at Hogwarts and Hermione loathed that idea. Both Harry and Ron were a little apprehensive of speaking publicly, they were afraid it would steer the attention away from the actual memorial and toward the Golden Trio, but the boys' apprehension didn’t even come close to Hermione’s resentment of the whole affair.</p><p>She had seriously considered not going at all, but she knew she had to make an appearance to put up a good front. The Golden Trio was a symbol of hope and peace. It wouldn’t do for her to stay in her rooms while Harry and Ron were one floor up, facing the public without her.<br/>It was just so soon after Severus had left.</p><p>She missed the boy an awful lot, but she didn’t tell anyone. Of course now that he was gone, she <em>could</em> tell Ron, but she found she didn’t want to. It felt wrong to do so. Severus probably wouldn’t have wanted her to tell the boys, so she didn’t, not even Harry who already knew a lot. However, he didn’t know anything that had happened after Hermione had spoken with him, and she wanted to keep it that way.<br/>On his part, Harry didn’t ask her about it, sensing something bad had happened and she didn’t want to talk about it. </p><p>All those intimate moments that had transpired between the sallow skinned, hooked nosed, surly but brilliant wizard and her would stay between them. She would take it to the grave, just like he had. </p><p>o0o</p><p>After keeping close watch on Hermione for two weeks without any improvement, Jonas decided it was enough and he would pay a visit to the Headmistress. She had always been a mentor to his apprentice and maybe she could help out.</p><p>“Enter,” it sounded from inside the office and Jonas opened the door. Minerva was sitting behind her desk, scribbling away at some paperwork.</p><p>“Jonas, what can I do for you?” she asked without looking up from her work as she put the finishing touch to a file.</p><p>Jonas sat down on the right chair in front of her desk and waited patiently for her to put away her things which she did with a wave of her hand. Piles of parchment sorted themselves and flew to a cabinet behind the desk and then disappeared inside the drawers.</p><p>“I’ve come to voice my concerns,” Jonas said as the Headmistress poured them both some tea.</p><p>“It’s Hermione, isn’t it?” Minerva shot him a knowing look.</p><p>“How do you know?”</p><p>“If there was something wrong with the other students, you would’ve brought it up at the staff meeting,” the Headmistress explained, not unkindly. “This is more personal. I haven’t noticed anything out of the ordinary concerning you, so it must be about your apprentice, and considering what she has been through these past weeks, it figures she isn’t in the right state of mind. I know my students, Jonas.” </p><p>Impressed, Jonas felt a small smile tug at the corner of his lips.</p><p>“I’m afraid it’s a little more than not being in the right state of mind, Minerva,” he said, schooling his features. “Her work is still excellent, but the girl is… distracted.”</p><p>“Hm...” was all the Headmistress said. If anything, Jonas would’ve sworn she looked a bit guilty.</p><p>“Obviously the boy’s departure is indeed rather harsh on her, but I believe the fact she has Obliviated him is part of this depressed episode,” Jonas contemplated out loud.</p><p>As if on cue, Dumbledore walked into his frame and he greeted the potions Professor.</p><p>“Jonas, it is quite plain what is happening to the girl, is it not?” he said, his eyes twinkling.</p><p>“It is?” Jonas was confused. He knew Hermione had formed quite the bond with the boy, but he didn’t think his absence would affect her this much. </p><p>“My boy, it is love!” the portrait said as if nothing could be any clearer. “Miss Granger is heartbroken.”</p><p>“But was the <em>boy</em> who had feelings for <em>her</em>, not the other way around,” Jonas objected. “That’s why she had to Obliviate him, right?”</p><p>“Oh Jonas, are you really that naive?” It didn’t sound that unkind. “Your apprentice is a highly intelligent young woman. She needs someone who functions on the same level. Severus is the perfect wizard for her!”</p><p>Jonas opened and closed his mouth a few times before he realised he didn’t know what to say. He’d already known there had been blooming something between Hermione and Severus; that was why he’d come to see Minerva before, to voice his concerns about the potential repercussions of whatever it had been between the two of them. <br/>Now, after Severus’ departure, it was clear his concerns hadn’t been misplaced. Especially that last day in the Netherlands had confirmed they’d shared something special. </p><p>That being said, it seemed he had greatly miscalculated exactly how deep the connection between the young witch and wizard ran. Of course Hermione’d told him the boy’d loved her, but she hadn’t actually voiced her own feelings. Due to Severus Snape being the girl’s teacher for six years before she’d met him as a seventeen year old boy, Jonas didn’t understand why she would’ve fallen for the boy. Though, after hearing the portrait’s words, he could see the attraction between the two. Even those first two days, Jonas had already been able to tell how much alike they were. Okay, so perhaps it did make sense…</p><p>“I think you forget he was her teacher first, Albus,” said Minerva heavily. “With her intelligence, she must be able to see that!”</p><p>“But that’s where you’re wrong, my dear!” Dumbledore stated far too cheerily. “With her intelligence, Miss Granger was able to look past that. Don’t we know her to treat everyone for who they are? The Severus she’s spent her time with the past weeks was never her teacher. He was a like-minded spirit and probably more than kind to her once they connected. Love always finds a way.”</p><p>“Something tells me you’ve considered a relationship between the two of them a lot earlier than just this past month,” the Headmistress muttered sceptically.</p><p>“Perhaps I have,” the old wizard shrugged. “Do you really think it would be such a bad fit? What if Hermione <em>wished</em> to have a relationship with that boy?”</p><p>“Albus, I think we all know she does wish that,” Minerva said, clearing the air of any doubts left. “But that boy is gone, and his adult self is dead.”</p><p>The Headmaster sank down on his chair. “I know that boy has left, though I-”</p><p>“Excuse me,” Jonas cut in, putting his Dutch forwardness to the task. “But how does this help my apprentice?”</p><p>“Yes of course, you’re right, Jonas,” Minerva apologised. “We have to focus on the matter at hand. I think it’s best to keep the girl distracted. The sadness will fade with time. She has to forget about the boy.”</p><p>When Dumbledore had wanted to say something, the Headmistress wouldn’t let him, even going so far as threatening him to Silence him. It hadn’t escaped Jonas’ notice the pointed look she had shot the portrait, and though he did wonder what it was Dumbledore had wanted to say, he didn’t ask. </p><p>It wasn’t until Minerva'd suggested Oblivating Hermione in order to make her forget the loss she’d experienced, and Jonas had been on the verge of storming out -unaware that if he’d done so, he wouldn’t have been the first Potions Master to do so- Dumbledore stepped in again. </p><p>“That’s enough.” Though his voice was calm as ever, it didn’t leave any opening for disagreement. “Minerva, you have always criticised my meddling ways, but I’m afraid you are turning into me, my dear.”</p><p>The witch glared at the painting. “This is not meddling, Albus. I don’t like it much either, but it will help her. I always have her best interests at heart.”</p><p>“Of course you have,” Dumbledore granted with a glimpse of a smile decorating his face. “However, I do think there are other ways to help Miss Granger.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I want to thank all the people who comment on my work. I appreciate all of you for taking the time to leave me a message, and especially those who have been with me since the beginning.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Chapter twenty-six - the Memorial</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's May 2nd, one year after the war ended.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm so bad at summeries. Hopefully my actual writing is much better lol</p><p>That's all for now, so as always,</p><p>Much love :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter twenty-six - the Memorial</h1><p>May the second came and Hermione’s mood hadn’t improved. If anything it was worse, now that the day on which the world had lost Severus Snape was here. The man had left the world too soon.</p><p>She spent less and less time in Jonas’ lab on the third floor and more and more time in her bedroom, staring at the spot Severus’ bed had been in. It had been empty already when she’d come back from the Netherlands, so dramatically enveloping herself in his sheets had not been an option. </p><p>All classes were put off for the day and while the corridors were crawling with students, there was an eerie quietness in the air. Everyone felt the grave sense of loss as they neared the memorial service that would take place at two. </p><p>Teachers were comforting their students and each other or they were helping the Ministry’s officials setting up the memorial area outside in the sun. Flitwick and a bunch of his older Ravenclaws were helping their Headmistress move the benches from the Great Hall outside, while Sprout and two of her talented students were busy putting together flower arrangements to decorate the seating area and the dais in front of it.</p><p>“Anyone in here?”</p><p>It was a little after lunch when Ginny’s head appeared around the corner of the door in search of her friend. After hearing about Memorial Day, Headmistress Maxime hadn’t hesitated one second to let the youngest Weasley child return to Scotland. In fact, she had insisted on escorting the girl to Hogwarts as she herself would be attending the memorial service as well, to pay her respects to the dead.</p><p>At the sound of her friend’s voice, Hermione spun on her heels to face her friend just in time to be enveloped into a bear hug.</p><p>“I’ve missed you so much!” the red-head exclaimed.</p><p>“I’ve missed you too, Gin,” Hermione smiled with her eyes closed.</p><p>They took their time before they let go of each other and when they did, Ginny started asking questions Hermione should’ve expected, but hadn’t. She got completely blindsided.</p><p>“So...” her friend began, suggestively wiggling her eyebrows. “Where’s your handsome lad? Did you two do the deed? Fooled around? Bonked away? Tangled in the sheets? Or is he on the market again? Maybe I’ll ask Harry if he’s up for a third… You know, he’s surprisingly adventurous.” She paused when she saw Hermione’s face scrunch up in what she assumed was disgust. “Oh right, you probably don’t want to hear about those things. But seriously, did something happen between you two? Good or bad, give me all the details!” </p><p>Furiously blinking, Hermione tried to keep the upcoming tears from escaping her eyes while she controlled her breathing, ignoring Ginny’s inquiries. It was all she could do to keep herself from launching into a full-blown wailing session. Thankfully, Ginny wasn’t completely thick-headed and noticed something in Hermione’s demeanor.</p><p>“Something is wrong,” Ginny stated and Hermione simultaneously wished her face would show less of her thoughts and feelings, and was grateful for an attentive friend like Ginny.</p><p>When Hermione didn’t respond, Ginny took her friend by the hand and let her into the sitting area.</p><p>“Sit,” she ordered, sounding very much like her mother. “I’ll make tea and you’ll explain what’s up.”</p><p>Hermione took a seat in one of the armchairs, the one she had come to call Severus’ chair.</p><p>“Nothing is wro-” she started to sigh, but Ginny cut her off.</p><p>“Yes, it is,” she said, waving her wand at the cabinets and countertops where a kettle and two cups were busying themselves with pouring tea. “I can tell the way your brow is knit together. Is it the memorial service?”</p><p>The younger witch waved her wand again as she walked over to the sitting area and sat down on the sofa. Two cups of tea flew across the room and placed themselves at the coffee table.</p><p>“You know you can talk to me, right?” Ginny urged her friend gently.</p><p>“Yes, I know, Gin,” Hermione sighed. “It’s just not that easy.”</p><p>“Try me.”</p><p>Hermione reached over to get her cup and bit her bottom lip as she thought. She really wanted to tell Ginny about Severus and she doubted the girl would be appalled by her, but she didn’t want to besmirch the wizard’s memory by telling Ginny.</p><p>“I know you broke up with Ron,” the girl said after a while. “And I’m not mad, if that’s what you’re scared of.”</p><p>“You’re not?” While it wasn’t the thing she wanted to talk about the most, Hermione had been worrying she would lose Ginny as her friend once she’d learn about the break-up. They hadn’t spoken to each other in quite some time with the younger girl being at Beauxbaton and all. Apparently Ron or Harry had told her already and Hermione was more than a little relieved the girl wasn’t angry with her.</p><p>“No, of course not,” said Ginny. “I love my brother and he’s a good wizard, but you need someone with a little more …”</p><p>“Intellect?” Hermione offered.</p><p>“I was going to say a little more brain,” Ginny smirked. “But yes, you need someone who thinks on the same level as you, someone who knows you’re your own person and doesn’t want you to take care of an army of kids. That’s not Ron.”</p><p>Hermione couldn’t believe her ears. Ginny had put her reasons behind the break-up into one sentence and she agreed with them! </p><p>“You have no idea how much I needed to hear that,” she said, smiling brightly at her friend.</p><p>“You would never lose me over a boy, Hermione,” Ginny said as if nothing could be any simpler. “Even if that boy happens to be my brother.”</p><p>“Thanks, Gin.” </p><p>Both witches continued to sip their tea in silence until the clock on the wall chimed to let them know it was time to head upstairs. </p><p>“Are you ready?” Ginny asked as she stood and smoothed down her dress. It was black with some silver linings on the skirt which reached till just above the knee. It was elegant and feminine, yet tasteful.</p><p>Hermione nodded and got to her feet as well. She wore a dark green formal jumpsuit with black high heels.</p><p>Arm in arm they made their way to the main floor where Harry and Ron joined them. They all hugged and Harry gave his girlfriend a peck on the lips before they exited the castle to the memorial site.</p><p>Most of the witches and wizards who were invited were already there, sitting on the benches from the Great Hall, which was now empty in preparations of the Memorial dinner, but Jonas wasn’t in his seat yet.</p><p>Letting her eyes glide around the attendees, Hermione found him standing by the dais. It appeared as if he had a rather heated argument with the Headmistress. After almost a year of being his apprentice, Hermione could tell her mentor was aggravated by something by the way he used his hands while talking. It looked like he was accusing his employer of something, though the silver-haired woman didn’t look particularly perturbed by this. If anything, she looked bored, like they’d had this conversation a few times already, and Hermione wondered what it could be about. </p><p>“Alright there?” Harry’s voice pulled her back to the present.</p><p>She looked up and saw Harry and the rest waiting for her. Nodding, she followed them as they walked over to where the other Weasleys were seated. Molly held on to George as they both cried. Arthur sat beside his wife while he caressed her knee. Bill held hands with Fleur who had a little bundle of blankets called Victoire on her arm, Charlie just stared off in the distance, his arms crossed over his chest, and Percy sat with his head in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees.</p><p>As they made their way across the green lawn which was beautiful in May’s sun, Hermione saw literally everyone had come to pay their respects. Dean and Seamus were there, as was a lady who Hermione assumed was Seamus’ mum. Of course Neville and Luna had come, as well as Luna’s dad. Lavender’s parents had also come; her dad held her mum who was already crying over the loss of their daughter. Andromeda Tonks had brought little Teddy even though the poor boy wouldn’t know about his parents’ death till years later. </p><p>Hannah and Suzan from Hufflepuff were sitting with the Patil twins and Cho Chang, Terry Boot sat behind them with Mandy Brocklehurst, Ernie Macmillan and Justin Finch-Fletchley. <br/>Poor Dennis Creevy attended alone because his parents were both Muggles. </p><p>At the far end of the area, the Slytherins had gathered. Though Slughorn sat with the rest of Hogwarts’ staff in the front, other students and their parents were seated in the back, away from hateful eyes. Draco sat next to his mother who was sitting beside her husband. On Draco’s other side was a girl Hermione thought was called Astoria Greengrass. Gregory Goyle was behind them, as were Milicent Bulstrode, Pansy Parkinsons and Marcus Flint.</p><p>They were all there. </p><p>“Strange, isn’t it?” Harry whispered to Hermione as he walked beside her.</p><p>Hermione nodded. “If only Fred and Remus and Tonks could be with us.”</p><p>Harry glanced at her, his green eyes sad, but there was a smile on his face. </p><p>“They are,” he said as he gave her hand a little squeeze before he quickened his pace to walk with Ginny.</p><p>When they reached the Weasleys, Hermione let herself be hugged by George and shook hands with Arthur Weasley who had taken his sobbing wife from his son. With the others she exchanged a polite nod. </p><p>“I’ll see you later then,” she said a little awkwardly as Harry, Ron and Ginny took their seats.</p><p>“What do you mean, ‘Mione?” Ron asked. “Are you not going to sit with us?”</p><p>“I’m supposed to sit with Jonas,” Hermione explained with an apologetic shrug. “Apprentice things…” </p><p>She trailed off not knowing what to say, but luckily her mentor was right behind her.</p><p>“Mr. and Ms. Weasley,” he greeted Ron and Ginny with a sympathetic nod. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”</p><p>Hermione waited patiently as her mentor shook hands with everyone before he took her to the staff’s bench. They all greeted them with the same sad expression in their eyes.<br/>They sat down at the end of the bench, Hermione in between Jonas and Sprout, who was already sobbing into a large handkerchief.</p><p>Discreetly, Hermione cast a time-telling charm and it told her the service would begin shortly. She sighed in relief because she didn’t know how much longer she could take the depressing atmosphere before she would break down as well, something she had sworn to herself she wouldn’t. The past weeks she had cried enough. She didn’t even know if she had tears left to shed. </p><p>“It will be over before you know it,” Jonas said softly. The wizard had become very perceptive of his apprentice’s moods and he knew Hermione longed to be anywhere but at that very service. </p><p>As if on cue, Kingley appeared from somewhere behind the crowd and he made his way up to the little stage in front of the castle. Immediately everyone fell silent, even the press at the back of the area paused their inappropriately excited chattering.</p><p>“My friends,” the Minster said after letting his eyes glide over all attendees with a warm but serious expression on his face. “Thank you for being here today. While I wish there was no need for this gathering, I appreciate seeing you all here.”</p><p>Here and there a few sobs were heard but other than that, they all waited expectantly for their Minister to continue.</p><p>“Today we remember those who have fought to make this world a better place. Today we remember those who have given their lives so that we could live in a world of peace.”</p><p>Hermione closed her eyes to fight back the tears she didn’t know she had left. </p><p>“Today we remember Sirius Black, Lavender Brown, Colin Creevy-...”</p><p>The list went on and on. </p><p>“We remember Albus Dumbledore and Remus Lupin”</p><p>Hermione accepted the handkerchief Jonas held out to her.</p><p>“We remember Severus Snape.”</p><p>Hot tears streamed silently over her cheeks as Kingley went on to other unfamiliar names.</p><p>“And we remember Nymphadora Tonks and Fred Weasley.” he finally ended on. “Now, let us be together on this beautiful day and let us remember our loved ones whose lives shall not be forgotten.”</p><p>The next two minutes were supposed to be spent in complete silence, but Hermione wasn’t the only one who had to stifle a sob. Multiple whimpers were heard, from both witches and wizards. <br/>Of course Hermione’s thoughts went to Severus and to the weeks she had spent with him. Then to her days as a student and with him as a teacher, and while she didn’t think she had ever slacked in his classes, she wished she had cherished them more. </p><p>Though her main thoughts were with Severus Snape, she couldn’t help but feel a little guilty she didn’t think about Remus and Tonks, and Fred and Sirius. In fact, she hadn’t thought about them in weeks, not since Severus had fallen out of the sky and into her life.<br/>Oh gods, how she missed him and his sarcastic but caring attitude, his brilliance and snarky humour. </p><p>Fortunately, before she could go down that rabbithole again, the two minutes were up and Kingsly invited the Golden Trio to come forward.</p><p>With more than a little unease, Hermione stood and walked to the stage where she was joined by Ron and Harry. Naturally, it was Harry who spoke first. He had agreed with McGonagall he would talk about Severus Snape’s actions in his speech, and Hermione hated that she had to stand in front all of those people while listening to Harry, who hadn’t even known what kind of wonderful man Severus Snape had been.</p><p>“Thank you all for coming out today,” he said. “It is at moments like this one I feel extra grateful to be alive, to be able to stand here and speak to you. The past year has been hard on everyone. We have lost so much and so many, but it is because of those losses I can appreciate life just that much more and live it to the fullest, like my parents would want me to. The Minister has said it already. The dead will not be forgotten.”</p><p>He paused for a second to clear his throat as he glanced at Hermione. </p><p>“There is one death in particular that I think is worth mentioning today,” he then continued. “Many of you knew Severus Snape as a cruel and unfair teacher. Many of you remember him as the man who betrayed us all, the man who killed Albus Dumbledore. I’m sure some of you think he was worse than Voldemort.”</p><p>A shiver went through the audience at the sound of that horrible name.</p><p>“However, I think it’s time to rectify that image of a man who was nothing but brave and honourable. Yes, I’m still talking about Severus Snape, a man who made many mistakes, but worked almost his entire life to make up for them. Severus Snape died, saving our world. It is to him, we owe the peace and safety we can now live in. Without his endurance and persistence, we would have lost. Severus Snape was a hero and it is time the world knows it.”</p><p>After his speech Harry stepped back to let Ron speak, who talked about the importance of family and friends, being together and finding strength in each other. Honestly Hermione couldn’t be more proud of her friends. They had both grown from boys to young men.</p><p>Then it was her turn and she stepped forward to face the crowd. She let her eyes roam over all those people as he gathered her thoughts. Of course she had prepared a speech, but now, she didn’t feel like reciting it. Instead she spoke from the heart.</p><p>“We are here today to remember our friends and family. But the reason we can be here today is because each and every one of them and each and every one of you have fought for what we believed was right. I was lucky to fight alongside my friends, and I still am surrounded by people who love me and who I love in return, but not everyone has that same privilege. So today, my thoughts go to those who have fought a lonely fight. Because fighting the Dark together isn’t easy, but fighting it without someone there beside you, is nearly impossible.”</p><p>She paused to wipe a tear from her cheek, but refused the offered handkerchief, Kingsley held out to her.</p><p>Swallowing thickly, she soldiered on, “But our loved ones would want us to move forward. Do not forget them, but do not dwell on them. Live your life to the fullest, ‘cause with every step of the way, they will be with us.”</p><p>When Hermione finished, a silence fell over Hogwarts’ Grounds, and a full minute passed before Kingsley thanked them for their words and they returned to their seats. The next speaker was McGonagall who would reveal the War Monument and in passing the Headmistress gave Hermione a knowing look. Likewise, Jonas gave her a sad smile that told her the man knew she’d been talking about Severus.</p><p>“That was beautiful,” he whispered. “I’m sure he would have liked to hear that as well.”</p><p>“Thank you, Jonas.”</p><p>With the Golden Trio back on their spots on the benches, Kingsley gave way to the Headmistress, who said a few words as well. She spoke about how she was proud to see Hogwarts returned to her full glory so soon and she thanked everyone who had had a hand in that process. </p><p>“We have worked day and night to restore the castle to its original beauty and though the world around us has changed, Hogwarts will always be here for you,” McGonagall said. “And now it’s time to reveal the last change Hogwarts will see for hopefully years and years to come.”</p><p>She turned to face the outer wall and pulled out her wand, which she held up to the castle.</p><p>Oooh’s and aahh's filled the air as the facade of the castle changed its form. The space above the entrance doors had always been empty, save a few torches, but now a large inscription in Latin decorated Hogwarts’ entryway. </p><p>“Everything changes, nothing perishes,” Jonas translated out loud. </p><p>Under it was a writing in English. <em>Battle of Hogwarts, 1998</em>, Hermione read.</p><p>“Rather fitting,” Jonas commented dryly on the Latin. “I like it.”</p><p>Hermione almost wanted to ask how he could be so indifferent, but she caught herself in time. The wizard hadn’t been at the Battle. He hadn’t lost someone to the war. Other than supporting his colleagues and perhaps even her, his presence was merely mandatory because he was staff. Of course he wouldn’t be in tears and for that Hermione could hardly blame him.</p><p>However, though she thought it was a beautiful phrase, Hermione didn’t think it was fitting. Everything had changed, but some things really were truly lost.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know this chapter is a bit on the shorter side, but i felt like that if i added to it, it would only make it worse. And quality over quantity, right?<br/>Even though I've written this chapter pbb more than a month ago, I still remember having the hardest time coming up with suitable lines and keeping the story at a comfortable pace. For a while I debated whether to keep this chap or to just remove it from the fic altogether, but that's just not how writing a story works. Especially when the next few chapters are already written as wel...</p><p>Anyway, let me know what you think about this chapter; I love to read your thoughts!</p><p>Also, next chapter's from Severus' pov, so if you were wondering how his return went....</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Chapter twenty-seven - Back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's 1978 again and immediately, Severus is thrown back into life.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We're getting closer and closer to the end and I'm seriously dreading writing these last chapters. (yes i know i've said that before, but believe me, it's still very relevant)</p><p>Like, I know where I want the story to go and where I want it to end, but I have no idea where to get there. No, that's not true. In fact, I have way too many ideas and that's what fking me up.</p><p>Anyway, you don't want to know about this, you just want to read the fic, so... I hope you'll enjoy this chapter</p><p>And as always,</p><p>Much love!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter twenty-seven - Back</h1><p>Mentally saying goodbye to Hermione, Severus focused on the moment he needed to get to, as he watched as the numerals flew across the watch’s face.<br/>He looked away to prevent himself from getting nauseous by the rapid movement, but what he saw instead made his jaw go slack. </p><p>The room he had been in when he traveled to the future had been completely empty, nothing had changed. This time around, his surroundings moved in a blur as he traveled back in time. </p><p>Not daring to meet the Potions Master's eyes, he watched Hermione fade from view, other people came in and out of the Vault, the table and chairs moved around and were removed and replaced with other pieces of furniture.</p><p>It all happened incredibly fast, the whole travel feeling like it lasted not more than a minute. In reality, Severus knew from experience the process took about two hours.</p><p>When everything went still again and the numerals had settled back in place, Severus frowned. </p><p>He wasn’t in the Vault anymore, instead he was in the open air, no one in sight. Apparently, the Dutch Ministry had remodeled some time in the future and the Vaults didn’t exist yet. </p><p>“Hm,” Jonas’ voice said next to him. “I didn’t know this part of the Ministry was that new.”</p><p>Severus kept silent.</p><p>“Well, then,” Jonas said, carefully lifting the golden chain from Severus’ neck before handing him an empty soda can.</p><p>“It was a pleasure meeting you, Severus Snape,” he then said, extending his hand to shake, which Severus did with a single nod. “Even if you were only under my tutelage for a few weeks, I’ve seen you grow in ways I could never have expected. You are an extraordinary young wizard, Severus. You will encounter things you never have before and at times nothing will seem to make sense. I can only hope that you will find your way through life without forgetting how you are.”</p><p>Uncomfortable with the wizard’s cryptic but clearly genuine words, Severus swallowed.</p><p>“Thank you, Jonas,” he said at last, looking the wizard directly in the eye. He wasn’t the one for big monologues and at least he was honest, which he hoped they would be able to see in his eyes.</p><p>It didn’t matter, though, because within the next two seconds, Severus felt a familiar tug behind his belly button. The port key had activated.</p><p>o0o</p><p>As soon as he got out of that weird port key induced whirl and his feet hit the ground again, Severus couldn’t help but pat himself down to check if everything was still in place. Traveling by port-key was definitely not in his top ten traveling methods.</p><p>Getting sight of the majestic towers in the distance, he felt a certain warmth spreading in his very being. He was home; Spinner’s End had stopped being his home ever since he had set foot in the castle. Hogwarts was his home, even with those four tyrants called the Marauders. Yes, technically he had never left the grounds during his little trip into the future, but that hadn’t been <em>his</em> castle, it wasn’t his home. This was.</p><p>With a slight smile on his face, he averted his eyes from the castle to the gates in front of him, when he realised something causing the smile to vanish instantly.</p><p>
  <em>I can’t open these gates.</em>
</p><p>Only Hogwarts personnel could get him through the heavy wards that protected the school from unwanted visitors. Cursing at himself and Jonas for forgetting something like that, he wondered if he even got to the right time. The moving images during his time travel told him at least something had happened, but there was no way of knowing he had traveled to the right time. All he knew was what the Potions Master had told him, that the time-turner worked kind of like most spellwork and reacted to the user’s intent. At least, that’s what the watch that had taken him into the future in the first place had done, ‘cause all he had thought about at the time was to get away from Potter and Black. So maybe the wish to get back to 1978 had indeed been enough.</p><p>First things first, he pulled out his wand and Transfigured his formal robes into his standard Hogwarts uniform; whatever moment he would find himself in now, at least he wouldn’t be questioned about his clothing. The next thing he did was casting a Time-Telling charm, which told him it was a little over half past six, the exact time it had been when he’d arrived in ‘99. So far so good, he thought, hoping the time of day wasn’t the only time the time-turner got right.</p><p>
  <em>I guess there’s only one way to find out.</em>
</p><p>He reached out and rang the magical bell on the side of the gate, and then he did the only thing he could do. He waited. He waited a minute and when there was still no sign of life coming from the castle, he waited another minute, and another. He knew that the magical bell had a twin bell in Filch’s office and when he’d rang the one by the gate, the other would ring as well. </p><p>When after fifteen minutes of waiting Severus had almost resigned to the fact no one would be coming to let him inside, he heard footsteps behind him.<br/>He pivoted as he drew his wand, only to lower it when the person came into view. It was Headmaster Dumbledore, alive and cheery as ever, and most certainly not a portrait. </p><p>
  <em>It worked then.</em>
</p><p>“Mister Snape,” Dumbledore greeted him in a serious tone, his blue eyes void of any twinkle. “I believe this is no place for a student at this time of day. Twenty points will be taken from Slytherin House for being off-grounds unauthorised.”</p><p>Somewhere in the back of his mind, Severus realised that Dumbledore’s words were at least something of a confirmation the time-turner had done its job properly, but he said nothing as he followed the Headmaster through the gates and to the castle. Luckily, the old man seemed to be paying no attention to him as they made their way across the grounds.</p><p>
  <em>That figures, he never paid any kind of attention to me before.</em>
</p><p>As they walked side by side, Severus had time to revisit the events of the day.<br/>A lot had happened, only three hours ago he had woken up in the Netherlands for Merlin’s sake, having a real friend in his corner. Thinking about that friend, he thought about the last moments before he had left, the moment he had not only looked into her eyes, but really seen them, those beautiful copperish eyes.</p><p>Maybe he had never really noticed her before, because he had been blinded by his irritation for her and her endless talking. Now that he thought about it, had she really been that annoying? Hadn’t he enjoyed her company, appreciated it, specifically chosen it? Hadn't he actually been interested in the things she had to say, too? And yes, they had argued a lot, but she'd done so with a ferocity Severus knew few others had. Sifting through his memories of their arguments, he suddenly remembered the way her magic would fizzle and pop around her, making her hair all frizzy. She would also get a certain look in her eyes and Severus couldn't help but curse himself that he hadn't paid attention to that when he could. </p><p>Wait, but he had, hadn't he?</p><p>Yes, he knew he had enjoyed riling up the witch, but at the time he hadn't done it with much thought. Thinking back, he knew bloody well why he had enjoyed it so much. He loved to see Hermione all pent up and passionately defending herself or her thoughts. Why did he only now realise that? </p><p>The witch was clever, shared his interests and could actually keep up with his prickly sarcasm. Not even Lily had been able to do the latter; she had always stalked off when he’d started to get snarky, saying he should fix his attitude before she would consider hanging out with him again. No, he still loved Lily, but as the first person to ever capture his heart, he always would. Now, Hermione was something else, and while he wasn’t sure what exactly he felt for her, too, he knew he would miss her terribly, even her endless stream of questions. </p><p>With Hermione in his mind’s eye, he went back further, thinking about his time in 1999. He remembered how confused he had been when McGonagall had handed him that Daily Prophet, he had thought it was some sick joke. He also recalled how frustrating it was to be all holed up with some witch who insisted on making conversation every bloody time, but as the good Slytherin he was, he had kept low, taking everything in, observing his surroundings, including Hermione and Jonas Bergen. Though everyone involved had consistently repeated he was not to know anything about his future, he had actually learned a great deal of information. Basic deduction wasn’t that hard for Severus, and combined with Hermione’s tendency to overshare and her overly open facial expressions, he now knew maybe even more than he wished to know.</p><p>An impatient sounding cough pulled him out of his reverie, and Severus looked up to find himself looking into the blue eyes of the Headmaster.</p><p>“In you go, Mister Snape,” Dumbledore said. “And don’t let me catch you at places you are not supposed to be again.”</p><p>Nodding, Severus entered the castle, followed by the Headmaster who didn’t lift his eyes from him once as he steered him to the Great Hall to attend the last minutes of dinner. The old wizard even went as far as escorting him to his usual spot at the far end of the Slytherin table, but not before he reprimanded him again for being somewhere where he wasn’t supposed to be. Severus just nodded along, his face perfectly plain. Then Dumbledore took off, disappearing through the staff door behind the head table. </p><p>As Severus helped himself to a bowl of fruit salad and a glass of water, he glanced down at his house table. Nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary, no one had missed him. His housemates were all busy stuffing their faces with food, Severus himself had no room for yet, for it felt like a little before lunch time to him. Mulciber and Rosier were playing with their food, the three sisters Black were talking to each other, their snobby noses high in the air; everything was completely normal. </p><p>Letting his eyes roam around the rest of the Hall, his gaze fell on the Gryffindor table. Seeing Lily swoon all over Potter always made Severus sick to the stomach, but this time he also felt something he hadn’t felt before. It was a sense of acceptation, resignation. Much to his surprise, Severus didn’t feel the need to run to the Lions to yank Lily from Potter’s arms. Of course, he still hated Potter’s guts, and he was still bitter about the fact Lily had left him for that bloody Marauder, but seeing them together wasn’t as painful as he was used to. </p><p>Before he had time to analyse his feelings any further, however, a stern Scottish brogue broke his train of thought. </p><p>“Mister Snape,” he heard from behind him, “how nice of you to join us for dinner.”</p><p>Seveurs turned in his seat, looking up to see Professor McGonagall in all her fierce Scottish glory. She looked a lot younger than the last time he had seen her, twenty one years to be exact.</p><p>“Professor,” Severus started, but she cut him off.</p><p>“Being late for dinner is entirely your own responsibility, Mister Snape,” the Professor went on undisturbed. “But skipping my class altogether is not something I will tolerate from any student. Twenty points from Slytherin and be sure to have detention with me for the rest of the week. If you don’t see the point of attending my classes, I will make sure you’ll make up for the time you’ve missed some other way.”</p><p>Severus gulped. Living for nearly a month in his future, he had forgotten the fact he had skipped his Transfiguration class. Not even an hour had passed since he’d been back and already he’d lost his house forty points. It wasn’t as if he’d expected a warm welcome, or any at that, but this almost made him wish he was still in the constantly chattering witch’s quarters, having his ears talked off. Well, at least this helped him adjust quickly.</p><p>“Of course, Professor,” he simply replied.</p><p>The witch narrowed her eyes at him, one of her eyebrows dangerously arched.</p><p>“I expect you in my office immediately after dinner,” she said. “Do not be late, so refrain from taking any detours. Professor Dumbledore told me he found you outside the gates.”</p><p>“Yes, Professor,” Severus said, and the Professor turned on her heels.</p><p>“Five past seven, not a second later, Mister Snape,” she called over her shoulder before she swept out of the Hall.</p><p>One non-verbally cast <em>Tempus!</em> told him he had ten minutes left to eat his food before dinner ended and before he had five minute to get himself from the Great Hall all the way to the Gryffindor Tower where McGonagall had her office. </p><p>Shoveling his fruit into his mouth he thought some more about Hermione and Lily, but after those ten minutes had passed and the large pendulum clock chimed seven times, he was still stuck. He didn’t know how and what to feel anymore. Lily held his heart, but Hermione held his mind, and his mind had always been the one aspect of himself he had always prided himself on. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to banish his contemplations.</p><p>Getting up with the rest of the Hall, he waited impatiently till as everybody in front of him made their way out of the Hall and to their next destinations. As always some ruckus happened when too many students tried to push their way through the doors at the same time. This time the trouble involved Black and a Slytherin first-year Severus knew went by the name of Trevor Bailey.</p><p>
  <em>This is going to be good.</em>
</p><p>Severus rolled his eyes as the seventh-year Gryffindor shoved Bailey out of his way, causing him to trip and fall flat on his face. The sound of an eleven year old crying filled the room and soon several teachers were at the site. <br/>All Slytherins laughed as Hooch deduced ten points from Gryffindor before she urged them to move along, but Severus’ joy got disrupted when the hawk-like teacher ordered Black to an evening’s detention with his Head of House. </p><p>
  <em>That’s just brilliant. I get to be free from that beast for weeks only to have to serve detention with him the moment I get back.</em>
</p><p>But Black being Black, he tried to defend himself saying it was all Bailey’s fault.</p><p>“I don’t think I’m the one at fault here, Professor,” the arrogant son of a bitch said. “If anything, it’s the fault of that Slytherin wart.”</p><p>Severus noticed several older Slytherin students drawing their wands, but so did a handful Gryffindors. Most Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws had used the diversion to get out of the Hall safely.</p><p>“I won’t go into discussion with you, Mister Black,” Hooch said, crossing her arms. She made for an intimidating figure.</p><p>Black had already opened his mouth to argue back when Lupin grabbed his arm, shutting up his friend effectively. </p><p>“Seems like at least your friend knows what’s good for you,” Hooch remarked dryly. “Now, you lot,” she barked, addressing the rest of the students, “don’t you have places to be?”</p><p>As both Gryffindors and Slytherins hurried to make themselves scarce, Severus let himself be sucked into the crowd, leading him away from Hooch and his tormentors. Amidst the mass of students, he saw Lupin and Pettigrew dawdling behind the great James Potter. He ignored the three and headed in the direction of his destination.</p><p>After casting the Time-Telling charm again, Severus lengthened his strides. Black and his antics had taken three minutes of his five minute window to get to McGonagall’s office in time. Missing the immobile staircase ‘99 had, Severus tapped his foot impatiently as he watched the stairs in front of him turn in exactly the wrong direction.</p><p>By the time he reached the corridor leading to Gryffindor Tower, he had already run out of time. Slightly out of breath, he knocked on McGonagall's door, which flew open revealing the Scot sitting behind her desk. One of the chairs in front of her desk was already occupied, and Severus was surprised to see that it was Black. Asking himself how the hell that idiot had managed to get there earlier, he let himself be directed into the other chair.</p><p>“You’re late, Mister Snape,” the Professor said with her brows knit together.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Professor,” Severus replied. He knew better than to argue with her if he didn’t want to lose any more house points.</p><p>He held himself as still as possible as the Scot eyed him for a bit longer before addressing both him and Black. He made sure he held her gaze without looking away. She couldn’t intimidate him by merely staring at him; that ship had sailed a long time ago.<br/>Black clearly thought the same, ‘cause he didn’t even try to be polite. Leaned back in his chair, one ankle resting on the knee of his other leg, he was plucking feathers out of a quill. He didn’t even look up when the woman narrowed her eyes at him.</p><p>“You two have clashed more often this week alone than during last month, and it’s only Wednesday,” she said. “I hoped you would have outgrown this childish behaviour by now, but evidently I was thoroughly mistaken.”</p><p>Severus wanted to say the only reason he had gotten in so much trouble was the fact that Black had been the one constantly seeking out that trouble. He just bit his tongue and kept silent as McGonagall continued her little speech on responsibilities as a seventh-year of age, the nearing NEWTS, house unity and more of those unnecessary reminders. By the time she went on to the part of their punishment, Black’s quill was completely void of plumes.</p><p>“Since you’re still not able to behave yourselves as proper wizards, you will show to me you’re willing to improve by helping me put together the third year’s sex education class,” she said. “Together.”</p><p>Severus successfully kept his jaw from going slack, but despite his efforts, his eyebrows went straight for his hairline. The only thing keeping him from verbally protesting was the fact that Black seemed equally disturbed. Noticing the way the bastard crumbled the remains of his quill to a ball in his fist, Severus took a perverse pleasure in knowing the pureblood obviously hated the prospect of having to talk about sex with him and the ancient Transfiguration Mistress for three consecutive evenings.</p><p>The Professor, however, didn’t let herself be distracted by her students’ disgust.</p><p>“If you prove to me you can handle the topic like an adult and actually help me put together a decent lesson plan, I won’t make you teach the class as well,” she shattered all of Severus’ hope to just attend his detentions without putting in an actual effort. </p><p>
  <em>This is going to be a long week.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I don't know if you would like read the events of Severus' and Sirius' detention, but if you do, I regret to inform you Im not planning to include it in this fic. Maybe someone else can write something up, use this as a prompt. Or maybe if you really want to read it in my messy writing style, I can try and write something and post it as a one-shot.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Chapter twenty-eight - Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Again, this chapter was written weeks in advance. I went over it again before uploading it and i didn't feel like it's horrible, so hopefully you wont either.</p><p>The title does not make sense btw, but it's from when the chapter was going to be something else entirely and I have no idea what to change it to. Maybe i've saved the other version somewhere and I will post it once this fic is completed.</p><p>As always,</p><p>Much love :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter twenty-eight - Time</h1><p>After the Memorial, everyone was led inside. Students and their family’s and friends retired to the common rooms, Ministry officials assisted McGonagall and Flitwick with dinner preparations. The other teachers opened their doors to anyone who wanted guidance or just the company of a friendly face.</p><p>Hermione invited Harry and the Weasleys back to her quarters down in the dungeons where they could all clear their heads and relax till it was time for the fundraiser, which wouldn’t start for over five hours. However, her good intentions were thrown in her face by a furious Molly, who didn’t understand why Hermione had felt the need to end things with her son. <br/>Seeing Molly so angry with her had Hermione crying, but Arthur was more understanding. He gave her shoulder a little encouraging squeeze before he led his wife away, leaving their kids to decide what to do for themselves. The eldest three sons shrugged apologetic to Hermione and followed their parents, but George and Ron stayed with Ginny and Hermione.</p><p>“It’s just a bit much for her with the memorial and all,” George explained with a surprising level of rationality. “She’ll come around eventually.”</p><p>“I’ve tried to explain to her I’m okay with it and I respect your choices,” Ron added quietly. The tips of his ears were bright red.</p><p>She didn’t know if it was because they were being so sweet or because it was quite the emotional day already, but Hermione felt tears beginning to well up yet again. As she tried to wipe them away, the remaining Weasleys and Harry stepped forward and pulled her into a group hug.</p><p>“You’d think there would be no tears left to cry by now,” George deadpanned, his remark dissolving all the tension that had been lingering.</p><p>“Thank you all so much,” Hermione laughed through her tears. “I love you guys.”</p><p>“I love you too,” they all mumbled back, smiling.</p><p>With the tension gone, they made themselves comfortable on the sofa and armchairs. Harry and Ginny took care of the tea, while Hermione listened to George telling Ron about his adventures in the joke shop. Running such a shop naturally came with all kinds of funny encounters.<br/>All things considered, Hermione had a great time. They all shared stories about their lives outside of Hogwarts and after Neville and Luna had joined at some point, they told the rest about their travels in Peru and Merlin knows where. They talked, they laughed, they wept.<br/>It was lovely.</p><p>And yet, Hermione felt out of place.</p><p>Just an hour before the house elves would serve dinner, she excused herself and swept out of the room. </p><p>Roaming the halls and corridors of the old castle that had been her home ever since she began attending the British wizarding boarding school, Hermione grew more melancholic with every step. It wasn’t uncommon for the corridors to be filled with people, but usually there were only students, happily chattering about as they switched classrooms. Now, the crowds consisted of those students and their parents, none of them chattering. Instead, there they all talked with hushed tones or just hugged their family, holding onto each other in a tight embrace. It was a very hard day for everyone.</p><p>Hermione was too caught up in her own misery to notice any of that. She didn’t notice her former housemates greeting her as they passed her on the stairwell and almost ran into Marcus Flint in the Entrance Hall, the Chaser just barely able to avoid a crash, thanks to his Quidditch reflexes. </p><p>“Hermione” she then heard behind her.</p><p>Turning, she saw Harry coming towards her.</p><p>“Didn’t think I wouldn’t notice you ditching us, would you?” </p><p>Hermione gave him a sad smile. “Would you be angry if I said I hoped you would?”</p><p>Harry didn’t answer and Hermione didn’t ask for one. Her gaze fixated on the floor, she didn’t notice Harry was studying her.</p><p>“What’s wrong, Hermione?” he asked after it became clear she wasn’t going to speak up. </p><p>“What isn’t these days?” Hermione countered with a sigh, before turning away and resuming her wandering through the castle. As expected, Harry followed her, but in all honesty, Hermione didn’t mind. It wasn’t what she wanted, either; she just didn’t care.</p><p>“It’s him, isn’t it?”</p><p>Not having it in her to object to that obvious a truth, Hermione just kept silent.</p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?” Harry then asked.</p><p>Choosing to stay silent, Hermione kept walking, her feet leading her wherever they decided to go, since <em>she</em> certainly wasn’t in control of that, not consciously anyway.</p><p>“I feel guilty, you know,” the green-eyed young man who was still walking by her side continued. A part of Hermione was grateful he was still there, trying to get her out of her head by filling the silence with talking, another part silently wished he would just leave her alone. However, the first part took the second part’s side as soon as Harry went on.</p><p>“I shouldn’t have told you he loved my mum,” he said, making Hermione want to strangle her friend for reminding her of that. “ You must think he couldn’t love you, but I know-... Look, I talked to Ginny-” </p><p>Hermione opened her mouth to interrupt him.</p><p>“Not about that, don’t worry,” he hurried. “She said you seemed off, before the memorial, I mean. She thought it was about Ron, but I know it isn’t. It’s him, right? He’s not here anymore, is he? You visited Grimmauld Place, but your mind wasn’t with us then. He went back that last weekend of March, didn’t he?”</p><p>A silent tear gliding down her cheek, Hermione stopped walking and nodded. Immediately, she got herself enveloped into a bear-hug from Harry.</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked gently.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Hermione broke down, now openly crying into Harry’s chest, instead of fighting the tears. “I just miss him so much!”</p><p>She felt Harry shaking his head into her hair as she buried her head into his chest, both of them not caring she got his formal robes all wet with her tears.</p><p>“I know,” he said soothingly. “I know.”</p><p>“It’s just-” Hermione had to pause to take a breath in between her choked sobs. “He’s back there, without anyone, without anyone to care about him.”</p><p>“He’s got the memories of you to help him, right?”</p><p>Of course that hit a sensitive spot, but there was no way Harry could’ve known that; Hermione hadn’t told him anything about it after all. Even before the words had left the wizard’s mouth, the already sobbing witch’s crying intensified. </p><p>“Woah, hey, easy!” Harry tried to calm her. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>Unable to answer him through her tears and heaving chest, Hermione shook her head.</p><p>“Alright, calm down. I’ve got you,” Harry said in hushed tones. “Why don’t we go somewhere private?”</p><p>Though Hermione wasn’t the only one in that corridor crying into a friend’s embrace, her wailing got more than a few curious looks thrown their way, so Harry led them into an empty classroom on their right.</p><p>Inside, after he locked and warded the door, he pulled out the nearest seat and gently pushed Hermione down on it. Then he took his wand and used it to Conjure a handkerchief, which he handed his friend before Conjuring a goblet and filling it with water. Patiently, he sat down in another chair opposite Hermione and he waited till her sobs diminished.</p><p>“Thank you,” she smiled weakly at him when her breathing allowed her to talk again. She took the glass of water from his extended hand and took a small sip.</p><p>“Don’t mention it,” he said, his eyes full of empathy for the miserable young woman. He knew Hermione to be so, so strong, and to see her broken down like this, hurt him almost physically.</p><p>Minutes passed as they sat in that classroom, the only sound coming from Hermione who tried desperately to get her breathing under control, and Harry took the time to glance around the room. The decorations and the objects on the shelves lining both the left and right side of the room, told him that the classroom was used to teach Muggle Studies. Though Vernon and Petunia had kept him away from anything that wasn’t strictly needed for his upbringing, Harry recognised a few Muggle book titles, as well as a few names on bibliographies on Muggle authors and componists. There were also a few books on architecture, gardening, pets and public transportation.</p><p>Lost in thoughts about his uncle and aunt who he hadn’t seen in months, Harry almost missed Hermione’s whispered words.</p><p>“I Obliviated him.”</p><p>“What?” the word was out before he realised it.</p><p>“You said he would remember our moments together.” Hermione took a shuddering breath. “He won’t. I took an Oath, Professor McGonagall made me take it, I Obliviated him.”</p><p>Suddenly, Harry understood why Hermione was this distressed. It wasn’t just she’d lost a dear friend, possibly even someone more than a friend, it was the way she’d lost him. She had not only said goodbye to him, she’d erased herself from his mind, just like she had done to her parents, who she hadn’t seen again since. Of course the witch was depressed.</p><p>“Oh Hermione.” Harry stood and wrapped his arms around his friend again. “I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“No, no,” Hermione shook her head as she pushed Harry away from her. “It’s okay. It had to be done. Someone had to.”</p><p>“It’s still horrible.”</p><p>Despite everything, Hermione let out a chuckle.</p><p>“What's wrong?” Harry asked, alarmed. “Why are you laughing?”</p><p>“Just think about it,” Hermione answered. “Did you honestly think you would say something like that in favour of Severus Snape? You’ve always despised him.”</p><p>“I got rid of all of his charges from the Wizengamot!” Harry protested. “Didn’t you listen to me during that speech at the Memorial?”</p><p>“Yes, I know, Harry,” Hermione said. “It wasn’t an accusation. I just remembered the way you and Ron used to talk about him when he was our tea-”</p><p>She fell silent before gasping as her eyes went big as saucers and the water goblet she was holding fell to the floor, shattering in a million pieces, which Harry Vanished using his wand. Slapping a hand to her mouth, she got to her feet and began pacing, while rubbing her face.</p><p>Harry, who thought the witch had truly gone barmy, thought about sending his Patronus to McGonagall or the Potions Master to get some help, when Hermione halted and turned to face him.</p><p>“He was our teacher,” she said. </p><p>“Yes…?” Harry asked hesitantly, not following what was happening.</p><p>“He’ll be our teacher.”</p><p>Harry frowned. “And that is relevant now, how exactly?” </p><p>“Gods, I’ve been such an idiot!” Hermione exclaimed as she started pacing again.</p><p>“Okay, uhm,” Harry struggled to get actual words out for a moment. “Let’s just take it easy, okay? I don’t believe you are an idiot, so why don’t you explain why you think you are?”</p><p>“Harry, you don’t understand!” Still walking in circles, Hermione’s hair fizzled with sparks of her magic. “He will be our teacher! He said he loved me!”</p><p>“But you Obliviated him,” Harry pointed out. “Wait, he said what?!”</p><p>“Yes, yes, it happened,” Hermione waved her hand dismissively. “He won’t remember.”</p><p>Leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees, Harry almost shrugged. He didn’t though, ‘cause he didn’t know how it would come across. When he spoke next, he made sure his words were absolutely void of any trace of judgement and impatience.</p><p>“But if he won’t remember you, why does this matter?”</p><p>“Because,” Hermione responded heatedly. “He will remember me.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>It took awhile for Hermione to gather the right words to explain. Pacing, she went over every moment, word and touch she and Severus had shared, analysing them on their level of intimacy and affection. She had taken Severus' love for her, his affection, but not his sense of trust, because she’d wanted him to have someone to trust during his dark times. Obviously it hadn’t worked, judging by his treatment of her during his teacher days, but that wasn’t what worried Hermione.</p><p>She knew she’d done a good job of taking all Severus’ attraction towards her, she just didn’t know what memories had stayed. Despite her efforts to remove every memory she thought would have some essence of affection, she’d done just that; remove the memories <em>she</em> thought were filled with love. From her point of view, she’d gotten them all. The only problem, she now realised, was, she didn’t know if her point of view matched Severus’. For all she knew, he could still have some memories which had something to do with their short <em>bond</em>. If only she’d talked to him about it some more. </p><p>Realising Harry was still waiting for an explanation, she tried to get her thoughts straight.</p><p>“I didn’t erase all memories of me,” she started, ceasing her pacing. “I took everything I thought that made him see me in another light.”</p><p>“So that’s good then, isn’t it?” Harry asked, knowing it wasn’t. Whatever disturbed Hermione, wasn’t solved that easily.</p><p>“That’s just it, Harry,” she said, sitting down again as she held his gaze. “I took everything I thought was a notion of his feelings. I don’t know every single thing that made him love me! Honestly, I couldn’t believe he actually did, still can’t, so I just erased everything obvious, like holding hands and snogging, you know?”</p><p>Harry’s eyes widened as he tried to repel the thought of Hermione snogging Severus Snape, teenager or not. “You mean there is a chance he ended up loving you anyway? Despite your Memory charm?”</p><p>“Yes, I think so,” Hermione said with a small voice, now averting her gaze. She shook her head. “Aaargh! I mean, I don’t know. We never talked about our feelings, really. Not like that anyway. I don’t know how deep his feelings ran. Gods, this is terrible!”</p><p>“Uhm,” Harry hesitated, watching Hermione biting her nails and the calloused skin on the tips of her fingers. “So Professor Snape may have loved you while you were his student?”</p><p>“Please don’t say that!” Hermione squeaked, releasing her finger from her teeth and burying her head in her hands.</p><p>“But that doesn’t make any sense,” Harry thought aloud. “He treated you horribly. Remember what he said to you when Malfoy hexed your teeth?”</p><p>“I don’t need any reminder, thank you.” Hermione shot her friend a deadly glare from behind her fingers.</p><p>“Yes, yes, sorry!” Harry threw up his hands. “But still, while I can understand why you’re grossed out, why is this such a terrible thing? I mean… He’s gone.”</p><p>That earned him another glare, but he knew he kind of deserved that.</p><p>“Harry James Potter!” Hermione hissed from behind her hands and Harry couldn’t help but notice it sounded like something was caught in her throat. “That is NOT helping!”</p><p>“Hermione, you know I didn’t mean it like that.” he tried to go for a gentle tone. “But you can’t deny it. We <em>saw</em> him die. He wouldn’t have given his memories to me otherwise.”</p><p>As she dropped her hands, Harry could see her eyes were murderous.</p><p>“I don’t deny it,” she said sharply, angrily wiping away a few tears. “But that doesn’t mean I like to hear you say it.”</p><p>“Okay, I won’t,” Harry promised. “But why is it so bad he may have loved you? You didn’t know, you couldn’t have helped him.”</p><p>“That is also not helping, Harry.” Hermione scowled at him. “And you’re missing the point.”</p><p>“So explain it to me.” </p><p>Hermione took a deep breath, willing herself to calm down. </p><p>“Do you know why Professor McGonagall made me Obliviate him?” she asked Harry, who shrugged. </p><p>Pinching the bridge of her nose, Hermione sighed. Why did she always have to explain everything? </p><p>“Okay, look,” she said. “You probably know more than I do about this, with the memories you saw, I mean, but I was told he had to love you mum. That the world depended on that love. So, he couldn’t love me. He had no say in it. It had to be done, for the Greater Good.”</p><p>She couldn’t keep the disgust out of her voice at those last two words, but to be fair, she didn’t try all that hard. Contrary to popular opinions, Hermione wasn’t all that fond of Dumbledore and his Greater Good, especially not after her experiences the past two months, where it became painfully obvious just how meddling the old wizard had been. Even though the portrait of the former Headmaster was only as much as a mere hint of the real Dumbeldore, it was still awfully involved in other people’s life, and Hermione didn’t believe for a second it hadn’t had something to do with the plan to Obliviate Severus.</p><p>o0o</p><p>It took Harry a few moments to find suitable words for a reply, probably because he didn’t want to risk facing Hermione’s thorn if he accidentally said something insensitive again. There was a good chance he would find himself hexed into next week if he didn’t carefully choose his words.</p><p>In the end, he settled on a safe, “I don’t understand.”</p><p>Hermione muttered something under her breath, Harry couldn’t quite make out, though it sounded a lot like “and here I thought he had learned something during that training.”</p><p>“Harry, I don’t mean to insult you, but really, you can be so thick-headed sometimes,” she then said clearly, shaking her head. “You said it yourself, in your speech, I mean. Without Severus we wouldn’t have won the war. Haven’t you wondered <em>why</em> he’s dedicated his life to the Light, to you?”</p><p>Not hurt by Hermione’s comment, but still feeling a bit defensive, Harry ran a hand through his black hair as he thought about the question she’d asked him.</p><p>“Oh,” was all he could utter, when he realised what Hermione was telling him. </p><p>“Yes, oh,” she said sarcastically. “Do you now understand we can lose the world as we know it any minute now? He had to love Lily for us to win the war. I may have ruined everything!”</p><p>She began pacing again, her muttering increased to flat-out ranting as he ignored her friend, who was still sitting on his chair, looking shocked.</p><p>“Imagine all the damage I may have done to the world!” The despair in her voice was clearly audible. “How many of us will just drop dead? Harry! There’s no way you will survive this. I am so, so sorry! I messed up and only because I wanted to give him some-… No, there’s no excuse for this, I just… I have to go back. There’s no other way. Maybe Jonas can use the time-turner again. Then I’ll-”</p><p>“Hermione!” she then heard Harry bellowed, giving her the distinct feeling it wasn’t the first time he’d called her name.</p><p>Looking in his direction, but not meeting his gaze, for she dreaded whatever she might see in those green eyes, her tone reduced to a small voice as she spoke to him.</p><p>“Harry, I’m so sorry. How could you ever forgive me?” she said in an almost-whisper. “I may have killed you.”</p><p>She felt Harry staring at her and from the periphery of her eye she could see him shaking his head with a blank expression on his face. </p><p>“Please, Harry, say something,” she tried. “I never meant to hurt you or anyone. Please don’t be angry.”</p><p>Harry gave her a sad scoff as he briefly put his head in his hands, but he didn’t say anything.</p><p>“Harry...” Hermione began.</p><p>“I’m not angry,” he sighed, cutting her off.</p><p>Taken aback and relieved at the same time, Hermione’s “What? Why?” was out before she could stop the words.</p><p>“You’re a Gryffindor, Hermione,” her friend said as he ran a hand through his messy hair. “And a bloody good one at that. You did what you did out of love- oh please, just admit it. You love him. I can see it in your eyes and you’ve never talked about Ron like that. Point is, you didn’t do it out of malice. How can I be mad at you for doing what you believed was right?”</p><p>“Well, I-... But-... I just-” Hermione sputtered, astonished by Harry’s mature reaction. Whatever they taught him at that Auror’s programme, it was more than just training for the career.</p><p>“You realise we do need to go to McGonagall, right?” </p><p>Hermione nearly cringed. “Oh gods! What would she say? She’s going to be so disappointed in me!”</p><p>“Honestly, Hermione,” Harry shook his head. “If what you’re saying is true, I think she’ll have other things to worry about than being angry with you.”</p><p>Another glare was thrown his way, but Hermione didn’t berate him. She was already busy sending her Patronus to the Headmistress with a message saying she needed to speak to her right away.</p><p>“So, what will you tell her?” Harry asked when the silver otter had left and a silence had fallen over the Muggle Studies classroom.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Hermione admitted after giving it a moment’s thought. “Everything, I guess.”</p><p>She honestly had no idea how to tell the stern woman the end of the world was near, and at her hand, but Harry’s follow-up question got interrupted by the sudden presence of a silver cat.</p><p>“I’m in my office. You can come up immediately. The password is the same,” it said before vanishing into thin air.</p><p>“Well, let’s go, then,” Hermione tried for a light tone, but knew she failed miserably.</p><p>“I guess,” Harry said.</p><p>The two made their way through the castle in complete silence. There was no need for conversation; both had a lot on their minds already. So much, in fact, they both didn’t notice a certain Dutchman coming into view from around a corner, with whom they almost collided, had the man not stepped aside at the last beat.</p><p>“Are you two alright?” he asked them before they could apologise, but seeing his apprentice face, he knew all he needed to know. They were not alright.</p><p>“What happened?” </p><p>It was Harry who answered. “Hermione has come to realise something rather unpleasant. We’re on our way to Professor McGonagall.”</p><p>“I take it Hermione told you about our guest, Mister Potter?” Jonas caught on quickly, foregoing addressing the witch formally because he sensed this was a sensitive matter. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Call me Harry, please,” Harry said, but when he started to explain the situation in vague details in case anyone overheard, Hermione interrupted him.</p><p>“Please, Jonas,” she mumbled. “Don’t make me explain it again. Could you just go with us, so I only have to tell it once?”</p><p>Assuming this conversation with the Headmistress could be a very uncomfortable one, the Potions Master agreed instantly. He wasn’t particularly fond of his employer for a few days now, and especially after the heated argument they’d had just before the memorial, but he knew now was not the time to let himself be affected by such petty things. There was also a chance that very argument could be resolved just because of whatever Hermione had to get off her chest.</p><p>Silently, the three continued the trek up through the castle. Jonas and Hermione nodded politely to the students, Harry blushed everytime someone pointed at him as they poked their friend or family member in the ribs, speaking in hushed tones.</p><p>Eventually they reached the gargoyle and after Hermione gave the statue the password ‘Royal Stewart’ they stood in front of the heavy wooden door leading to the Headmistress’ office.</p><p>“Hermione, dear, please come in,” the Scottisch brogue called from inside.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>okay we're getting so so close to the end and i <em>still</em> haven't written anything for it. Actually, i haven't written something for this fic in maybe even a month now. Uni's been crazy, I got a new housemate a few weeks back, despite my hate for excercise I started working out again, which i haven't done for over a year, so my head just doesn't want to come up with words for this fic. I think i've still got about three chapters left before I run out, but we'll just have to wait and see if this story has to go on hiatus for a bit or not.</p><p>I genuinely smile everytime I get a message saying someone commented on my work or gave it kudos, so maybe i'll just go back over the comments to try and find some motivation and creativity.</p><p>Don't worry, I <em>will</em> finish this fic, but it may take some time for me to actually post it once it's written.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Chapter twenty-nine - Tell her</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>There is always a time when everything comes to light. That time is now.</p><p>Well, almost everything...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>First off, i want to thank you all for sticking with me throughout this story. At some point last week this fic hit 10 thousand hits and honestly that's about 9900 more than i thought it would get. With all the fantastic stories out there, it's an honour you all take the time to read mine, so thank you again, so much, for reading and commenting.</p><p>Now back to me:<br/>im still not back to writing again, but i have some vague ideas for when ill finally get to it. I dropped a class at uni, so hopefully my mind can actually spit out some words and sentences for the next chapters.</p><p>this chapter is pbb one of the most important ones, so i hope it's at least readable. Again, it's been written weeks ago.. (and posted a day late, sawry..)</p><p>Anyway, as always,</p><p>Much love!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter twenty-nine - Tell her</h1><p>“Hermione, what can I- Mister Potter, Jonas,” Minerva cut herself off. “What a surprise.” It wasn’t. The castle’s wards had told her exactly who had ascended the circular staircase behind the gargoyle the second Hermione, Harry and Jonas had even lifted even a toe in the direction of the stone steps.</p><p>Conjuring a tea service with four porcelain cups, she gestured to the little sitting nook on the left of her office. As she waited for her guests to sit down, she busied herself with preparing tea, favouring going through the motions herself instead of just asking a house-elf. It gave her time to tap into her wards to order the portraits of her predecessors to keep quiet, for she knew the always meddling fools would love to join in on the conversation otherwise. Minerva knew of course what this visit was about, or rather who it was about. Why else would Hermione be accompanied by these two?</p><p>o0o</p><p>Her hands tucked under her thighs to keep from fidgeting, Hermione watched the Headmistress pouring tea into four delicate tea cups. A whirl of thoughts and emotions went through her, but instead of allowing them to control and overwhelm her, the young apprentice held her head high and her back straight. She was certain McGonagall would be absolutely livid with her for jeopardizing the British wizarding world as a whole just because she hadn’t been able to keep her little Gryffindor heart in check. </p><p>Sharing a look with Harry who sat next to her on the settee, she saw he smiled at her in what she supposed had to be an encouraging manner, though she could tell he was fidgety, too. All it did for her, was fuel to her anxiety. As far as she knew, she had killed him and any moment now everything could fall apart.</p><p>Jonas wasn’t faring much better, even though they hadn’t even told him what this was about. If Hermione didn’t know any better she’d say her mentor was glaring at his employer with a vigour a certain other Potions Master would’ve been proud of. Briefly, she wondered if whatever Jonas and McGonagall had argued about before the memorial, had something to do with her… problem. She had a distinct feeling it did.</p><p>“Now,” the old witch interrupted the silence. “What is this visit about?”</p><p>Hermione swallowed. Though the Headmistress’ tone was gentle enough, the stern look in her eyes portrayed her true feelings. She was either annoyed at being disturbed with a, to her, unknown issue at an already emotional taxing day, or she knew exactly what was going on and she was about to hex Hermione into next year. Hermione suspected it was the latter. </p><p>Gathering her thoughts and her courage to voice her findings, Hermione opened her mouth to begin the story on how she might have destroyed everything they’d worked for. The actual words never left her lips; Jonas beat her to it.</p><p>“Headmistress,” he said, confirming Hermione’s suspicions. “I think we both know what this visit is about and I would appreciate it if you could finally relent and see the only solution to this matter.”</p><p>Quickly, it became clear just how much the two Professors knew about this still rather vague situation. In uncertain terms, they started to bicker like two teenage girls, but despite the enormous stream of words coming from their mouths, Hermione had next to no idea what they were going on about. The only thing that spoke to her was the continuously repeated words from Jonas ‘We have to tell her.” to which the Headmistress would shake her head, scowling.</p><p>While Hermione observed the teachers, she sensed Harry leaning towards her.</p><p>“What are they talking about?” he whispered, though Hermione thought there was no need to lower his voice because of the staggering amount of decibels Jonas and McGonagall were producing.</p><p>“Not to sound arrogant, but I think it’s about me,” she answered hesitantly.</p><p>“Why, yes it is, Hermione Granger,” a familiar voice behind them croaked, yet Hermione couldn’t immediately identify it. </p><p>Ignoring the row that was still going on in front of them, they turned to look at the culprit. It was the Sorting Hat, which was sitting on one of the shelves lining the high walls of the office.</p><p>“How can you be sure?” Hermione asked politely, repressing the feeling of weirdness of having a conversation with a ratty hat while her teachers were fighting behind her.</p><p>The tear that served as a mouth turned into an ugly grin. “The Headmistress and the Potions Master have discussed this matter a thousand times. <em>He</em> thinks they can solve your problems, while <em>she</em> thinks you have to live with your crimes. They both want what’s best for your heart, but their ways are, regrettably, far apart. Perhaps it’s best to voice your own concerns about the matter at hand. That way you will, no doubt, learn where you stand.” </p><p>Gaping at the Hat, Hermione considered its confusing words. It had said McGonagall thought she had to live with her crimes. Did that mean the Headmistress knew? But what about Jonas? The Hat had said her mentor thought they could still fix this mess. Was he right?</p><p>“It’s not always that creative,” Harry commented from beside her. “I think it’s been sitting on that little rhyme for a while.”</p><p>“So he spoke the truth?” Hermione turned to look at her friend.</p><p>“I think so, yes,” he nodded.</p><p>In the meantime, the two teachers had moved from the sitting area to the open space of the office. McGonagall sat perched on the edge of her desk, her arms folded and her face grim, while Jonas was positively outraged. Hermione had never seen the Potions Master like that. She knew he did possess quite a temper, but he always seemed to control it rather well. Now, Hermoine thought it wouldn’t take long before his emotions would send his magic cackling.</p><p>Meeting Harry’s eye, he just shrugged as if to say it was all up to her. She rolled her eyes as she cursed him for his stoicism. Wasn’t he the one on his way to an Auror’s degree? </p><p>Fortunately, her first attempt at getting her teachers’ attention was enough.</p><p>“Professors?” she called out, more than a little apprehensive of their reaction. Jonas’ head snapped sideways to look at her, his eyes betraying he had forgotten Harry and her presence in his fury. McGonagall, on the other hand, just pursed her lips together as she regarded her Gryffindors.</p><p>“I have some news to share.” </p><p>The woman nodded at her. “Please, tell us, dear.”</p><p>“Minerva,” Jonas growled warningly.</p><p>“Please hear her out, Professor” Harry interjected before things could escalate again.</p><p>With all eyes on her, Hermione found herself growing decidedly uncomfortable. Now that she had their attention, she had no idea how to break the news to them she might’ve killed them all. For all that she was, Hermione was plan-less. There was no speech prepared, no words considered, apologies concocted. She had no idea what to say.</p><p>In the end, all that came out was the pitiful whispered words “Harry’s going to die.”</p><p>“Excuse me?” the Headmistress’ brows, already drawn, flew into her hairline. Jonas just sighed.</p><p>Then the tears came. Again.</p><p>All the guilt, the anxiety and anguish came rolling down her face in the form of large shining tears. As she felt herself being pulled into a hug, she heard Harry’s voice from somewhere above her head try to explain the situation to the Professors.</p><p>“I’m not going to die,” he first established. “I mean, not like that. I mean- Merlin, this is hard. I don’t know what to say.”</p><p>“Try it,” McGonagall’s stern order came. “I believe as an Auror you have to learn how to brief your superiors with few words in mere seconds. Put that knowledge to the task, Potter.”</p><p>Hermione felt Harry take a deep breath before he continued.</p><p>“Well…” he shifted slightly, though not letting go of her. “Hermione is under the impression that she’s somehow failed to... er… cast a Memory Charm properly and she fears that the end of the world is near.”</p><p>Her head still buried in Harry’s chest and tears still streaming down her cheeks, Hermione hadn’t noticed Jonas approaching. When he spoke to her from two feet away instead of the other end of the room, she started. Disentangling her from Harry’s arms, she saw him sitting on the coffee table in front of her.</p><p>“Why do you think that?” the Dutchman asked gently, his blue eyes soft as he Conjured a handkerchief for her. “I know you did not like it, but I saw the result. You did a good job.”</p><p>Grateful, Hermione took the cloth from him and dabbed at her eyes before answering.</p><p>“It wasn’t my charm. I know I did it right,” she said. “It’s not that. It’s just that-” she took a steadying breath before taking the plunge “think I haven’t taken everything that I should’ve. But I am willing to go back in time to fix my mistake. I know I can do it. I know I messed up, but please let me- ”</p><p>“You think the boy will end up loving you anyway,” Jonas stated, interrupting her rambling.</p><p>Slowly, Hermione nodded as another tear slipped from her eye.</p><p>“Is that why you’ve been so distracted lately?” the Potions Master leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees.</p><p>Hermione shook her head. “I only realised my potential mishap just now. That’s why I called this meeting. I’ve been distressed because I…” a deep blushed crept onto her cheeks. “I just miss him,” she settled on.</p><p>“I thought as much,” Jonas muttered before turning to face his employer again. Harry reached out and gave Hermione’s shoulder a comforting squeeze. Now all they could do was wait for the adults’ reaction.</p><p>“See? You <em>have</em> to tell her,” the tall Professor said to the Headmistress. “It’s the only way now. Surely you can’t refuse now, can you? What if Hermione’s right?”</p><p>“We don’t know if she is,” she said prickly, “He wouldn’t want us to. It won’t do her any good. I am trying to protect her.”</p><p>“You don’t know if she isn’t!” Jonas shot back. “Are you really going to sit this out and just see what happens to your world? Be my guest, I'll just get back to France, it’s your loss, honestly. But wouldn’t you rather just find out? Just tell her!”</p><p>“No!” the former Transfigurations Professor suddenly raised her voice. “We can find out without telling her. There’s no need to!”</p><p>“CAN’T YOU SEE SHE’S MISERABLE VERDOMME?” </p><p>Hermione had to put in some serious effort to not recoil at the sudden outburst of the Potions Master. Next to her, Harry pulled out his wand, though he did not use it.</p><p>Her eyes fixed on her mentor, Hermione saw him drawing a deep steadying.</p><p>“Forgive me,” he sighed, his head hanging. “That was uncalled for.”</p><p>“Indeed,” his employer deadpanned, earning a deadly glare from him. Hermione was glad she’d never been on the man’s bad side.</p><p>“Look, I know we’ve been over this,” he began with a more neutral tone, though both his apprentice and the Headmistress weren’t fooled. He was still angry with his boss. “But now it’s staring you right in the face. You say you are protecting her, but what are you protecting her from? Getting hurt? Look at her. She’s already hurt.”</p><p>Hermione didn’t know if she liked being talked about like that, but she knew Jonas’ words to be true, her tear-stained face more than enough evidence. </p><p>“Before, though I highly disagree, I could see why you refused to say anything,” Jonas went on. “Now, it simply is not the logical thing to do. We need him. We need her.</p><p>“I want to know,” she said quickly before McGonagall could respond. “What aren’t you telling me?”</p><p>Much to Hermione’s surprise, the Headmistress didn’t tell her off immediately. Instead, she gave her a long look before abruptly turning to a familiar portrait.</p><p>“Albus,” she said. Hermione thought she sounded rather defeated. “Help me.”</p><p>No longer pretending to be asleep, the painted Headmaster opened his eyes, lifting his head to meet his predecessor’s eyes. An affectionate but gentle smile touched his lips.</p><p>“My dear Minerva,” Dumbledore said softly, his eyes twinkling. “Don’t you see the war is over? The time of plotting and scheming is over. Miss Granger is a mature witch now. Tell her.” </p><p>“And what of him, Albus? He wouldn’t want this, I’m sure of it.”</p><p>Dumbledore nodded thoughtfully. “That is possible. However, we will not be certain of that fact until he tells us. Tell her and let them decide for themselves what to do.”</p><p>Glancing at Jonas and Harry, Hermione had to remind herself to breathe as she listened to the portrait. It was quite obvious Harry had the same struggle, while Jonas just sat with his fingers steepled under his chin. Confused, she tried to catch her mentor’s eye, but his gaze was fixated on the portrait.</p><p>“How?” McGonagall asked. For the first time, Hermione noticed just how much the war had affected her former teacher. Of course she’d known about the horrible school year just one year ago, and she knew about the tortured and murdered students, but till that point she hadn’t seen the Headmistress this… old. Tired. </p><p>Hermione had always considered her teachers, with the exception of a few DADA teachers, as the most powerful witches and wizards alive. They had to be in order to teach the thousand and thousands of magical kids of Britain, and on top of that, most of them had fought in two wars which they’d survived. Up until now, as far as Hermione was concerned, the teachers of Hogwarts were nearly invincible. Well, of course she knew they weren't. It was just that the day-to-day life at the school made it easy to believe it to be true, but it was this sight of the vulnerable-looking Headmistress, that made Hermione realise her teachers were just people. They were human beings, who simply tried to do well by the school and their students. </p><p>“Tell her,” was all Dumbledore said. He then let his eyes glide over the office, Harry, Jonas and herself, before walking out of his frame.</p><p>Her face grave, McGonagall sunk down on her desk chair, facing the other three in the room, all three of them completely silent. Harry was still holding his wand, though he didn’t grip it as firmly as before. Drawing his wand as well, Jonas used it to refresh the forgotten tea and made one of the cups levitate towards the large desk.</p><p>For a few minutes the only sound in the room was people blowing the steam of their respective cups of tea or the slurping noise of someone trying to drink liquid that is still much too hot.</p><p>“Miss Granger,” the Headmistress’ voice eventually ended the silence. “Hermione, I am very sorry for what I have put you through. It was not fair of me to ask you to Obliviate the boy, especially not with your experience with the spell in mind.” Harry and Jonas glowered at the woman for bringing those things up, though Hermione inclined her head, indicating the apology was accepted. “I am sorry you haven’t felt like yourself the past weeks, but there are some who think I can offer you some solace.”</p><p>Hermione frowned. While she appreciated the Headmistress’ words, she still didn’t understand why she wasn’t more worried about the peace of the wizarding world. Apparently, Harry had the same thought.</p><p>“Professor,” he started. “I don’t want to be blunt, but there is a chance I’ll drop dead any minute now. Most likely, you too. Why aren’t we handling that?”</p><p>It wasn’t McGonagall who replied.</p><p>“If you could just get to the point, Headmistress,” Jonas said. “You’re stalling and that won’t help anyone.”</p><p>“I’m getting there!” McGonagall snapped at him, before getting herself under control again. “Jonas, not everything can be solved with your Dutch directness, whether you like it or not.”</p><p>Ignoring the jibe, Jonas just took another sip of his tea. If this was any other situation, Hermione would’ve laughed, but instead, she did the sensible thing and kept quiet as she willed her emotions to stay under control.</p><p>“Harry, you asked why we aren’t handling the problem you came to me with,” the witch continued. “We <em>are</em> handling the problem. In fact-”</p><p>“How?” Harry cut in, his disbelief audible in his voice. “How is this talk going to help us? Hermione offered to go back in time and do what’s right, even though it obviously kills her to do so, and you just sit here and talk?”</p><p>“Mister Potter!” the Headmistress admonished him, switching to his formal address. “If you want answers, at least try to refrain from interrupting.”</p><p>Closing his already opened mouth, Harry backed down.</p><p>“Sorry,” he mumbled into his tea cup, his cheeks red.</p><p>“Now, to answer your questions, we are handling the situation the best way possible,” the Professor said. “Travelling back in time will not be necessary, Miss Granger.” She paused to look at Hermione, who was fidgeting with her tea cup.</p><p>With all that she’d heard just now, an ocean of thoughts and suspicions filled her head, but until whatever it was they’d kept from her, she refused to let those thoughts control her. Seeking comfort, Hermione let her gaze fall sideways where her eyes met Jonas’. He smiled slightly at her, though his smile didn’t reach his eyes.</p><p>“Just listen,” he mouthed to her. “You’ll see.”</p><p>Nodding at her mentor, she blindly grabbed Harry’s hand, who was still playing with his wand. She gave it a light squeeze and almost smiled when she felt him placing his other hand on top of hers. Jonas gave her another soft curl of his lips.</p><p>“Do go on,” the Potions Master then said to his Headmistress. </p><p>“So impatient,” she muttered under her breath, though her words easily reached the ears of everyone present. Jonas just shook his head.</p><p>“Hermione, I cannot stress this enough, I truly am sorry for what I have asked of you,” McGonagall went back to her speech. “Your concern and your willingness to right your mistakes is much appreciated and it speaks of your Gryffindor qualities. However, time-travelling is not the quickest option here.”</p><p>There was a pause again, in which Harry and Hermione looked at each other, confused.</p><p>Turning back to the Headmistress, Hermione asked, “What do you mean, Professor?”</p><p>She hated how the Headmistress was beating around the bush instead of just coming clean. They would tell her one thing and she’d get a flimsy trace of hope filling her, for which she hated herself because it was foolish. But then they’d tell her something else and almost as soon as it had come, that hope would be squashed. And while she felt completely dimwitted for getting her hopes up even marginally, her Gryffindor senses told her it was better to have some hope than none at all.</p><p>“We have it on good authority there is another way of establishing our confirmed safety,” the Professor answered. “We can ask an anonymous source if everything has worked out the way it was supposed to.”</p><p>“And who is this source, Professor?” Harry asked sceptically. He had let go of Hermione’s hand and was flicking his wand again. Hermione suspected it was because of the nerves.</p><p>“A very reliable one,” was all they got.</p><p>A sigh from Jonas made them all turn their head in his direction.</p><p>“Tell them,” he said.</p><p>“Tell us what?” Harry questioned before anyone else could respond.</p><p>Growing impatient herself, Hermione nodded along. “Tell us what?”</p><p>The Headmistress kept silent as she shot her employee a look. He shrugged, not phased in the slightest. </p><p>“Tell her,” he said with a flick of his head in his apprentice’s direction.</p><p>Her tea cup still in her hands to keep them from trembling, Hermione willed her mentor to look at her. He did. </p><p>“Hermione,” he said softly. “While <em>others</em> are of the opinion it is not needed for you to know this, <em>I do</em> think you need to hear it. If it won’t lead to more, I think it will at least give you peace.” </p><p>“Wha-” Hermione began to ask him what he meant, but he’d already turned back to McGonagall.</p><p>“Tell her,” he repeated, crossing his arms.</p><p>“Tell me <em>what?</em>” Hermione pressed. </p><p>The Headmistress sighed. </p><p>Before she gave an answer, McGonagall seemed to ponder a few things. Her lips drawn into a thin line, she adjusted her glasses. She looked up to Dumbledore’s painting, but the man was gone. A look with Jonas was shared, the Potions Master obviously urging her to proceed, and looking older than ever, the Headmistress sighed again. She then opened her mouth.</p><p>“We have reason to believe Severus Snape is alive.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sooooooo..... thoughts?</p>
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<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Chapter thirty - Tears</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <em>There was no body.</em>
</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>IMPORTANT MESSAGE:<br/>While there's still more to this entire story, this chapter will be the <em>last</em> one before the epilogue. I know this seems kind of abrupt, but it's the only way i see this story continuing without me losing my mind. Please note: THIS IS NOT THE END. Yes, this chapter will be the "official" last one of this fic, but I will add it to a series so that the rest of the story can continue on its own. You see, I've been struggling to write the rest of this story for weeks, maybe months, and that's because I want it all.<br/>Writing is very much about making choices; not everything can happen in the same tale. That's why I have decided to write <em>two</em> alternative endings to this one. One will be a very explicit one with lots of smut, the other will be more in line with the story as i've set it. I don't really know how they will turn out in the end, but I'm planning on making it so that they will both be readable as stand-alones as well. </p><p>Then back to this work: <br/>As you may know, this is the first fic I've ever posted online and it's been amazing to read all of your comments. It's really encouraging and the things you say are just very sweet and kind, so thank you. <br/>Now, this chapter ends on a huge cliffhanger, that I'm making even worse when I say I don't know when I will be returning with the rest of the story. Sometime next week, I'll post my epilogue for this work but after that we'll have to see when I'm ready to post again. </p><p>Again, thank you so much for reading this and sticking with me. I hope you have enjoyed it so far and that you'll be back when there's more to read.</p><p>Till next week.</p><p>And as always,</p><p>Much love :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter thirty - Tears</h1><p>
  <em>There was no body.</em>
</p><p>Still processing, her sluggish brain remembered that moment clear as day. </p><p>The war had been over, wounded were being cared for, the bodies of the dead retrieved from all corners of the castle. Shamefully late they’d thought of the murdered spy in the Shrieking Shack. Only when they went back, he wasn’t there. At the time, they’d just chalked it up to some vengeful death eaters, but the fact remained; Severus Snape’s body was missing.</p><p> “He is <em>what</em>??!” Hermione got pulled back to the present by Harry’s exclaim. </p><p>As if in a haze, she looked at Jonas who nodded slowly. It felt like her head was filled with molasses.</p><p>Redirecting her gaze to the Headmistress, she just stared at the woman. She didn’t know if her world had suddenly become much, much better or if it had fallen apart completely. On one hand, she desperately wanted to believe it, but on the other, she simply could not let herself. What if it wasn’t true? Could she survive it when it came all crashing down again? But then, why would they lie to her about this? What was in it for them?</p><p>When she came up empty, Hermione frowned. She was still not allowing herself to feel relieved or happy, but it was comforting to know this probably wasn’t a manipulation of her psyche.</p><p>“It is true,” the Professor told Harry. “There is a good chance he is alive. Therefore, we can ask <em>him</em> what he’s done and if our fates are in the balance.”</p><p>“But-”</p><p>“No buts, Mister Potter,” McGonagall interrupted him. “This is all you get. I’m not even sure why you’re here, but since you are, this is all I can tell you. I’m trying to protect him and Hermione.</p><p>“Bollocks.” </p><p>“If you have any questions, Mister Po- Miss Granger!” the Headmistress gasped.</p><p>“Bollocks,” Hermione said again, surprising herself with how calm her voice sounded. “Complete and utter bollocks.”</p><p>“Miss Gra-”</p><p>“No!” Hermione cut off the old woman, not caring how rude she was. “How could you keep this from me??! You knew how all of this tormented me. I have been in agony for a month now! If I only knew… I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be courageous, but this is not courageous. You’re not protecting anyone but yourself!”</p><p>“Miss Granger,” McGonagall tried to interrupt her again, but this time Jonas stepped in.</p><p>“Let her talk, Minerva,” he said calmly, giving his apprentice an encouraging look.</p><p>Blinking away her tears, Hermione carried on. “Severus Snape has lived nearly his whole life in loneliness. He wasn’t liked by anyone, and even worse, no one trusted him. Then, the moment he finds even a little bit of happiness, you have me take that away from him. He died, thinking everyone hated him, that no one loved him. And now you tell me he didn’t die? Then tell me this: how is he now? Is he well? Does he have anyone to love him, to care for him? Is he happy?”</p><p>“I-” the Headmistress visibly swallowed. “I don’t know.”</p><p>“HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW?!” Hermione shrieked, getting to her feet. Her magic fizzled and popped around her, giving off blue sparks, but Hermione couldn’t care less. “You knew he survived and you didn’t check on him?  Did it not occur to you to inquire about his well-being? The man is a hero and he can’t even return home! You weren’t even planning on telling me! You only did it because you want me to seek him out and confirm our world’s peace, did you? How is that justice? And you call yourself a Gryffindor! Honestly, I’m disgusted to have learned what it means to be one from you. If this is what being a witch is, then I don’t want it. I quit!”</p><p>She started in the direction of the door, but the two wizards present got in her way.</p><p>“Let me go,” she snarled, but Harry did not move and neither did Jonas. “Let. Me. Go.”</p><p>“And where will you go?” Harry asked. “You say you quit? So you’re going back to being a Muggle?”</p><p>“It’s none of your business.”</p><p>She tried to shoulder her way through the men, but they wouldn’t budge. </p><p>“Let me go,” she repeated. They held their ground.</p><p>“Let me go.” </p><p>A sob got into her words and before she knew it, Hermione was crying into the arms of the friend she called a brother and the mentor she realised had become somewhat of a father figure. </p><p>“Shhhh, it’s okay, Hermione,” said Harry soothingly as he rubbed her back.</p><p>“Just let it out,” said Jonas gently as he stroked her bushy hair which had tripled in size due to her magical outburst.</p><p>The Headmistress had the good sense to hold her tongue.</p><p>“He’s been so lonely,” Hermione wailed. “I have been so lonely.”</p><p>“We know,” Jonas nodded. “We know.”</p><p>“It will be okay,” Harry whispered.</p><p>They sat her down on the settee again, flanking her as they fixed her a fresh cup of tea. Both men weren’t above shooting the Headmistress a deadly glare for distressing Hermione like this. Jonas’ glare held so much loathing, Harry even felt a little guilty for looking at his former Head of House like that. Obviously, Jonas had no such problems, for his eyes even hardened further when his employer had the nerve to glare back.</p><p>After a few minutes, Hermione’s breathing had gone back to a more normal pattern and with a couple of sips of tea, she thought she could contain her tears at least long enough to question McGonagall further. Kind of ashamed, she felt the need to apologise for her tantrum, although she was still angry with the Professor for keeping such life-changing information from her and she’d meant every single word she’d said.</p><p>“I apologise for my fit of temper,” she said with a shaky voice, though it grew steadier with each word. “But I will not take back my words. I am truly disappointed in you. I’ve always admired you, but I thought you were better than this. Severus Snape deserved, deserves better. That you don’t see that, is your problem, but that you have kept others, kept me from caring about him is inexcusable.”</p><p>There was a silence before McGonagall responded and Hermione almost thought she just wasn’t going to get an explanation, but then the old woman took off her glasses. She was crying.</p><p>Without a word Jonas waved his wand and provided her with a clean handkerchief and a cup of tea. He was angry with her, but he was still human. </p><p>For a second, Hermione felt her ire leaving her at the sight of the crying woman, but when she reminded herself of why the Scot was crying, it flowed right back. It served her right to shed a few tears. Merlin knew Hermione herself had done so.</p><p>“I am so very sorry, Hermione,” the Headmistress said between her silent tears. “Forgive an old woman for making the very mistake she’s always been afraid of making. I have cursed Albus Dumbledore for his incessant meddling, believing it did more damage than good. Now I understand he never intended to do harm. You have to believe everything I did was with your safety of body and soul in mind. </p><p>“Yes, the man is a hero and he’s suffered so much. I didn’t want to add to that by trying to talk to him and force him to come back to us. After all he’s been through, I thought we were obligated to leave him be in peace. I don’t think any attempt at contact would be appreciated. I was <em>trying</em> to protect you. I was trying to protect <em>him</em>.”</p><p>Hearing those heartfelt words, Hermione felt her own tears coming back up, but this time the tears weren’t for herself. It pained her to see the Professor hurting and whatever outrage she still harboured was not important right now.</p><p>The life of a teacher of Hogwarts was never easy. The life of Hogwarts’ Headmaster was unimaginable. And it was only now, that Hermione understood that sentiment. She also understood that forgiveness was not something you gave someone to set them free. You gave forgiveness to set yourself free. It wasn’t in Hermione’s nature to stay angry for long, but seeing and hearing McGonagall’s distress and guilt, she knew it was time to let go of her rage.</p><p>“I forgive you, Professor,” she said with a small voice, but making sure she was heard nonetheless. She knew it would take a while until she’d be able to fully stand behind those words, but she would get there eventually.</p><p>“Thank you,” the woman bowed her head. “You are a true Gryffindor, even though I have lost my way.”</p><p>“Then find it by telling me about Severus,” Hermione said rather cruelly, her still bubbling anger shining through for a second.</p><p>“Very well,” McGonagall agreed, wiping her eyes, seemingly oblivious to Hermione’s tone. “What do you want to know first?”</p><p>Weighing the importance of her questions against each other, Hermione looked at Jonas. He smiled at her, indicating it was okay for her to ask whatever she wanted. On her other side, Harry grabbed her hand and held it between his larger ones. Yes, she could do this.</p><p>“How long have you known?” was her first question.</p><p>“Not that long.”</p><p>Resisting the urge to roll her eyes at that pathetic excuse for an answer, Hermione opened her mouth to demand something more substantial. Harry got there before her.</p><p>“At least since the beginning of April,” he said. “You asked me to hold that speech at the fundraiser, to paint the Professor in a good light. You told me it was because of his son. It was because of him, wasn’t it? You knew he was alive and you wanted me to clear his name in public, not only for the Wizengamot like I did last year already, I might add.”</p><p>“You did what?!” Jonas’ eyebrows shot upwards. “Exactly how long have you known, Minerva?”</p><p>Visibly uncomfortable, the Headmistress sighed. “Since Hermione’s little foray into the Dark Forest, the twenty-seventh of March.”</p><p>“That long?!” Hermione gasped.</p><p>“What?!” Harry roared.</p><p>“Excuse me?!” Jonas demanded.</p><p>Four pairs of eyes stared at one another for a while, all four of their owners at a loss for words. It was Hermione who recovered the quickest.</p><p>“How?” she asked. “How did you know?”</p><p>“He Apparated.”</p><p>“And you said it was because he never abdicated from his position as Headmaster,” Hermione started, though she paused for a second before continuing, “Oh right, which he never did, ‘cause he is still alive.” in hindsight, she felt rather foolish. “But you told me-...” Truthfully, Hermione wasn’t sure anymore what exactly she’d been told.</p><p>“I did not know it when we spoke that afternoon,” McGonagall said, her voice full of regret. “It was only afterwards that Professor Dumbledore’s painting explained it to me. And he did not say Severus could Apparate because he never left his post. He said it was because the castle still recognised him as its Master. Regrettably, at the time, I did not understand the meaning of those words.”</p><p>“Would it have mattered?” Jonas asked from the sidelines of the conversation.</p><p>The Headmistress shook her head. “No, I don’t think it would have.”</p><p>“So where is he now?” Hermione questioned, trying to get the topic back to a more informative one. “Have you spoken to him?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” the Professor admitted with a sigh. “And no, I haven’t. Up until now I thought it was better to leave the man alone. Merlin knows he has suffered enough. I didn’t want to disturb the peace he hopefully lives in.”</p><p>“So, you don’t know he’s alive for sure then?” Harry asked the question Hermione had been sitting on.</p><p>McGonagall looked at him. “We are certain. The castle wouldn’t have allowed him to Apparate otherwise. Being Hogwarts’ Headmaster is for life, or until one resigns officially. Severus Snape never did.”</p><p>Taking in the words, Hermione swallowed.</p><p>“He’s alive then.” It came out in an almost-whisper. “He has survived.”</p><p>“Yes, he has,” the Headmistress’ voice told her, still from behind her desk.</p><p>“Harry,” Hermione said as her voice broke, clutching at her friend's hands. </p><p>“I’m right here, Hermione,” he assured her. </p><p>“We left him.”</p><p>“I-”</p><p>“We left him, Harry,” Hermione repeated. “He was still alive, dying, and we left him. His body was never found. He lives.”</p><p>“Oh gods,” Harry breathed as the realisation hit him as well and he found he had to blink a few times to keep his eyes from going glassy. </p><p>“You didn’t know,” Jonas said from their right. “If you’d stayed and tried to save him, the war could’ve had a different ending. It went like it was supposed to go. You won. He survived.”</p><p>“We left him for dead.” Hermione shook her head as she fought back her tears. In all honesty, she was kind of surprised she still had tears left. </p><p>“But he didn’t die,” her mentor reasoned gently. “All is well, Hermione. You did not save him, but he is safe, now.”</p><p>“We don’t know that,” Hermione protested before addressing the Headmistress. “How do I reach him?”</p><p>McGonagall, who was about to take a sip of tea, lowered her cup. “I beg your pardon?”</p><p>“You told me this information because you wanted me to search for him and ask him if our world is about to fall apart,” Hermione reminded her. “How do I do that?”</p><p>“I don’t- I don’t know,” the older witch sputtered rather uncharacteristically. But then again, this whole ordeal was not something anyone could be familiar with. “I never planned to contact him. I guess you’ll have to do research.”</p><p>“You never, not once, thought about reaching out to him?” The perplexity in Harry’s voice was unmistakable. “A man you thought was dead, but probably isn’t. A man you almost killed with a little help from Professors Sprout, Flickwick and Slughorn. Really?”</p><p>“What was the point of it, Mister Potter?” McGonagall asked him resolutely. “The man hated all of us, and with good reason. He will not want to speak to any of us.”</p><p>“Then why bother telling me all this?” Hermione thought aloud, getting angry again. “If you think he won’t speak to me, then why give me hope? Why not just send me back in time to fix my mistake to be sure?”</p><p>“I’m afraid it is not that simple,” the Headmistress said. “We experienced a lot of difficulties procuring a time-turner the last time we tried. You know this. I cannot afford it to risk my status with the Dutch Ministry again. Only if this plan fails, we will try again to get the Dutch to help us.”</p><p>“And what makes you think this plan will not fail?” Hermione crossed her arms. “You said it yourself; he will not want to speak to us.”</p><p>The former Head of House stayed silent. Jonas did not.</p><p>“You know why it won’t fail, Hermione,” he said kindly. “You said it yourself; he may have ended up loving you. If anyone can get through to him, it’s you.”</p><p>“Well, yes, but- I mean- that’s just-” Hermione stammered. Closing her eyes for a moment, she took a deep breath and steadied herself. When she felt in control again, she opened them again, her resolve now visible. “What do I tell him?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"Severus walked the halls of Hogwarts.</p><p>NEWTS obtained, Leaving Feast over, this was the end of an era. Letting his eyes glide over the stone walls, the sconces, the moving portraits, he thought about his seven years of education at the castle. Yes, he had suffered, physically and mentally, but he’d also learned a great deal. All of that knowledge and the skills they’d taught him, he’d taught himself, he could put to the task in the real world. Tomorrow, he’d be leaving."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE CHAPTER NOTES OF LAST CHAPTER, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU DO SO BEFORE CONTINUING.</p><p>So this is it. The last pages of this fic. I have to say, this last bit turned out longer than planned, but I guess that's okay; this entire fic has turned out to longer than planned.</p><p>Anyway, thank you all again. I don't know when I'll be back to posting the rest of the story, but be assured that I will at some point. </p><p>For now, please enjoy these last words of this work.</p><p>So long peeps.</p><p>And as always,</p><p>Much love :)</p><p>-AcerbicAnimagus</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Epilogue</h1><p>
  <strong>June 30th, 1978</strong>
</p><p>Severus walked the halls of Hogwarts.</p><p>NEWTS obtained, Leaving Feast over, this was the end of an era. Letting his eyes glide over the stone walls, the sconces, the moving portraits, he thought about his seven years of education at the castle. Yes, he had suffered, physically and mentally, but he’d also learned a great deal. All of that knowledge and the skills they’d taught him, he’d taught himself, he could put to the task in the real world. Tomorrow, he’d be leaving. </p><p>Onwards, there would be no more Marauders, no more Black, no more Potter. </p><p>Potter.</p><p>She’d chosen him. Despite the disgust he’d shared with Lily for Potter, she’d ended up in his arms anyway. It wasn’t even that he envied Potter, not anymore at least. Though he knew he would always love Lily, he knew she wasn’t meant to be his. He just wished he could still call her his friend, that she would call him <em>her</em> friend. But no, Severus had no friends. Well, he had Tom and Lucius; they were appreciative of him, and though he knew they only kept him around for his skills, it still felt good to stand in their midst, to feel like he belonged. He would never have had that feeling if he’d stayed glued to Lily’s side, he knew that. The Marauders would’ve made sure of that.</p><p>No, his life wasn’t where he wanted it to be, but it could be worse. He would be off with Tom and Lucius; Lily would be off with Potter. At least she looked happy. That was all he could wish for.<br/>
Well, at least where she was concerned.</p><p>If he could really have one wish….</p><p>No! He wouldn’t go there. It wouldn’t do him any good to let his thoughts wander in that direction again. As far as anyone was concerned, they had been friends and that had been the end of it. Severus refused to wonder what could’ve been if he had been given a little more time with the girl who had plagued his thoughts for the last few months.</p><p>He shook his head.</p><p>
  <em>Tomorrow, you’ll leave Hogwarts for good. You’ll have a new life, a better life. Don’t dwell on things that could’ve been.</em>
</p><p>Only, he wasn’t leaving for good and he knew it. Even though he still didn’t know the specifics, a little bird called Hermione Granger had told him that somewhere along the way, he would end up teaching at the school. Well, he would deal with that when the time came. Now, he had to get back to his dormitory, dodge his partying housemates, and get a decent night’s sleep before setting off into the big open world.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>November 1st, 1981</strong>
</p><p>And now he knew. </p><p>It was already more than two years ago since he’d known he would end up here and now he finally was. He hadn’t had a clue it would go like this, but in hindsight, he should’ve known it wouldn’t be by his own choice rather than yet again a set of circumstances forcing him into spots he did not want to be in. Granted, he himself was greatly responsible for the source of this miserable situation, and yes, it was he who had decided to turn to Albus Dumbledore, it was he who had agreed to do <em>anything</em> to keep Lily safe, but had he known what exactly <em>anything</em> would entail? No, he had not. Well, of course he had known he couldn’t just have stopped being the very thing he had worked so hard for, a Death Eater; but perhaps if he had known he would turn spy, he would’ve chosen a different path for himself.</p><p>At least, that was what he was trying to tell himself, sitting in his private teacher quarters in the dungeons of Hogwarts School.</p><p>His living room was filled with only standard issued furniture, meaning an old leather Chesterfield sofa with a matching armchair, a coffee table and little round diner table surrounded by two simple wooden chairs. Alongside one wall were floor-to-ceiling bookcases, the shelves empty, save for a solid amount of thirteen books, five of which were left behind by his predecessor Slughorn. The other eight were his own, but Severus had vowed to make sure those shelves would be properly filled as soon as his salary would allow. He had his own Floo as well, but the second he’d been let into his rooms, he’d warded it off, not wanting any calls to disturb his contemplations which really only consisted of self-loathing and self-doubt. How could he not? After all, he and he alone was responsible for the death of Lily Potter, whom, in his mind, he still called Lily Evans.</p><p>Rationally, Severus knew the blame wasn’t solely his, but trying to convince himself that proved futile. He could argue with himself all he wanted, it still felt like everything was his fault. Well, his and Dumbledore’s. The old man hadn’t had any qualms about manipulating him into this job the second the opportunity had risen. Oh make no mistake, Dumbledore had asked him before, when they had met on that windy hill and Severus had sworn his loyalty to the long-bearded wizard, but up until now, he had refused. It wasn’t until he had been at his lowest point ever in life - and in Severus’ case, that was really saying something - that Severus had conceded and accepted the job as Hogwarts’ new Potions Master.</p><p>His head in his hands, Severus took a staggering breath. After crying for hours, there was a pounding in his skull that felt like a hippogriff trying to escape through his eyeballs. He had to get his shit together. Showing emotions was exactly what had gotten him into this very mess. Now, with the Dark Lord gone -screw Dumbledore and his speculations- Severus swore to not let anything come near him, physically and more importantly, mentally. He would not let himself get hurt again.</p><p>Running a hand through his hair, Severus got to his feet and looked around the quiet room. This would be his home for the unforeseeable future, Dumbledore had said; the old wizard refusing to set any specific dates for his employment. Now, where had he heard that before?</p><p>Briefly, Severus thought back to his adventures in private quarters not unlike his own. Yes, his could use some work and touching-up to make it a bit more comfortable, but the essence was there. A persian rug, a big desk for when he didn’t want to go to his office -I have an office now, he thought-, and maybe a painting or two could really spruce up the place. Hadn’t Hermione had a second armchair?</p><p>Then he firmly shook his head. No, he would not think about that time, certainly not tonight. With a flick of his wrist, he doused the candles in the room and he went to his bedroom, where he immediately set to disrobe to ready himself for bed.</p><p>To be honest, he hadn’t given the bubbly witch that much thought the past two years, his time spent on things that required his full attention. With the support of Lucius’ fortune, Severus had completed a three-year’s Potions Mastery in just under two, and though he had initially objected to letting the older Slytherin pay for him, Severus couldn’t deny the benefits that Mastery had brought him. Not only had it put him in good graces with the Dark Lord, it had also secured him this job. Regrettably, that very job wasn’t what Severus would’ve wanted to do with his life, but at least it provided him with a better roof above his head than the one at Spinner’s End.<br/>
No, he hadn’t really thought about Hermione, at least not consciously. It was only now that he was back at Hogwarts, starting the career he thought would only come to him much later in life, that he was reminded of the brilliant and warm-hearted witch.</p><p>Crawling under the covers, Severus sighed. A quick cast of the Time-Telling Charm told him it was almost midnight. In a little more than eight hours he was due in the Great Hall, not at the Slytherin table, but at the Head Table.</p><p>Suddenly, his entire body filled with dread, his breathing quickening, his pulse racing. His mourning hadn’t left any room for other thought, but with the quickly approaching dawn, he realised he knew a rat’s arse about teaching.<br/>
If he had followed a Potions Apprenticeship before his Mastery, he would’ve had plenty experience with teaching, but the Dark Lord and he had agreed on the apprenticeship being a waste of time when all you really learned was teaching instead of actual brewing and creating potion recipes. And since Master Brouillard had only been concerned with teaching Severus his ingredients, languages and prep process, there had been no lesson on how to teach others himself.</p><p>It was because of this panic attack, that the following morning, when Severus entered the Great Hall to attend breakfast as a teacher for the first time in his life, he already looked like he was ready to snap at the first person who’d speak to him. His already lanky hair hung lifeless down the sides of his face, his dark eyes sunken low into their sockets, and his usually sallow skin bore even less of a healthy colour. Though Severus was severely sleep deprived, his nerves kept him on high alert, his dark eyes flitting across the room as he made his way to the Head Table.</p><p>As he sank down in his seat, McGonagall, whom he supposed he should start calling Minerva like she’d told him to, smiled encouragingly at him.</p><p>“Goodmorning, Severus,” she said, offering him a cup of tea. “Ready for your first day? I am sure you will do just fine.</p><p>Grumbling something vaguely resembling a thanks, Severus scowled at his plate. It wasn’t as if something on it offended him, but he could feel dozens of eyes staring at him from the house tables. This was exactly what he had feared. The students wouldn’t accept him as their teacher, they wouldn’t listen to him, they would endanger themselves and him with their ignorance. He knew that when the seventh years looked at him, all they could see was the awkward fifth year dangling upside down with his trousers and pants at his ankles. They would laugh at him, just like they’d done before. If he closed his eyes, he could still picture that scene vividly and peering through his black locks hiding his face at the students who were now under his care, he knew they would never let him teach them anything. After all, inside, he still was that awkward boy, his actual twenty-one years hardly mattering.</p><p>No, he decided. He would not let that happen.</p><p>As he firmly gripped his cutlery, he looked up and openly glowered at those who were still watching him. One withering look was enough for the lower years to redirect their attention back to their plates, but a few seventh years had the nerve to smirk at him with the insolence shining in their eyes.</p><p>“Are you feeling well, Severus?” McGonagall’s voice from beside him inquired.</p><p>“Are you?” he countered without meeting her eyes, still glaring daggers at the student tables.</p><p>“The nerves will settle, you know,” the Transfigurations Professor told him gently, appearing completely unperturbed by their rather one-sided conversation.</p><p>“If you say so,” he muttered, his eyes still roving over the student body.</p><p>“You are aware you can take points now?” the woman asked after presumably following his gaze and noticing the situation in front of them. “I’m sure I don’t have to remind you not to abuse that power, but if the students behave imprudent, you are allowed to punish them accordingly.”</p><p>That hadn’t occurred to him. Needless to say, now it had, his mood went up by a few notches. </p><p>“Thank you, Professor,” he said, turning his head to look at her as he stood, his breakfast forgotten. “I will certainly remember that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to prepare myself for my first class.”</p><p>Determined to make his students pay for all the cruel comments they were most likely making in between bites, he stalked off in the direction of the dungeons, his robes billowing behind him as he went, giving all persons present the first glimpse of the notorious Bat of the Dungeons.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>July 1st, 1989</strong>
</p><p>“Then this concludes our last meeting of the year,” Albus said to his staff. He waved his hand and suddenly the long table at which the teachers were seated was overloaded with treats and drinks.</p><p>Severus rolled his eyes at the ridiculous amount of candy but more so at his colleagues who immediately attacked them, happily chattering to each other. Picking up the files he would have to study during the break, he got to his feet, determined to slip out of the staff room without anyone noticing.</p><p>Of course it was just his fortune, Albus came around the table and clapped him on the back before Severus could take one step in the direction of the door.</p><p>“Severus, why are you off to in such a hurry?” the Headmaster asked jovially. “It’s Summer! There’s more than enough time to catch up on work. Stay. Have a Sherbet Lemon!”</p><p>“I will do no such thing, thank you very much,” Severus grumbled, refusing to even look at the offered candies. </p><p>“Don’t waste your time, Albus,” Minerva called from the other side of the table. “It’s a lost cause. I’m sure Severus is off to meet some witch back home, or wizard of course,” she added like an afterthought.</p><p>Severus glared at his colleague, who smiled innocently at him before popping a biscuit in her mouth.</p><p>“What an absurd notion,” he scoffed.</p><p>“Which part? The witch or wizard?” the Transfiguration Professor asked, her smile turning into a smirk.</p><p>“Leave the boy alone, Minerva,” Filius piped in next to her before Severus could counter. “Have any vacation plans, Severus?” he then asked cheerfully.</p><p>After a slight tilt of his head which could be interpreted as a thanks, Severus shook his head.</p><p>“Of course not,” Minerva said, looking very content with herself. “Well, apart from that witch or wizard of course. Or both, who knows?”</p><p>“First and foremost, I don’t see how that’s any of your business, Minerva,” Severus told her. “And secondly, I believe your old heart wouldn’t be able to take the truth, so I strongly advise you don’t ask questions you do not want to know the answers to.”</p><p>“Oh please, you cannot do anything with your thirty years I haven’t seen or heard or done myself.”</p><p>Smiling sardonically, Severus raised his eyebrow.</p><p>“Is that right?” he mused out loud, well-aware of their other colleagues listening in. “Well, then please enlighten us. What adventures have you taken, involving a wizard or a witch of course, or both, who knows?”</p><p>From the corner of his eye he saw Rolanda snort, Pomona covered her mouth with her hand, Filius just looked expectantly at Minerva and Albus took a seat, pretending to not have heard anything. Minerva herself had something of a blush going on.</p><p>“Cat got your tongue, Minerva?” he smirked.</p><p>“Just have a Sherbet Lemon, Severus,” the snappy answer came.</p><p>Happy with this win, Severus allowed his smirk to bleed into a grin. Shrinking his files with the help of his wand, he pocketed them.</p><p>“Excellent idea,” he then said. Looking his colleague straight in the eye, he surprised her by putting one of the bright yellow candies in his mouth, and without another word, he turned on his heels and headed for the door.</p><p>“Enjoy your break, Severus,” he heard Minerva call after him.</p><p>Halting, he smiled to himself, making sure no one saw. </p><p>Slightly turning his head, he said over his shoulder, “You, too, Minerva.” </p><p>
  <strong>July 1st, 1991</strong>
</p><p>Conjuring a blanket, Severus stood under the Silver Birch tree by the Great Lake. After a trying year it was finally summer break and he was determined to enjoy his free time as much as possible. Tomorrow he would have to leave the castle and go back to Spinner’s End, but ‘till then he would make the most of his time in the Scottish Highlands.</p><p>As July’s sun warmed his face, Severus settled under the large tree, propping himself up against the trunk, using his robes as a pillow. For a minute or two he just watched the water of the Lake lapping at the shore, reveling in the calmness that filled him as the small waves rustled when they hit the pebbles. Though he didn’t know why, for years he had felt himself drawn to that spot under the tree. It just felt like a safe haven.</p><p>After a moment of sitting while deeply inhaling the fresh air with his eyes closed, he steadied himself and pulled a stack of files from the inner pocket of his coat, which he then shuck before neatly folding it and placing it next to him on the blanket. Bending his right knee to support the files, he flicked open the folder and thumbed through the papers.<br/>
Aside from a few surprising names on the list of his NEWT-level class, there wasn’t much that he hadn’t anticipated. Dreading it, but knowing he should get to it, he waved his hand, making a certain collection of the files sort itself to the front of the lot. These were the student files of the first years that would be attending Hogwarts coming year. </p><p>The first one of the bunch read Abbot, Hannah, but that wasn’t the name Severus was looking for. Though he knew he should just rifle through them all like he did any other year instead of torturing himself like this, he waved his hand again and another file made its way to the top. It read Potter, Harry.</p><p>Feeling the way his muscles clenched at the sight of that name, Severus forced himself to relax, taking a deep breath and grounding himself. Only when he felt his Occlumency shields slide into place, he allowed himself to actually read the file on Lily’s son. Of course her death was mentioned in the first three sentences and Severus swallowed before he could continue reading. There was a part about Petunia and her wretched family Severus never had the displeasure of meeting, but it didn’t really processed, his attention caught by something below the student’s information. It was a Muggle photograph of a boy with messy black hair and round spectacles. Trying his hardest to ignore the similarities to the boy’s father, Severus had to swallow again as he looked the boy in the eye. He would never forget those green, almond-shaped.</p><p>The moment he felt himself become affected by those beautiful eyes, Severus teared away his gaze and focused on the horizon. A few steadying breaths later, when he felt in control again, he put Potter’s file to the back of the pile without looking at it again. </p><p>Abbot, Hannah’s file appeared again and after scanning it, filing away the knowledge of her being a half-blood, he proceeded to the next one in the stack. He made his way from one Bones, Suzan to a Finch-Fletchley, Justin, until he came across the file named Granger, Hermione.</p><p>For the third time since he’d sat down under the tree, Severus felt his pulse go up while his breathing stopped for a few seconds before he remembered he actually needed oxygen in order to live. Despite his Occlumency guards, which, admittedly, were a bit rusty after years of peace, Severus felt a dozen emotions wash over him. More than ten years had passed since he’d seen that name and during those years enough had happened to keep him from dwelling on his trip to the future. Of course he hadn’t forgotten the girl who had shown him such kindness, but between a war, becoming a spy and some Cursed Vaults, he hadn’t given her much thought.<br/>
That this would be the years they would actually first meet, had not occurred to him when Albus had handed him his folders. Nonetheless, it was this moment that he found himself staring at the picture of a ten-year old girl with bushy hair and buck-teeth. Even though he could not recall those large teeth in his memory of her, it was already clear this young girl would grow to be a dazzling young woman. In time, he knew her child-like features would dissolve, her lips would fill out, the hair less unruly. </p><p>NO! </p><p>Physically shaking his head, he reminded himself that this girl, a ten-year old, was just that, a young girl about to be under his care as a student. In spite of the fact he had only been three years older than the seventh years the year he’d started teaching, never had he felt himself drawn to a student. Not once. It didn’t matter he wasn’t attracted to this young girl, but to her future self; he refused to think about one of his students like that.</p><p>It wasn’t even that he remembered the way her face would narrow down into one of the prettiest faces he’d seen. No, again, the eyes were the aspect that captivated him the most. </p><p>Oh those warm brown eyes with honey-coloured specks in them were incomparable with the set of greens he knew one of her classmates had. Though these eyes shone with a childish naiveté, it was easy for Severus to tell the resemblances to the eyes he’d said goodbye to thirteen years ago. Clearly, the girl’s emotions had always been visible in her face, ‘cause he could tell she’d been impatiently excited at the time the photo had been taken. There was also the same sense of curiosity and intelligence in her eyes, making it much harder for Severus to separate this image of his memory. </p><p>Then an awful thought struck him and Severus felt his pulse quickening once more.</p><p>The girl had known he’d be her teacher. She’d known he would be her superior. And yet, she’d helped him, approached him, sought him out. </p><p>They had been intimate.</p><p><em>Why? Why in Merlin’s name would she do that?</em> </p><p>It wasn’t as much for that particular question Severus felt himself getting angry, more so the answer he’d found to that question. </p><p>She’d known he would teach her, she’d known her friends, the ones he had met at the fundraiser, would be taught by him and she’d still initiated intimate interaction. </p><p>Severus knew himself. He was by far the most pleasant Professor, on special days he would even venture and say he was the worst in years. Had he been like that during the girl’s school days? Would he be like that? Now could be the perfect moment to change, right?</p><p>
  <em>What a stupid question, of course I won't change.</em>
</p><p>But that brought him to the only conclusion he thought was left. </p><p>She’d done it to embarrass him, to humiliate him.</p><p>Granted, by the time everything would happen, he would be dead, he knew that. She wouldn’t be, though. No, she had all the time in the world to tell her little friends about her dalliances with the Great Bat of the Dungeons. Oh he knew what his students called him behind his back and he would bet a large sum of Galleons to say they would still call him that during the girl’s time.</p><p>Feeling his blood boiling, Severus imagined the girl talking to her friends, laughing their arses off because Hermione Granger had been able to seduce the Greasy Bastard. For all he knew, Hermione -he would have to start calling her Miss Granger, he realised- had been a Femme Fatale and he had been nothing more than another notch on her belt.</p><p>Bloody hell. Why had he let his guards down like that? Why had he allowed her to break them down?</p><p>He knew why. He had simply craved her attention, craved her. Yes, her body, he was still a man of flesh and blood, but her mind. It had been her brilliant mind that had reeled him in.</p><p>No, he wouldn’t think about her like that again. He wouldn’t.</p><p>Later that day, when he was sitting in his chambers, peering into the smouldering remains of wood in his fireplace, almost an entire bottle of Firewhiskey polished off, he knew what to do.</p><p>Thrusting his hand in his pocket, he thought long and hard. </p><p>
  <em>I will not think about Hermione Granger in any other way than strictly professional. I will never reveal my true thoughts about her to her or anyone else. She will be just another student to me.</em>
</p><p>As he palmed his wand inside his pocket, he felt his magic swirling around him.</p><p>His vow was set.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This story will continue in part 2 of the Time series, once I have written it.</p><p>Thank you for reading.</p><p>Much love.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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